Epilogue: A Hearts and Hooves Day Miracle
“Goodbye, class!” Miss Cheerilee called as her class filed out of the schoolhouse. “Enjoy the rest of Hearts and Hooves Day!”
“What a great party!” said Sweetie Belle, trotting alongside her friends. “I love Hearts and Hooves Day, and Miss Cheerilee is the best teacher in Equestria!”
“I can’t believe Miss Cheerilee doesn’t have her own very special somepony!” said Apple Bloom. “If anypony deserves one, it’s Miss Cheerilee!”
“I can’t believe Diamond Tiara missed the party,” replied Silver Spoon, leaning against Snails as she walked. “She really loves Hearts and Hooves Day too. You know how romantic she can be.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Ugh, don’t remind me! Watching her making eyes at Applebuck was so painful. Snips, if I ever get like that, promise me you’ll throw me off a cloud or something?”
Apple Bloom sighed, looking back at the schoolhouse. Sweetie Belle moved around and nuzzled her shoulder. “You’re thinking about Gold Watch, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” she replied, giving another sigh. “I know he’d have something really romantic planned for Hearts and Hooves Day if I was in his world. Probably a trip to Manehattan or something. It was just really nice to have a colt paying that much attention to me, you know?”
“I know,” agreed Sweetie Belle. “Applebuck was always so happy around Diamond Tiara. But it’s okay – you’ve still got us! We’re all going to hang out together, right, guys?”
“Oh, I will, but Snips said not to tell anypony about his secret plans for this afternoon,” said Snails.
“Snails!” shrieked Snips, and headbutted his friend. The two unicorn colts erupted into a tangle of flailing hooves, tumbling along beside the others.
“Should we, like, stop them or something?” asked Silver Spoon, watching the colts fighting.
“Nah, they’ll get bored soon,” said Scootaloo. Sure enough, Snips and Snails were helping each other up and brushing themselves off in a matter of moments. “Sooooo... secret plans, huh?” she asked, nudging her head against Snips. “What kind of plans?”
“Oh, well, uh,” mumbled Snips, turning his head up to watch the sky as he talked. “Just, y’know... I thought we could get dinner and watch a show together.”
“Sounds cool,” the young pegasus admitted. “Where are we going?”
“How does Cloudsdale sound?” A rainbow blur streaked past the six friends, circled them once, and skidded to a halt, resolving itself into a familiar blue pegasus, hitched to a streamlined racing chariot.
“Rainbow Dash!” squealed Scootaloo. “Oh my gosh! Are you taking us to Cloudsdale?”
“Sure am! Snips and I have set up dinner at the Cloud Nine Restaurant, and tickets to see, pause for dramatic effect... the Wonderbolts!”
Scootaloo nearly fainted with excitement. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! This is going to be the best night ever! You’re the best coltfriend in the world, Snips!” The orange filly flapped her wings excitedly as she threw her front legs around Snips’s neck, kissing his cheek over and over.
“Hey, no problem,” said Snips, nuzzling her in return. “You’re the coolest filly in school! Who can I get to give you the best Hearts and Hooves Day ever except for the most superextremawesomazing pony in Ponyville?”
“And thank you too, Rainbow Dash! This is so awesome of you!” Scootaloo pounced on Rainbow Dash, hugging her idol fiercely.
“Yeah, well, you’d be surprised how many Rainbow Dash Points a colt can earn by doing all my laundry and grocery shopping for a month. And I wanted to see an old Cloudsdale friend for Hearts and Hooves Day anyway. Come on, hop aboard. Your parents packed a scarf for you in case it’s cold up there.”
Scootaloo and Snips scrambled into the seat of Rainbow Dash’s chariot, and waved frantically to their friends as the older pegasus carried them aloft. The others grinned and waved until the chariot was out of sight.
“Gee, I feel kind of outdone now,” sighed Snails. “All I was going to do was make you your favourite dinner.”
“Steamed aubergine and bok choi with a watercress and ginger garnish?” asked Silver Spoon, her ears pricking up in delight.
“You bet!” said Snails, grinning goofily.
Silver Spoon nuzzled Snails contentedly. “That’s so sweet of you,” she crooned. “Say, do you guys mind if we drop by Diamond Tiara’s place? I’m worried she might be sick or something.”
“Good idea!” said Apple Bloom. “I’m kinda worried too. I really thought she’d be at school today.”
The four friends walked together, chatting about Miss Cheerilee and Rainbow Dash, until the Rich mansion came into view. The front yard was empty of ponies, but two figures were playing on the tennis court to one side of the mansion. As they watched, the light brown adult lobbed a serve to the pink and purple child, who lunged for the ball and barely managed to beat it back over the net.
“Looks like Diamond Tiara is okay, if she’s up and playing tennis with her dad,” commented Sweetie Belle.
Silver Spoon squinted at the tennis court. “Hang on a minute, that’s not Diamond Tiara. That’s...”
“Gold Watch?” gasped Apple Bloom, galloping down the hill towards the court. Sure enough, Gold Watch dropped his tennis racquet when he heard Apple Bloom’s voice, and he ran to meet her with an excited squeal. “Apple Bloom! It’s so good to see you!”
Apple Bloom wrapped her front legs around Gold Watch’s shoulders and hugged him tightly, then kissed his cheek. “I was afraid I was never going to see you again, Goldie! Twilight Sparkle kept saying she couldn’t get the portal open again.”
“I thought I’d never get to see you again either, but Dusk Shine showed up at my house just after sunrise, and said he’d made it work! He can open it anytime he wants now, or at least every once in a while. I would have met you guys at school, but I wanted to spend some time with Dad.” He went to stand next to Filthy Rich as the stallion approached, leaning against his leg.
“Afternoon, Apple Bloom,” Filthy Rich greeted her. “My lad Gold Watch here tell me you two were quite good friends in his world.”
Apple Bloom blushed as she smiled at Filthy Rich. She had gotten to know Filthy Rich quite well since she and Diamond Tiara had become friends – and had learned to address him as “Mister Rich”, never “Mister Filthy” – but she had never needed to talk to either him or Greasy Lucre about her relationship with Gold Watch. “Yeah, we, um, yeah,” she stammered. “So... you two are getting on pretty well, then?”
Filthy Rich tousled Gold Watch’s purple and white mane with one hoof, and the colt responded by nudging his head against Filthy Rich’s leg. “Diamond Pendant and I always wanted a little brother for Diamond Tiara. It’s nice to know how he would have turned out.”
“Gold Chain will always be Father, but I think Filthy Rich can be Dad,” said Gold Watch. “It’s been pretty cool hanging out all day.”
“Here come your friends,” said Filthy Rich, pointing up the hill. “I’ll get you kids something to drink.” He wandered back into the mansion while Sweetie Belle, Snails and Silver Spoon trotted down to join Apple Bloom and Gold Watch.
“Hey everypony!” said Apple Bloom excitedly. “This is Gold Watch, my very special somepony from Applebuck’s world. He’s... well, he’s kind of the male version of Diamond Tiara. Goldie, this is Sweetie Belle...”
“A pleasure,” said Gold Watch, executing a graceful bow to Sweetie Belle, who hid her mouth behind her hoof and giggled.
“And this is Snails!” Apple Bloom continued, gesturing to her unicorn friend.
“It’s an honour to meet you, good sir,” said Gold Watch as he offered Snails his hoof to shake. He gave Apple Bloom a quick inquiring glance, evidently wondering who Snails was in his world.
“You too! Wow, you’re Gold Watch! Apple Bloom told us all about how awesome you are! I love your waistcoat!” Snails grinned excitedly as he shook Gold Watch’s hoof.
Gold Watch smiled in recognition. “Ah, I think I know who you are, now. Spice and I always have fun together, and I can just tell we’re going to be great friends!”
Apple Bloom beamed happily, thrilled that all of her friends were getting along so well. “And this,” she said, gesturing to the last filly to be introduced, “is Silver Spoon.”
Gold Watch and Silver Spoon met each other’s gazes and slowly moved together, looking at each other inquisitively. The pink colt reached out a front hoof towards the grey filly. “Bump?” he asked, tentatively.
“Bump...” replied Silver Spoon, meeting the outstretched hoof with her own.
“Sugar lump! Rump!” they finished together, then hugged each other tightly, laughing.
“It really is you!” exclaimed Gold Watch, nuzzling Silver Spoon’s shoulder tenderly. “This is amazing! Blue Chip is my best friend in my world. He’s always there for me when things go wrong, and he stops me from making some really bad decisions sometimes. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Diamond Tiara is really lucky to have you as her friend.”
“Really?” asked Silver Spoon, looking a little taken aback. “She never told me that.”
Gold Watch blinked. “What? Of course she did! I’ve said it to Blue Chip dozens of times! I mean... I’m sure I have... well, it was implied, right?” He looked at the ground, shifting his hooves awkwardly. “I just always thought that he knew how much he means to me.”
“He knows,” Silver Spoon assured Gold Watch, laying her neck against his. “It’s just nice to hear you say it.”
“Come on in, kids!” called Filthy Rich from the door to the mansion. “Drinks and cupcakes are up.”
The five children streamed into the house, and sat around the kitchen table, feasting on cupcakes, lemonade and apple juice. Apple Bloom dined happily with her friends, chatting about school, Crusades and other adventures and mishaps. Gold Watch’s news from his world wasn’t exactly novel, as almost the same things had happened in her world, but it was good to hear it all the same.
Apple Bloom’s eyes lit up as she remembered a package she had left with Twilight Sparkle for when she finally opened the portal again. “Hey, Goldie, did Dusk Shine give you anything to give to me? It would have been a box about so big, wrapped in butcher’s paper?”
Gold Watch perked up and dashed from the room, returning with a large box balanced on his back. “Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! I’m guessing this is the stuff you left behind when you had to go so quickly?”
The identical package Apple Bloom left with Twilight Sparkle had contained all of Applebuck’s leftover possessions, so Apple Bloom knew what to expect when she tore open the parcel. “It’s my dress!” she cried, holding the shimmering red and green outfit against her body. “I love it so much! Thank you again, it’s so gorgeous!”
Gold Watch chuckled and pressed a hoof against Apple Bloom’s fetlock. “You know that Elusive would have made it for you even if I hadn’t commissioned it. He wasn’t going to let me pay for it at all, but then he said something about ‘being generous with opportunities for generosity’. I’m so glad you like it. You looked beautiful in it.”
Apple Bloom nosed through the package some more. “Oh, and here are my earrings! I sent those cufflinks back to Applebuck with the rest of his stuff, Silver Spoon. I’m sure he liked them as much as I like these.” She turned her attention back to the box. “And here are all the photos we took! This is me and Spice just before my first date with Goldie, and this is the Crusaders, and here’s us at the spa... oh, we all had such a great time together. But I have great fun with you guys, too. I’m so lucky to have such good friends.”
All of her friends agreed, and they lounged around the mansion until it was time for Snails and Silver Spoon to head back to Snails’s house for dinner. Gold Watch and Sweetie Belle trotted out with them, but Apple Bloom stayed behind a little longer at Filthy Rich’s request.
“I believe I have you to thank for all of this, Apple Bloom,” said Filthy Rich, seated across the lounge room from the filly. “It was you who crossed into the other world and made friends with... well, with my son.”
“I still don’t quite know how it happened, but I guess so,” replied Apple Bloom. “I learned a whole lot while I was there, and now Diamond Tiara and I are good friends, and the most popular fillies at school, too!”
“So my daughter tells me,” Filthy Rich replied with a smile. “Listen, I am aware that Diamond Tiara’s behaviour has gone downhill since her mother passed away. She has her mother’s ambition, but not the perspective that comes with decades of leadership experience. She was trying too hard to be the next Diamond Pendant, and I’m sorry if you ever had to bear the brunt of that.”
Apple Bloom pondered. She could tell Filthy Rich about all of the times Diamond Tiara had humiliated her, made her look like a foal in front of the whole school, made her cry, made her wish she were anywhere but Ponyville. It was all true, it had all happened, and it still hurt.
“That’s okay, Mister Rich. It could have happened to anypony. We’re friends now, and that’s what matters.”
“It does matter, a great deal. Diamond Tiara may have always had the respect of most of her peers, but since you and she became friends, she’s been more compassionate, more understanding of other ponies’ viewpoints and problems.” He sighed deeply. “More like her mother.”
He waved a hoof in the air. “No need to listen to an old stallion getting all maudlin on Hearts and Hooves Day. You go and have fun with your friends, alright? And remember you’re welcome in this house anytime.”
“Thanks, Mister Rich!” said Apple Bloom, trotting over to give him a quick hug. “I’ll see you later!”
Apple Bloom rejoined her friends in the front yard, and they set off towards Snails’s house. “So what do you two want to do after we drop off Snails and Silver Spoon, guys?” she asked Sweetie Belle and Gold Watch. “Go listen to the Hearts and Hooves Day concert in the park?”
“I kinda want to do something for Miss Cheerilee,” said Sweetie Belle, tapping a hoof on her chin thoughtfully. “She must be really lonely without a very special somepony on Hearts and Hooves Day, and she deserves one more than anypony else.”
“I know how that goes,” said Gold Watch. “Mother is always really sad on Hearts and Hooves Day, thinking about Father. I know she loved him, but it’s been almost four years now. I keep telling her that she needs to move on, but she won’t listen to me. Dad feels the same way.”
Sweetie Belle nodded glumly. “That’s really sad. I wish there were somepony who...” She trailed off for a moment, then gasped loudly. “That’s it! Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah, but remember what happened last time an Ursa Minor came into town? And I don’t think Pinkie Pie will let us borrow her party cannon,” said Snails.
The unicorn filly blinked. “Umm... no, not that! Miss Cheerilee and Mister Rich should be each other’s very special someponies!”
The others all gasped as well. “Sweetie Belle, you’re a genius!” said Apple Bloom. “They’d be perfect for each other! They’re both super smart and really hard working. And it’ll make them both so happy!”
“So... Mother and Mister Smiles?” said Gold Watch, pondering. “You’re right, they would be perfect for each other. How did I not think of this before? Okay, then! Snails and Silver Spoon, you go have fun on your date. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, you need to convince Miss Cheerilee to come to dinner at the mansion. I’ll go back and get the cook to set up something nice and romantic. This day is going to be perfect!”
Silver Spoon and Snails hugged the other three, wished them luck, and cantered off towards Snails’s house. Apple Bloom gave Gold Watch another long hug. “This really is perfect, Goldie. I bet you made a special Hearts and Hooves Day wish to come here and see me, huh?”
Gold Watch tilted his head to one side. “No... I should have! I assumed that you’d made some sort of wish so that Twilight Sparkle could open the portal. You didn’t?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Nope. Somepony must have, but who?”
Dusk Shine lay on a cushion over the packed dirt floor of the hut, the air heavy with incense from a faraway land. He leaned forward and lapped at the bowl of tea in front of him, savouring the taste as a pleasant warmth spread through his body. “I’ve never tasted this tea before, Zecora. Is it from a new herb?”
The zebra mare stretched out beside Dusk and sipped from the bowl herself, brushing the side of her head against his. “It is made from a plant named ‘Heart’s Desire’, sure to ignite a stallion’s fire,” she said, her voice low and almost hypnotic. “Long have I waited to share this brew, wishing for a stallion like you.”
“You are my heart’s desire,” murmured Dusk, turning to look into Zecora’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I must seem so forward to you. We only just met today, and...”
Zecora placed one hoof tenderly over Dusk’s mouth. “Do not regret your words, Dusk Shine. Our hearts already intertwine. Your Zircon is a friend most true, and so my mind you already knew. My heart waited but to see your face, when you came from your most distant place.”
Dusk tilted his head and pressed a tender kiss against Zecora’s grey fetlock. “I always knew I had a special connection with Zircon. Not the same as I have with Applejack, Butterscotch and the others, but something different. I wasn’t prepared for this, though.”
Zecora pushed her head forward and allowed Dusk Shine to stroke her striped mane. “This was surprising to me too, but I know that our love is true.” She closed her eyes and whickered softly at the contact, then wrapped one leg around Dusk’s neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
The young unicorn stallion returned the kiss eagerly, shifting his body closer to Zecora’s. Thank you, Prince Solaris, he thought, as he embraced his new lover. Best Hearts and Hooves Day wish ever.
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And that's it, everypony! Thanks for sticking around for the epilogue! It was a lot of fun to write.
I hope this has cleared up the loose ends of the last chapter. Apple Bloom and Gold Watch can visit each other from time to time now, so it's a bit of a long-distance relationship, but workable. They are young, though, so I'd like to think that the strong friendships they've formed are the most important outcome of their adventures.
That's all for this story, but I am planning a sequel! Next time, I will be writing specifically as a romance, rather than with a romance side-plot. It won't be starting for a while, as I have other stories to work on, but it is in the works, and I have already decided on a protagonist.
Thank you for all of your support and commentary! I've really enjoyed writing this story, and I'm glad you've enjoyed reading it.
Sweet thanks for the epilogue
1470295
1470295
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3345-1330646932156.gif
The CMC are the ones who are sad they have to wait.
Holy carp, I thought it was over!
Loved the ending with Zecora and Dusk Shine.
Was a great story, HopeFox. 
Twist ending!
I'm smiling too broadly. My face hurts now.
Great, great epilogue!
I mean, uhhhh... this shizz is friggin' rad. /pokerface
1470295 I only read this on FanFiction, and sense it was marked 'complete' I was left with the kind of 'depressing yet fucking awesome' ending.
This epilogue just made everything 20% less depressing and 200% more fucking awesome.
Thank you, dear sir. You have brightened up my day. 
Awesome update! I'm glad to kind of see things from the regular universe stand point for a change. It was so cute seeing Scootaloo and Snips together and having Rainbow Dash take them to Cloudsdale. And Snails making Silver Spoon swoon for making her favorite meal? What a cutie pie! And Zecora and Dusk? Twilight and Zircon?
Best epilogue ever!
Yes! Love this Epilogue, and MORE Zorses (or would they be Zonies? Pony and Zebras...hmm?) hehehe. Sorry, I just love the weird pony mixes.
Cheerilee and Filthy Rich...that I have to think about, but am not against it entirely.
Makes me wonder how the whole Gabby Gums adventure would be.
This world is now doomed or something, it's really wierd.... portal between world's so blah blah blah, I don't even.
I gusta-d... gusta-d all over myself...
Good ending. I approve!
Ah!!! The "unicorn conspiracy" is driving me crazy! You introduced the concept, but didn't go anywhere with it, and now I'm thinking all sorts of crazy scenarios like " Unicorns vs Earth ponies isn't as dire as Old money vs self-made ponies".
You are totally getting credit for that, though. I'm just upset because my own series is still too far from even referencing it.
Enough of that. I still love this story! Goes to show that a little detail can change the whole character dynamic... well, gender isn't technically 'little', but just that change flipped things on their heads.
Also, Zircon Sparkle/Zecora Shine is an interesting concept and should happen more often.
1470295 Even though it'd be kinda terrible for all involved (considering friendships, families, etc.), I'd almost like to see the two ABs switch again, so They can be with Tiara and Goldie, respectively. Also, come on, guys. "Gold n' Apple's Repair Shop" Just sounds so funny, especially since I'm a Minecraft geek.
I was not expecting an epilouge. Great job.
Well done! I look forward to reading more of your work
1472994
there is... sense in what he/she says...
1477664 I am a He.
I like how everyone is okay with a portal to a rule 63 world. It's actually hillariously in characther.
Except I don't think anyone goes "My widowed father and my teacher should date"...
1477943
sorry for dat slight misunderstanding, i just didn't wanna be one of those bronies that assume everyone is a guy in this fanbase(ovious exaggeration is obvious) and furthers everypony's conception that pegasisters are underappreciated
minecraft brohoof [ ]/)
1479645 Eh, it's alright. I completely understand covering your bases as such, I do it all the time.
Honestly, I could see the sequel being Applejack(Female) or Big Mac go into the other world and end up being replaced by the 63 version of themselves. I'd honestly enjoy an Jackity 63 story. (Applejack and Rarity) Seeing as they're paired so often. The new spin of it being a Male Applejack would be rather fresh.
A great post-ending chapter... just one thing...
'It would have been a box about so big, wrapped in butcher’s paper?”
wrapped in butcher’s paper?
butcher’s paper
butcher’s paper
butcher’s paper
butcher’s paper
A society of herbivores would use such a name for a type of paper? I mean, even if it carried over from Griffon society and/or invention, I still find it hard to believe the ponies would be OK with having such a word be commonplace.
God... damn... that was some of the most glorious reading I've ever done on this site. I... I could read this twice! Maybe even thrice! But not four times because that would be fucking weird. I love this story, it's so pillowsnuggle worthy! I'm glad that this was recommended to me! You keep on kicking ass, I'm looking forward to your sequel.
Loathe,
Your Antagonist
1495803 Hey, they raise those pigs for a reason.
In any case, a most satisfying conclusion. Especially when you consider that everyone's opposites are engaged in the same activities in the other world. Including Twilight and Zircon.
MEH. GUSTAAAAAAAAAA.
There´s nothing more to say than:
fim.413chan.net/fic/src/134012129530-sweetie_belle_that_i.jpg
Really.
My favorite part was definitely Apple Bloom´s letter to Princess Celestia.
You outdid the show there.
Simply great!
MY FEELS
Y U DO DIS
Loved it .
I thInk i'm developing a thing for foal shipping ... Is that bad?
1563239 only if you start down the dark path my friend
Hrrk...hold on while I restart my heart. This was absolutely fabulous, and such an adorable ending. Hats off to you sir, I'm very glad this was recommended to me a day or two ago. Rule 63 is best rule. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
Y CANT I HOLD ALL THESE SHIPS???
Regarding the Epilogue. It's terrible. First off, how can Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara be so close? Wouldn't things be a bit awkward considering each of them are dating the other in a parallel universe? How can things not be weird!? Diamond shoved her tongue down Apple Bloom's throat!
Also, why does Twilight have the hots for Zecora?
I liked the story, quite pleasant to read !
Two things , Applebloom is very oblivious not noticing Gold Watch si Diamond Tiara...
I know Gold Watch acts differently, but still.
And I don't know about Dusk Shine / Zecora... imo it seemed out of place, as it is in the story.
I would have understood if Dusk Shine was interested in Celestia...
Your point of view about Diamond Tiara's psychology was interesting.
There should be a group "On a cross and arrow"-verse
Thank you for writing this !
Oh Luna,so many song references!
'this day is going to be perfect'
'I wasn't prepared for this'
2381728 There is, there is! It will be a while in the works, but I am planning a sequel involving Big Macintosh crossing into the other world for love triangle drama.
2383550
MAKE IT HAPPEN
You know, I was hoping you'd salvage it in chapter 6, but the whole "matter of perspective/need to understand eachother" thing falls flat when their complaints are so imbalanced.
really, read chapters 5 and six again, the entirety of Gold Watch's side of the conflict with applebuck (and thus, DT's side of her conflict with Apple Bloom) consists of "some/most of my past attempts to cause you suffering backfired on me"
That is not a revelation that convinces me that hes really a decent guy, that is a sign of full blown Psychopathy.
Sweepy Bell makes it sound either like a tired pony talking in baby or he'll work with brooms in his life.
I like the story, that name was just kinda weird.
When reading a fanfiction, the reader enters a world enclosed within itself. Though it can and often is based on an already established fictional world such as MLP or Thomas the Tank Engine, each story is its own experience that shines its own light on the source material from its own perspective.
This story is an excellent example of that point. In fact, perspective is one of the central themes. This story's perspective claims that an alternate gender-swapping universe exists and apparently Princess Luna is in control of the portal to it. It would also seem that the destinies between the two universes are strongly tied together in some way. One might wonder if the Butterfly Effect could de-synchronize the two worlds, but that's a question for another day. We know nothing about the origin or meaning behind this alternate universe, but it serves its purpose as the mysterious "other world" that the title implies.
I find it interesting that a story based on perspective is viewed entirely from Apple Bloom's point of view. We see everything from her perspective, which allows us to accurately see how flawed it is in many cases. However, despite that we only know what Apple Bloom knows, there is impressively still a sense of dramatic irony in the story due to Apple Bloom's befuddling ignorance of Gold Watch's true identity.
After reading a great deal of this story, I was convinced that everypony was colorblind in this story's two universes until Apple Bloom confirmed it not to be true. Even if Apple Bloom didn't suspect Gold of being Diamond, I'd imagine seeing that color scheme of purple, pink, and white would cause her immediate negative flashbacks. Color is the first thing the eye is drawn to, which would make it ludicrous for that to go unnoticed, especially when coupled with the gray and white color scheme of Blue Chip. Speaking of Blue Chip, my colorblind theory went right in hand with him and Gold Watch. What sort of sadistic parents would name their children after colors that don't even appear on their bodies? That seems like the sort of thing that would throw the two universes out of sync due to the fact that ponies would ask about that fact in the 2nd world but not in the first. That's the way I see it anyway.
You made quite a number of good parallels between the two worlds. Twilight and Dusk seemed believably identical, though the romance with Zircon seemed odd to only be happening on one side. Applejack was possibly too identical seeing as how I kept forgetting she was a he throughout most of the story. Elusive came across as a Rarity, particularly when he went on about how sophisticated Sweetie Belle must be. Bubble Berry seemed as invasive and adored-by-all as one would expect. Butterscotch was really only in this story by reference, which oddly enough worked very well for his character. As for the rest of the characters, I thought the Mr./Mrs. Cake mix was a humorous little gag, and Sugar/Spice was some excellent name swapping there. I'm surprised I've never seen it before.
This story had a very thick coating of romance surrounding it. It's not really my area of expertise or interest, but I enjoyed the very casual approach to the romance. The story was very physical in the sense that everyone seemed to have a compulsive urge to either nuzzle or tackle someone at all times. However, there wasn't a great deal of emphasis on blushing, heartbeat-skipping, and other more gratuitous romance elements. The romance was kept simple and innocent with more emphasis on the relationship than the feelings. Even though their feelings were there from the start, Apple Bloom and Gold Watch got to know each other before their date. Personally, I think that creates a much more substantial and believable pairing than one consumed by raw feelings and passion.
If I had to criticize one thing about this story, it would be the conflict. This story seems to exist on Super Happy Island, and the only real conflict seems to come from someone grabbing hold of the Conflict Ball. Other than the main conflict between Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara, we have three other key conflicts in this story: Apple Bloom stuck in a parallel world, the fight between Scooteroll/Gold Watch, and Apple Bloom learning Gold Watch = Diamond Tiara. The first conflict couldn't really even be called a conflict. Everyone accepted it so quickly I probably would have forgotten she was in a parallel world without the gender swapping as a consistent reminder. I think it should have taken a bit more time for everyone to accept it, particularly at the end.
The second conflict was something of a rare occurrence. I saw it as a Double Conflict Ball moment. Gold Watch starting a fight really seemed like something to happen for the sake of Apple Bloom getting mad at both of them, and that aspect led to a pretty immediate turnaround in the next chapter. The actual reason for it happening was believable enough in that they were looking for an excuse to fight, but Apple Bloom's reaction to it robbed it of some of its credibility. Her logic of "Gold Watch should let us fight if we want to" to "I can't believe they're fighting" didn't really hit the mark for me.
The last one seemed like another case of conflict ball, but it did serve the purpose of setting up the conclusion, so I can accept it for what it is.
Basically, the conflict was a bit lacking both in genuineness and prevalence. Apple Bloom instantly wanted everyone to be friends after the first day, and she achieved her objective with very little effort on her part. It wasn't really seeing Apple Bloom overcome her struggle as much as it was seeing Apple Bloom untangle some partially tangled cords. Apple Bloom had no trouble with any "he/she" flubs between the world switching, she found no real flaws in Gold Watch other than he was Diamond Tiara, and it really seemed like you could have done something with that "Powerful Unicorn Conspiracy".
I honestly liked the casual "everyday" feel you used in this story. It made the alternate universe seem more relaxed and less foreign. I just think you made it a bit too perfect and happy. I think it could use a bit more spicing up.
One thing I would like to congratulate you on, however, is the resolution to the conflict. A strong resolution is something I really look for in a story, and this certainly had one. Despite the lack of conflict, this story had a superb payoff. Not only did it provide an exceptional moral with a phenomenal tie-in to the story's title, but the use of the Celestia letter was so spectacular that I saw the montage of events that took place while it was being read. Even better, you tied the whole thing back to the Celestia-Luna relationship, and while it was not the focus of the story, it served to represent how universal the message truly is.
This story's good. Though it's a bit lacking in the conflict area, it more than makes up for it with its interesting use of gender swapping, its casual everyday feel, and its powerful ending. I'd call it a bag of gummi worms. A bit squishy, but let them sit on your tongue long enough and they're absolutely amazing.
Make the most!
2509741 Eeyup.
I like the idea of having things happen in parallel in the "original" world, but having them happen in lockstep was too much IMO. In-story, there are gender differences (Blue Chip feeling he should be the one to ask Spice out, or Sugar or whoever, because he's the guy), yet presumably Diamond Tiara was the one to ask out Applebuck. DT and S'loo break each others' bones just like GW and S'roll. They even do the old "wave your hand at the man in the mirror waving his hand".
I would like more please.
Can someone name every alternate version of everyone plz
3098951Twiligt Sparkle=Dusk Shine Rainbow dash=Rainbow Blitz Rarity=Elusive Pinkie Pie=Bubble Berry Futtershy=Butterscotch
Scootaloo=Scootaroll Sweetie Bellie= Sweepy Beelie Apple Bloom=Applebuck Silverspoon=Blue Chip DT=Goldwatch Snips=Sugar Snalls=Spice
AppleJack=AJ (Basiclly there is no change in the name) Filthy Rich=Greasy Lucre Zecora=Zircon Celestia=Solarus Luna=Artimeas Shining Armor=Shimering Shield Bon Bon=Barbar Big Macantosh=Red Gala Spike=Spines or Barb
Lyra=Harpsy ( Those are all the Rule 63 Names I remember I forgot R63 Cadance And Luna's counter part might be wrong and I rushed so sorry for any mistakes )