• Member Since 6th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 23rd, 2016

HopeFox


T

Shining Armor is Captain of the Royal Guard, and has no time for making friends, unlike his social butterfly sister. But when the Mare in the Moon threatens to return to the world, making friends may be his only hope to save Equestria.

An alternate universe fanfic featuring Shining Armor and five other stallions of exceptional character.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 182 )

Excellent concept, allow me to be the first to fave this. This should be good.

sounds epic gonna give it a read.

Interested and falowing

Interesting take, not one I've seen done before, fav and tracking.

Is big mac one of the stalions who's going to defeat nightmare moon or maybe the doctor

Very nice plot reversal here. I have a feeling that this setting would be more suitable for younger boys since they like to sword fight and play hard and stuff. Was that your intention?:trixieshiftright:

Anyway, this is why I love AUs. They're so fun to read.:twilightsmile:

I'm intrigued! I love alternate Elements stories, and I haven't seen one with this idea before. The Flipverse comes closest with three stallions and three mares, but all stallions? That's gonna be fun. ^^

2380118

There's only like six stallions in the show, we could probably guess them all right now. XD

Great idea! These alternate mane 6 stories never get old. Hope this gets featured! :twilightsmile:

Why did it take so long for someone to think of this version?! To the Broverse!! Bro's! Bro's! Bro's!

2380118 2380303 It's a bit like that, yeah! I especially had trouble finding two named pegasus stallions, since I want the same tribal balance as canon. I won't give away too much just yet, but yeah, Big Macintosh is a foregone conclusion, being the big brother of one of the main characters of the show. :eeyup:

2380238 That's sort of the idea, yeah. There will certainly be a few fight scenes on the way to defeat Nightmare Moon, and the role of the Equestrian military is quite expanded here. (Mind you, it's still "fantasy military" - there's no way Hawkeye would have gotten away with backtalking his superior officer like that in a real military.) It should end up having a tone between that of "My Little Pony" and "G.I. Joe", if I were trying to sell toys or something. :twilightsmile:

Well, I'd hazard to guess Blueblood'll be one of them. Based one that comment about royal duty, I'll say either Loyalty or Generosity, with a 2:1 on Loyalty.

I think the thing where Celestia realizes that Twi already knows about friendship and considers it a problem is a little weak. There's nothing that says the pony in question has to realize the importance of friendship when it happens. And she could be another element if not magic

2381052
I'll take that bet, i personally think that Big Mac will be loyalty.

Am I the only one thinking that even if this is Shining Armor's first encounter with the magic of friendship, he's so deeply committed to his military role that he might make a better Element of Loyalty than anything?

Also I agree that Celestia suddenly realizing that Twilight Sparkle has lots and lots of friends is a bit weird. If having experienced the magic of friendship too long before encountering the Elements does disqualify a potential wielder from the Element of Magic, then it seems like a significant breach of character for Celestia to both a) have let her number one candidate drop out of the running like that, and b) only realize that she's done so and prepare an alternate course of action the night before the Summer Sun Celebration. She's always seemed much more knowledgeable and careful than that in the show- even when she looks like she's making mistakes (A Canterlot Wedding) or being mysteriously unaware of problems (Swarm of the Century) there's that subtle feeling that she does know everything and is only playing dumb for someone else's benefit.

This Princess Azure thing is definitely interesting, though. I think I'll follow this story for the behind-the-scenes bits of the AU being set up, if nothing else.

You know, I had this idea for a while (mind you, I'd switch Shining and Blueblood's roles, but still), but I was too lazy to do anything about it and hoped someone else would act upon the idea. You my friend, made my vision come true.

I like the sound of the Bro-verse. So if we have the main universe M!verse, and the Lunaverse L!verse, does that make this the B!verse?

Faved and followed and looking forward to more. :pinkiehappy:

This is off to a very promising start.

2384260

Imagine a three-way crossover. We've already got M! and L!. We could see M! and B!. So...

images.sodahead.com/polls/003385533/4013450711_30434475_answer_3_xlarge.png

2384733 Heh. You should hear how much work RainbowDoubleDash is going through just writing Crisis on Two Equestrias, expanding it more would certainly break the back of the multiverse. (which comics do every 4-10 years anyway...)

2384752

Hey, if you're gonna break reality on a world which may or may not exist in the multiverse which may or may not exist, don't half-ass it.

Hehe, this looks like it's gonna be a hoot and a half. Looking forward to more! :twilightsmile:

2381244 I'm on the side of Blueblood as Loyalty, but I bet Big Mac will turn out to surprisingly be Kindness. It'd be hilolz if Doctor Whooves / Time Turner was Laughter, what with the manic grin the Doctor always seems to have, but I'm not holding out TOO much hope for that longshot, ahaha. :raritywink:

Blueblood: Element of harmony, still an ass. No surprise there.

…Carry on.:pinkiesmile:

I thought you’d figured that one out years ago, about the same time you found out that all the Hearth’s Warming Eve presents were really from Mum and Dad.”

Not to sound like a punk, or anything, but the fact is, the majority of these characters all speak with American accents. Therefore, "Mum" should be said as "Mom."

But on the other hoof, this is a great premise with strong storytelling so far. I just kind of wish the prose were a tad stronger. Your use of writing devices pales greatly in comparison to your storytelling chops, resulting in a mixture of great story versus weak writing. I'd be happy to give you pointers if you're interested.

Amazing. Truly amazing.

I'd give it 100 out of 5 moustaches, just because of how awesome this is. :D

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: x5

cadence is princess celestias niece... not her daughter WRONG :flutterrage:

Where's the "Make-It-Update-Now" button gone?

Oh hell yeah. An alt-verse with Shining instead of Twilight, with a FotA influenced Blueblood for good measure? Fav'ed so hard it left a dent. Have a thumb and a follow as well.

Oh wow - lots of good ideas here :twilightsmile:

Definitely faving :yay:

very VERY interesting idea. If you will finish this story I will love till the end of times.

Well this is an interesting twist.

If Shining Armor is fulfilling Twilight's role in this universe, does that mean Twilight is going to end up marrying Princess Cadance instead? :rainbowlaugh:

I’m going to go find out about this prophecy of hers, and then give her a piece of my mind!

:rainbowlaugh:

jummm this looks interesting... but if the other stallions are OC's im not reading it

Very, VERY interesting twist on the standard story here, faved so hard I had to unstick my cursor from the fave button. "I swear to drunk I'm not Princess Celestia." Yeah, sure you are, Twilight, sure you are :rainbowlaugh: That line just took the cake for me. Can't wait to see how the rest of this goes!

Thanks for all the great support, guys! I really didn't expect this to hit the featured box, and I'm very excited about getting the next chapter done!

2381151 That's a fair criticism. I tried a few different ideas with that scene, but nothing else worked for me. I considered making Shining Armor explicitly Celestia's protégé, as her personal bodyguard or something, but I decided that that would be too close a copy of canon. I do have an explanation for Celestia's reasoning that Twilight had "too many friends" to be the Element of Magic, but it will have to come near the end of the story.

2381245 Also fair, and yes, I did have trouble with that scene. I will note that Twilight isn't Celestia's personal student here, so that does make a difference. I'm glad you like the AU details - there will be more next chapter!

2384260 I guess Bro-verse does roll off the tongue better than Big-Brother-Verse!

2389782 Thank you! Yeah, I can't praise Ponydora Prancypants's depiction of Blueblood highly enough. It's the best rendition I've seen that gives him depth of character and heroism, but doesn't wave away his unpleasant qualities.

2392316 Now that you mention it... it has long been my headcanon that Twilight has or had a massive crush on Cadance, and that may still be the case here. :twilightblush: I have plans for Shining and Cadance for the sequel, though, if I get that far.

2393304 I can assure you that all six of the prospective Elements of Harmony are named on the show, and have at least one line of dialogue. :twilightsmile:

2394275 Thank you! I shall try not to disappoint!

You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.

Wow, this sounds like it's gonna be fun! :rainbowwild:

This WILL BE GOD-TIER EPIC.
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My Perdos fo the 6
Blueblood
Shining Armor
Fancypants
Big Mac
Dr. Whooves
Thunderlane

My bets:
Magic- Shining Armor (Kind of a given, but I'll likely be wrong)
Generosity- Blueblood (He said he'd sacrifice for his royal duties)
Honesty- Big Macintosh (Perfect guy for the blunt yes, blunt no, and brutal honesty moments)
Laughter- Soarin' (The voice of Matt Hill. Instant laughter.)
Kindness- Tough call, but Doctor Whooves. (How much strife does he go through to help people in the source material?)
Loyalty- This one's interesting. If we're keeping the same tribal balance (two unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies each) then I'll have to go for Thunderlane, as UltiXevoz proposed. If the tribal balance is upset, my bits are bet on Braeburn, of all ponies.

2388475 Artistic license.

Great first chapter... can't wait for the update!

Two Unicorns
Shining Armor
Prince Blueblood

Two Pegasus
Soarin
Thunderlane

Two Earth ponies
Big Macintosh
Caramel or Dr Whooves

Elements:
Shining Armor - magic

Prince Blueblood - loyalty (to his family and as a member of the royal family he knows his duty to Equestria)
Or
generosity (1. we don't know if he's actually a selfish guy maybe he was trying to scare away Rarity since mares only want to be with him because he's a Prince. 2. He might give money to poor pony less fortunate as him and probably cut off his tail for the purple sea serpent. And he's the only I can see him saying "I can not have this crime against fabulosity go uncorrected!" or a way to make it manly. iI just can't believe someone related to Celestia can be that crude)

Soarin - laughter (at the gala Soarin strikes me as a funny guy)

Thunderlane - generosity (we don't know much about this is sort of last resort)
Or
loyalty - (well he tried to commit to create a tornado in "Hurrican Fluttershy" but got ill and He along with other pegasi ponies where following there orders and helped Rainbow Dash to save her friends in "Wonderbolts Academy")
yeah since I don't know much about Thunderlane he's a last resort opinion

Big Macintosh - honesty (the whole apple family are an honest bunch)

Caramel or Dr Whooves - kindness both of them (Caramel stikes me as kind when he tried to help out in "Winter Wrap Up" but acciently lost the seeds) and Dr Whooves well human dr who's are all kind and help those in need

Loving where the story is going! Keep it up ;)

I am really looking forward to this, especially with the restriction you placed on yourself of only using Canon characters, as opposed to OCs. I am looking forward to Cadance's interactions with Shining, what with Blueblood being a tad more protective of her than seen in other fics. Trying to think of a second Pegasus in Ponyville who would make sense to be there is quite the challenge (Thunderlane being a given in my mind but I could be wrong) and I am looking forward to being surprised. Hope to see an update soon.

CIA

blog.theregularguynyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/frat-bro-dan-meme-06.jpg
And then this story was released!
And now for how shining is dealing with cadance.
global3.memecdn.com/edgar-allen-bro_o_200558.jpg
Just without the whole calling her a bitch part.

I promised Moondancer I’d dance with her, and I don’t want her to drag me back there by my tail.

Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Moondancer and... My sister!

Oh snap!


And these constant suggestions for Doctor Whooves... If he's a time lord, I'll downvote this faster than... Something really fast, because I'm sick of everything turning into a bloody Doctor Who crossover!

Thus are my two cents on the matter.

Sir, I salute you.
Not only are you going against norm that most of the mains are heroines (except self insert OC that then get harem), but you plan to gather 6 canon originating from show where there are hardly any stalions to begin with.

Just don't make them sparkle ;).

Edit after reading:
Well that was interesting. One thing I didn't like was that Shining was allready set with Cadance within seconds of the story. Since its AU it might be better to have Shining with no real romance and have it develop in ponyville.
As for Cadance, didn't like her that much in the show and here she is like a spoiled princess that uses her family connections to get what she wants.

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