• Member Since 14th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen February 16th

LordBrony2040


(Insert witty comment here)

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Rainbow Dash is feeling like a total loser. The town has forgotten about her, her biggest fan is into this new hero, and her friends are laughing at her pain. But instead of confronting this Mare Do Well at her parade, Dash decides to just go and sulk at home before heading off to bed.

Sure she’s feeling down and abandoned, but that’s no big deal. It’s not like there’s some kind of creature in Equestria that can feed off a pony's pain and loneliness to turn them into monsters, right?

…oh wait.

Cover art provided by Dragonmasteralex

Canceled as of 8/3/2014

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 54 )

Wow...Thats a super Dick move...like kicking a guy in the crotch and beating him whilst he's down

This is.... this is bad ass. Might I add that I'm actually down the middle tbh. I understand what they were trying to get at and I also believe they could've done it SOOOO much better than what they did.

I adore this. I will pay you all 44 cents that I have in my piggy bank to continue this. The verbal bitch slapping was just priceless. And even better, they just infuriated the Mayor who can, perfectly legally, make their lives hell. Everything from "You're fired, we're getting a new librarian" to "Applejack! Surprise audit! Get your books."

Though I think Fluttershy might technically live outside of Ponyville's borders.

Also: "If it wasn’t for her being all bigheaded, then nothing would have happened.” Applejack needs another slap upside the head. Snips and Snails did it because AJ and the others were heckling someone they admired. So really, its AJ and Dash's fault if we're just going to keep spreading guilt up the chain.

I actually did like the Mare Do Well episode. It could have been done much, much better, but I do like it. And I love your take on it.

Oh and you used 'loosing' in place of 'losing' in one point.

This is awesome can't wait for more!!

*claps* You go, Mayor. You go.

I really, really, enjoyed this chapter. It was well written, I liked the world building between RD and Rarity's past, but mostly it summed up a lot of things that I did not like about the 'Mare Do Well,' episode. I look forward to more friendship letters as well as story chapters.

Very well written. I could see the show version of Rarity writing that if MLP was a bit more adult.

Also, its nice to see Marshmallow Pony get kicked in the flank emotionally.

This was another awesome chapter, it is one of those rare times when all you can say 'oh....' and realize how valuable your friends emotions are thank you for a brilliant chapter

so when's the next chapter due? is there a regular schedule, or is it just whenever they get done?

4204835

This is more of a side project than anything else. I have it all planned out, it's just going to be a long time between updates since I have to be in a bad place mentally to write any pony evil.

4204849 ouch, sorry you have to be in a bad mind set to write this. now i'm torn between wanting this continued, and wanting you to cancel it and never go back to a bad mind set.

Where's the dun, dun, dun! when you need one?

I can't wait for her to beat Discord into dust. :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiehappy: :yay:

4652982 wow I can't believe all of them kicked your dick...
*squeal*

Looks like Applejack is suffering from Tall poppy syndrome. Either that, or she's really annoyed that she works all day for a mere 'thank you' and Rainbow sleeps all day, saves a few people, and gets a big cheer from everyone around there.

Maybe both.

I have no words... Please update this.

Gee Twilight...You don't know anything about Pegasus ponies making thunder clouds, yet you read enough books to convince yourself Rainbow Dash is somehow going to endanger the town because she was bragging, and not acting like the heroes from your books? You need to get in tune with reality, girl!

And...I admit to not understanding Applejack. She also believed Rainbow Dash would stoop as low to endanger the town, and kept saying she deserved to be humiliated. Just..whats with her?

Oh man...Twilight and Applejack are going to be screwed to the wall by Celestia when she gets the letter, as they're the only ones who tried to force something onto Rainbow for stupid reasons, such as her behavior to being a hero NOT BEING LIKE IT IS IN A BOOK! :flutterrage:

I'll be honest about my opinion. This story paints a more... realistic, shall we say, picture of the aftermath of the whole Mare Do Well debacle. Not much, mind you, but still noticeable. The whole thing had a far greater likelihood of screwing everything up, big time. And they all believed it would work as they expected when they got started with the whole thing. What folly. I wash my hands of their idiocy, and choose to remain detached as I read further installments of this tale.


Never thought I'd delve into that cold professionalism again...

Boy...Once Celestia and Luna find out about Rainbow's condition, and get the letters from Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy confessing on what they had done to her, and make the connection that it was Applejack and Twilight's desire to teach Rainbow a lesson simply because they were annoyed by her( And the others going along with it and not realizing the truth) that led to her being corrupted, the bearers of Honesty and Magic are going to be so screwed.

Speaking of which, what happened with the necklace of Loyalty?

And lastly: I don't think finding out the truth will help Rainbow, because it wasn't just trying to teach her to be humble, it was a betrayal of her trust

4204849

CANCELLED?!

SON OF A ( Due to the foul language we had to censor the following comments, we apologize for the inconvenience.)

wow, Looks like the Mayor of Ponyville really showed them how wrong they were. So now Dash made a deal with the Nightmare, well really awesom and dark Twist. The logic behind is really good, you really tought it trough

well very intersting letter or Rarity, well done, Keep going

I really love the concept this story, and it is a shame that you cancelled it so soon into the story,

However, considering your success with your more recent story Mare Do Well:Fallout , I believe that now is a good time to revive this story, or at least start from scratch with the same concept. I see you have come far in the art of the pen, and I wish that you would give this story a second chance.

-Jesspegasister

4740595 But sadly we will never find out now. Wait, a betrayal you say?

Cancelled?
WHYYYYYYY
His story was awesome :applecry: :fluttercry: :fluttershbad: :fluttershysad: :raritycry: :raritydespair: :fluttercry: :fluttercry: :fluttercry:
None of these really say how sad I am, I was wondering if you would give me your permission to copy the first chapter so I can finish it? I have lots of ideas and when I finish it you could put it back on your channal :pinkiesmile:

Comment posted by King of Kings deleted Dec 17th, 2014

4204849 hey, i just came back to read this story again, and i found it cancelled! is it really cancelled?

y is this story cancelled?! I LOVED it! Please please PLEASE tell me you will continue this story soon! :fluttercry::applecry::raritycry::ajsleepy:

5527423 That's my hope, too.

Placing it Tracking, as well as Faving and upvoting it...just in case.

I was really Tickled that Nightmare shines like gold upon a sea of Chaos, and that dash decided to walk the path of destruction together.
Alas It is unfortunate this will not go further.

I wonder what a romance between a male pony oc and nightmare Rainbow dash be like now.

Well, can shame it was cancelled. Can shame. :fluttercry:

9009460
It is, it had potential to go the distance.

Is there gonna be a remake

9842693
if you do, then send me a link, cause l would love to read more of it

It’s not like there’s some kind of creature in Equestria that can feed off a pony's pain and loneliness to turn them into monsters

If you have seen musescript’s “the heart’s shell” you would understand that this guy just described a demon foal, even though he never knew about the audio drama at the time, heck this was made years before the audio drama had even realized it’s first episode

Is it me or are the mane 6 hypocrites?

Is it me or does it sound like rarity being a hypocrite, because she knew about the plan, so she can’t blame twilight or AJ. Also, why did this get cancelled?

10362212
I know what a shame. This is pretty good.

10845929
No clue. maybe he out there. But I don't know who he is and what made him give up on what was a good start to a good story.

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