The Brilliant Void
Slurp
The sound echoed off the walls of the otherwise silent dining room. Celestia’s ear twitched, but she kept her face buried in the report she held. She lifted a small morsel of fruit salad to her lips—
Slurp
Celestia let her fork fall. She looked up from the monthly treasury statement and glared across the table at a floating newspaper. A slight rustling could be heard along with the clink of a cup being set down. Rolling her eyes, Celestia returned her gaze to the scroll.
Sluuuuuuuurrp
Sighing, Celestia threw the scroll to the table. She looked down her nose at her sister. “Is there something you wish to say, Princess Luna?”
Wide-eyed, Luna glanced up from her paper. “Why no, Princess Celestia. Whatever do you mean?”
“You seem to insist on making noise tonight. Perhaps you should make it constructively,” Celestia said.
Luna shrugged, taking another slurp of her coffee. “It’s not my fault that all our cups have an irritatingly long lip on them. It makes them difficult to drink from.”
Looking at the cups in question, Celestia noticed the Solar emblem emblazoned on them. She could see that all of the dishes had the eight-pointed sun carved, painted, or stained into the china. “Perhaps we can order a set of cups with a darker color scheme, then? Maybe they will have a more sensible lip to drink from. Would that please her Highness?”
Luna’s eyes twinkled over the small cup. “It would please her Highness greatly. We might also order them somewhat larger. These teacups don’t hold enough coffee.”
“Noted.” Celestia nodded at one of the attendants. “Now, may I eat the rest of my dinner in peace?”
“Certainly, dear Tia. I am ever so sorry for disturbing you,” Luna said. Despite Luna’s efforts, Celestia caught the hint of a grin before the newspaper covered Luna’s face entirely.
“Thank you.” Celestia picked up the scroll again, the corners of her mouth curling slightly upward.
The sound of somepony shouting echoed from the hall. Celestia pushed her dinner aside, blowing a heavy sigh. “What now?” She could only make out every other word, but the voice sounded like…
“Is that Twilight?” Luna asked.
As Twilight drew closer, her words grew easier to make out. “I don’t care if a dozen assassins wait for me behind those doors! If you follow me in, you’re in danger. Now get going back to your barracks, and if you ever touch me again, I’ll turn the two of you into statues so you can guard the palace garden!”
Celestia and Luna barely had time to exchange a shocked glance before Twilight threw the dining room doors open. She stomped in, pausing only to slam the doors in the faces of two thunderstruck guards.
Grumbling, Twilight sat down at the end of the table. She brought both hooves to her head, kneading her skull as she muttered, “Ugh… I can’t believe this. I’m really going to need to put my hoof down about this sort of thing.”
Giving Luna a ‘let me handle this’ warning glance, Celestia settled into an easy smile. Luna raised an eyebrow but nodded in affirmation.
Turning her attention to Twilight, Celestia spoke in a soft tone, “Twilight, what troubles you this evening?”
Twilight peered around the dining room, glaring at the guards. “Nothing,” she grumbled, stabbing a grape.
Celestia’s smile fell. At her nod, the guards marched smartly out of the dining room. Twilight’s eyes followed them as they passed the head of the table. As the sound of clopping hooves faded, Celestia’s frown deepened. “Now, Twilight, what exactly was all that about?”
Twilight took a deep breath. After holding it for several seconds, she let it out in a slow sigh. “I… cannot… believe the nerve of these ponies. I caught a few guards ‘admiring’ me a few weeks ago. I didn’t think much of it until I had that backlash accident with the extrasensory enchantment last week.”
“Oooh, I’ve done that before. I saw far more than I needed to that weekend,” Luna said, wincing. “On the upside, I think I really cut down on guard/staff fraternization.”
Twilight nodded, pointing wildly at Luna with a hoof. “Yeah, see! Luna knows! Practically every single guard I’ve talked to, walked past, or flown over has been staring at me.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Twilight, I understand why you’re upset, but”—
“That’s not all!” Twilight said, slamming a hoof down on the table. “I had Gold Standard in Court today trying to convince me to lower his taxes. This is the third time this month he’s tried to get me to show him favoritism!”
Celestia sighed, an ache beginning to form in her temple. “Twilight, I’ve received at least a thousand proposals from various poni”—
“And to top it all off,” Twilight shouted, “I received a report today on the national crime rate. Have you seen the numbers? What’s wrong with these ponies?”
Red-faced and panting, Twilight stared at Celestia. Closing her eyes, Celestia rubbed her head with a hoof.
“Well? Aren’t you going to say something?” Twilight asked.
“Twilight, I understand how you feel. I’ve often felt the same way, but it’s just part of life for us in these times,” Celestia said.
“We’ve also improved our crime reporting services recently.” Luna nodded. “That probably has something to do with the rise in the crime rate.”
Twilight stared, open-mouthed. “I can’t believe it. How are you two okay with this?”
“You know, she may have a point, Tia,” Luna said. “I’ve often wished we had some sort of way to screen out the greedy or ridiculous proposals.”
Celestia winced at the thought. “That would certainly go over well with the nobles. Nearly all of them would be sent away at the door.”
The left corner of Luna’s mouth curved into a smirk. “We wouldn’t have to send them away. We could just send them to Twilight; then they’ll never dare to come back.”
“Hey!” Twilight said, her ears flattening.
Luna stuck her tongue out at Twilight. “The new princess gets the dirty jobs,” she said in a sing-song voice.
Twilight glared daggers at the two giggling sisters. “This. Isn’t.funny! It’s horrible!”
“Oh come now, Twilight, aren’t you being a bit dramatic?” Luna said, rolling her eyes.
Ignoring her headache, Celestia forced what she hoped was a calming smile. “Yes, you’re just a bit stressed out from the day you’ve had. You need some time to calm down and a little sleep, that’s all.”
“NO! No amount of sleep will solve the very real problem of all of this… this… ergh I don’t even know!” Twilight cast about frantically. Her face lighting up, Twilight pointed triumphantly out of the window. “It’s like that!”
Celestia and Luna followed her hoof with their eyes. “It’s like a window?” Celestia asked, head tilted to the side.
“No, it’s like the night sky,” Twilight said.
“It’s beautiful and awe-inspiring?” Luna offered, her half-lidded eyes twinkling over her grin.
“No!” Twilight exclaimed, gesturing wildly around her. “It’s like being surrounded by nothing but darkness with only a few points of light scattered around! There are so many selfish and dishonest ponies in Equestria. I never knew it was this serious.”
“Hmm,” Luna said, holding a hoof to her chin, “like the night sky, you say.”
Celestia gave Twilight a sympathetic look. “Twilight, I know it’s hard to adjust to the life of a princess when most of your experience with ponies comes from a small, quiet town like Ponyville. I imagine it’s come as quite a shock. Dealing with all of this has become commonplace for Luna and me.” Celestia stood. “Come, walk with me. We’ll talk about it.”
“Actually, I have a better idea,” Luna declared. “I think I have just the thing for our budding princess here. Follow me, Twilight.” Luna stood, stretching her forehooves out in front of her like a cat, and began trotting toward the exit.
“Er… Luna? What might this ‘idea’ be?” Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Trust me, Tia. I have the perfect idea to relieve stress. It works for me all the time.” Pushing open the dining room doors, Luna beckoned Twilight with a nod of her head.
Twilight trotted outside, raising an eyebrow as she passed Luna.
Celestia narrowed her eyes at Luna. Cocking her head to the side, she mouthed, “Relieve stress?” at her grinning sister.
“If you need us, Tia, we’ll be in my bedroom,” Luna said.
Celestia’s eyes grew wide at that. She raised a hoof to halt Luna, but before she could voice her protests, Luna shut the doors.
Biting her lip, Celestia’s gaze flicked between the doorjamb and the scroll still lying on the table. After a moment, she decided to trust in Luna’s judgment. Celestia sat back down and pulled the scroll toward her.
“We’re… going to your bedroom?” Twilight’s voice quavered. “We’re not going to… uhm…”
Wide-eyed, Luna tilted her head to the side. “Not going to what?”
“I-I don’t think I’m ready to do certain… things,“ Twilight muttered, tapping her front hooves together and glancing around the corridor. The hallway was entirely vacant except for her and Luna, but Twilight couldn’t shake the fear of being overheard.
“Oh, don’t be silly, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said, ruffling Twilight’s mane, “We’re going to have an excellent time, you’ll see. I have the perfect thing to relax you.” Luna pranced down the hall toward her chambers.
Twilight followed, eyes still darting around the empty corridor.
Arriving at her room, Luna threw open the double doors and strode inside. Twilight made a point of not looking at the Lunar Guards standing to attention. “Could you close that, Twilight?”
“Oh! Uh… sure.” The doors were temporarily engulfed in a purple aura as they swung closed. Twilight turned around to find that Luna had vanished. Scanning the room, she noticed Luna’s closet door ajar. Twilight called warily from across the room, “Are you… trying to find something to wear?”
Twilight leaned forward, ears turning this way and that. She could hear muttering and rustling coming from inside the closet. She decided she should speak up before anything weird happened. “Uh… look, Luna, I”—
A loud squeak interrupted Twilight. She could see ghostly blue light streaming into the bedroom from inside the closet. Luna poked her head out. “Sorry, Twilight, did you say something?”
Twilight’s mouth hung open, frozen in an awkward confession. Leaning to the left to try and peer into the closet, she muttered, “Oh, uh, nothing important.”
Luna hesitated for a moment before waving Twilight forward with a hoof. “Come on, Twilight, we need to keep this door shut as much as possible. I don’t want anypony finding its location.” Now more curious than ever, Twilight trotted through Luna’s closet into a narrow passageway.
Once Twilight was through, Luna shut and locked the door. Twilight could feel subtle protective enchantments re-engage as the lock clicked back into place. Turning, Luna led Twilight down the narrow path.
Twilight’s hooves clip-clopped on the tile floor. Her eyes were drawn to the source of the pale light. Wall brackets containing small, glowing crystals lined the corridor. “Wow,” Twilight whispered, “I haven’t seen these since Celestia let me into the Star Swirl the Bearded wing.”
Luna nodded. “I assume you understand their significance?”
“They’re Absorbing Sconces. Most ponies who see them think they’re used because they give off light without the risk of fire, but that’s only part of the reason.” Twilight stepped forward, placing the tip of her horn against the passage wall. She drew back as if burned. “They were invented by Ley Font in the seven-hundreds. It was actually pretty interesting. Swarms of flocusts kept draining the structural enchantments in Stalliongrad, so they needed a way to hide powerful magic. These Sconces soak up the latent ripples in the magical field, hiding what they surround from prying horns.” Twilight rubbed her horn, wincing slightly.
“Indeed.” Luna’s horn glowed as Twilight followed her. “The flocusts proved quite a pestilence. If Tia or I flew anywhere within ten miles of Stalliongrad, we would attract the swarm.” Luna’s ears flattened. “They leached out magic away. The sun did not set for several days before we found a way to repel them.”
“In terms of magical sensitivity, they can detect complexity ranges above and below what ponies can. The Sconces were created to absorb everything, no matter the spectrum,” Twilight said, remaining fixated on the crystals. “The Star Swirl the Bearded wing only has a dozen or so.” Twilight’s eyes widened as they turned a corner to reveal another hallway lined with brackets. “To need this many…”
“The enchantment I will show you is powerful, but do not worry.” A smile flickered across Luna’s face. “It does wonders for stress.”
Turning a few corners, they stood outside a simple wooden door. Several rough-hewn boards set into the walls held a variety of knickknacks and unenchanted items. A small stockpile of candles lay on one of the shelves.
Twilight looked askance at Luna. “How will Celestia find us in here? You told her we were heading to your room.”
“Hmm? Oh, don’t worry Twilight. I have some trigger spells set up to inform her of our location if she comes looking for us. Never fret.” Luna reached out with a hoof. Grasping the handle, Luna turned it and threw the door open. Holding her head high, Luna gestured with a wing. “Enter, Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to my sanctuary.”
Twilight shuffled her hooves. Everything before entering Luna’s closet had been almost jovial. Twilight hadn’t anticipated dark rooms and secret passageways. Speaking of dark rooms…
Twilight gazed through the doorway into nothingness. The real, physical world ended at the door frame. Oppressive darkness shrouded the room. Twilight poked her head into the void, turning it in every direction. She backed away from the door.
“Are you sure it’s safe?” Twilight asked, shuddering slightly.
“Of course.” Luna’s voice carried a small note of pain. “I would not bring you needlessly into danger.”
Looking down at her hooves, Twilight said, “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, but”—Twilight pointed into the darkness with a hoof—“there’s nothing in there. No floor or walls or… or anything! We’ll just fall, won’t we?”
“The walls, floor, and ceiling of this room are under an enchantment, Twilight,” Luna said, gazing into the impenetrable blackness. “One meant to absorb every kind of light and sound, no matter its properties. Not even Star Swirl’s Luminescence can reveal something hidden by this magic. It is called Void’s Well. I am its inventor, and this is one of only two places it has been used.”
Twilight’s ears perked up at this. “It can defeat Star Swirl’s Luminescence? But Luminescence takes so much magic to activate, how can it… I don’t understand.”
“You remember the hierarchy from your schooling, correct?” Luna asked.
“The Glow Cloud hierarchy? Of course. If two spells are of equal complexity, the one that takes more magic overcomes the other. If two spells are of inequal complexity, the one with more basic components abolishes the other. This correlation is based on the proof by Profes”—
“Professor Glow Cloud, yes,” Luna said, rolling her eyes. “I remember he likened the equal complexity case to a stick striking a sword and the inequal case as trying to cut a cloth with harsh language.”
Eyes cast downward, Twilight brought a hoof to her chin. “Right, well, that doesn’t make sense either. Luminescence works by manifesting a concept: truth. Concepts are among the most basic magical building blocks in existence. Star Swirl’s Luminescence can clear mental illusions and beat back Sombra’s shadows. I remember seeing it when Celestia used it during my Want It, Need It fiasco in Ponyville.”
Twilight’s eyes widened as she understood. “If Void’s Well can absolve Luminescence, it must manifest something even deeper than a concept. Something like a fundamental law of reality…”
Luna smirked. “Well that’s not leading at all.”
Is she enjoying this? Twilight thought, frowning. “Most ponies can’t detect spells that deep, so why the Sconces?”
“I don’t believe I told you what this spell manifests,” Luna said, her smirk growing.
She’s definitely enjoying this. Twilight let out a sigh.
“Do not be so frustrated, Twilight,” Luna said. “We all need a mystery to solve. Maybe you’ll find more clues by experiencing the manifestation firsthoof.” Luna gestured into the room.
Stepping forward with a sigh, Twilight slowly set a hoof down into the Well. Just when she thought she might overbalance and fall, she made contact with something solid. She tapped against the surface and rubbed it a few times. It felt like the same tile that covered the hallway they were in.
Luna’s voice carried a note of impatience. “It’s a room, Twilight, like any other in the castle, the sole difference being the enchantment placed upon it. I assure you, it has a solid floor despite the darkness.”
Twilight nodded. Steeling herself, she closed her eyes and leapt into the room. She began flapping her wings, choosing to hover in the air rather than land where she might trip. For once, Twilight felt her flying was absolutely perfect, moments before she crashed into the ceiling.
Grabbing a nearby candlestick in her mouth and lighting it, Luna set it down just inside the door. She stifled a giggle at Twilight’s antics. “I wouldn’t recommend flying in here. There is no way to tell where you are.”
Twilight descended, flapping haphazardly and hitting the ground a little faster than she meant to. Wincing, she held her left forehoof off the ground. “Yeah, I can tell.”
Careful to move slowly in the darkness, Twilight began getting excited. “Oh, wow! This magic is incredible, but the spell seems wasted here. I mean, it’s pretty easy to use a muffling charm and a light-scattering enchantment to achieve the same effect. Surely Void’s Well has other properties!” Twilight’s eyes sparkled in the faint light coming from the doorway.
Luna met Twilight’s gaze. “Yes, surely it does.”
Grinning, Twilight waited for Luna to continue. After a few seconds, however, Luna hadn’t moved or said anything. If anything, it looks like she’s about to fall asleep, Twilight thought. Twilight’s pupils widened into her best pleading puppy-dog impression. “Can you pleeeaase tell me about them?”
The corners of Luna’s mouth curled into a smug smile. “I think I would prefer to show you, Twilight.” Turning, Luna shut the door.
Twilight felt a thrill of fear trickle down her spine at the sudden emptiness. She caught herself staring at Luna. Closing her eyes, Twilight shook her head from side to side. When she reopened her eyes, she chose instead to stare at the candle.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle, open the door,” Luna said.
Twilight blinked. Why close the door if she just wants me to open it again? Settling for a mental shrug, Twilight summoned her magic. Aiming her aura where she knew the door to be, she felt around for a handle.
Then she felt around for the outline of a door.
Then she felt around for a wall.
Breathing deeply to slow the beating of her heart, Twilight said, “Uh, ehehehe… Luna, you didn’t happen to trap us in here, did you?”
A smile played around Luna’s lips. “No, Twilight, I didn’t. Just as Void’s Well absorbs light and sound, so too does it disperse unicorn magic into nothingness. In fact, this enchantment is a watered-down version of the real thing. The real Void’s Well is a complete vacuum and would have started pulling air from the castle into itself when we opened the door.”
Luna trotted over to stand with Twilight. Luna’s hooffalls made no sound nor seemed to connect with anything. It just looks like they stop in midair, Twilight thought. She found herself straining her ears to find an echo. The absence of sound made her uneasy.
“It’s quite peaceful, isn’t it?” Luna sat down beside Twilight, the edges of her mane dissolving into darkness.
Twilight snorted. “Yeah, being in the middle of a spell that could blow me out into space just makes me all tingly inside. Maybe I can get my whole room done up like this.”
When she looked anywhere other than the candle, Twilight felt as if she were falling. It’s like looking over a cliff and not seeing the ground. Staring down at her hooves, Twilight had begun to shake uncontrollably.
Suddenly, she felt herself fall against an outstretched wing.
Luna’s calm mutter rang in Twilight’s ears. “Steady, Twilight. Maintain focus on yourself. If you try to pierce the Void with your gaze alone, you’ll soon find yourself swallowed up. Take your time.”
“S-Sorry.” Twilight felt cold sweat soaking her fur. Shuffling for a moment, she managed to get her hooves under her body and lifted herself into a sitting position. Trying to steady her breathing, she closed her eyes for a moment.
“I didn’t expect the Void to affect you this strongly, Twilight.” Luna nuzzled the shivering alicorn. “You need to focus your thoughts. Ignore the emptiness and occupy your mind with your own existence.”
“Okay.”
Twilight focused her thoughts on herself.
C’mon Twilight, it’s your first lesson with Luna and you’re blowing it!
Don’t worry, you can do it!
Are you kidding? I almost fainted within the first five minutes of just standing around!
But… you didn’t faint, right? Besides, you can’t give up now! We’re in Luna’s ‘sanctuary’!
I know, I know, just shut up so I can concentrate on my thoughts…
“Very good Twilight,” Luna said.
Twilight cracked open an eye. “Thank you, but what for?”
“Well, you’ve stopped shaking, haven’t you?” Luna said.
Looking down at her hooves, Twilight could see that her body was still. Twilight blinked in surprise. “Why did I stop shaking? I didn’t try to…” Twilight’s brow furrowed as she thought of a more pressing issue. “For that matter, why did I start trembling like that in the first place?”
Luna closed her eyes, shutting out the candlelight and basking in the calming dark. “When you reside in the light and atmosphere of Earth, you become used to things being imposed on you. Heat, light, motion, and magic saturate everything, so you don’t need to worry about any of them escaping you. In the Void, however, you must center yourself or your warmth and magic will fade.” Luna opened her eyes, meeting Twilight’s curious gaze. “You focused your thoughts inward rather than trying to perceive non-existent surroundings. Remember, Twilight, existence is not the norm in the Void. Do not try to interact with it directly.”
Nodding, Twilight thought, It makes sense, in a way, to think that nothingness would try to dissolve anything within itself.
Twilight stared straight ahead into the Void, her eyes unfocused as she turned her attention to her own thoughts. Heh, I wonder if this is what everypony means by ‘staring off into space’. A small smirk crossed her face.
A thought struck Twilight like the first drop of a freezing downpour. “The moon must have been very empty,” she muttered, afraid to touch on a tender subject.
For a moment, Luna made no indication that she had heard at all. She kept her eyes closed as she replied. “At first, I suppose. Once you live in it for several years, however, you tend to get used to it. I thought I would go mad for the longest time. However, being alone with one’s thoughts for years on end has a curious way of tempering you. For the first few months after my return, I found the day-to-day bustle so overwhelming that I would often shut myself in my room to feel alone once more.
“I created this room so that I would have a place to rest.” Luna glanced over at Twilight, who was staring into the darkness with half-lidded eyes. “Life has a rather unique way of adapting to strange environments, Twilight. It was not as bad as most ponies think. In truth, the fear other ponies still have of me has been far more painful to bear than any banishment.”
Twilight refocused her eyes, looking back at Luna with an apologetic frown. Luna smiled at Twilight and went back to meditating. Silence reigned once again as both princesses sat alone with their thoughts.
Eventually, a long, heaving sigh escaped Luna. Twilight roused herself from her trance-like state. Blinking, she asked, “What is it, Luna?”
Luna opened her eyes. “I think we should talk.”
Twilight began fidgeting, a wide grin splitting her face. “Oh, yes! I thought maybe you only wanted to show me Void’s Well and let me get used to it! I hoped we would be learning magic, but I didn’t want to ask. Oh, I’m so excited! Will learn the first steps to casting Void’s Well? Will I learn some kind of shadow magic? I’ve read all about Sombra’s Deception, and I think it could really be useful in dealing with mental illness. Or maybe-“
“What makes you think I’d know anything about Sombra’s Deception?” Luna said, her ears flattening.
Twilight stopped fidgeting for a moment. Her ears fell flat when she saw Luna’s angry expression. “I-I just thought… you know… since you’re the Princess of the Night that… maybe…” Her smile fell as she felt Luna’s gaze pierce through her.
“That I like to dabble in dark magic and learn spells to entrap ponies?” Luna’s tone had turned cold.
Twilight hung her head. “I’m sorry, Luna. I didn’t mean to imply that you were bad or anything, it’s just…”
“A world of difference exists between darkness and evil, Twilight,” Luna said, peering into the distance. “I let my emotions get the best of me before, and have regretted it ever since.”
Her expression softening, Luna put a wing around Twilight and drew her closer. “Twilight, I understand where you got those ideas from. Everypony assumes that when shadows hide something, it must be dangerous in some way. It’s only natural. I’m just frustrated because nopony ever bothers to learn the truth.”
Sniffling, Twilight blinked back her tears.
Luna hugged her tighter. “I’m not angry at you,” Luna paused, breathing a sigh. “It’s a touchy subject for me.”
“O-okay,” Twilight said, her breath catching in her throat. After a moment, she looked back up at Luna. “So what did you want to talk about if not magic?”
Luna squinted against the light given off by the candle’s unwavering flame. “Remember when you compared how you feel to the night sky?”
“I remember,” Twilight said, nodding. Twilight’s reddened eyes also turned to gaze at the candle. It hurt her eyes to stare directly at it, so she turned back to Luna.
“I learned a great deal about being at peace with oneself while on the moon,” Luna said. “Tell me, Twilight, does light shine where we stand now?”
Twilight blinked, looking Luna up and down. She thought it seemed like another odd question, but she was beginning to expect that from Luna. “Yes. Light is bouncing off of you and me, so there must be light here.”
Raising her right wing, Luna pointed into the darkness. “Would you say light shines there as well?”
Twilight turned her head to look. “No.”
“Really?” Luna said, the corner of her mouth twitching, “Why don’t you go over there and see if that’s true.”
Heaving a sigh, Twilight got stiffly to her hooves. She took a few cautious steps away from Luna, careful not to scrutinize the blackness too closely. Coming to a halt, Twilight turned back to Luna. Looking around at herself and the candle, she stated matter-of-factly, “Yes, there’s light over here. I can see the candle and you.”
“If you stood anywhere else in the room, would the result change?” Luna asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Twilight looked around at the darkness. Suddenly, it dawned on her. “No… No matter where I stand in the room, I’ll be able to see the candle. Then this entire room is actually full of light, none of it being reflected.”
Luna nodded. “It is the same with the night sky. All we can see from here are small specks of light in a vast sea of darkness. However, if we were to change our perspective, we would see that light fills the universe.
“I find it helpful to think of ponies in much the same way. From our vantage point, we easily see all of the crime, perversity, and selfishness, finding a void of black hearts and wretched minds. We focus on the evil around us while finding it difficult to see the good. However, if you were to shift your perspective a little and try to see things from others’ points of view, you may find there’s a lot of light you could not see.” Luna shifted, lying down and tucking her legs beneath her.
Twilight brought a hoof to her chin. “So… you just focus on the good aspects of ponies and ignore the bad?”
“Not quite, Twilight,” Luna said, shaking her head. “Like I said before, there’s a difference between darkness and evil. When dealing with the unknown, we naturally assume the worst so we are prepared. That’s why ponies fear of the dark. However, when you shine a light into the darkness and find something hateful or hurtful, you must do all you can to stamp it out. We must find the difference between what we’ve assumed is bad and what is truly destructive.”
Ugh, why does she have to speak in riddles? Twilight thought, closing her eyes against the candle’s light. “If I’m understanding you correctly, what you’re saying is that some things we see as bad aren’t driven by hatred or anger or greed, but are somehow good? How could crime be good? How could the way all of our guards think about us be good?”
“Well,” Luna began, “stealing out of greed may be evil, but stealing out of desperate need is not. Both are punishable by law, but I hope that those who steal because they need food receive help rather than discipline. The point, though, is that both fall under the heading of ‘crime’ and thus are labeled evil from the outset.
“As for the guards, I’ve sometimes felt as you do. However, I believe the same principle applies to them. They are all males expected to stand in one place all day, so some… looking is expected. However, that doesn’t excuse more aggressive actions like staring or making inappropriate comments.
“Speaking of which, when you were shouting at the guards earlier, it sounded like you were telling them off for some sort of assault.” Luna raised an eyebrow.
Twilight began fidgeting again, looking nervously over Luna’s shoulder.
“Did our guards really step so far out of line, Twilight?” Luna asked.
“W-well they did step out of line. I guess it’s fine to help me up, but they lingered way too long. I-I mean, that guard had it coming anyway! He’s been assigned to guard me for the whole week and he won’t stop staring,” Twilight sputtered. “It’s… I mean, the guards aren’t there to do that, right?”
“So, you believe we should punish this behavior by turning them to stone?” Luna said.
Twilight scuffed the ground with her hoof. “Well, maybe I overreacted a little, but that kind of behavior is still unacceptable.”
“Hmm. From the way you were shouting, I thought he might have tried something.” The corner of Luna’s mouth twitched. “It’s a pity. The punishment for a sexual assault is quite… entertaining.”
Choosing to ignore Twilight’s raised eyebrows, Luna continued, “In any case, the punishment should fit the crime. Distinguishing between unlawful and evil is as important as recognizing simple interest as a natural reaction. If they’re making you uncomfortable, it’s important to say so, but they needn’t be turned to stone just for looking.”
Twilight’s gaze fell. “Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can see why they do it. Why do we have an all-male guard force?”
A smirk tugged at the corners of Luna’s mouth, her half-lidded eyes accented by the candlelight. “You can blame Tia for that. She got particularly bored one afternoon and decided the castle could use a change of scenery, so to speak.”
Twilight’s eyes bulged. “Wha—Celestia did—I don’t believe that!”
“Oh, I assure you, it’s quite true. And don’t act so innocent, Twilight, I’ve caught you sneaking a peek once or twice!” Luna said, giggling behind her hoof.
Twilight balked at the accusation. She felt warmth beginning to rise in her cheeks. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! That time was just… I was making sure he picked up the papers properly! That’s all!”
“I never said when I caught you, Twilight, though now I can say I’ve caught you at it more than a couple times.” Luna gave Twilight a sly glance.
Cheeks still burning, Twilight lowered her wing. She began rubbing her hooves together. “You won’t… tell anypony, will you?”
Luna hid her mouth behind her hooves, giggling. Twilight looked away from Luna and out into the darkness, her wings ruffling in embarrassment.
Standing up, Luna nuzzled Twilight. “Don’t take things so seriously, Twilight. I would never reveal anything said to me in confidence. Besides, I think I would have a few thousand guards to apologize to before I got around to your little glances.”
Smiling, Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “I guess it was kind of silly for me to get so worked up over something like that. This situation surprised me. Every time I visited the castle as a filly, everypony seemed so polite and dignified. I guess I never thought of them as being normal.”
Luna raised an eyebrow, a smirk crossing her face. “Nopony is perfect, Twilight. Not even Celestia, though she does her best to hide it. Keep that in the back of your mind when you’re attending Court or dealing with our little ponies. It doesn’t get any easier, but you do get stronger.”
“Thanks, Luna. That’s encouraging to know.” A wide grin split her face as Twilight reached out to give Luna a hug, but stopped halfway through. Twilight set her hooves down, her grin falling into an apologetic smile.
Cocking an eyebrow at Twilight, Luna reached out with both hooves and pulled her into a hug. Twilight soon added her hooves to the embrace.
“Feeling better now?” Luna asked.
They let the hug end. “Yes. I’m really glad we had this talk. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t learn any magic, but I really needed to hear what you told me,” Twilight said.
Luna got up and trotted over to the candle. Reaching into the darkness, she pulled open the door. Light flooded into Void’s Well, causing Twilight and Luna to shield their eyes from the sudden brightness. As they stepped out into the corridor, Luna turned to Twilight. “There’s no reason I can’t teach you magic later on.”
“That’s great!” Twilight exclaimed, prancing a little as she stepped out of the corridor and into Luna’s bedroom. “I can’t wait to learn more about your magic. It’s so different from what I usually practice.”
As they stepped out into the hall, Twilight noticed the Lunar Guards standing to attention on either side of the doorway. Falling into step with Luna, Twilight smiled up at her elder. “I think I have some apologies to make. I may have given somepony a bit of a hard time earlier.”
“That would probably be for the best. We wouldn’t want our newest princess to gain a reputation as a royal pain.” Luna gave Twilight a teasing glance. The two princesses giggled as they came to a fork in their path.
“Well, goodnight Luna. I think I need to sleep on this. Thanks again for the lesson.” Twilight nuzzled Luna before she turned to go back to her room.
“Goodnight, Twilight, and remember: just as the candle filled Void’s Well with light, so too can a single spark of good fill a void of uncertainty with truth.”
Giving Luna one last smile, Twilight trotted off to bed.
A big thanks to Cerulean Voice, Hopeless Appraisal and Lannakitty for their prereading and excellent suggestions!
Enjoy! 
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Me....LIKE! It was a good story
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Thanks! If you want to stay up to date with what stories I'm gonna post next, you can join my fanpage here. I created it mainly to house a thread that keeps anyone curious up-to-date on what I'm doing FiMFiction-wise.
Just curious. Why would you put up the first chapter of a new story only to put it on hiatus instantly?
I'm so confused.
// Sphex
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Read the Author's Note.
EDIT: Actually, I'll go ahead and append it to the description.
More, please.......
NAO!...I mean...if that's all right with you...
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Gonna have to wait a bit, I'm afraid. This is one of four ongoing stories I need to update. However, if you feel like watching my progress, you can check out this thread. I update it regularly.
If you liked this, you might also like Lunar Gravity.
This is smart story-telling. No misprints, great descriptions of actions, reactions and so on. Very professionally done.
I love the dialog, too. One line, among many, sticks out for me. "When we are dealing with the unknown, it is natural to assume the worst so that one is prepared." Yeah, that applies to me. Sometimes I can be too cynical about people sometimes, although not without reason. When you are stabbed in the heart enough times, you tend to assume the worst about others, when the worst is all you get.
Eesh. Enough kvetching from me. I like this story a lot, so it gets an upvote and a fave from me. Well done!
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It's good to hear that my story related to someone's life.
I'm glad you liked it!
That was a cute story, for sure. Can see you went out of your way to see Luna was characterized by all available source material.
I liek.☺
I like the story man. Very nicely done.
Greetings, ChromeMyriad! Here begins the review you requested from WRITE.
Let's start with that synopsis. It doesn't suffer from the common pitfalls, but then there's not much to it, is there? It doesn't promise much in the way of interest. Is the advice unsolicited? Has Twilight been wrestling with the subject? It's nice to get at least a hint of what the story's main conflict might be. It's not that the synopsis is bad; it just isn't very enticing. Unless I was a fan of the particular characters, I might well pass it over.
It's generally preferred to keep sound effects out of narration. Better to describe the sound and be more evocative of it, even link it to a character emotion.
There is a time and a place for passive voice, but this isn't it. For one thing, it's not an active construct, and active constructs are much more interesting to read. Add to that the fact that you want to grab the reader's interest right away, and passivity rarely works well at the beginning of a story. Like I said, there is a use for such things, but typically when you need to emphasize the object over the action or emphasize what's acted upon rather than what's doing the action. So what emphasis do the pineapple and fork warrant? They're not some sort of symbol or thematic element you're carrying along. Maybe you do later in the story, and then it could work there, but it's not established yet, and I'm betting they don't get used that way.
Now it feels like I'm getting bounced around on perspective. An omniscient narrator can get away with this to some degree, but you're taking on a more limited voice here. This statement is told from Luna's perspective, but only a few sentences prior, you had an interruption of the narration that suits Celestia's viewpoint more, unless Luna is very intent on watching her sister eat for some reason. Even a limited narrator can shift perspectives, but it has to be done smoothly, unless you make the shift across a scene break. Imagine zooming the camera out of one character, making the narrator speak more neutrally, then slowly back into another character. But then you have to consider whether the shift is even necessary. Is the information vital? Is there an effective way of relating it from the previous perspective without changing to the new character? Is there enough you can do from the new character's perspective to stay there for a while? Rapid and frequent shifts jerk the reader around and don't let him get settled into, i.e., identify with, the character.
And within the same paragraph, you're back to Celestia's perspective. That's definitely a no-no. Now, it's possible you intended the entire paragraph to be from Celestia's perspective, but that requires that Celestia really notice the smell of Luna's drink and somehow read her actions as ignoring the sound. Both are certainly possible, but I can't tell that from the wording. You could explicitly say Celestia smelled the drink, or that it evokes an anecdote from her past. You could show me the body language Celestia uses to interpret Luna as ignoring the sound, or you could explicitly state that she thinks that's what Luna is doing. There are lots of possibilities, but you need to be wary of how you write so that the perspective is obvious and consistent.
What exactly is causing them some difficulty? You don't suggest anything, so I'm left wondering why this is a detail that needed including. Now is also when I'll bring up an issue of sentence structures. Aside from the two sound-effect paragraphs, every single sentence begins with the subject. You do mix up a few forms with that, but the beginnings of sentences need some love, too. It keeps your writing from feeling more like a list of actions than a flowing narrative. After this paragraph, you get to some dialogue, which tends to break that up, but the damage is done. Yes, this is a very common sentence structure, and it's probably going to do the heavy lifting in the story. That's fine, but you need to include a bit of variety here and there to keep it from getting monotonous. After this paragraph, you have another sound-effect one (boo!). Then look at the first word of the next five. See the structural repetition again? I’d also use "guardsponies" as in "guardsmen."
Hyphenate multi-word descriptors (except two-word ones where the first is an -ly adverb).
Ah, my old friend, show versus tell. It's a lot more effective to let me see what evidence would have led to the conclusions of "disgust" and "mock surprise" rather than draw them for me. I want to see Celestia's curled lip, the fire in her eyes, Luna's too-natural smile, the hoof held to her chest. This gets me into the characters' heads and makes me think about them. That's how you engage a reader. You don't have to do this all the time, but you should when it's an emotion you want the reader to feel along with the character. Like the active structures, it's also a good idea early in the story. If I'm just as irritated with the sound as Celestia and annoyed at the obvious pleasure Luna is taking in my frustration, it makes the story much more relatable than if I'm just fed the fact that Celestia is peeved.
First off, you can leave this sentence as is. But I want to use it to illustrate a point. Participles like to modify the nearest prior object, unless they begin a clause, where they like to modify the subject. So by grammatical convention, the cup is noticing the emblem. However that doesn't make logical sense, and it's easy to sort out what you mean. You just have to be careful with how you place participles, or you will eventually use one in an ambiguous or misleading manner. Say that instead of a cup, you had Luna there in the sentence. I couldn't be sure which one you meant to notice the emblem, thought the default assumption is Luna, which might not be what you intended. So while this instance is fine, be careful.
And we finally get to a non-dialogue sentence that doesn't begin with the subject. See how long that took?
Another form of telling. I think you don't need the "mischievously" at all, since the "twinkled" pretty much gets at her mood nicely on its own. The main structures to be wary of are directly citing an emotion (sad), -ly adverb form (happily), and prepositional phrase form (in excitement). The last one is almost always redundant with an action it follows, and can often simply be cut.
As an honorific, this would normally be capitalized. It's possible she's making a point of using it in the lower case, but there's no way to assume that from the spoken words themselves. You'd have to indicate the tone of voice or body language that makes the implication, and even in that case, it's unlikely a reader would pick up on your choice of lower case as being meaningful versus a mistake.
And it's happened. This is not only ambiguous or misleading, but a genuine dangling participle. "Unfurling the scroll" describes Celestia, but she doesn't appear in the clause. Only her eyes do. You're explicitly saying that her eyes unfurled the scroll.
Using an ellipsis in the narration definitely brings it within the realm of a limited narrator. So you're back in Luna's head again.
There are some exceptions, but you have separate subject-verb pairs here ([understood you]->get going, I->catch), so put a comma between the clauses.
Another inopportune place for passive voice. Having the doors whip open and create a loud sound is a very active thing. By phrasing it passively, you steal that action from it.
Here's a case where you don't need a comma. There's only a single subject with a compound verb.
You just used pretty much the same action for her three short paragraphs ago. Watch the repetition.
And again, nearly identical to an action she took just two paragraphs ago.
Not sure why this would be capitalized. She referring to it in a generic sense, so it doesn't sound like a title.
Maneuver the sentence to the bottom of the screen. Now look back up at the first word of each paragraph you can see.
At this point in the story, you're using quite a lot of participles. Five of the last six pieces of narration use one. It's a structure that inexperienced authors often lean on, and besides getting in a structural rut, they have their own attendant problems, like the misplaced modifiers and dangling participles I've already noted. We'll see if you hit the trifecta.
There are a few things that break smart quotes, including dashes and leading apostrophes. These are backward. Add a set after them, then delete the first, and that will fix it.
In a sing-song what?
Italics are preferred over all caps or bold font for emphasis.
Dialogue punctuation, but you've been getting it right, so it's probably just an oversight.
At least it's been a little while, but this is the exact pairing you used before. It's thesaurus time.
The "exclaimed" really feels like it goes with the first quote, but the way you've punctuated it, it goes with the second. It feels awkward.
The way you've punctuated this one, both parts of the quote would be a single sentence: "Actually, I have a better idea, I think I have just the thing for our budding princess here."
But that's a comma splice.
Typo
Just because she's mouthing it doesn't mean it isn't a quote. Use the double quotation marks.
Except in the case of a first-person narrator who is aware of the narration, using phrases like this that reference the writing itself are immersion-breaking.
More broken smart quotes. You'll just have to scan through for these on your own.
And here is the third danger of participles I alluded to. They imply simultaneous action, but she wouldn't lead Twilight down the path until after she turned, not at the same time.
You already said it was tiled a few sentences ago.
knickknacks
Another ungainly self-reference in narration. It's a common issue when demonstratives (this, that, these, those) are used as pronouns. Make it a modifier instead by sticking an appropriate noun after it, and the problem goes away. Of course, rephrasing is also an option.
You've actually been quote good about holding to Twilight's perspective in this scene, but this phrasing suggests Luna's internal attitude more than Twilight's interpretation.
How is this the kind of thing she wouldn't notice until she saw it? A slight shiver, maybe but uncontrollable shaking? That's pretty extreme.
Unless it's something that has to be capitalized anyway, only do so with the first instance in a stutter.
Just like she noticed she was shaking? Besides being repetitive, it's another instance of something that it's hard to believe she just noe notices. Both do things to your body that are awfully hard to be oblivious to.
Here's another instance where the participle synchronizes something that would actually happen in sequence.
You were doing well, but this is blatantly in Luna's perspective.
Missing a comma for direct address.
You have a hyphen where you need a dash.
Not sure if you meant all that this implies, especially since a simple "here" would do fine.
Now I'm confused. Twilight spoke of Luna seeming to walk on air, so how does she even perceive the floor? I realize that it's actually stone, but it's unclear whether anything beyond its solidity gets to where they are. And for that matter, this smacks of being in Luna's perspective. Twilight hasn't touched the floor with anything but hooves. How would she know it was cold?
"Wha—" would work better, since it's the actual word she meant. And don't put space after an em dash.
Out of her perspective again. How would she know it was visible? She can't see it, but she should be able to feel it.
And back into Luna's head.
You've referenced the blush in three straight paragraphs now.
Another missing comma for direct address.
Another compound modifier that needs a hyphen.
She pretty much already had it figured out. Luna explained it to her. What's she still confused about?
First off, the obvious stuff.
There is a lot of telly language in here. I've already been over the common red flags for it and the rationale behind avoiding it, so I'll just leave it at putting a reminder here to go back through and fix all that. This was one of the main things that I only pointed out a few isolated instances of, even though it turned up a lot. I'm not going to clog up your comments section with every time I noted one.
The perspective jumps all over. You really need to decide for each scene who you want to hold the perspective, then examine for each sentence whether it's consistent in staying with your choice. If you do decide you need to change perspective in the middle of a scene, consider whether you shouldn't rewrite it from that other perspective. If both are required, then stay with each long enough to have a meaningful connection with the reader and make a smooth transition.
There was a lot of repetition, from individual words and phrases to use of participle elements to sentence structure to paragraph structure. One I didn't point out in an excerpt but was still present was the tendency to have paragraph after paragraph during a conversation go:
Short action sentence. "Dialogue." And as for the dialogue... I'm not going to level an accusation of saidisms at you, since I didn't come away from the story with a sense that you'd used a lot of exotic speaking verbs. Mostly, it seems like you went without attributions at all. But I did note that very few instances of "said"—only 10 of them in what I estimate is around 120 quotes. Another bit of repetition is the use of "to be" verbs. They're not horrible, and they have their uses, but they're also inherently boring. You should strive to choose active verbs where you can. They're much more interesting to read. Of the easier forms to search (contractions of "is" are particularly hard to do anything but hand count, as an apostrophe-s often signifies possession or a contraction of "has"), I found 173, which is nearly one every other sentence. That's how often something isn't happening. A few other words you may want to keep an eye on: look, turn, just. They're also commonly repeated ones. You didn't have a ton of any of these, but there was a moderate amount for this word count.
The last point I want to make is one regarding the plot. The argument that Luna wants to make isn't a difficult one. It's pretty simple to explain, "Don't assume bad motives from everyone, because you might see things differently if you consider their viewpoints." And yet Twilight somehow has trouble grasping it without a pretty abstract demonstration of the concept. It seems pretty over-the-top that Twilight needs this whole session to drill it into her skull. I think it would carry more power if: 1) We saw some concrete examples of the lesson learned, as in Twilight figures out what one of the nobles' motivations was and now doesn't think he's so bad, and 2) Luna has a more valid reason for going through this whole rigmarole than teaching Twilight a lesson that really shouldn't have required that much trouble. You kind of already have one—that Twilight needs to learn to take some alone time to insulate her from her stress, since Luna's demonstration is certainly a more effective example of isolation than any Twilight could find on her own. All the better if you can invent an additional reason.
Keep writing and have fun with it!
Pascoite, WRITE's mineral
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Thank you for your insight, Pascoite. I had no idea how many mistakes I was making. I deeply appreciate you taking the time to look through the story and note the errors. I'll be working through them steadily.
I particularly appreciate the perspective confusion notes. They slipped completely beneath my radar. I'll take your advice to heart.
This story started out silly and then got pretty deep in the philosophical department, pretty well done all around.
Also, the first bit, with Luna bothering Celestia simply by making slurping noises reminded me of how my brother and I annoy one another. Nice touch with that!
As Twilight trotted off to bed ,Luna called out " Thou shall tell your Dragon to worry not, His lady mare shall agree to his invitation on Hearts & Hooves day"
"And another thing" Luna Continued " It is not polite or in good taste to peek through thou mares bedroom window !"
4670001
Thanks, man. I wasn't sure how writing out the sounds would go over, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
4820286
"Oh, don't worry, Luna. He's been sleeping in my room for years. I know all about it!"
th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/189/0/e/surprise_princess_luna_by_ultimateultimate-d51gzji.png
Damn, that's one of the best lines I've read in a while.
4820937
Logic Luna is Best Luna.
Oh, I remember this. Nice job snagging EqD finally
4821488
Thanks, m80.
Yaaaay! I get back into town and see you got snagged by EqD! Congrats!
The punishment for sexual assault in Equestria is "entertaining" to the Princess of the Night? Given her archaic views on some things, I shudder to think what that means.
An amazing story, very will written.
4822709
Hey, Lanna. Good of you to stop by! Thanks for all the work you did helping me get it ready.
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>implications
mlponies.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/luna_sleepless-690x388.png
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I'm glad you enjoyed it.
4827170 Thank you for writing it.
You reminded me of the fact that dark magic is not evil. It depends on how it is used.
4827170 Implications, indeed.
Nice story, I quite enjoyed Luna's insight about the distinction between dark and evil.
All hail the GLOW CLOUD!
Stone? Hard time? *rimshot*
Thoroughly enjoyable.
4822709 It's pronounced
"yay!"
4820937
I completely agree
Her expression softening, Luna put a wing around Twilight and drew her closer. “Twilight, I understand where you got those ideas from. Everypony assumes that when shadows hide something, it must be dangerous in some way. It’s only natural. I’m just frustrated because nopony ever bothers to learn the truth.”
Sniffling, Twilight blinked back her tears.
Luna hugged her tighter. “I’m not angry at you,” Luna paused, breathing a sigh. “It’s a touchy subject for me.”
me:DAWWWWWWWWW
Don't get me wrong, I freaking loved this story; but the world-building/lore condenses itself. Whenever there's some new type of magic or newly-written lore in a fic, I always love to know everything about it. The problem for me is, well, you didn't really touch up on Void's Well or Star Swirl's magic all that much. Sure, you gave adequate descriptions on what this stuff was so the readers can understand the plot, but I feel as if there's still a lot more you could have talked about.
Also, there were several instances where, when you used a said tag after dialogue, you used a period and not a comma. For example:
and
This happened quite often in your fic.
5025464
I'm sorry you thought the world-building didn't have enough detail. I felt like explaining everything about my headcanon would clog up the interaction that was the original goal of the fic. I can see how the way I approached it might leave some questions unanswered.
On the period thing, you did catch a couple of the places it was grammatically incorrect—I have gone through and fixed the errors—but when a quotation ends with a period, it's grammatically correct for the quote to be followed by an action rather than a dialogue tag. I don't use 'said' very often and I realize that's a problem. I'll be trying to use them more in future writing.
5026073
Well, saying 'said' is usually invisible to readers, much more so than to the actual author. When I write, I try to say 'said' as much as I can—without getting repetitive with it, of course.
Hello! I've made an audiobook for your excellent story for my next project. You can find it here:
5248453
your voice!
Wow. Excellently done. I'm glad you enjoyed the story and I
Out of curiosity, I was wondering what some of the things you disagreed with were.
5257513 Thank you!
As for what I disagreed with, I thought that everyone, especially Celestia, was a little dismissive of how Twilight felt. Even though Luna did balance the issue nicely by pointing out that inappropriate behavior does need to be addressed, it didn't seem to seriously concern anyone other than Twilight, which is odd considering the high standards guards might be held to. And since it's pretty vague what the guard(s) did other than that one may have had a bit too lingering of a physical contact, I wasn't sure Twilight should be apologizing for feeling intruded upon at the end.
But, none of that was the focus of the story, and those elements were more amusing in most parts than they were worrisome. On the whole, I still think this is a fantastic story, and I meant it when I said this demonstrates a really advanced level of abstraction and story-building techniques. I especially appreciated that Twilight was able to see possible good applications for even Sombra's dark powers. She and Luna are perfectly in-character, and I think everyone else has commented on how great the balance is between the humorous and serious moments. It was a lot of fun to read!
5263406
Hmm, that's fair. I won't say what I meant by any of that since the possibility of discussion is more important than the clarity of message, but I'm glad you found parts meaningful regardless. Hopefully, I'll be coming out with more work soon.
Happy reading and thanks for the comment!
This was an interesting, if somewhat thorough, look at magic, but I have to say, I felt it got a little off track toward the end with the "boys will be boys" nonsense directed at the guards. That wasn't really something I was expecting. Overall, I still enjoyed the piece, though.
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I wanted to address the concerns brought up at the start of the fic, so I thought I should talk about the guards again toward the end.
Nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
5315070
Yeah, I kinda figured something like that. :)
I listened to Thornquill's reading, and I thought he did an excellent job with it. The story was nothing at all like what I expected, but I loved it nonetheless. I wouldn't change a thing.
Keep up the good work!
5339816
Thanks for the feedback man. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
i got a bit of a nightvale vibe with the void and glow cloud XD
6284897
ALL HAIL!
Well done! Entertaining and unique. A good reminder to look for the light parts of life. Not at all what I was expecting, but Twilight's awkward sputtering was utterly wonderful. Nothing like the Adorkable Bookhorse to get you through the day.
Really interesting an unusual story.
Keep up the good work!
This was awesome. The writing and philosophy on display speaks to your ability to channel the show itself. I love me some Twilight-Luna teachable moments.