• Member Since 7th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Monday

Hoopy McGee

Hoopy's just this guy, you know?


Ahuizotl has the last of the Rings of Scorchero. Will the adventurer and hero Daring Do manage to stop him in time?

Quick answer: Nope

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 73 )

This was well written and fun to read. Sorry it's not much of a critique but I didn't dislike anything. Cheers!

I haven't seen the episode, and I don't care! That was fun to read, thanks! (Poor Lulu, getting her own sleep interrupted by Celes. ; ; )

inb4 Featured because it's awesome.

In fact, it probably would have ended the same way if she’d never even been there.

Just like Indiana Jones! :raritywink:

In any case, a very nice alternate take on the episode. I do love these sorts of stories.


HA! I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that!

I love you, and I want your bebes inside meh! :rainbowkiss:

Best AU ending ever. (Kind of LUS here and there, but fantastic all the same.) Your comedic delivery is delicious. :pinkiehappy:

*Looks away* And!

*Looks at front page*
*Give it a minute or two*

3621772 "FEAUTRED"?

Whoops!:twilightoops: guess I was too excited:twilightblush:

3621814 Ah... pity. I thought it was intentional, meaning something different, some kind of indirect probable result of being featured. ;)

Ya know, this plot might have worked back when unicorns controlled the sun. That's the problem with millennia-old superweapons - they're really, really old.

Yeah, that's about the way I thought it was gonna go... yep!:derpytongue2:

I daresay that was the most ingenious deconstruction of that episode's plot I've yet seen.

This is obviously going to get featured the next time the box updates. :yay:

Well, I was... blown away... :coolphoto:

I was wondering this the whole time. Ancient solar heat waves of doom mean a lot less once you have a sun deity in power. :twilightsheepish:

That, and the inevitable

“Uh… why did we think this was a good idea, again?”

I'll be perfectly honest, I thought ahuiz-however the hell you spell it said 'hate' not 'heat'

so...I did learn something from this!

Comment posted by Raistlin deleted Dec 13th, 2013


It reminds me one episode of "Ben 10", where the Forever Knight Enoch managed to claim the Sword of Ekchuah (Anime level power), just to watch it crumble into dust.

3622616 Exactly what I was thinking of. :raritywink:


And that´s what happens when you try to steal Celestia´s groove :trollestia:

Damn you and your terrible cliffhangers Hoopy! We deserve to know what happened to the black bean dilemma! :)

Just kidding, hilarious stuff!

Go... eat... a boat.

I see here a shout out to the original Raiders of the Lost Ark.... which would have ended the exact same way if Indy had just stayed home and taught classes.

Except, maybe, the ark of the covenant might have made it all the way back to Berlin, and been opened up in front of Hitler and his lieutenants, and possibly the whole german army.... and ended WWII right then and there....

wow. Kind of depressing.

That's what I thought on my first viewing as well. And it would have been a lot better had it been 800 years of scathing hate instead of 800 years of sweltering heat.

Score yourself five bonus points. :pinkiehappy:


This is now my head cannon for what would have happened if Rainbow just left. Though would have been nice to see Ahuizotl get blasted by that sun beam. Oh well.

Nicely done Hoopy!!

I cannot tell you how much I love the idea of Celestia and Luna hollering at each other from across the palace in the RCV. I mean, good story too, but I've been laughing for hours since I read that bit earlier.

3622930 That's by far my favorite thing about this story too!

This is a fun little read, but when are you getting back to "Sunflower- Side Projects"?


Chances after the death of Hitler, someone with actual military competence would have take over avoiding several of the most colossal mistakes which leaded the Nazi Germany toward its defeat.

[This is a long one! Skip to the bottom for the highlights]

With regard to the "Raiders" film, Indy's absence (assuming he didn't make it to the plane) could have had the following effects...

Marion would have died (with or without giving the medallion away)
The medallion would have been eventually been found if not given,.... the Gestapo man would have torn the place apart
The bar would probably have been torched, perhaps to hide the evidence of events
The Gestapo man would have both sides of the medallion, and not a scar
The medallion would have been translated by whoever would have translated the scar on the Gestapo man's hand
Following events would have taken place at a faster pace without "interference"
"Important" actions taking place at the dig site would have been followed by a Nazi film crew (the Nazis would probably have used this kind of thing for a propaganda news real)
Discovery of the location of the ark would have taken place as shown in the film, obviously with a different man holding the staff.
At the snake room the Nazis would probably have dealt with the snakes differently
After the ark was lifted, the workers might not have survived at the hands of their employers,... dead men tell no tales
The bad archaeologist seems to have intended to open the ark anyway, with or without Indy or Marion as extra audience members,.. this event might not have taken place at the location shown in the film, but I'm sure it would have happened regardless... all those Nazis would have been hit anyway...
The ark itself would have been left alone surrounded by all the broken camera equipment...

One of three following things would have happened...
1. No-one else noticed, and the ark is just left there
2. The ark is rediscovered by Nazis investigating the disapearence of the Gestapo man, camera crew, soldiers, or other staff,... the last few scenes in the original film happen in Germany!
3. Local folk discover the ark and hide it

[TL DR? Read the next bit then!]
Marion dead, No hand scar, easy loot, dig workers probably get paid in lead (after ark lifted), Impatient evil archaeologist and nosey Nazis still get deaded by angry God (thou shalt not break the tamper proof seal!)

Guhwhahahaha! That ending was the best part. :rainbowlaugh:

I always wondered what the writers were thinking when they decided to make Ahuitzol's plan 'increase the sun's temperature'. I mean, he does realize that there's a princess that controls the sun at will, right? He should try focusing on building up evidence in his case against Daring Do when he finally decides to sue her for using him in her book without his permission.

Well, pegasi control the weather, yet Trixie can still conjure lightning.

My guess is that Ahuizotl's plan would've worked precisely as he intended.

3623889 The only difference between what you're saying and what happened is that Ahuitzol needed an ancient artifact to do what he wanted. Trixie has magic, and just because she has magic does not make her better at handling weather than a Pegasus. I am of course referencing the time when the Mane Six had their cutie marks misplaced and Rarity horrendously failed at managing the weather while Rainbow fixed it in ten seconds flat.

Here's the thing: it could very well not have anything to do with the sun. At all.

3623936 Maybe, but considering that the altar for the rings was directly under the sun and the ceremony was done at high noon . . . yeah, pretty sure it had everything to do with the sun. I mean, what else could it possibly affect to raise the temperature to enact a drought? The ozone layer?

3622633 That is a perfect subtitle for this:

To wit:

In the style of the great Victorian Masterpieces of Old (TM):

Daring Didn't


How Celestia Got Her Groove Back

Made my night, Hoopy and Raistlin--Thanks! :rainbowkiss:



3624072 I was thinking a greenhouse would do the trick.:twilightsmile:

Cuuuuute! I like your little details, like Celestia's bed head and her Very Favorite Pillow. And the shouting between the Princesses was too funny! :pinkiehappy:

How about 'magic' just increasing the temperature? Your claim about the weakness of the writing only holds if you believe the sun to be the sole source of heat. However, I'm pretty sure I can boil water at night, without the sun, and I don't even have magic. Things like wrapping up winter would also be pointless if your belief held up.

3625543 Sure, but how would the heat be maintained? You need a constant source of heat to boil water and that comes from the burner on the stove which gets its power from electricity. How would it stay hot enough for a drought to last several hundred years? The rings? Maybe, but pull them off and it's done, plus it would need enough magic to keep itself powered to last. Magic itself? I may not be an expert on how magic works but I'm pretty sure it's not like the Force and flows through all living things meaning its only present in unicorns and alicorns so it couldn't be used as a source to provide constant heat. So that pretty much just leaves the sun to be affected as it's the only thing left that could provide a constant source of heat. Unless of course you discovered a way to increase the temperature without using a source.

It's not just in Unicorns/Alicorns. The Tree of Harmony had magic enough to supress Discord's plunder seeds for over a thousand years, without the Elements of Harmony even. Now how did it do that, if not by virtue of its own magic? Or was Celestia wrong when she claimed that?

3626188 We're talking about a tree even older than Celestia. Who's to say that the tree itself was magic, or that the magic in it was simply from the Elements? There was no explanation on where the tree came from or how it was formed so to say it's the same as the rings is too much of an assumption.. All that is known is that it was a container for the Elements and capable of storing magic from the strongest magical artifacts of Equestria. I highly doubt a bunch of rings meant to induce a drought for several hundred years can compare.

Not so much the rings as the Fortress of Talicon. The Rings of Scorcherro were needed to breach the Radiant Shield of Rasdon, which kept the power of the fortress in check.

Addendum: I feel like such a geek right now...

Ha, awesome Pratchett reference! And Raiders of the Lost Ark too, This is a really well-made little one shot! Kudos to you, sir!


“Don’t let me detain you,” she said in a cool voice.

Oh my God she just Vetinaried them.

800 years of scorching heat. Isn't Ahuizotl technically a Celestia extremist?

The thing about Raiders of the Lost Ark, is not that Indy was needed, but that he was there. If he hadn't been, then everyone would have died an no one would have been able to serve as a focus for the story. Then there wouldn't have been a story and none of them would have ever existed.

Truly, sometimes our purpose in life is greater than we can comprehend.

Princess Celestia with bed-mane

NO! Not bed-mane! Anything but bed-mane!

That's Royal Bed-Mane, Private. Now drop and give me twenty percent more push-ups. :rainbowdetermined2:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!