My name’s Marcus. Marcus Cortez. I’m currently a freshman at CUFTA. You don’t know what that means? Well, it stands for “Canterlot University for the Arts.” While it is a little unsettling to go to college in a completely different world from my own, and while being a human in a school full of mostly ponies is a little intimidating, I’m doing fine so far. I don’t have to worry about roommates, since I don’t live in a dorm. I live with my aunt.
Her name is Celestia. Princess Celestia.
You’re probably wondering how a human could be the nephew of a pony, and an alicorn princess, no less. Well, it’s quite the story.
In case you haven't guessed yet this is an anthro story, and my first time writing a story in first person, so we'll see how this goes.
The prologue for this story starts sixteen years prior to the return of Nightmare Moon and the story's main events take place after Season 3 ends.
The cover picture is an original drawing of mine.
Edited by danail24
That is a really long description. You want to tell the story in the actual story. Your description is basically a huge infodump and the exposition all in one. Don't give that to us in the description; integrate it into the beginning of the story.
3580518
Thanks for the tip. Just fixed it.
Nice idea and need to see more
3580536
I would read the story, but I avoid anthro stories like the plague (the only reason I saw this is actually because I didn't know it was anthro before clicking, but I'm not the kind of person to insta-dislike, so I'll leave it alone).
Great work as always.
You have a great sense of writing and the tempo. I am favoriting this one for sure, hope to see more chapters in the future
Another awesome fic by this kick ass author
This is what he first story I read from you and by the prologue I can tell this is going to be good
Awesome story Sketchy Unicorn, I'm going to enjoy this.
well I'm definately going to enjoy this fic
please continue
I think this is a good story, i would like to how everything goes.
kk, once again you have me interested. :)
No.... freaking.... way......
If he ends up having a relationship with RD, then I might as well just do this:
SO AWESOME
If my biology classes have taught me anything, it is that an unborn fetus is never in a woman's stomach. They gestate within the uterus, or 'womb' if you prefer the less-clinical term. Might I suggest changing that? It would sound much better.
3582363
Just fixed it.
3582064
Unfortunately, Dashie won't be in this story. Sorry.
question how can he go to an university in another worl i mean wtf he doen't even know their history. but still good story
Looks really interesting, keep it up.
3582535
It's an art school. The only history he'll be learning is Art History. I can see your concern, though.
Interesting!
The plot fells original for a ponies-contact-our-world story.
I will wait for a new chap.
You use "said" way too much. Be a little more varied and descriptive with your dialogue.
Also, this chapter felt kind of redundant. Kurt Vonnegut once said, "Start as close to the end as possible." This whole chapter felt like information that could have been explained in a few paragraphs of the actual story.
I'll favorite it and see where it goes.
Congratulations on getting featured.
Good stuff.
I just gave you your 100st like and i want MOAR
OK so pregnancy is measured in weeks not months. just so you know
3583109
Wait... I got featured!?
YEEEEEEESSS!!!
3583553
I knew that, but in my personal experience, a lot of women simply say the number of months when stating how far along they are. I wanted the line to sound like a casual statement rather than a regurgitated fact.
Cool! The first person narrative was done well and I look forward to more!
I like the idea of this story and how it is written as well. I'll definitely keep reading this.
Now to see how everyone else over there reacts to Celestia adopting him. I'm calling it now that there will be a scumbag blueblood scene.
Before reading I'd like to say this. Using the conventional method for naming Universities yours would actually be CUA, or Canterlot University of the Arts. Of and the are usually omitted from acronyms such as UF(University of Florida) and as I was told a while ago think about it like this, It's a School of Business not a School for Business if that makes sense. I'll post my opinion on it when I get done reading.
Edit: After reading I say it's pretty good. I'll be tracking this. I'd like to see where it goes.
3583665
Damn, you're good.
Nice, nice! You're going into the right direction with this fic! However! Be careful! The most important part of fic writing is keeping your readers entertained. The Best method is Comedy in my opinion. It's all in the snappy dialogue and the funny mishaps. Also some tension and action help. Oh and Anthropomophic stories.... You've just picked a tall order mate! But don't worry. For that I give you one tip: be descriptive when it comes to the figures of the main mares!
Example:
Luna strolled into the room casting her eyes on me(Marcus). That is when I first saw her. I could definitely see the similarities between her and her sister, her flowing mane, large wings and long horn being some of them. But that's where they ended. Her coat was dark blue and her etheral mane like the deep night sky, besprent with a plethora of stars and constellations. She was just a teensy bit taller than me but still half a head shorter than my aunt Celest. Her pale blue dress complimented her moderate cyan eyes nicely, as well as her lithe figure, with a pair of full round well proportionate breasts filling up the top and strong yet delicate legs protruding from the bottom.
This is what I get for sleeping for 17 hours, thanks for gracing my eyes with this. sorry I read this so late.
3582511 Nice to see you here James of the Grapes.
3583726
I was actually applying your hint earlier today when I was writing the next chapter, and oddly enough, it was Luna that I was describing, too.
The only difference is that I emphasize how different she looked from Marcus's expectation of her.
3583741 Well as long as you give us some good n' sexy description you should make a lot of people fall in love with the story! Remember! It's all in describing an anthro mare's sexy features.
3583756
Note taken.
Of course I had to use Twilight for that comment.
3582445
Good.Have a fave and like.
3583683 No I have just read a lot of stories where people use blueblood like this. I have read one or two stories where blueblood is actually nice (BIG EXCEPTIONS). The thing is a 'peasant' is going to live in the castle and has been adopted by Celestia. It would be impossible for blueblood to not appear in this story as a scumbag.
My eyes!
Her name is Celestia. Princess Celestia.
3584082
*Sighs a despondent sigh*
*Pours self another glass of whiskey*
*Drains glass*
*Sighs again*
*Looks up at the story on the computer screen*
*Looks back down*
*Sighs once more*
*Pours yet another glass of whiskey*
*Starts drinking as rapidly as possible*
*Another sigh*
3584304
You can't fool me, I know you just posted this so you could get attention on Skype.
3583979
Seriously?
3584330
it's true
3584353
How dare you mock a blind man?
3583979
try goggles
markusbucket.s3.amazonaws.com/images/coolstorybro.gif
Hmm. I'm liking the story so far. A nice twist on the cliche HiE fics that are littered all over the place here. Keep 'em coming.
3584408
That is, quite possibly, the single most awesome GIF I have ever had the privilege of seeing.
Thank you.
I think I read this about five seconds after it was published. Nice chapter, can't wait for more!