“Please let me in, Luna,” I pleaded. “I don’t like to see you upset. You know that.”
I put my ear to the door and listened for some kind of response.
The first thing I heard was a heavy sigh. I’m not sure what that meant, but I hoped for the best.
“You can come in,” she finally said, and I let out a sigh of relief. I opened the door and saw Luna lying face-up in her bed. She had changed out of the dress she was wearing earlier in exchange for something more casual.
Namely some elastic shorts and a t-shirt that said “Best Princess”.
I climbed into Luna’s bed, lying down next to her as she stared at the ceiling.
“I saw what happened in the throne room,” I admitted. “You want to talk about it?”
The princess let out another heavy sigh. “I suppose it would make me feel better if I did.” She turned her head to look at me before continuing. “Marcus, you’re more acclimated to modern society than I am. What’s the general consensus on marriage?”
That was… quite the question. I took a moment before responding; I wanted to answer to the best of my ability.
“Well, I honestly can’t speak for everyone, so I can’t tell you what everyone else thinks, but here’s my view on marriage.”
I paused for a moment before continuing.
“Marriage is when… two individuals, who have been in a steady romantic relationship for a long time, decide to make a vow to each other that… that they’ll stay together for the rest of their lives, committed to each other and only each other.”
Luna scoffed. “Rather profound for a seventeen-year-old. Are you simply regurgitating something you read in a book?”
“I know it sounds like that, but that’s really how I feel.”
“By your definition, then, you must believe that when these two individuals make this vow, it should be made after they have already been romantically involved for a considerable amount of time, yes?”
“Uh-huh.”
“That’s what I thought. Which brings us to the problem I’m having: this tradition of interviewing suitors and simply picking one as my committed husband for life seems archaic and rather ridiculous.”
“I can agree with you on that.”
“I don’t see why Withers makes me go through this routine of looking through all the stallions that just want my hand in marriage for the sole reason of earning a position in the royal family. Why can’t I be with someone that I have a true connection with? A committed relationship is fine, but why rush into marriage so soon? I would rather have a normal romantic relationship with someone I truly loved than an empty marriage with someone with whom I share practically no true connection.”
“What would your ideal relationship be like?” I asked, trying to get her to open up more and let out all her feelings.
Luna laid there and thought about it, and then she said:
“It would be a lot like ours.”
I blushed, not expecting that answer at all. It still piqued my curiosity, though, and I decided to pick her brain a little and see what she meant.
“What kind of relationship do you think we have?”
Luna looked up at the ceiling, pondering my question, and then she looked back at me.
“I think that we have the kind of relationship where… There’s an unconditional trust between us.”
“Explain.”
“Well, I feel like I can tell you anything, no matter what it is. I also feel that you can come to me about anything, too, because that’s how much we trust each other. I feel connected to you on a level where I can tell when something is wrong with you and you can tell when something is wrong with me. We can also be ourselves around each other without feeling self-conscious about it. You like me for who I am, and I like you for who you are.”
She stopped for a second to think again; like there was more she wanted to say.
“Lastly, I feel like we look out for each other. One of us is there to catch the other when they fall. I feel like you would do anything for me, as I would do anything for you.”
Luna looked back up to the ceiling again, wondering if she had anything else to say. She shook her head to herself and looked back at me.
“Yes, that’s the kind of relationship that I think we have.”
I laid there staring at her in awe. I tried to form words, but I failed every time I tried. No one had ever spoken that highly of me before.
Not to my face, at least.
“I never thought you felt that way about me,” I told her.
Luna giggled. “In that case, you don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“I guess not.”
“So, Marcus, do you feel the same way I do? About our relationship, I mean.”
That was a good question. Did I feel the same way about my relationship with her? I wasn’t entirely sure. My first instinct was to say yes, but my conscience told me to think before answering.
Let’s see. I do trust her unconditionally. I do feel like I can tell her anything. I don’t feel self-conscious around her, and I do feel like I would do anything for her.
The only part that I wasn’t sure about was the part about knowing when something was wrong with her. I mean, I only know that she was upset about the whole marriage thing because I happened to see her in the throne room earlier. I’d be completely in the dark if it wasn’t for that.
“Marcus?” Luna said, snapping me out of my thoughts. She looked at me with a fearful face. She had just poured her heart out to me, and here I was, taking forever and a day to respond to her. I had to at least say something.
“Yeah,” I told her. “I think so…”
Luna gave me a satisfied smile, and then she reached out and pulled me into a hug.
“Thank you Marcus. I feel a lot better now.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” I said with a smile, and then the princess let me go.
“Well, I’d hate to leave you, but I need to get going.”
“Really? Where to?”
“I need to see your sister about something.”
Luna tilted her head in confusion. “I thought you were supposed to be avoiding her.”
“Oh right! I forgot to tell you, I’m off punishment. Everything’s all good now.”
She chuckled. “That’s good. In retrospect, I should have suspected as much considering you’re seeing me in person without any guards accompanying you.”
“Yeah, it feels weird now. I was getting used to it.”
“Well, I’ll see you later, then.”
I nodded my head and left Luna’s room, and then I set off for Auntie Celeste’s room. Like I said to Luna a minute ago, I needed to see her sister about something. What was that something?
I needed some advice.
Yeah, I just said that. I needed some advice. Girl advice. From my aunt.
Don’t judge me. It takes a real man to admit that he needs help.
Unfortunately, Celeste’s room was a whole seven-minute walk from Luna’s. In an effort to make the time go by faster, I hummed random songs to myself.
The technique worked at first, but then I came across something that set me back a little.
Wait, did I say “something”? I meant “somepony.” Somepony whose voice sent shivers up my spine when I heard it.
“Marcus! Over here, sweetie!”
I looked behind me and saw that it was none other than Honey Pot who called out to me.
“Fuck!” I thought. “Not her! ANYpony but her!”
I immediately increased my pace, hoping to get away from that crazy cougar of a mare. Once I rounded the nearest corner, I started to run.
Celeste could wait. Getting away from Honey Pot was more important.
I made sure to make as many turns as I could, hoping that she wouldn’t be able to find me, but…
“BOO!”
I yelled in shock as Honey Pot jumped out of a corner and scared me.
“How… How did you…”
The maid flipped her mane smugly and chuckled. “I’ve been a maid at this castle for years. I know it like the back of my hand, so that means I know all the shortcuts.”
Honey Pot then walked closer to me and brought her face uncomfortably close to mine.
“It’s pointless to run from me, Marcus. Cute, yes, but pointless.”
It was then that I caught a whiff of the scent permeating from her mane. It smelled like… coffee? That’s weird. I expected it to smell like honey simply because of her name.
Wait… why the hell should I care!?
I put my hands on Honey Pot’s shoulders and gently pushed her away. “Ever heard of personal space?” I asked. “And since when do you call me by just my name?”
The mare giggled, which made her boobs bounce a little with a nice flop. “Well, I figured that after the intimate moment we shared yesterday, you wouldn’t mind if I was less formal when addressing you.”
I rolled my eyes. “That was anything but intimate.”
“Oh, by the way, did you find my gift?”
“Unfortunately.”
“And what did you do with it?”
“I contemplated burning it at first, but I just hid it somewhere.”
Honey Pot giggled again, and it really started to creep me out. She then got closer to me again and wrapped me in a hug, her large cushions pressing against my chest.
I tried to think of something that would keep me from getting aroused.
“You know,” said Honey Pot, “while I simply love this little game of hard-to-get that you’re playing, part of me I wishes you’d just cut the bullshit and admit you want me, already.”
Well, somepony’s delusional.
“You know… There are ponies of which I’ve heard of. I believe they call them… ‘creepy stalkers’! And there is such a thing called ‘sexual harassment’. Maybe I should just quit running and simply report you.” I threatened turning her own little come-on against her with a stern retort. My patience with this mare was running really thin, really fast.
“Oooooooh~ You’ve suddenly turned into the forceful type. I like that, but please relax, my master. I am simply here to serve you. Perhaps I can… ‘convince’ you to drop your charges if I… help you to relieve the tension that has been plaguing you lately.” Honey spoke with a much softer tone, one that made me feel funny. She then moved her hands to the muscles between my shoulders and began massaging them, which made me breathe much easier as my mind began to get hazy. “Trust me, I know when a man is torn up inside. A mare can feel those things.” she whispered in my ear.
“Aren’t you cold in that skimpy outfit?” I asked trying to change the subject. Luckily for me, I had just managed to suddenly snap out of whatever spell she had just put me under. “It’s November, and all the other maids are wearing coats over their uniforms.”
“Humph. While I appreciate your concern for my health,” she answered with a disappointed tone as she let me go. “I’d rather not cover up my assets.” She then bent forward, showing off the massive valley of cleavage in her dress.
Seriously, it looked like her breasts were about to pop out at any moment.
“Besides, if I covered up, how will you be able to see my beautiful babies? I know you miss them.”
“Trust me, I don’t, and I hope I don’t see them again anytime soon.”
“Oh, come oooooooooon! Stop denying it. Admit it, you know you want another chance to cop a feel.”
“Will you leave me alone?”
She stood there and smirked. “Your lips say ‘leave me alone,’ but your hormones say-”
“‘Go away’.” I finished for her.
“Alright, fine. I’ll go. For now, at least. I’ll see you when I come by your room with your dinner.”
“No you won’t,” I said smugly. “I’m not grounded anymore, so you won’t be taking meals to my room anymore.”
“Heh, I’ll still see you around, sweet cheeks,” she taunted as she passed me by. She tried to smack my butt with her hand, but I anticipated it and caught her by the wrist.
“Cut that shit out. It’s getting old.”
“Ooh, feisty. Honey likes,” she said, licking her lips as deliberately slow as possible. She made sure her tongue made a full round over her chops, coating them with saliva. Her eyes lit up in satisfaction when she noticed me unintentionally follow the movement, to which I cursed myself mentally for.
Ugh, that had to be the most lecherous thing I have ever seen a mare do in front of me, yet! It was like being dumped in a bathtub full of grease! I shuddered and continued walking away from her. The further away I got, the better I felt.
“Oh, and one more thing! Have fun jerking off to my photo, pervert! I know you’ll be doing it every night before you go to bed!” Honey Pot’s voice called out from a distance, ending it with the demonic cackle of a succubus.
Aaand, me feeling better just went down the drain at the mental picture she had just forced on me. Awesome.
I eventually made it to Auntie Celeste’s room, and I knocked on the door once I got there.
“Who is it?” she called out.
“It’s Marcus,” I answered.
“Oh! Come in, sweetie!”
I chuckled at her excitement and walked in. When I entered, I saw my aunt reading a book in her bed.
“What’cha reading?”
“Oh, it's just a romance novel that your mother introduced me to.”
“Really? What’s it about?”
Celeste closed the book and cleared her throat. “Actually, it’s best if you don’t know. It’s not very appropriate.”
I raised an eyebrow at that? What kind of romance book would be inappropriate for me?
Then I remembered: my mom was into those erotic fiction novels, so with that in mind…
There’s no way she got Auntie Celeste into that kind of literature, too!
I sighed inwardly and walked up to my aunt, taking a seat next to her on the bed. “Listen, Auntie. I need to talk to you about something. Something serious.”
Celeste’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, really?” she asked. “What is it?”
I sighed nervously. “Before I tell you anything… promise me you won’t tell anypony about it.”
“I promise,” she vowed.
“Okay…” I said as I prepared to tell her about my dilemma. “There are these three mares that I really like, each for different reasons, and I don’t know which one I like the most.”
“Torn between three mares, I see. If I may make a guess, those mares that were with you at the party, are they two of the three?”
I blinked in surprise. “Um… yeah.”
“And the third mare is Honey Pot, right?”
I felt my eye twitch when I heard that. “What!? No! It’s somepony else!”
“Oh really?” she asked, surprised. “Then who?”
“It’s… um…”
What was I gonna tell her? That I had a crush on her little sister, who was my aunt-by-adoption? Something told me that she wasn’t going to take it well. Even if I tried to explain to her that I didn’t even see her as my aunt, that wouldn’t help at all. I sat there silently, wondering what I was going to say.
“It’s okay, Marcus,” Celeste crooned, putting an arm around me and pulling me into her shoulder. “You can tell me. I promise I won’t judge you, whoever this mare happens to be.”
I sat there, my head rested against my aunt’s shoulder. The feeling of her silky coat against the side of my face did well to ease my nervousness, but I was still scared to tell her that I liked Luna.
“What if I told you,” I said quietly, “that the third mare I liked… was your little sister?”
No response.
This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. She wasn’t saying anything. She must have been absolutely disgusted with me. What was I thinking!?
Just then, I felt Celeste put her other arm around me, and she softly embraced me.
“I wouldn’t be mad at you,” she whispered.
“Really?” I asked in disbelief. “You don’t have any problem with it? I mean, she’s my aunt. It would be the same as having feelings for you.”
“While something like this is rather… unheard of, and while I’m not one hundred percent comfortable with the idea, at the end of the day, I can’t tell you who you can and can’t have feelings for. That isn’t my right.”
Well, while she didn’t say that she was completely on-board with the idea, I still felt that sense of support that I was hoping to get.
“Would you have a problem if I ever decided to choose all three?”
“Of course not, Marcus. However, if you want my honest opinion, I think you’d be better off in a monogamous relationship.”
I looked up at her with a questioning face. “Really? Why?”
“While it is true that having multiple partners isn’t uncommon in Equestria, a romantic bond is stronger when shared between just two partners, in my opinion. You’re the only ones that matter to each other, and your love for each other will be much stronger because of it.”
I reflected on what Celeste just said, and she had a point. I had said something similar to Luna not too long ago, but hearing it from someone else made me think about it on a deeper level.
“Also,” Celeste continued, “I feel that you only want to be with all three mares because you don’t want to hurt any of their feelings.”
“Well, yeah,” I said with a matter-of-fact tone.
My aunt sighed. “Unfortunately, Marcus, that’s not a very good reason.”
“Why not?”
“There are times in life where you have to make choices, choices which, no matter what you decide, will end up hurting someone. I’ve been a princess for over one thousand years, and I’ve been in this situation many a time. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from those experiences, it’s that if you try to please Everypony, you’ll ultimately end up pleasing nopony, especially yourself.”
“That sucks…”
Celeste nodded. “Yes, it does, but it’s a part of life that we all must deal with. If it’s any reassurance, I’m certain that if Rarity, Octavia, and Luna like you as much as you like them, they’ll be happy for you no matter which of the three you choose.”
A pause.
“Are you sure?” I asked, looking up at my aunt.
She looked down at me and smiled. “I’m positive.”
Just then, I realized something.
“Wait, how do you know Rarity and Octavia’s names?” I asked.
Celeste merely chuckled. “I’m well acquainted with both mares. Octavia’s ensemble played at the Grand Galloping Gala about a year and a half ago. As for Rarity, she’s a close friend of a former student of mine.”
“Really?”
“That’s right. She’s even helped to save Equestria on multiple occasions.”
“What!? You’re lying!”
“Nope. Despite this, though, her and her friends’ contributions usually go unnoticed.”
Great. As if I didn’t have enough of an inferiority complex among my peers.
“That aside, I think the best thing you can do is be honest an up-front about your feelings. I don’t know about human females, but when it comes to us mares, we prefer the direct approach.”
“And how do I do that?”
Celeste smiled and put her finger on my nose. “You’ll have to figure that out on your own, nephew. I can’t give you all the answers.”
While I was a little frustrated at that, I couldn’t deny that she had a point. I couldn’t just have all the answers handed to me. This was a problem that I needed to figure out on my own.
“I guess you’re right,” I admitted.
“That’s what I like to hear,” Celeste said with a smile. “Oh, and in regard to Luna, she’ll be an exception to the ‘direct approach’ that I just mentioned. I think you should take some time to truly figure out how you feel about her before you admit anything to her.”
“I thought you said that you weren’t going to give me all the answers.”
“Well, I won’t give you any more answers starting now,” she giggled, and she gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey! Don’t do that!” I protested.
“What? I figured that since we’re on good terms again, we could return to that ‘five hugs, three kisses’ deal we had going on.”
“Celeste…” I growled.
“Okay, okay, how about three hugs and two kisses?”
I sat there grumbling. There was no way I was getting out of this.
“Fine,” I conceded. “Oh, I was wondering, why did you think that I liked Honey Pot?”
“Oh… I just had a hunch,” she said suspiciously. “Oh, and I also found this photo in your room.”
Celeste waved a picture in front of me, which she seemed to grab out of nowhere, and my pupils shrank when I saw what it was.
It was the picture that Honey Pot gave me on Nightmare Night.
“I figured that you’d harbor feelings for your ‘kinky kitty’,” Celeste teased. “So, how did you even get this picture from her?”
I grunted in embarrassment and frustration. “All I did was ask her to run an errand for me, and now she thinks that I have a thing for her. I don’t see how getting a bowl of Nightmare Night candy would make her believe-”
“Okay, I get the gist.” Celeste then leaned in closer to me. “Be honest with me, though, did you have some fun with this picture last night?”
I immediately moved away from my aunt and got off of her bed. The notion! The very notion that she thought that I would sit down and stare perversely at that photo, take off my pants, and grab my… Aaaaaaargh! Even Honey Pot made fun of me in that way not fifteen minutes ago!
“That’s it, I’m out of here!” I said, throwing my hands up.
“Oh, come on! I’m just teasing! It’s fine if you do, though. Everyone likes to get in touch with themselves from time to time!”
“LALALALALALALALALALALALA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!”
“Do you at least want the picture back?”
“You can keep it!” I yelled as I ran out the door and closed it behind me.
“Ah, boys,” I heard Celeste reminisce from inside her room. “They’re so easy to tease! Maybe I should give this picture to Luna and let her have some fun with it!” she told herself.
Oh God, no. Anything but that. As if Luna didn't have enough to tease me about! She would have a field day with that picture!
Just when we were having a nice, heartwarming moment, Celeste had to fuck it all up with that picture. I thought she told me that she wasn’t going to stay in my room for long!
Maybe I should have burned that picture, because I’m starting to think that I might be cursed.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!
WAHAHAHHAAHHA!! Marky talked to Luna. Marky talked to Honey Pot (This is my slap-a-bitch moment) and Marky talked to his Auntie! WAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! THE TALKS!!!! Though I legit wanna Slap a bitch..... *coughhoneypotcough* GREAT JOB!!!
Awwwww that's cute.
Loved the chapter dude, that moment marcus and luna shared was real nice. Same with him and celestia Now im wondering who will he truly fall for.
I like the tension with Honey Pot and Marcus. It makes me laugh. I foresee some sort of awkward scene with her and with some of the other mares…*coughLunacough*
This is gunna get interesting :pinkie happy:
Love the story by the way! Absolutely LOVE IT!
I'm just waiting from the suggestive pics from Rarity and Octavia. -insert evil laugh here- But all things aside. What the hell is with Honey Pot? Is it estrus for her or something? I'm just waiting for the point Marcus wakes up with Honey in his bed with nothing on but a thong. Course that would be crossing a line that there is no going back from.
I'm going with Luna on this one.
Lovely work :) .
What if he has feelings for Celestia? What if he likes her in a more intimate manner?
I feel as though Marcus has better self control than almost any male I've ever heard of. Seriously, he's seventeen(eighteen?) and he has this attractive girl (Honey Pot) all over him. Even if he really is not interested in pursuing her, her advances should be having a more profound effect on him. You don't even have to go right down boner-road here, just give him a little more reaction. I mean, come on, when a girl is just about shoving her boobs in a guy's face, he should at least be flustered. At least, that's how I see it from a character like Marcus, who isn't very comfortable with sexuality.
Maybe I'm letting a little personal bias show through. I've read a lot of romance fics like this, where the guy is about as at peace with his sexuality as cats and dogs are. After a while, I just want to see the guy man up and be able to look at a pair of boobs without freaking out.
XD Celest the troll. Keep up the good work!
I personally think he should be with Rarity and Octavia, but that's just me. Btw my Marine Corps Sgt. has a kid named Soarin.Isn't that FUCKING AWESOME!? I've known this guy for almost a year and I didn't even know he had kids. Small world huh.
s2.favim.com/orig/28/funny-homer-pig-simpsons-spider-pig-Favim.com-236154.gif
Ya know I'm kinda interested to see how he'll get it through honey pots head that his not interested but I'm a bit scared about what she'll do after
What the hell was that part? Seriously it was great and fun up until that last part it…its was cruel Honey Pot its just making him feel horrible and Celestia is just 'teasing'? NO, nonononono NO, bad author bad, don't do that again, everything else I love it but that last thing with the photo? NO! absolutely no, its was not fun it was not a tease it was down right cruel for the poor Marcus
And what the hell do you mean with fun? how is Luna going to have fun with that? Its doesn't have any sense?
Though Honey Pot seems too "forward" to be a love interest she is a great source of comedy. Always at Marcus' expense of course. Heck maybe there will be some weird twist where things don't work out with the others and Marcus ends up with her.
I don't actually expect that, but it would be entertaining.
Marcus..., prepare thy anus, and thy painis...
3773416
Think about it: Luna loves to tease Marcus enough as it is. Imagine the ammunition she'd have if she got her hands on that photo.
Im convinced #TeamHoneyPot
3773491
Ok it makes a bit more sense now, but still I think up until that photo everything was great, and I hate a bit that now they are going to tease him with that, isn't that kind of dangerous? I mean Honey Pot ITS doing things illegally and making Marcus get uncomfortable maybe even start to fear a bit, he could start to have nightmares now.
I really hope either he gets a way for Pot to get the point across and leave him alone or the princess get that he is genually suffering more than be embarrass about the whole thing, well at least I think he is suffering
Gah, who should he be with! I think it's bewteen Luna and Octavia for sure. Good chapter.
Needs a slight change.
th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2013/359/2/6/luna__blame_my_sister_by_amorecadenza-d6ygthh.png
I'm starting to expect Marcus to lash out physically in one of his Honey Pot encounters.
You are a fast writer! And a good one too!
I'm loving this story!
3773491
He'd probably pass out as soon as he sees her with it!
i still think he should get with all three
I have a feeling what might happen in the future, and it'll be all Honey Pot's fault. Liked the update, keep it rolling!
So am I a bad person if I desperately want a side story where Honey Pot rapes Marcus/Marcus gives in and screws Honey Pot's brains out.
OMG I laughed sooo hard at that. I like the fact that you went ahead and made her bisexual, it adds to the stories universe.
3773541
Oh God, that's EXACTLY what I was thinking when I wrote that scene!
3773826
Actually, what I meant to convey was that Luna would use the photo as ammunition for her usual taunting of Marcus.
I see where the confusion was, though. I'll edit the line to make it more clear.
3773839 Haha... dang I was really hoping you did that on purpose. Oh well, I can still pretend that's what you mean. Haha.
I love the parts where Marcus and Honey Pot interact, i also think it would be funny if Octavia, Rarity and Luna saw them when Honey Pot is "talking"with Marcus.
.........................................................................................................................................................................TEAM LUNAMARC FOREVER!!!!!!
3773839 Well I just read a scene that was better than that on Brushed Away 2
I GIGGLED at that for a good five minutes.
I'm just waiting to see Mama Bear Celeste protect Marcus the Cub. It will be epic.
3773362 Yes! Finally someone who sees Celestia as a valid harem candidate!
3773864
You're welcome to do that. I imagine Luna to be bisexual anyway.
3773888 3773362
Yeah, no. Sorry.
3773899 Aww cmon, if Luna and Mark get together it's fine but if Celestia gets with mark it's suddenly wrong.
3773906
It has nothing to do with whether it's wrong or not. It's just a matter of me not wanting to do it. Celestia's role in the story is not that of yet another love interest. Her role is the supportive mother figure that tries to be supportive of Marcus and will do anything for him, as if he were her own flesh and blood.
Yes, she loves Marcus, but it's motherly love.
3773948 Fine, even though I incested that you should do this. The authors and admins choice is final, pardon my comments.
3773960 "incested"....
Not sure if misspelled or bad pun.
He just needs to bang Honey Pot and get it over with. If she gets some lovin', maybe it'll scratch the itch and she'll leave him alone.
this is one of the more abandon post moments
the chapter was amazing, it had quite the delivery system and made the characters seem real
3773376 Dude, he's not freaking out because he's afraid of Honey's boobs! He's ashamed coz he's getting aroused by her boobs and yet doesn't simply want to get it on with her. Plus she's so lascivious that it kinda grosses him out (the lip licking scene).
now guard free, i can see it happen that honey pot will slip into marcus room at night and have some fun
3774503
I took another look at it, and I see your points, kinda. I'm saying that a seventeen year old boy wouldn't normally be able to prevent any arousal from a situation like that, it'd just plain happen. I'm also trying to express how while he does comment on what she does, we don't get a real clear feeling of how it is effecting him, other than that he does not like her advances. But just because he doesn't like her coming on to him, doesn't mean that he isn't feeling any emotions involuntarily. For example. the part in the scene where he's looking at her cleavage and noticing that her girls are about popping out, it's like he isn't at all effected by the fact that he's nearly seeing boobs (which, I assure you, is something that all heterosexual males are aroused by). He just seems to casually comment that they're nearly falling out, without really expressing how he feels about this. Even just a thought along the lines of "Does she have no respect for herself?" would help characterize Marcy-boy.
All I'm really trying to say is that I think a little more insight into what exactly the character is thinking and feeling would go a long way for the characterization in this story. I'm just bringing up specific examples to highlight areas where doing so would especially help. I do enjoy the story, I just am trying to give helpful feedback here.
3774601 Well, I guess we just need to put in more arousal and denial of that arousal in the story I guess.
Tablet died, had to switch to old iPhone 3s, no regrets other than the cracked screen. I did what I had to, to finish the story of course
your a seventeen year old male with a hot chick on you crush her
3774199 No i meant what I wrote.