• Member Since 14th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen June 6th

AlliePastel


To be continued...

Comments ( 163 )

Not bad but this is obviously channeling ARBPW's "Mother's Don't Need Manuals" and that in and of itself kind of spells trouble. Your idea is good but it's already been done and clearly done better. And F.I.Y Applejack's dog is Winona not Fiona. :facehoof:

And if you think I'm being harsh then I would not recommend letting Darkentrophy see this because he'll rip it apart. :twilightoops:

This idea could be better and hopefully it will improve. :trixieshiftleft:

3012650 Wow, thanks for pointing AJ's dog name out It was an honest mistake but thank goodness I can correct this.

As far as the conflict goes I don't most will suspect the route I will be trying to take with this story. Quite frankly (Not to spoil much) But I'm trying to offer a more realistic reaction of the other ponies to this life style Fluttershy has taken. I've been making the story as I go along but I think in the end I can deliver on my promise of this being more on the physiological side of infantilism then the fetish portion.

Also I really enjoyed "Mothers Don't Need Manuals" It's one of my favorite fics on this site, however in my opinion "Pattycakes The Remake" Is the most well written story in my opinion :twilightblush:

3012765

Baby Cakes? Don't you mean Pattycakes: The Remake? Either way, thanks for that.

3012841
Silly me :twilightblush: Yes I meant "Pattycakes". It was the best written story on the website (In my opinion) and it deserves the praise :twilightsmile:

cover image? i see none.....

3013040
I've been having a technical issue that I hope to get resolved :)

3012650 Hey! "Don't let DarkEntrophy see this." is my line!

3012650

3012910
> It was the best written story on the website
Now that's just full of shit, and I'm not talking about the diaper.
img5.joyreactor.com/pics/post/funny-pictures-auto-jj-jameson-story-385945.jpeg

3014090 Gotta say now i"m a little bit concerned that "DarkEntrophy" is going to see it :applejackunsure:

Aside from some issues in grammar and some words that don't need capitalization, this is a good and interesting story so far. I haven't read "Mothers Don't Need Manuals," but it sounds interesting. One other thing: I wouldn't suggest you just make this up as you go along. In my experience, this tends to lead to writer's block. I find that sitting down and actually planning the story, point by point, helps with the writing process and doesn't make some things look like you completely pulled it out of your ass.

Comment posted by Legendoflink deleted Aug 10th, 2013

3019085
Thanks for the advice, there isn't much I can do about grammar as my fondness of reading and writing has really just started. However I assure you I'm working on it. Also the first chapter was the only one that I thought as I went along, I now know the direction I'm going in and I'm planing on releasing the newest chapter soon :pinkiehappy:

All I have to say is go to youtube and watch this video
/watch?v=NGg_7OhyGCM:twilightblush:

3024317
Omg, that video made me laugh so hard! I'm not going to pull a Fluttershy kidnapping/babying Twilight though. For that I recommend Patty cakes parts 0-2, :pinkiehappy:

Intresting though I'm kind of surprised Twilight doesn't seem phased at the fact that she broke the rules and resurrected the dead. I hope that's not a sign of something. :twilightoops:

3024801 Well, atleast she did it without turning Winona into a zombie. :pinkiehappy:

Damnit Twilight you made Flutters cry:fluttercry:

3037218 Well true but still reanimating the dead does seem like something that would be rather disturbing. But then again after all Twilight's been through the emotional tramua she might have endured is probably no worse then anything her enemies have inflicted upon her. (Especially Discord and Sombra).

I would except that reaction from Rarity or Rainbow Dash or even Applejack but I don't know about Twilight. She'd probably be more of the "So shocked she's speechless" type. Struggling to put her thoughts into words. :twilightoops:

The part with the wing... ugh, I hate that stuff, please keep that to a minimal...
But this is getting interesting...

3052281 Yeah, that whole emo moment came out of nowhere and felt like OOC behavior even for Fluttershy. And then everything just happened really fast. It felt kind of like reading "Pattycakes" in the blink of an eye. :twilightoops:

Hopefully you've improve on the next chapter. :eeyup:

3085547 Yeah, I cried writing this. Trust me, I believe you'll like the next chapter :ajsmug:

Kind of sad but the sudden jump made it confusing about whether it was a dream or real life. :applejackunsure:

A few grammar errors but other than that, nice story so far

I think Fluttershy got a diaper rash. :twilightoops:

Chapter is nice but please quote some dialog's! it's annoying to read non-quoted dialog's. :raritydespair:

this is really happening fast

Indeed it is. You seriously need to slow down, take your time and patch things up. :eeyup:

In other words this is how you're writing and how you shouldn't be writing:

3146504
The real problem is maintaining active conflict throughout the story. However, especially with this chapter I have to agree it was rushed. Trust me, I've been trying to write at consistent pace however responsibility's in real life have been a taking up my time. Trust the chapter of the story I've been most proud of is "Mother" and the next chapter will hopefully be more akin to it. :twilightsmile:

Good luck on the next chapter. :-)

all I'm gonna say is lots of spelling errors through the entire story.

You seem to be getting better but Fluttershy just suddenly started feeling insecure again. :eeyup:

3177934 My only comment over that is that she hates bringing up the topic of her fetish (If you call it that). It's quite hard to explain, but if you've ever brought up something sensitive to someone (Especially to an introverted personality like Fluttershy) they tend to get defensive and or start feeling insecure. With a personality like Fluttershy (Which I've determined is ISFP) they usually judge themselves harshly and tend to openly accept criticism especially from those they love. If you don't know what ISFP is it's one of 16 results from the "Myer Briggs Personality Test) :twilightsmile:

3181380 It just seems odd to see her relapse, especially considering Twilight already told her she took care of her for 3 days.

“No, Fluttershy it’s my fault. My behavior was uncalled for in the first place” Twilight said placing her concerned hoof unto Rarity’s shoulder.

Rarity? :rainbowhuh:

There is so many problems with this story so far but I don't think it's unsalvageable. There is certainly some good in there. I think a good proof reading and a few revisions could fix up most of it.

3195631 Wow, thanks for pointing this out :rainbowderp: I'm rather busy right now, I'm about a month into my education and I'm getting more into rhythm of writing. I spend about 15-45 minutes working on these when I get a chance. I've been trying to sit down and write these in one or two sittings at a time but it's strenuous to do so and keep continuity in the meanwhile. I'd appreciate if someone would help me proof edit, If not I'm thinking about just re-writing a few of the chapters.

ugh none of this makes sense anymore.....

You're missing a lot of quotation marks in some parts, but other than that, the concept is really good so far

3216022
Why thank you :twilightsmile: , within the next two weeks I'm going to revise the whole story. Try to edit any grammar mistakes really. The next chapter will be out most likley between this Friday-Sunday :pinkiehappy:

Again kind of jarring and rushed. I feel like you're just not putting 100% into this. I still like it and will follow it for now but you still haven't earned that upvote. :eeyup:

3216871 Heads up the next chapter comes out tomorrow :ajsmug:

This story is really good. :twilightsmile:. Good luck on the next chapter. I'm going to encourage you to make more chapters. I've never read a story as good as this one. Am I smothering you too much? :twilightblush:

3263634 Awh, why thank you! :twilightblush: I assure you I will continue to make the story, I just was rather preoccupied with some school work and last week was my schools "Fall Formal" :twilightsmile:

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