• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Midnight Shadows


Been a member since 2012, never realized there was a bio line until the end of 2018, I TAKE WRITING COMMISSIONS! :D lol. I don't do roleplays.

Comments ( 18 )

Great story and I really have no constructive criticism but you for got to capitalize One of Midnights name
P.s. maybe you can read my story called my day in ponyville

1728178

Sure I'll check it out :twilightsmile:

Put on my read later list :twilightsmile: Just don't be mad if it takes me a few days to actually get to it, reading and writing isn't the top priority I have right now, lol....

It looks promising :twilightsmile: Can't wait to read it.

Hm I really don't know if this fic could be rated mature, I guess ultimately it is kind of feitsh material since Midnight actually enjoys it. :applejackunsure:

1728456

Talk to the moderator about that. It was originally rated teen. Which I thought was totally acceptable considering there are far more...intense fictions like this rated teen, but its not really my place to go against the moderators, and once I fixed the problem they approved it right away so I'm honestly fine with it.

Your dialogue attribution is wrong. Use this guide: http://fictionwriting.about.com/od/writingexercises/qt/punctuation.htm

The exposition itself was telly and dry. Not a whole lot that can be done about this from my end. Only thing you can do is read a story with plenty of style and see how its writer handles it. Real, published work, by the way, not something written in the fandom.

1728871

I'll be sure to take that into account next time I write a story, thank you. (At lease somepony is nice about pointing out errors, lol.)

Pretty good for a first attempt. It's a bit dry though. Though I do like the "foal" and "mother" interactions.

The only thing I didn't like is how strikes me as a reskinned Pattycakes with only one major difference: Midnight is into foal-play and Dash isn't.

1728871, there are some fandom writers who rival professional writers.

1729188

Well for a first attempt at this specific type of story I would say its pretty decent, I just needed something solid to go off of so I took the idea and used it, my future stories will be completely original, I will probably reuse the characters from this story though.

1729188
Yes, but I find the stipulation is necessary, lest the recipient of my advice turns to some third-rate, two-bit, one-handed writer with zero actual skill for their infinite inspiration,

Not a bad little story...i don't care for the pattycake'sesque setup but your writing is good. The Mother -Foal bit was sweet...Hope to read more from you soon!:twilightsmile::

1728526

I'd say from a rating point of view if you were to go into description about the wetting and messing then it'd have to go into the mature rating. But if its just harmless age play then it should be teen. Teen for fetish material, but its not going into such mature lengths.

1780400

Well ever since one of the story moderators told me it needed to be mature I just rated all of my stories mature since then so I don't get in trouble. Easier that way in my opinion.

1780472

Hrm, I guess you can't argue with them.

When I started the Pattycakes story I kept it at teen. I guess the Moderators haven't looked for it yet.

4168319

It's not mod abuse, sides the person who approved it isn't a story mod anymore as far as I know.

She opened the jar and used her wing to grip a soon.
Do you mean:
She opened the jar and used her wing to grip a spoon.
I've not read story for so long finally I can read it again. This is just the best. Although I did comment 4 months back but this is literally the best story I've ever read. And by the way. how much do you even love Pattycakes?

6676302

I wrote this story in December of 2012. So to answer your first question: I've no fucking idea. Lol.

To answer your second question: Eh, it's okay I guess. Kinda weird, kinda cloppy, I flip flop on how I feel about the pattycakes stories. I do like the rewrite one that's humanized, it's less weird and less cloppy. So I can't give you an answer to that question because sometimes I hate it and other times I like it.

cute and very adorable story -claps hands-

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