• Member Since 21st Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen September 13th

Toraka


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Sickness does not need to mean isolation. As two ponies come to her in a time of need, Sweetie Belle comes to understand that. Some lighthearted d'aww of Sweetie and a hospital visit.

Inspired by the cover art.
Christ, didn't expect ever to say that sentence.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

I will admit, it is a nice story, but not a pleaser for me. If you elaborated on the concept, maybe added some more details, it would've been better.

That being said, I can see this in FiM.

No up-vote or down-vote. It deserves neither from me.

hey iv taken a copy of this to review i'll post a link to my page
once the review is up I hope up
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Slash-wing-my-little-pony-FIM/339895572794546?ref=hl

2971660 I agree with this. Explain what Sweetie Belle's illness is, provide more details about the hospital and the nurse. And just generally flesh it out. :eeyup:

This could produce a lot of daws if done right. :heart:

2972064>>2972294 In addition, it seems like you just did the bare minimum, a rookie move. Considering some of the other stories, you are way past that stage. I'd suggest rewriting this, make it more compelling. 1000 words is minimum, but 3000 is inviting.

2971660 2972064 2972294 2972789
Give them a hand, and they'll take off the arm...
This was an intentional brief experience, focused on it itself. Still, I suppose it can be expanded and rewritten. We hav ze teknologee :pinkiehappy:!

Just want to mention, the reason this doesn't focus on the nurse is because the nurse is a certain OC of mine, who is canonically dead and who shall be written about no more. However, desecration as a side character, often without actual mention of name, is fine. I foresaw the OCKKK hating on me for using too much of her, so I cut it short. Check over at SatN to learn more.
Overall, this is a parallel universe of more or less that. The same coin, in a different perspective. Dead, or cured. Eluded, or infected. Couragous, or cowardly.

Still, nothing says I can't do a ME3 on this one. Petite et recipere, though after national holiday holiday.

A short tale demonstrating what it means to be a friend.:twilightsmile:
It is obvious that even bullies may have hearts of gold hidden down below.:raritydespair:
The Crusaders must never separate.:pinkiesmile:
Excellent work, dear Author.:pinkiehappy:

Awesome. Friendship is magic.

And suddenly I'm reminded of when I got my tonsils removed.

3248933 Well look who's come crawling back.

(No other comment necessary nor provided. Feel free to ignore parts or the entirety of the above statement if they do not concern you and/or me being dumb and not remembering that this was submitted before the whole business that got me libranned for life and ever. Though I don't think it was.)

3251627 That feel, brother. Don't actually know it, but spent a week in hospital in March after having a rotational osteotomic surgery. In layman's terms, the "doctors" sawing my leg apart to readjust an incorrect rotation of the joint.

Could've done so much more with this. Oh well. I think we both know how different it feels to be in a hospital than you'd imagine beforehand. You try to look tough and act like you're annoyed that they waste their time with you. In truth, you're glad they're here, you need them here, for your own sanity, so that you don't lose yourself in the grind and the pain. Understanding that pain, the edge where you're driven to test your own breaking point... it changes a human. Separates those who write hospital fiction for d'aww from those understanding it.

3251824
If you were banned, it was before I became an admin, so this is the first I've ever heard of it. I didn't even see this story in the submissions folder; I just added it because I know a good story when I read one.

3256794 Ssht, be quiet. I need to bask in my own awesomeness some more.
Aw yeah.

I was sort of aware of that, and if you could do something about me being banned because the group decided that my story was a different category than it was explicitly written to be, that'd be grand. However, on the other hand, I'm pretentious enough already that I can just let my pawns (not necessarily including you) do the work of submitting my stuff, so it's not that I'd really need to do it myself. Hell, I could literally tell them to do it to minimise delay. Shows ya what good the ban system does.

Aww yeah, my own awesomeness is so warm and comfy.

I find it interesting that I found this story in the Silver Spoon group...

3386081 Just let it happen :heart:
To be clear, I had nothing to do with that. Maybe they just wanted to let the world see its beauty. Considering that my name is enough to get into any group that knows me, perhaps. Perhaps somebody figured the mention of the little dickieswas enough to add it into that group.

Comment posted by ServingSpoon deleted Nov 16th, 2013

3386081
Yeah what gives? who's bright idea was it to submit this to Silver Spoon group? She is not even mentioned.:facehoof:

3498040 She's technically mentioned. Fifth to last paragraph.
Still, people smrt, I suppose.

Looking back at it, I have to whip out my quote from the woman after giving birth. What is this, why is it so fluffy, did this actually come out of me, and why?

3498074
err.. okay:twilightoops:
I mean I don't know what woman would say "why is it so fluffy?" but anyway:twilightsheepish:

Thanks for letting me know she got mentioned. I went ahead and voted thumbs up because what I read was good but I decided to skim for mention of my fav pony, given the Silver Spoon group I found this in.

I was hopeing that Silver and DT might pay a visit and offer their concerns for a fellow classmate. Most likely at Silver's insistence.

The meeting would have been very awkward and good for drama. but.. still very well written.

3498101 Get used to it, my analogies are often like that. Also, you have terrible taste in ponies, I just have to mention.
(Although Silver Spoon is actually pretty decent, unlike DT. Hum.)

That would have been a blessing, wouldn't it. If only this had been more than a 1k fluff infusion. Eh, add it to the list of things I'd do if I had more than two hours of time each day.

3498124
heh heh:twilightsheepish: well not all my taste is bad. Luna is BEST PONY over all but Silver Spoon is a close second for me. like so close they almost overlap:raritywink:

An in RP as Silver Spoon I have come to love and respect DT the way she would. Before my RPs on tumblr I hated the little pink pest! I didn't even want to bring her in with my Silver "Serving" Spoon.

But she grew on mme like fungus:pinkiehappy:

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