Affection
Second floor, going left from the stairs, down the corridor, second to last door on the right. Scootaloo had only heard the directions once, yet they burned in her mind as she and Apple Bloom raced through the hallways. They had already wasted hours upon hours at school, now there was no second to lose.
A seeming eternity later, they had finally reached the hall's end. Without slowing down, they pushed through the door, almost crashing into the unicorn behind it; That she managed to avoid them had to have been a feat of magic. "Ah, apple and dodo. Lovely of you to come visit your friend to miraculously speed up her recovery." She pulled Apple Bloom's ribbon straight with a spark of magic, then moved back to the door and said, "Right now, she's caught in the in-between. In other words, she's really missing some sleep, but can't get it due to pain. She didn't exactly pick a gentle one to get. I've already given her the cure, of course, but it'll take some time to work. She's safe to approach, though. Probably. Not that I'd know. Enjoy yourselves and don't stress out my patients too much, fillies." She disappeared into the hallway.
"Uuh? Oh, hey Scoots, Apple Bloom." Sweetie Belle's head rose off the pearl white pillow, only for her eyes to clench shut and force her to drop back down. "Ngh, why did it have to be me, why now."
"It's gotta hit everypony sometime." Scootaloo scanned the room. It was in immaculate order, with all of the equipment and furniture scattered around it forming a grid she couldn't discern, yet there were disruptive splotches of colour all around; A card from Rarity sitting on the night stand, what looked like hoof-drawn pictures hanging on the walls, and of course Sweetie Belle herself. She had already taken a visible hit, her pale lips, ruffled mane, and baggy eyes testified that. Still the glimmer of life burned bright within the darkness that the emerald rings around it failed to cover up. "Could have it worse, I think."
"Tell that to my head. I think it's trying to convince me of the opposite. Have a seat, please." Sweetie indicated towards the lower end of the bed. Since it was built for adult ponies and she was sitting up, there was plenty of space for two fillies there. "You don't have to be suffering when I am. Anything new in school?"
Once she and Scootaloo were lying on the bed, Apple Bloom reached into her bag and pulled out a few sheets of paper. Most of them were covered in fillies' writing, notes that they had taken for her, while one held Cheerilee's clear, sharp lines, forming an exercise sheet. "Nothin' much, we kept goin' on algebra and Equestrian history 'bout the princesses. Miss Cheerilee told us to give you that one and Twilight said you should keep practicin' yer magic. She wants ta come by later today to check on ya. Better'n that" – Apple Bloom took three tiny buckets out of her bag – "we gotcha some ice cream."
"Great." The green aura of Sweetie's magic surrounded one of the cups of ice cream, though it refused to move. Eventually, she gave off an annoyed moan and let the energy disperse. "Provided that I don't die in here. Why did this have to happen to me, right–" She was silenced by Scootaloo forcing a spoon full of sweet goodness into her mouth. "Thanks. I needed that."
"Everypony at school is hoping that you'll come back soon," said Scootaloo, pushing the opened can of ice cream towards Sweetie. "Even Silver Spoon said she's worried about you. Somehow. Wouldn't have expected it, but I guess she does care about you after all." If there had appeared a sparkle in Scootaloo's eyes, she was quick to hide them and turn her head away. "You're stronger than this, Sweet. Just come back to us."
Sweetie Belle attempted magic once more. This time, the spoon even obeyed her commands, though it was only thanks to a quick hoof reaction that its contents didn't spill onto her face. "I'm trying, but I don't really have a say in this matter. I'll have to stay here until" – Sweetie shifted into a deeper voice, at least what of it her young throat was able to produce – "she's satisfied with my looks and vitals." She released a high squeak, out of annoyance or perhaps to flush her vocal chords. "Who knows how long that'll take. Honestly, I'd be happy just to catch a break and get some sleep."
"She's a lovely pony, isn't she," said Scootaloo, rolling her eyes as she dared show them again. "Anyways, hang on in there, I know you'll manage. We're literally just waiting for you to get out." Despair gave way to hope as a faint smile reclaimed her face.
"Yeah, and once ya do, we're gonna do triple shifts crusadin'!" Apple Bloom hopped off the bed and threw away her ice cream packaging. "Applejack's comin' back soon, and she promised ta help us make over the club house. Ya know, fix the floorboards, clean out everything, that sorta thing." She jumped back up and took Sweetie into a deep hug, which Scootaloo soon joined. "It's gonna be the crusadiest crusadin' we've ever done! We'll get our cutie marks for sure!"
Once given room to breathe, Sweetie Belle said, "Thanks girls, don't know what I'd do without you. You're the..." She didn't have time to finish her sentence as sleep took her, once and for all. Careful as not to wake her up again, the remaining Crusaders snuck away under the sounds of her gentle breathing, turned off the light, and left.
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I will admit, it is a nice story, but not a pleaser for me. If you elaborated on the concept, maybe added some more details, it would've been better.
That being said, I can see this in FiM.
No up-vote or down-vote. It deserves neither from me.
hey iv taken a copy of this to review i'll post a link to my page
once the review is up I hope up
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Slash-wing-my-little-pony-FIM/339895572794546?ref=hl
2971660 I agree with this. Explain what Sweetie Belle's illness is, provide more details about the hospital and the nurse. And just generally flesh it out.
This could produce a lot of daws if done right.
2972064>>2972294 In addition, it seems like you just did the bare minimum, a rookie move. Considering some of the other stories, you are way past that stage. I'd suggest rewriting this, make it more compelling. 1000 words is minimum, but 3000 is inviting.
2971660 2972064 2972294 2972789
!
Give them a hand, and they'll take off the arm...
This was an intentional brief experience, focused on it itself. Still, I suppose it can be expanded and rewritten. We hav ze teknologee
Just want to mention, the reason this doesn't focus on the nurse is because the nurse is a certain OC of mine, who is canonically dead and who shall be written about no more. However, desecration as a side character, often without actual mention of name, is fine. I foresaw the OCKKK hating on me for using too much of her, so I cut it short. Check over at SatN to learn more.
Overall, this is a parallel universe of more or less that. The same coin, in a different perspective. Dead, or cured. Eluded, or infected. Couragous, or cowardly.
Still, nothing says I can't do a ME3 on this one. Petite et recipere, though after national holiday holiday.
A short tale demonstrating what it means to be a friend.
It is obvious that even bullies may have hearts of gold hidden down below.
The Crusaders must never separate.
Excellent work, dear Author.
Awesome. Friendship is magic.
tinyurl.com/mbho6go
And suddenly I'm reminded of when I got my tonsils removed.
3248933 Well look who's come crawling back.
(No other comment necessary nor provided. Feel free to ignore parts or the entirety of the above statement if they do not concern you and/or me being dumb and not remembering that this was submitted before the whole business that got me libranned for life and ever. Though I don't think it was.)
3251627 That feel, brother. Don't actually know it, but spent a week in hospital in March after having a rotational osteotomic surgery. In layman's terms, the "doctors" sawing my leg apart to readjust an incorrect rotation of the joint.
Could've done so much more with this. Oh well. I think we both know how different it feels to be in a hospital than you'd imagine beforehand. You try to look tough and act like you're annoyed that they waste their time with you. In truth, you're glad they're here, you need them here, for your own sanity, so that you don't lose yourself in the grind and the pain. Understanding that pain, the edge where you're driven to test your own breaking point... it changes a human. Separates those who write hospital fiction for d'aww from those understanding it.
3251824
If you were banned, it was before I became an admin, so this is the first I've ever heard of it. I didn't even see this story in the submissions folder; I just added it because I know a good story when I read one.
3256794 Ssht, be quiet. I need to bask in my own awesomeness some more.
Aw yeah.
I was sort of aware of that, and if you could do something about me being banned because the group decided that my story was a different category than it was explicitly written to be, that'd be grand. However, on the other hand, I'm pretentious enough already that I can just let my pawns (not necessarily including you) do the work of submitting my stuff, so it's not that I'd really need to do it myself. Hell, I could literally tell them to do it to minimise delay. Shows ya what good the ban system does.
Aww yeah, my own awesomeness is so warm and comfy.
I find it interesting that I found this story in the Silver Spoon group...
3386081 Just let it happen
To be clear, I had nothing to do with that. Maybe they just wanted to let the world see its beauty. Considering that my name is enough to get into any group that knows me, perhaps. Perhaps somebody figured the mention of the little dickieswas enough to add it into that group.
3386081
Yeah what gives? who's bright idea was it to submit this to Silver Spoon group? She is not even mentioned.
3498040 She's technically mentioned. Fifth to last paragraph.
Still, people smrt, I suppose.
Looking back at it, I have to whip out my quote from the woman after giving birth. What is this, why is it so fluffy, did this actually come out of me, and why?
3498074
err.. okay
I mean I don't know what woman would say "why is it so fluffy?" but anyway
Thanks for letting me know she got mentioned. I went ahead and voted thumbs up because what I read was good but I decided to skim for mention of my fav pony, given the Silver Spoon group I found this in.
I was hopeing that Silver and DT might pay a visit and offer their concerns for a fellow classmate. Most likely at Silver's insistence.
The meeting would have been very awkward and good for drama. but.. still very well written.
3498101 Get used to it, my analogies are often like that. Also, you have terrible taste in ponies, I just have to mention.
(Although Silver Spoon is actually pretty decent, unlike DT. Hum.)
That would have been a blessing, wouldn't it. If only this had been more than a 1k fluff infusion. Eh, add it to the list of things I'd do if I had more than two hours of time each day.
3498124
well not all my taste is bad. Luna is BEST PONY over all but Silver Spoon is a close second for me. like so close they almost overlap
heh heh
An in RP as Silver Spoon I have come to love and respect DT the way she would. Before my RPs on tumblr I hated the little pink pest! I didn't even want to bring her in with my Silver "Serving" Spoon.
But she grew on mme like fungus
That was a good story.
Wonderful little story!