Toraka
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Well, there ya have it, folks. This is what happens when I write a oneshot. This experiment was... interesting. First off, with generous assumptions, this has probably taken around 6-8 hours altogether. Not too bad a time, really, if what you're producing isn't shit for the feature box.
But this brings together some things which I haven't before. Twilicorn, pony pov, present tense, (mostly) fluffy plot... all of them were applied before, but I've been lacking the exact combination. Oh yes, dialogueless is also a trait which I've explored very little, especially when there actually could be some. Yes, the ponies talk, but show me a real situation where talking is avoided entirely. And while you're at it, find a quotation mark within this fic. It reminds me of that one novel, except that that occasionally also applied direct dialogue, but didn't feel the need to mark that in any way, shape, or form. I've tried to avoid indirect dialogue and description blending together here. You can thank me later. By watching and boosting this fic into feature. So really, you can also do it now.
Originally, this story was more dramatic, without the afternoon's events as they are now. But I figured why the bloody hell not. After all, my only points were the preposition of "Living Reminder" and the end scene, anyhow. Nothing wrong with that, of course, that's how I started my novel as well.
I wished I could talk about the deep message behind this, but really, then I'd be pulling stories out of my arse, wouldn't I. Moreso than usual, I mean. So I suppose the only thing that I can do is to point that you should really check out when and how she mentions her own name and be amazed. Be amazed at my awesomeness, sheeple!
I am suddenly reminded of an essay I once wrote. I didn't feel the topic all too well, so I slapped down a bunch of crap, made it look like pretty crap, and handed that in. It wasn't particularly long or on topic, but anyhow.
The next lesson, the teacher read it aloud. And everybody from my even distant surroundings and their hamsters wanted to read it, because apparently it was such an amazing piece of poetry. Hey, I don't mind free top grades. Humanity is so easy sometimes. Perhaps I do possess more talent than everyone else on this site combined, as tells me only about anyone who has ever seen a letter of my writing, but I'll prefer denial in favor of what I receive due to the RNG.
Now remind me to never again slave through an entire day and part of its night to write crappy oneshots. You know, like the last 10 times. God dammit, you had ONE job!
Anyhow. Doctor Awesome, we're done here.
Twidash was really sudden but otherwise no complaints.
the twidash at the end killed it for me
2344677 Consider the following:
2351044 i.imgur.com/BD0js.png
What would you consider worse; Offend a recessed homophobe, or pass up on the glory that being able to submit your stuff into the TwiDash fandom brings, as well as miss an ending so sweet I'm fairly certain you could literally use it as laxative?
Yes, it is sudden and all. But doesn't it fit with the theme of Twilight clinging onto her memories of a life past? After all, is there exact information on how long she's now been a princess?
Anyway. I've added an alternative ending which avoids that, for your pleasure.
2351983
See...The Twidash bump is best bump
The way I see it, at least the part that I'm able to express, Twilight and Rainbow Dash share something that she couldn't live without. Part of what I mean is that since Twilight now living in an incongruous manner, a life that is full of masks and mendacity, it is only her connection to Rainbow Dash that allowed her to be free.
There's more to it, but as of right now this is all I can express.
2351044 I agree. It's still a good story though
2363902 Ssssure, that's exactly what I meant to express. Well, the original thoughts was that, as literally unknown amounts of time tear away at Twilight's mind, Dash is one of the few things that allows her to cling onto her past, that which made her what she is, what keeps her from giving in and becoming a robot, a slave of protocol.
However, of course, while she supports Twilight's mind against the court's influence, she also sustains her freedom more literally. By giving her opportunities, excuses to be free, she forces her not to accept her life and keep up herself. Basically, in addition to aiding in her fight, Rainbow also ensures her will to fight never fades.
2364128 Edit: I really should read the referrals better. Well there's now an alternate ending for people like you.
You would be surprised how rare that kind of user is, that which not only shares its opinion on the piece, but also allows its message to actually form a respectable opinion.
2364223
The author's light tends to shine the brightest when looking at their story.
The Twidash as a reader would have been more manageable as a reader if you had hinted towards it in your writing as you went along. Not pointing out Rainbow herself but the fact she has a partner.
Question: Is Rainbow Dash Immortal?
EDIT: I am confused! Your comment on the next chapter make it seem like Twilight is Dreaming or Hallucinating, is she?
2366478 1. I'll see what I can do.
2. No. But, according to my hints, is Twilight?
3. Nope. As said, this story is still set within the lifespan of the other Mane 6. Besides, the whole alicorn = immortal thesis is ponycrap anyway. Perhaps they simply have access to powerful anti-aging spells, but would Twilight use them?
Also, you owe me an explanation as to why this fic got such a boost overnight.
2367428 Alicorns arn't "immortal" I am just using the word because they live very long lives.
We already know that Alicorns arn't immortal because [CANNON SPOILER] Twilight will ultimately succeed the throne of Celestia
2367459 Do they? Well, for the purposes of this fic, it's as good as immortal. So what I'm saying is that Twilight won't because she's a false alicorn, one of Those Who Came Before if you've read SatN.
Also, where did you get that? I sure hope not from an official source, right? *sighing facepalm* It's getting harder to keep faith in the writers than in religion, and we all know what anybody with a functioning brain should think about Him Who Rules Everything But Can't Be Arsed to Actually Do Something.
Besides, who said it had to be age? ... yup, murder. In a kids' show.
I wonder if I'd still be following the show if it weren't as fucked up as it is.
Also: Edits are
nearlydone. I've inserted discreet passages here and there, as well as one slightly less discreet passage. Look out for that in a bit.2367473 From Lauren Faust in the Brony Documentary. Although she no longer has anything to do with the show the fact that Twilight is now indeed an Alicorn and happened faster than Lauren liked (source unknown) I would not be surprised if the spoiler were to happen too, hopefully at the end of the show though.
EDIT: Come on, there are a few shows that are just as if not more fucked up as MLP. I think the difference here is you expect it to be less so because it is targeted towards girls.
2370293 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_med6veIenp1rqt0kqo1_500.jpg
Certainly, there's stuff like the Happy Tree Friends. Oh yes, and Ren and Stimpy. And... well, I grew up in the period of fucked up cartoons. Maybe that's a reason why I'm so fucked up. (If you don't know that, don't google it.) However, you need to look at the ratio of fucked up to target audience.
Let me briefly list exactly how fucked up MLP is:
Can I stop? Yeah, six year old girls. I wonder when they'll have the Equestria Girls' boy's clothes fall off and the only piece around is an empty storage box for chocolate which may contain nuts.
Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually did that.
Added to Twilight's Library.