Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor ask their mutual bedmate Chrysalis to bring them coffee. What they get seemingly defies the laws of known physics and is likely unfit for consumption. This doesn’t stop them.

Based off a noodle incident out of Breaking in to Avoid Being Broken that seemed too be good to be simply left as that.

Thanks to Tired Old Man, Nova Quill/Firimil, and
Steel Resolvefor their edits and suggestions and, of course, coffee.

Everyone knows that making friends is hard. Keeping them long enough to defeat several evil villains bent on world domination, and a few ponies who are just jerks, with nothing but the sheer power of friendship and good feelings is even harder.

Wouldn't everything be easier if you just had a gun?

Let's find out.

Coverart and the concept as a whole is from that guy named tjpones, go look at his stuff.

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

Apple Bloom wants to see her parents, the Cutie Mark Crusaders want their cutie marks, so they do the the only logical thing and try to raise the dead.

Can these three amateur necromancers pull it off without bringing back something twisted and wrong or a horde of the undead?

Tagged 'Sex' for a bumper crop of farm innuendos.

A slice of life side story to Love Call of the Sirens. For those of you who haven't read it and want to read on, the abridged version is "Twilight dumped the Dazzlings on Button Mash's mom and now they are ponies for some reason."

Aria Blaze goes to Twilight's to borrow a cup of sugar because that's what neighbors do, right? Things rapidly go downhill faster than anyone, even Aria... especially Aria, could have predicted.

Starlight Glimmer vector by Illumnious.

Aria Blaze vector by Osipush.

Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle have a few drinks together... Okay, maybe more than a few. This is followed by a desire to do some science. This simultaneously goes much better and much worse than the girls would have expected.

Thanks to Novel Idea for the story prompt inspired by this great comic by Crydius.

As it turns out, the Shadowbolts all have the same secret. They each have a huge crush on CHS' star student, Sunset Shimmer. Watch the struggle as these highly competitive girls each try to win Sunset's heart. Who will win?

Inspired by and written for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons.
That's why you don't make me have ideas!

Edit: 10/8/17 Three hours and already "Popular Stories", you're great!
Edit: 10/8/17 Featured! (When Mature turned off; that still counts, right?)

Princess Luna, Sunset Shimmer, and the Great and Powerful Trixie meet in a bar every Friday for drinks and to chat.

This is what they chat about.

An episodic story updated whenever I think of anything new. Will probably never be marked "Complete".

Rated Teen and Sex for risque conversations. No actual sex. Has a little Sunlight shipping; as usual, I cannot help it.

Cover image compiled using the super-cute vectors created by arifproject and used with permission. Go take a look at all his adorable art!

Many thanks to FanOfMostEverything for being kind enough to preread the first three five all the chapters for me!

Twilight once thought she knew everything there was to know about cutie mark magic. She was wrong. As it turns out, there is a lot more content out there when it comes to cutie mark magic, unlocking that potential is something not just any pony can do, much to the frustration of a certain white-coated alicorn princess.

This is a dumb one-shot vaguely inspired by a writing prompt found on Reddit, and was a caffeine fueled midnight adventure into the wonderful world that is fan-fiction.
As my second ever fanfic, first ever completed fanfic, and first upload on this site, I don't expect greatness, but what better way is there to learn and improve?

Feel free to point out any errors I might have missed, as well as anything that is particularly irritating to read, or that doesn't make sense grammatically. Most of all though, hope you enjoy!

Teen tag is for the use of a naughty word or two (depending on what you consider naughty or not)
Cover is by the ever amazing Evehly, used with permission.
Source: https://evehly.deviantart.com/art/Art-663778952

Edit: Featured? Thank you so much everyone, this is heaps more than I had hoped for, I really appreciate that!