• Member Since 10th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 21 minutes ago

Sporktacles


I love sporks. And I love soup. Those two things unfortunately don't go together very well.


T

Princess Luna, Sunset Shimmer, and the Great and Powerful Trixie meet in a bar every Friday for drinks and to chat.

This is what they chat about.




An episodic story updated whenever I think of anything new. Will probably never be marked "Complete".

Rated Teen and Sex for risque conversations. No actual sex. Has a little Sunlight shipping; as usual, I cannot help it.

Cover image compiled using the super-cute vectors created by arifproject and used with permission. Go take a look at all his adorable art!

Many thanks to FanOfMostEverything for being kind enough to preread the first three five all the chapters for me!

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 278 )

Graveyard shift worker, be back later to read

Well this should be fun.

Sunsets a seasoned drinker in Equestria, but in the EQ world she's not even old enough to drink, lol. Hahaha. This fic looks like a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to more. After I finish reading the next two chapters anyway...

Comment posted by Phoxjes_Rome deleted June 1st

Flashing your pretzels at other ponies on purpose is considered really rude.

Pffffffttttt, HAHAHAHAHAHAAA! I don't think I've ever heard it put like that before. :rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh:

Well this should be good. I do see that Sunset was a huge brat under Celestia as well.

...That was really funny and then it took a turn for the feels at the end...

Looks like all the drinks will always be on Trixie or Luna considering Sunset has no Equestrian money.

Maybe its my taste in comedy. But I really would have liked it if Trixie kept listing punishments and it being revealed that there was still a need to narrow it down further.

Can we have Starlight or other characters join in at some point?

8204159

The list was originally a lot longer, but I was afraid of it getting too repetitive. At one point the last one was going to be super specific, only for Sunset to reveal that she'd done it to three different ponies. Also, I didn't want Sunset to be too evil :P

Excellent, you left in Luna's entrance. I'm looking forward to seeing what other shenanigans you have in store. Feel free to ask me to proofread future chapters.

Surely, if Trixie, then Starlight.

8204167
Ever read Order of the Stick? There is a similar thread where it's revealed the principal villain has no idea who the avenging main character is despite having killed his father's master directly in front of him. Only remembers when its pointed out it happened on a Wednesday.

They actually do, but these aren’t brewed by cows. These are brewed by ponies in the style of a beer that was first made for cows in Brahmindia

Or rather it was made for the Bitish pony soldiers who were in Brahmindia to "protect" the cows.

Seriously, IPAs were made how they are (stupid strong and hopped to hell and beyond) just to keep it from spoiling on the way to India. They only started getting worshipped as the pinnacle of beerdom like, twenty years ago. Bitter = better has certainly wasn't a rule till recently. More just bitter = probably won't have a fault that will get you sick. If beer development went anything like it did here, Luna wouldn't expect beer to be bitter at all as the stuff she's used to was brewed with meadowsweet or some other herb.

8204262
Canonically, it's supposed to be a Tuesday.

8204005 Considering how much of a delinquent Sunset was (before the rainbow laser), maybe she's been drinking in human world too.

Huzzah, two of the best ponies together! Er, not in that sense, but rather as drinking buddies. :pinkiehappy: (Why are there no Luna or Sunset emoticons?)

Good thing for Rarity that Luna doesn't outlaw clothes. I wonder if Applejack's hat counts as clothes or just being useful for a farmpony. And that sure took a turn for the somber at the end.

Huh, Sunset sure was a little terror, surprised Celestia let her get away with that for so long. Unless Sunset really was the only unicorn that stood a chance of standing up against Nightmare Moon in a battle (until a certain other bookhorse showed up). Good thing a little humiliation mostly balances things out.

Glad to see another Sunset fic from you. At first I expected it would be as a follow-up to the other fics, but interesting to see a more serious fic. And its always fun to see Sunset and Luna bonding.

Cherry smiled cautiously. “Uh, would you like me to bring you another?”

I somehow misread this line as, "Uh, would you like me to bring your mother?"

“SUNSET SHIMMER! You will pay for the indignities that Trixie suffered at your hooves! Trixie demands that you step outside and grant her immediate satisfaction!”

“Will you feel better if I let you give me a swirly right now in the bar washroom?” offered Sunset.

Twelve teenaged fillies lined up for them daily... go for it, Trixie. :trollestia:

8204160

I do plan on guest characters, yes. But it'll be mostly the main three.

8204389
8204005

I dunno about you, but virtually everyone I was friends with snuck at least a few cans of beer during their teenhood. It was dumb, pointless, and I frankly hated the taste, but we all did it just to feel "grown up" and be naughty.

8204284
In case it isn't obvious by that last statement above, in my group of friends, *I* am the toffee-cider-drinking wuss, and to me all beer is bitter (it may surprise those who read my long list of booze-and-sex stories that I in fact very rarely drink at all, except to socialize with friends that do). Everything I know about IPAs is from one of my closest friends, who loooooves the stuff. My reaction to the taste of IPAs was pretty much the same as Sunset's.

"Great news, Twilight! Trixie has come up with a way to finally clear the air between the two of you!"
"That's wonderful, Starlight. Er, wait a minute - it doesn't involve a magic duel, does it?"
"Oh, no. Nothing like that. "

how you keep the balance of laugh out loud moments, the feels, and reverting back to normal convo is amazing.

ill never get thar AN pic out of my head till i die.

res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--y-B3_Oc1--/t_Preview/b_rgb:c8e0ec,c_limit,f_jpg,h_630,q_90,w_630/v1446237990/production/designs/267402_1

also, i'm hella glad you're not releasing this once a week.

Nice story. I'm more for cider myself, so I'm with Sunset on this. Rare is the beer that I actually like.

There's only one thing wrong with this story -- there isn't MORE! :yay:

I got lulz and feels. Can't ask for much more. Following.

STAR WARS!!!!!

8204356
Love that line. Sad that he went shortly after, but at least Raul Julia went out on a memorable note.

“I frankly do not. Of all the stories you and Twilight have brought of the human world, the fact that they wear clothes is not among them.”

It was about here that the image of Princess Luna going to the human world to spread the freedom from pants to them flashed through my mind.

8205072

Uhm, why? I plan on releasing new chapters whenever something new pops into my head. I would have thought people would love a regular update cycle.

Wait wait wait. Ok I never comment on anything but... did I really spot a subtle Dune reference in there? Cause if so hot damn!

8204952
Wait, what? Ah, man, I think I went into some kind of beer-snobbery-induced fugue state there. Sorry about that. Has Obnoxiously Strong Opinions About Beer is but one of my many exciting personal flaws.

8205397

The booze must flow! He who controls the booze controls the universe!

A story featuring best three waifus? Nice.

You went from hilarious to feels to hilarious again.

I think I actually got whiplash from that...

I love these slice of Life fics. I'll definitely be interested in seeing what happens now.

*sees lack of Oxford comma in title*

Literally unreadable.

8205992

You HEATHEN! The Oxford comma is an abomination against good sense, civilization and apple pie! (Note my defiant lack of it in that last sentence!) Begone, good sir! I scoff at thee!

...Seriously, though, believe it or not, I debated internally for ages about whether to include it. I wanted to so much, because I liked how the title looked with it, but... I just couldn't. I've been taught never to use the Oxford comma except to dispel ambiguity (Because since we write "Red and Black" we similarly write "Red, White and Black"), but it's something that I keep violating in my regular writing because I really really really like the way the comma denotes a pause (you'll note that I totally used the Oxford comma in the story description!). But to do it in a title... the visage of my old English tutor's disappointed face would be unbearable.

Eh, stuff it. Changed! Teehee, I feel like such a rebel!

8206047 lol, the Oxford Comma us certainly a thing of beauty and of contestation isn't it. It warms my heart to see literary debate (and I don't know why!) in such a setting!

Damn, have you got a knack for dealing emotional whiplash.

I expected this to be stupid.

I was not wrong.
it's stupid in a good way

8204005

I'm not surprised. Other countries such as Europe, the drinking age can be as low as 16.

Given Equestria, Sunset quite possibly was having wine in small amounts before she got her cutie mark. It IS a royal castle after all.

I'm pretty sure Sunset is technically more of a runaway than an exile. She left Equestria of her own free will and is only hesitant to return out of embarrassment and shame despite Princess Celestia even mentioning she wants her to return.

Comment posted by tab01 deleted June 3rd

Human society is dependent on this black oil they dig out of the ground

Sunset is clearly failing in history. And physics. And chemistry. And economics, if they have any such class.

so they wear clothes at all times to keep warm – even in summer

And geography.

8205434
I've brewed a few 6-gallon batches, and appreciated the discussion of IPAs. Tell you what, I'll one-up you so I can be the bad guy here instead of you.

“I had thought the art of distilling perfected a thousand years ago. Never have I been so happy to be wrong! Oh…”

Beer is brewed, if you distill beer, you'd get something like a beer-flavored vodka.
Actually, that might be good. :derpytongue2:

8205320 bro, you dropped three chapters in one day. if you were going to do the whole regular schedule, are we going to get three chaps each drop? then i got no complaints.

I absolutely love a story that updates frequently, but the demand of keeping up with that schedule could become taxing.

really, the only one i know of that kept quality and frequency was norris the pony's coffee in equestria.

8206727
Understandable, given that all she's seen of a humanoid world is a high school full of beings we'd regard as bizarre aliens from space.

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