//------------------------------// // Clubs // Story: A Princess, a Magician, and an Exile Walk Into a Bar // by Sporktacles //------------------------------// Luna took a sip of beer and smacked her lips. “We should form a club.” “We should?” asked Sunset and Trixie simultaneously. “Indeed! Trixie tells me she comes to Ponyville very often these days. We could make our visitations to this bar an official weekly event!” “Err…” Trixie looked at Sunset with narrowed eyes. “I'm not sure. Simply because I’m not mad at Sunset anymore doesn’t mean I want to be her friend.” “I understand.” Sunset smiled. “It’s a lot to have to put behind you.” Luna sighed. “True enough. Sunset’s bullying was very much unacceptable. Especially since I gather that she singled out you, specifically.” Sunset blushed. “I was a very emotionally insecure filly with severe anger issues and Trixie just happened to have the single most bullyable face in history.” “Sunset! Do you truly wish to aggravate her after all your efforts to settle your differences?” “Eh,” said Trixie evenly, “I get it, actually. I burned those glasses long ago. Trixie wears contacts now, her acne’s completely cleared up, and her gorgeous mane is the envy of mares everywhere!” Bemused, Luna took a closer look at the photograph in the yearbook. “Eugh!” She winced. “I concur. I hate bullying in all its forms, but your childhood countenance fills me with the urge to stuff a locker with it.” “Why do you want us to form a club, anyway?” said Sunset. “There’s nothing wrong with just meeting up in Ponyville and having drinks.” “I like clubs.” Luna pouted. “Celestia and I used to have one when we were younger, but we no longer fraternize as much as we used to. And I have read so much about secret clubs. We could have a secret hoofbump, or badges! And most importantly, our club could have a name!” “THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE AND HER DRINKING BUDDIES!” declared Trixie. “I like the sound of that!” Sunset and Luna slowly turned to her, clearly unamused. “Oh fine, I’ll give you two equal billing.” Suddenly, her face fell and her ears drooped. “Well, uh… if we really end up being friends, t-there’s something you really need to know about me first.” The other two gave her curious looks. Trixe scratched her head nervously, eyes downcast. “I didn’t mention this before, but there was one time that I might have used an evil artifact and tried to enslave Ponyville.” She sighed. “I’m very sorry I did it, but I can understand if you don’t want to be friends with a pony with a past like that.” Luna coughed. “I think everypony is well aware that I tried to overthrow my sister, conquer all of Equestria, and plunge it into eternal darkness. I would hardly be one to judge you, Trixie.” “And I committed treason. Twice!” Sunset chuckled. “Once when I was just a foal, and the second time, I stole Twilight’s crown, turned into a demon, and tried to take over Equestria.” Trixie stared at her incredulously. “…Why does Trixie suddenly feel like such an underachiever?” “Oh!” Luna suddenly sat up. “I have it! We are a diverse group of ponies who have all once been seduced by dark magic! We should call ourselves… The Ensemble of Dark Horses!” Sunset blinked. “I was going to say that sounds a little like a cheesy supervillain organization, but strangely, that somehow feels… metafictionally appropriate?” “Uh, just a moment,” said Trixie. “Sunset turned into a demon and tried to take over Equestria? How did I never hear about that?” “Oooh. It’s a little complicated.” Sunset tried to take another sip of cider, only to find her mug almost empty. She finished it and sighed. “I kind of used a magic mirror to flee to another dimension where I plotted to use the Element of Magic to turn a school full of sentient teenage apes into a mind-controlled army.” “You’re joking.” “Nope! Totally serious. I got crazy jealous of Twilight, stole her crown, and tried to use it to conquer Equestria just to prove that I was better than her,” said Sunset. “And then she kicked my flank six ways till Sunday, promptly forgave me, and now she lets me stay over at her castle whenever I want to visit Equestria.” Trixie went quiet. “…You were jealous of Twilight and went crazy trying to prove you were better than her?” Sunset nodded. “It’s a long story. I have a lot of childhood issues.” Trixie suddenly smiled and turned to the bar. “Cherry! Bring my new friend here another mug of cider!” Cherry filled another mug from the tap and brought it over. Sunset took it gratefully, but turned back to Trixie with a curious look. “What was that all about?” “Just shut up and drink, Shimmer.” “Very good!” said Luna, grinning madly. She raised her glass. “TO THE ENSEMBLE OF DARK HORSES!” Trixie groaned and rolled her eyes. “You can call us that if you like, but please don’t ever shout it in public again.”