• Member Since 31st Oct, 2015
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Marwile


Your weird, german nerd || MUWAHAHAHAHAHA... I think of myself to have a good evil laugh.


T
Source

As it turns out, the Shadowbolts all have the same secret. They each have a huge crush on CHS' star student, Sunset Shimmer. Watch the struggle as these highly competitive girls each try to win Sunset's heart. Who will win?


Inspired by and written for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons.
That's why you don't make me have ideas!

Edit: 10/8/17 Three hours and already "Popular Stories", you're great!
Edit: 10/8/17 Featured! (When Mature turned off; that still counts, right?)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

"That’s great, Sunset! I’m so happy, I could take you right here.”

Sunset tried to suppress a blush. “Ehh…Yeah... Maybe let’s not do that here. I’m certain our kiss already pushed the boundaries of this place.”

I'd read that, no boundaries here...:raritywink:

Take this, suckerz!
That’s what ya get for not letting me finish!
Go Lemon Go Lemon Go!
<(*-*<) ^(*-*)^ (>*-*)>

XD F-yeah, go lemon! :yay:

“Dibs on Twilight Sparkle!” they all shouted and raised their hands at the same time.

Oh dear :rainbowlaugh:

That was just brilliant. I loved it! :rainbowlaugh:

This story was awesome. I have read one other SunZest ship story, and this one is a little bit better than that one. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

“Dibs on Twilight Sparkle!” they all shouted and raised their hands at the same time.

So is a sequel in the works :ajsmug:

8357532
Sorry to disappoint, but there probably won't be one. It would be pretty hard to pull this off again in a sequel. Maybe if there'll ever be a Twilight Shipping Contest.

8357707
I think you should make a sequel too. I really enjoyed this. :ajsmug:

This was fantastic. Only a few edits you need to make, but the overall story was great!

I really didn't see that twist, I thought Sunset would be with Sci-Twi lol.

This gave me some amazing laughs. Awesome job.

Sunny: "Hmm, should our shipping name be Sun-Set or Sun-ny?"

Ok that was pretty great :twilightsmile:
Love the magical girl sunny reference as well!

this was great i loved it i was expecting things to get violent thoe like have the girls grab sunset and start tug of warring with her

Yeah… Alright… No, I won’t say it…. I won’t say it… No… *sigh* Sun ya… Now you owe me one.

This is the point where I was totally confident I had figured out the twist: Sunset was dating the native-world Sunset.

And then when Sunset kissed Lemon, I thought Lemon had gone over and said something like "Hey Sunset, sorry about this, but I just made a bet with the girls that I could get you to kiss me. Can you help a friend out here?"

But nope, I thought I was being clever, but I was totally blindsided instead. :pinkiegasp:

Great story!

Ah, such a comedy of errors. I was totally expecting the human Sunset to come walking through the door, but I enjoyed the twist and the fact Lemon trolled them so handily.

8359711
8359745
Thanks you two for telling me I was actually subtle with my foreshadowing:twilightsmile:
I really appreciate your comments (as well as everyone else's)

I see I'm not the only one expecting Sunset/Sunset :rainbowlaugh:

8359799
There have been a couple of them, and it is always amusing.

Holy french fries mate, I frigging love this! 10/10 man.

“Dibs on Twilight Sparkle!” they all shouted and raised their hands at the same time.

Question: Which one? Does that mean a potential threesome is in the works?

8382674
They only know one as far as I know.

I admit, I was completely convinced Sunset was dating the native Sunset. Completely and utterly convinced.

8393571
Look through the comment section, you aren't the only one:rainbowlaugh:
And the best part, it was completely unintentional:twilightsheepish:

8393600
You've created a mass conspiracy! Either that, or many of us subconsciously ship Sunset with herself...

8393612
Probably both:derpytongue2:

“-let’s say, kiss me before her girlfriend walks through the entrance, you’ll all owe me a meal. Otherwise I’ll owe each of you one.”

The four Shadowbolts watched as Lemon approached Sunset. The two greeted each other. They talked. Sunset started laughing. Suddenly they embraced each other. And then they… kissed.

Four jaws hit the floor.

“Looks like we owe her a meal.”

Wait - didn't Lemon play herself here? She bet that she'd be kissed before Sunset's girlfriend walks through the entrance, otherwise she'd treat them to meals. But since she was already Sunset's girlfriend (secret or not), that means that she had already walked through the entrance before she was kissed. Thus she owes them all meals.

8394294
A bet like that only counts from the moment you make it and because Sunset was already waiting inside Lemon never actually walked through the entrance during the crucial part of between making the bet and the kiss, thus she wins. A classic case of Loophole Abuse.

8394523
Nope, I wouldn't agree to that reasoning if someone tried to weasel out of a bet in real life - to me it's clear that she lost that. But, whatever.

that was pretty fun. loved how it panned out in the end!

“Did you notice the weird weather lately? We went through all four seasons in, like, one week. Although it was cool to go to the beach and have snow right after,” Lemon said.

:rainbowlaugh:

I enjoyed this story, but there are a few points where the language needs fixing. Do you have an editor?

8432454
First, thanks!:twilightsmile:
Second, sadly no, I don't. I'm constantly trying to improve myself, but I know it can only get me so far. (It might also be a bit of pride) That said, for this story I intentionally didn't want an editor or proofreader, as I want to see how far I can get in the contest completely on my own.

8432500
In my experience, all authors need an editor to be the best they can be. Nobody is good at everything; and the type of editor each author needs can be different.

You've done pretty well by yourself, though. A few malapropisms and typos, but nothing that ruined the story. When the contest is over, send me a PM if you'd like me to help finish it.

8434633
If I don't forget it, I'll gladly take you up on that offer.
Thanks.
Now if you'll excuse me.
*looks up 'malapropism'*
... I could have guessed...

Take this, suckerz!
That’s what ya get for not letting me finish!
Go Lemon Go Lemon Go!
<(*-*<) ^(*-*)^ (>*-*)>

I swear this nearly killed me :rainbowlaugh:

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