As it turns out, the Shadowbolts all have the same secret. They each have a huge crush on CHS' star student, Sunset Shimmer. Watch the struggle as these highly competitive girls each try to win Sunset's heart. Who will win?
Inspired by and written for Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons.
That's why you don't make me have ideas!
Edit: 10/8/17 Three hours and already "Popular Stories", you're great!
Edit: 10/8/17 Featured! (When Mature turned off; that still counts, right?)
Chapters (1)
I'd read that, no boundaries here...
XD F-yeah, go lemon!
Oh dear
That was just brilliant. I loved it!
This story was awesome. I have read one other SunZest ship story, and this one is a little bit better than that one. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
So is a sequel in the works
8357532
Sorry to disappoint, but there probably won't be one. It would be pretty hard to pull this off again in a sequel. Maybe if there'll ever be a Twilight Shipping Contest.
8357707
I think you should make a sequel too. I really enjoyed this.
This was fantastic. Only a few edits you need to make, but the overall story was great!
I really didn't see that twist, I thought Sunset would be with Sci-Twi lol.
This gave me some amazing laughs. Awesome job.
Sunny: "Hmm, should our shipping name be Sun-Set or Sun-ny?"
Ok that was pretty great
Love the magical girl sunny reference as well!
this was great i loved it i was expecting things to get violent thoe like have the girls grab sunset and start tug of warring with her
This is the point where I was totally confident I had figured out the twist: Sunset was dating the native-world Sunset.
And then when Sunset kissed Lemon, I thought Lemon had gone over and said something like "Hey Sunset, sorry about this, but I just made a bet with the girls that I could get you to kiss me. Can you help a friend out here?"
But nope, I thought I was being clever, but I was totally blindsided instead.
Great story!
Ah, such a comedy of errors. I was totally expecting the human Sunset to come walking through the door, but I enjoyed the twist and the fact Lemon trolled them so handily.
8359711
8359745
Thanks you two for telling me I was actually subtle with my foreshadowing
I really appreciate your comments (as well as everyone else's)
I see I'm not the only one expecting Sunset/Sunset
8359799
There have been a couple of them, and it is always amusing.
Run twilight run!
Holy french fries mate, I frigging love this! 10/10 man.
Question: Which one? Does that mean a potential threesome is in the works?
8382674
They only know one as far as I know.
I admit, I was completely convinced Sunset was dating the native Sunset. Completely and utterly convinced.
8393571
Look through the comment section, you aren't the only one
And the best part, it was completely unintentional
8393600
You've created a mass conspiracy! Either that, or many of us subconsciously ship Sunset with herself...
8393612
Probably both
Wait - didn't Lemon play herself here? She bet that she'd be kissed before Sunset's girlfriend walks through the entrance, otherwise she'd treat them to meals. But since she was already Sunset's girlfriend (secret or not), that means that she had already walked through the entrance before she was kissed. Thus she owes them all meals.
8394294
A bet like that only counts from the moment you make it and because Sunset was already waiting inside Lemon never actually walked through the entrance during the crucial part of between making the bet and the kiss, thus she wins. A classic case of Loophole Abuse.
8394523
Nope, I wouldn't agree to that reasoning if someone tried to weasel out of a bet in real life - to me it's clear that she lost that. But, whatever.
that was pretty fun. loved how it panned out in the end!
I enjoyed this story, but there are a few points where the language needs fixing. Do you have an editor?
8432454
First, thanks!
Second, sadly no, I don't. I'm constantly trying to improve myself, but I know it can only get me so far. (It might also be a bit of pride) That said, for this story I intentionally didn't want an editor or proofreader, as I want to see how far I can get in the contest completely on my own.
8432500
In my experience, all authors need an editor to be the best they can be. Nobody is good at everything; and the type of editor each author needs can be different.
You've done pretty well by yourself, though. A few malapropisms and typos, but nothing that ruined the story. When the contest is over, send me a PM if you'd like me to help finish it.
8434633
If I don't forget it, I'll gladly take you up on that offer.
Thanks.
Now if you'll excuse me.
*looks up 'malapropism'*
... I could have guessed...
Take this, suckerz!
That’s what ya get for not letting me finish!
Go Lemon Go Lemon Go!
<(*-*<) ^(*-*)^ (>*-*)>
I swear this nearly killed me
The celebratory emoticons really sell the end.
Only Rarity can say something like that without breaking character.
I love Sugarcoat so much
For some reason my heart feels a little bit warmer after reading that part. I can't quite put my finger on it, though (as in, I can totally point why, but I'm not telling).
Great story, good job
8591815
Thanks
Maybe I should admit that I also used the actual name "Magical Girl Sunny" in another fanfic of mine, because I love your story so much (and totally not because I suck at coming up with original names)
8591926
To be fair, I was surprised I was the first one to think of it. It has such a nice ring to it.
Did you win?
9126664
Nah, I didn't, but I don't really care, because I had fun writing this.
That was a good plot twist
Lemon Beach House of course!
i1.wp.com/www.thefoodiegeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/ikamusume2.jpg
Just ask for the Ika Musume soba special!
hehe, I love this story!
Great job with it, and I especially loved the sequel!
I don't suppose maybe you'll do more with this setting?
9713831
Oroboro already announced a third (and final) Sunset shipping contest and I have some interest in potentially turning this into a trilogy (if allowed of course). Though I still have no ideas for a plot...
9713837
Hmm... awkward silly dinner with Lemon's parents?
Going crazy in Las Pegasus?
I know that anime and have seen it Miss. Kobayyoshi's dragon maid right?
10421428
Right.
10421793
I had a feeling that was the case when your profile picture is of kanna
Hah, this was fun to read.
I really got a kick out of the climactic punchline. Good capper to the whole affair.