//------------------------------// // Comfort Food // Story: A Princess, a Magician, and an Exile Walk Into a Bar // by Sporktacles //------------------------------// Luna cleared her throat. “I have a proposition. I would like to try what ponies call ‘bar hopping’. Ponyville, of course, has only one drinking establishment, but perhaps we could visit bars in Canterlot-” “Nope,” Sunset said casually. “Overruled.” Trixie quietly nodded in agreement. Luna sagged. “But why? Surely you both might enjoy a little variety.” Trixie shook her head. “I travel all over Equestria constantly. I get more than enough of that.” “And I have to head back through the portal every Saturday morning,” said Sunset. “If you can’t fly, it’s an hours-long train ride up the mountain and back down again afterwards.” “But I could send a chariot for both of you! Neither of you actually live in Ponyville, so why this insistence on the same bar every week?” Sunset grinned. “Two reasons. First of all, we already know everypony here, and it’s nice to drink around familiar faces.” “Yes!” Trixie raised her forehooves to the air, waving at the other patrons. “All of Trixie’s friends are in Ponyville. Well, except you, of course,” she tipped her head at Luna. “You live in Canterlot, but I’m grateful that you come by every Friday. This is almost like a second home.” “Which brings me to the second reason. We like coming to Ponyville because it is the best town. Ever.” Sunset gestured at their drinks. “Take this bar. Over a hundred different beers, forty varieties of cider, dozens of different liquors, spirits, and wines, many from outside of Equestria… Unless you are looking for a place that specializes in say, bourbons,” she pointed at Trixie’s drink, “you won’t find a better-stocked cellar.” Luna glanced at the massive wall of casks behind Cherry’s counter, from which the pony in question was slowly filling a mug. “I do admit that Cherry Berry’s drinks menu is impressive. I wonder how she manages to balance her accounts with such expenditure.” “She doesn’t!” said Trixie. “Cherry’s profits are pretty slim, I think. She spends all her excess bits on new stock or improving the bar.” “Oh, yeah.” Sunset turned her head to look around the bar. “Look at these embroidered curtains. Lovely soft seats, polished wood paneled floors – Cherry’s a true enthusiast. She really loves this bar.” “And you want to deprive her of our business.” Trixie grinned at Luna. “You monster.” “Enough, I feel guilty already.” Luna sighed. “In any case, while I am of course suitably awed by Cherry’s dedication to her bar, what did you mean when you said that Ponyville is the simply the best town?” “Well, it’s kinda like that for everypony here,” said Sunset. “Rarity’s dresses are in demand all over Manehattan and Canterlot. Rainbow Dash is probably the most talented Wonderbolt ever. Sweet Apple Acres is literally the only place in Equestria where zap apple jam is made. And all that pales in comparison to Ponyville's real claim to fame.” Luna raised an eyebrow. “Which is?” Trixie looked at her incredulously. “You don’t know what Ponyville is most famous for?” “I presume the answer to that question is not ‘Twilight Sparkle’s castle’, nor associated with the examples Sunset quoted?” “No.” said Sunset, smirking. “Right, now we’re gonna to have to make you guess.” Luna thought carefully. Suddenly, she perked up. “Fillyfooling!” Sunset burst out laughing. “Okay, that is correct, but it’s not what we had in mind.” “Or is it?” Trixie waggled her eyebrows. Sunset rolled her eyes and sighed. “No. No, it isn’t.” “I give up.” Luna finished the last of her beer. She waved to attract Cherry’s attention, and pointed at her empty glass to order another round. Sitting back down, she continued, “Obviously, it is something of which I simply am not aware.” Trixie and Sunset nodded at each other, and answered in chorus. “Desserts.” Luna stared at them blankly. “Truly? I mean, I concede that Pinkie Pie is an exceptional baker, but I am not certain if-” Trixie shook her head. “Pinkie Pie’s great at parties and making ponies happy, but baking is just her job, not her special talent.” “Yep,” said Sunset. “The fact that she’s such a great baker is actually a testament to the skills of her teachers. I think you might have forgotten that Sugarcube Corner is actually run by Carrot and Cup Cake.” “Trixie hears that Princess Celestia makes regular official visits, just for the bakery!” Luna frowned. “I did wonder why she keeps making formal appearances in Ponyville. I had always assumed it was to visit Twilight Sparkle.” Sunset crossed her forehooves and huffed grumpily. “She does like Twilight a lot…” “Nay, nay,” said Luna quickly. “I am certain now that she comes primarily for the cakes. Celestia has indeed extolled at length of their richness, the excellence of the frosting, and the superlative quality of the chocolate cream.” Sunset took a long breath. “That does sound like her, I guess. Anyway, it’s not just Sugarcube Corner. Cup Cake’s cupcakes are fantastic, but you haven’t lived until you’re had Bon Bon’s bonbons. You really need to try her almond-and-rum pralines. Oh! And maybe I should take you to Bittersweet’s café someday. Her tiramisu is out of this world.” “Tiramisu?” Luna pronounced the unfamiliar word slowly, grasping for its meaning. “Is this a Neighponese word?” Sunset shook her head. “No. It’s a really creamy coffee-flavored dessert made of mascarpone cheese and sponge biscuits.” Luna sat up straight. “You mean to say we have invented a cream dessert flavored with coffee?” “Oh yeah. Really strong coffee, usually.” Luna looked into the distance, jaw squared and her expression resolute. “I must sample this.” “Sure. We’ll go soon.” Sunset laughed. “Anyway all that is pretty much the best stuff in Ponyville’s dessert scene. I mean, if you’re into apple snacks, the Apples make some superb pie, but that’s mostly for family and friends only. We’ve just listed the best stores-” Trixie, who had been quietly listening up until then, turned to Sunset with a look of pure disdain. She slowly shook her head. “You know nothing, Sunset Shimmer.” “What?” Trixie bent under the table, where she had left her saddlebags. She pulled out a plain brown paper bag with her magic, placing it carefully on the table. Almost reverently, she floated out its contents, flattened the bag, and used it as a makeshift plate for them. Luna blinked. “Muffins?” “Peanut butter and jelly muffins. Try one.” Luna glanced at the three muffins with a critical eye. She lifted one up and gingerly took a bite. Suddenly, her eyes widened. The world seemed to fall away. It was almost as if, even though it was late into the night, the last rays of sunlight had somehow managed to escape the confines of logic and dawn upon her. Her heart skipped a beat. In the distance, she could hear the soft “Aah-aah…” of an angelic choir, singing the majesty of the dessert she had just tasted. Her nostrils, filled with the scent of sugar and peanut butter and strawberry jelly, could nonetheless make out another, subtler fragrance, far more sublime and divine. It was the aroma of enlightenment. Sunset glanced around the bar apprehensively. “D-did anypony else hear that singing?” Luna ignored her. “This… I do not understand. I am not even particularly fond of peanuts. Yet… oh, stars. This is bliss itself given form. Truly, the universe has named perfection, and it is a muffin.” “You can’t be serious.” Sunset picked up another muffin and examined it carefully. It somehow managed to waft a scent of freshness despite obviously having been sitting in a bag for several hours. She carefully broke it open. The way the glistening jelly gently oozed out, onto the cake filled with chunky peanut butter, forced her to concede that it did look delicious. Cautiously, she took a tiny nibble. More angelic chanting filled their booth. “Wha-“ Sunset quickly shook the stupor away. “Did you buy these from Sugarcube Corner?” Trixie shook her head smugly. “Nope! They’re not sold anywhere. In fact, I have to ask for them to be made especially for me every week, and the best thing about them is that they’re free.” “Who makes these?” asked Luna. Trixie simply pointed at the next booth. Sunset turned around and looked over, where a grey pegasus was chatting enthusiastically with a brown earth pony stallion. “Wait, is that Dinky’s mom?” Luna gasped. “Trixie, are you saying that the greatest baker in Ponyville – possibly the world – is Ms Derpy Hooves?” “Mmmhmm! She doesn’t even own a store. Derpy just makes muffins for herself and her daughters purely because they like them.” “That’s insane.” Sunset shook her head in disbelief. “She probably earns minimum wage from her postal service job when she could be making a fortune selling these.” “She refuses to taint her gift with money. In fact, the only reason I even know about these is because when I got run out of Ponyville the first time, she found me and gave me some to cheer me up. She says her best are blueberry and banana muffins, but every week she still bakes me my favorite peanut-butter-and-jelly muffins when I come by.” Sunset continued nibbling on her muffin, savoring every crumb. “You mean that these aren’t even what Derpy considers her best? Unbelievable.” Luna glanced at Derpy, who at that moment was struggling over grabbing a straw in her mouth without the benefit of depth perception. “What an amazing mare,” she said. Cherry finally came up to their booth, carrying the tray of drinks that Luna had ordered earlier. Setting them down on the table, she noticed the final remaining muffin. She smiled and gave Trixie a curt, knowing nod. Trixie simply smiled back. Sunset watched the exchange, waiting until Cherry had moved on to speak. “Actually, what is it with you and peanut butter and jelly, anyway?” Trixie arched an eyebrow. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever mentioned it to you.” “Uhh…” Sunset thought quickly. “I just happened to hear you’re really fond of PB&J crackers. And sandwiches. And now muffins too, apparently.” “Oh. My mother used to make me little cracker sandwiches with peanut butter and jelly all the time. Neigh Orleans isn’t exactly a central location like Ponyville and I can’t visit it that often, so I eat them to stave off homesickness.” “I see.” “It’s really nothing special. Surely you must have some comfort food that your mother made for… you…?” Trixie’s question tapered off at the end, mostly as a response to Luna frantically shaking her head and making a “cut it now” gesture with her hoof and neck. But it was too late. Sunset had gone very quiet. She glanced out the window, and sighed absent-mindedly. “Pancakes…” “Pancakes?” “Yeah. My mother is… really dedicated to her work, so she kept missing a lot of stuff that was really important to me. I mean, remember when I was in our class musical?” “The one where you were playing Heather Candles?” Trixie smirked. “Sure. You were perfect for that role.” “Ah, right. I guess I deserve that. Anyway, I was really hoping she would come see us perform, but she was busy with… an overseas work trip. But she somehow always thought that making me pancakes would make me feel better about her never being around.” Sunset sighed again, wistfully. “I mean, they were really awesome pancakes, with fruit and piles of whipped cream and I really loved them at first, but after a while they just became a reminder that she just didn’t understand what I really wanted: her time and attention.” “Oh, Sunset…” whispered Luna, almost to herself. “Anyway, when I ran away, I’d still miss her terribly sometimes. So I binged on pancakes to make myself feel better.” Trixie picked up the last muffin and chewed on it thoughtfully. “No wonder you were such an angry filly.” A smile slowly spread across Sunset’s face. She chuckled quietly. “Nah. It’s because I was a horrible brat who thought the world of herself for no good reason and became furious when I didn’t get what I wanted.”