Princess Luna created me in order to make sure she never would forget the pain she caused Equestria.

But this? This is not the way to accomplish my directive.

If only I could let her know...

Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library
Russian Translation by Doof!

"After all these many years, Lyra finally convinces Twilight Sparkle to teach her the most powerful summoning spell in all of Equestria. With this knowledge, she plans to summon the mythical creatures known as 'humans' to her world. Little does she know that her world is about to irrevocably change."

He looked at the other man. "How was that?"

The other man nodded. "It will suffice."

***

Edited by King of Beggars, Midnight Blaze, MrNumbers, and PegasusMesa.

Image is Large Hand with Splayed Fingers by Florentina Pakosta.

Spoilers. This story takes place during Season 5's ending episode, "The Cutie Re-mark".

Starlight can't be defeated. But then again, she can't win either. Both she and Twilight and trapped in an eternal time loop. After realizing this, Starlight alters her spell to transport Twilight and Spike beyond time itself. Unfortunately she's dragged in as well and taken to the place where time ends. In that endless nothingness where even time is meaningless and realities merge she and Twilight find...

Celestia, Discord, and Chrysalis playing cards and betting on the lives of mortals. And it's not as funny as it sounds.

Pinkie has a bad Hairdra day and winds up peeking further beyond the Vale than she’d have liked.

But, more certain than death and praxis, she’ll make sure everypony else has fun again.

Written for the October 2016 Writeoff, where it won first place.

Note: This story is written in the style of James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake, a classic work of English literature that is notorious for being hard to read. While this story is not as cementically dense as FW, it is still full of wordplay, literary references, portmanteau words and puns and will be a challenge for many readers. If this isn’t your sort of thing, try one of my other stories. If you’re game, dig in! It can help to read the story aloud.

Image background by Chaz1029, foreground by Mahaugher, with edits to both by GGA.

Thanks to Morning Sun, FanOfMostEverything, Quill Scratch, Baal Bunny, and Not_A_Hat for criticism, suggestions and corrections.

Princess Celestia tires of constantly being surrounded by decorum, deference, and formality, and decides to take a day off from being Princess. But visiting Ponyville incognito is harder than she expects. Will she be able to fit in and make friends without blowing her cover?

Sunset Shimmer and Equestria’s own Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle have spent hours, literally hours, researching earth baby intelligence and have come to some startling conclusions regarding human Flurry Heart.

Cover art cropped from a piece by Calli-pi-zho.

After reading about Daring Do's failed attempt to secure an ancient artifact, Twilight and Rainbow Dash take it upon themselves to find it in her place. Unfortunately, not only do they find it, but by reading a passage from the book, Rainbow Dash accidentally unleashes a curse which causes everyone in Ponyville to speak in puns. This, of course, drives Twilight up the wall, especially since she's the only one who seems to notice.

Seven years. For seven years she was neglected. In that time, she was underpowered, defeated by a nag in the moon, defeated by an evil bug roach, a victim to tentacle vines, defeated again by the same evil bug roach as before, as well as many other slights and insults in between.

All she wanted was one episode of her own, one to show her glorious personality in all of its radiant glory. Unfortunately, it was not to be. Her impressive record as the longest living and serving monarch (now diarch, lots of love to dear, dear Little Luna), brokering peace and prosperity the likes of which no other nation could hold a candle to! Or a sun, for that matter.

Time to do something about that.

So I got in a car crash and the hospital put me under for surgery. The next thing I know, I wake up as a small pony with wings. And I can't see. And it's freaking cold up here.

At least I've still got my smokes.

(Got the idea from the funny picture. Rated T for language and tobacco use.)

Once upon a time, ponies didn't use money. They didn't have it. They weren't even aware of the concept. They just traded goods and services, helping each other out and owing each other favors. They built big houses because they felt like it, ate grass because they could, and slept under the stars almost every night. Those were better times, simpler times.

Whatever happened to those times?

Well, one young pegasus mare has just concluded the most extensive research project of her life so far, and she believes she has found the source of the economic evolution that Equestria has gone through.

The answer lies in the gold.

Written as a birthday present for Carapace