“See? You can’t stop me no matter what you do!”
High above Equestria, Starlight and Twilight faced off, horns aglow with magic. Twilight glanced behind her at the filly version of Rainbow Dash sitting on the bleachers behind her and watching the magical showdown. She and Starlight were both exhausted, but determination kept her on her feet.
“We may have failed this time,” she told Starlight. “But we’ll stop you!”
“I doubt it.” Starlight grinned evilly. “You and I will always come back to the same place. And so long as I’m here, I can disrupt the race as many times as I want. Face it Twilight: the instant I cast the time travel spell, I won!”
Starlight blasted Twilight with another spell, but it bounced off of a shield made of purple fire. Twilight countered with another spell, but both ponies were too tired to fight as hard as they had earlier.
“Hah! Your plan won’t ever work!” Spike stood on Twilight’s back as the two ponies dodged and shot spells at each other in midair. “Your time travel spell has a huge loophole in it!”
“What?” Starlight stopped attacking for a moment. “Ridiculous! I’ve created the perfect trap. You can’t escape my spell unless I release you, and meanwhile I can alter history as much as I want!”
“Yeah, but we can go back in time too!” Spike held up Starswirl’s scroll triumphantly. “And if we do, we can try again as many times as it takes until we win!”
“That’s right.” Twilight faced Starlight grimly. “We can do this forever if it means getting my friends back, Starlight. We won’t ever give up!”
Starlight gritted her teeth. “That’s…”
“Not so confident now, are you?” Spike taunted Starlight. “Face it: your fancy spell was doomed to failure from the start! If you’re going to rewind time, you’d better make sure you’re the only pony going back!”
“Well maybe I will!” Starlight teleported forwards in an instant and seized the scroll from Spike’s waving claw. Twilight gasped and fired off a spell but Starlight was already gone.
“You made a good point,” Starlight said as she reappeared several clouds away. “And you’re right; I don’t feel like doing this song and dance forever. So how about I change the spell again?”
“What?” Twilight faced Starlight, horn aglow. “That’s impossible! You can’t just do that.”
“Can’t I?” Starlight concentrated, and the magical inscriptions on the scroll began to glow and change. “It was child’s play to rewrite Starswirl’s spell the first time and it’s just as easy now. Face it Twilight: I’m just better at magic than you are.”
“You’re making a mistake!” Twilight flew closer but Starlight just teleported away again. Frustrated, Twilight flew after her. She wanted to attack Starlight could see, but she feared hitting the scroll. “You have no idea what will happen if you mess around time too much! The consequences—”
“I’m not afraid of the consequences!” Starlight held up the newly altered scroll in triumph. “With this, I’ll send you out of the time stream itself! Let’s see you try to get back from there!”
“No!” Twilight dove at Starlight but it was too late. Starlight’s horn glowed and the scroll expanded outwards. From mere ink on parchment the runic symbols glowed and grew into a magical funnel that surrounded Twilight and Spike. Unlike the portal that had taken them the first time though, this gateway appeared from underneath the two and began drawing them downwards.
“Spike!” Twilight’s horn glowed desperately and the baby dragon was flung from her back and into the sky far away from the funnel. “I’m sorry! Get to safety! I’ll find a way out!”
“There is no way out!” Starlight laughed manically as Spike fell through the sky like a stone and Twilight was inexorably pulled further down into the portal. “I don’t know where you’re going, but it won’t be where anything lives! Didn’t you hear me? I’m sending you beyond time itself! You’ll never get free!”
“Well maybe she won’t, but neither will you!”
Starlight whirled. Behind her Spike rose through the clouds, supported by the young Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Before she could react, he jumped at her and knocked her out of the sky.
Starlight fell through the air, fighting to fly herself back up with her magic. But she had strayed too far towards the portal herself, and now it sucked her in. Above her Spike grabbed for the parchment in desperation but missed as the pegasi fillies pulled him to safety.
“Twilight!” He shouted.
“Curse you!” Starlight screamed as the portal sucked both her and Twilight into it. “Curse you all! I’ll destroy you for this! I’ll destroy you—”
And then she was gone.
----
Time is like a river. It runs only one way. That’s how it works for most mortals, at any rate. But time can also flow backwards and uphill, so it’s more like an ocean. But time can stop and start and loop, so water-based analogies sort of stop working at this point.
Time is many things, but there are things it is not. And the place Starlight and Twilight found themselves in was a place where time was not.
“—all!”
The portal opened up and Starlight tumbled out alongside Twilight. Such was the speed of their descent that both unicorn and alicorn would have surely smacked into the ground if there had been any.
But there wasn’t. The place they were in was an empty void. Nothingness. A purgatory where even causality had failed. There was no ground to smack into, and no gravity to facilitate the smacking. Twilight and Starlight could have fallen forever, or never begun falling in the first place. There was no ground.
There was however, a table. The two ponies smacked into that.
Starlight was first on her hooves. She forced herself up despite the ringing in her head and Twilight followed not a moment later. The two ponies faced off, horns aglow with crackling magic. They prepared to unleash such terrible magic on each other that one or the other would be rent asunder.
They stopped when they heard the cough.
It was a polite cough, meant to indicate that one wished to say something. Most noticeably it didn’t come from either Twilight or Starlight.
Both pony’s eyes shifted left. They looked around, and their mouths fell open. They stared, slack-jawed as they took in for the first time what the place where time did not exist actually looked like.
In the middle of the empty space sat a table. It wasn’t a very interesting table. It was in fact made of wood. There were things on top of it. Bowls of chips, coins, playing cards, three glasses half-filled. Oh, and the table had three chairs around it. They weren’t very interesting chairs either.
Their occupants on the other hand were extremely interesting and interested. Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun, Discord the God of Chaos and Chrysalis, Queen of the Changeling looked up from their card game at Twilight and Starlight as the two stood frozen in place.
“Ahem.” Celestia coughed again. “Hi there. Twilight. Starlight. How’s it going?” She carefully folded her hand of cards. “Got any friendship reports for me to read?
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight was the first to shake the paralysis. “What are—why is Discord and Chrysalis here? Where is this place? What’s going on? I don’t—”
Chrysalis signed and put down her cards. “Horseapples. This is going to take a while, isn’t it? And just when the betting was getting good.”
Starlight snarled and backed away from the group of immortals. “Who are you all? Why is there another princess here? We should be outside the time stream! Nothing exists here!”
Discord raised one claw. “Well, in point of fact—”
Starlight narrowed her eyes. “Wait a second. This is some kind of trick! You lured me here – messed with Starswirl’s spell to trap me!”
“Not really.” Celestia raised one hoof. “If you’d let us explain—”
“This can’t be happening! I demand answers!” Starlight’s horn began to glow with magical light. “Answer me! If you don’t explain this I’ll—”
“Shut up!” Chrysalis’s horn flared and a blast of green magic blew past Starlight’s right ear. She froze in place as the wave of magical energy rushed past her and detonated in the distance. The shockwave from the blast nearly threw her off her feet. If that had hit her—
“Ahem.” Celestia nudged Chrysalis in the side. “Let’s not blow them up just yet Chrysalis. They’re confused, and understandably so.”
“They’re confused? I’m confused!” Discord tossed his cards up into the air and flowers rained down upon the table. “How’d they get here? They must have breached the time wall with Starswirl’s spell. I didn’t think any pony could do that!”
“Well, they did.” Celestia pointed out. “Let’s just roll with it and sort out the details later. I’m sure they’re confused, so let’s see if we can’t explain things. We owe them that much for making it here.”
“Princess Celestia.” Twilight’s voice was quavering but she still spoke directly to her mentor. “It’s very nice to see you, but what in the wide, wide world of Equestria is going on here!? Starlight was trying to teleport me outside the time stream, but we ended up here! How? And why is Discord here, let alone Chrysalis? She’s a villain. She’s evil!”
“I’m not that evil,” Chrysalis said mildly. “And for your information I always hang out here.”
“Doing what?” Twilight snapped. “Playing cards?”
“Betting, actually.” Discord casually flipped a coin over his mismatched hands. “We make wagers on the lives of mortals for fun. Oh, and by the way you two owe me fifty souls each. I told you that they’d break the time stream somehow if we let them mess around with it long enough.”
Chrysalis and Celestia both grumbled and fished around on the table. They picked up…what? Starlight wasn’t sure. They looked like faintly glowing translucent orbs of light, but they had an unearthly quality about them that described words. They were large, yet so small that Discord scooped up a hundred of them in one claw.
“How excellent!” He made the souls vanish into thin air. “Now, where were we? Oh, right. We were explaining what we do here.”
“You’re betting…souls?” Starlight stared at the empty space where the lights had been. “Why?”
“Well, it’s traditional,” Chrysalis said. “I mean, what would you bet with? Bits? We can have as many as we want. Souls are convenient. We can mess around with whatever souls we own and they don’t take up any space.”
“But souls?” Twilight whispered. “Why souls? That’s evil. Only the darkest of magic use souls.”
“Yeah, but we’re not doing magic,” Chrysalis said impatiently. “We’re collecting them. Sometimes we trade them, but no magic’s involved. It’s a hobby.”
“Impossible!” This time it was Starlight’s turn to snap. “Souls aren’t objects! They can’t just be used like that!”
“They can if we want them to.” Celestia raised one royal eyebrow at Starlight. “I mean yes, they’re not tangible on the physical plane, but if you have enough magic, anything’s possible.”
“And we’ve got magic to spare.” Chrysalis flicked her head and her horn emitted a shower of sparks. “We’re all more powerful than any other force in existence. We can do anything with our magic: reverse time, change worlds, create new life or erase it, etc.”
“Liar!” Starlight growled at Chrysalis. “No one’s that powerful!”
Chrysalis blinked at her for a second. “Here we are, sitting in a time out of time and you’re telling me we’re not that powerful?” She shrugged. “Fine. Here’s more proof.”
Her horn flared and Starlight had to shield her eyes as green light shone like a star. When she was able to see again she gaped.
Above Chrysalis a mountain floated in the void. Not just a model of a mountain or a small replica, a genuine, rock-infested, sky-scraping mountain. It was so vast that it filled all of Starlight’s vision. The sight of it, so close overhead made Starlight’s head stop dead in her chest.
But just as soon as it had appeared the mountain vanished in a flash of light. Starlight looked around wildly and saw only the three beings at the card table once more and a gaping Twilight to her left.
“See?” Chrysalis took a gulp from her cup on the table. She didn’t even look tired from the spell. “Easy.”
“But you’re not powerful enough for that!” Twilight jabbed a hoof angrily at Chrysalis. “I know you’re not. You’re just a changeling queen, not—not some immortal god! Princess Cadence and Shining Armor beat you before! How is that possible?”
“Good acting.” Chrysalis didn’t even blink. “I’m a trained thespian.”
“What?”
“It’s all an act,” Chrysalis explained patiently. “Not just me – Celestia and Discord play their roles as well. We don’t use our real powers and we pretend to be helpless or weaker than we are.”
“Yep.” Discord grinned toothily. “You didn’t really think turning me to stone would be enough to seal me away for thousands of years, did you? I mean, if I can shapeshift and change my size, what good would turning me to stone be?”
“But what about Tirek and Sombra?” Twilight clutched at her mane and turned to Celestia. “You sent me to the Crystal Empire because Sombra was too strong to defeat by yourself, and Tirek was too powerful to face on your own.”
“Look, what part of acting don’t you get?” Chrysalis turned to Celestia. “She’s really not that quick on the uptake, is she?”
Twilight was swaying on her hooves. Starlight didn’t feel that much more steady herself. “You’re telling me that all along you could have stopped all the villains we fought by yourselves?”
“Yep.”
“How in Equestria—”
“Well, just think about it.” Celestia pointed to Chrysalis and Discord. “He’s a god of Chaos, able to create anything he wants. And Chrysalis is supposed to be able to beat me, a being capable to moving the sun around at will. Doesn’t it seem kind of odd that someone with that kind of power wouldn’t be able to stop Sombra or Tirek with just a thought?”
Twilight paused. “I, uh—”
“Come now,” Celestia chided Twilight. “You know your astrology. The sun is countless times larger than the earth, and I can juggle it like a basketball. If I wanted to I could wipe out a city like Canterlot in the blink of the eye. But where would the fun in that be?”
“Fun?” Twilight and Starlight chorused the word together. They shared a quick glance and then looked even more quickly away.
“But what about all the ponies who are suffering?” Twilight stared at Celestia. “What about all the disasters that have happened? You could have stopped them all – made everypony happy!”
Celestia shifted in her chair and scratched at her mane idly. “I did that, once. More than once in point of fact; I used handle everything myself. I'd go all over Equestria, rewinding time, defeating monsters, making ponies happy. I did that for thousands of time loops, countless millennia. And you know what? I succeeded in making everything peaceful and got bored. Adversity builds character.”
“Exactly,” Discord agreed. He shuffled the cards between his hands as he spoke. “And it’s far too boring to make everything happy all the time. I mean, hello,” he chuckled, “God of Chaos here. We let reality sort itself out without much interference. Oh, sometimes we alter events a bit, but mainly we’re just here as observers.”
“Gamblers,” Chrysalis supplied. “Betting on life and death.”
“But that’s…evil.” Twilight stared at the three. “If you’re betting souls on whether ponies live or die without helping them, that’s terrible!”
“No, it’s just good intuition,” Celestia said. “Honestly Twilight I understand your perspective, but this is what we do. It’s the only way to pass the millennia with any kind of fun these days. We watch events unfold, bet on them, and then when everything gets boring again we rewind time and change things so everything turns out different. Then we bet again. It's pretty fun,”
“This can’t be real.” Twilight shook her head rapidly. “No! It can’t be—”
“I’m telling you, we’re 206% serious,” Discord said.
“No, you’re lying!” Twilight snapped back. “I could expect this kind of evil from you Discord, and especially Chrysalis—”
“Hey!”
“—But I can’t believe Princess Celestia would do something like this.” Twilight paused and then smacked her forehead with one hoof. “Oh wait, I know! This is just another alternate timeline.”
Twilight laughed hysterically. “This just another fake reality, and once I go back and stop Starlight, everything will go back to normal.”
“Um.” Chrysalis glanced helplessly at Celestia. “Your denial is quite impressive, but we’re telling the truth here. Look, we can prove it.”
Chrysalis’s horn began to glow a bright emerald green. Both Starlight and Twilight looked up in amazement as a large screen appeared out of thin air. In it both ponies saw Twilight chatting to a weary-looking Applejack in worker’s clothes.
“Let’s see here. You went to the timeline where Sombra comes back and starts a war with Equestria, you escaped that, got trapped in crystal by Starlight like a chump, tried to race Rainbow Dash and failed – thanks for that by the way, cost me two hundred souls – and then you were teleported to the timeline where I take over Equestria. That was fun; Zecora and her war paint ponies really put up a good fight.”
The images flashed by as Twilight’s adventures replayed themselves on the screen. “Oh, and then you have an awesome battle with Starlight before she uses the spell to bring you all here. Convinced yet?”
Starlight stared at the image of her battling Twilight and felt the truth sinking in. Her heart, which had been beating out of her chest felt cold and empty.
“You—” Twilight was shaking. “Y-you mean every disaster in Equestria, every villain we’ve faced, every bad thing that’s happened was your doing?”
“Oh, no, of course not!” Chrysalis looked shocked. “What do you take us for? That would completely spoil the game!”
“We only manufacture the background,” Discord explained with a grin. “We set up the history, put all the actors in place, and bet on what happens next.”
“Your decisions make disasters or miracles happen,” Celestia said kindly. “Your determination and will to succeed changes the world, make no mistake. It’s just that we also make those things happen. If we’re bored. Or we feel like it.”
“And no pony remembers?” Starlight whispered the words. “We forget each time?”
“Well, sometimes you don’t exist.” Discord fiddled with a card. “Awkward. But we only recreate certain ponies each time. Twilight for instance, you’re a keeper. We always preserve you in some form or other. We reset your memory of course, but your soul remains.”
“Which is a pain.” Chrysalis stretched out in her chair. “Do you know how hard it is to come up with another false history? We have to build a bunch of kingdoms, start wars, let ponies breed and mingle until we get the proper ratio of unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, and there’s always annoying stuff like having to banish Luna and remember to bring her back.”
“Luna?” Twilight looked at Celestia incredulously. “But isn’t she one of you? Why isn’t she here?”
“Oh, right. Luna.” Discord scratched the back of his head awkwardly and Celestia and Chrysalis looked disappointed. “She didn’t agree.”
“Every time we explained it to her she kept calling us monsters,” Chrysalis chipped in. “And she kept on trying to kill us so we had to erase her memories.
“Which is really too bad.” Celestia sighed into her cup. “Her one thousand years on the moon would go by a lot quicker if she just agreed to play our games, but she was far too stubborn.”
“You brainwashed your own sister?” Twilight gasped.
“Well of course.” Celestia looked nonplussed. “I’ll see if she can’t be made to see reason in another few thousand years. Maybe I’ll go back in time and alter her a bit to make her more receptive, that sort of thing. For now I’ll just leave it. It’s a character-building experience.”
“You—” Starlight had to force the words out through numb lips. “You’re a monster.”
Celestia glanced at her amusement. “So says the pony willing to destroy Equestria in order to get revenge.”
Starlight opened her mouth and couldn’t find a suitable response. Beside her she felt Twilight trembling.
“My entire life is just a lie. I studied so hard to be the perfect student, to learn all your lessons while you were just playing with me! All my friendships, all the struggles and adventures we’ve been through – is it meaningless?”
“Uh, no. haven’t you heart what we’ve been saying?” Chrysalis scratched her mane. “We just pointed out that the nice Equestria you have is a result of your hard work. Believe me; it could’ve been much worse. If you’d failed to stop the parasprites for example, everypony would have starved and I’d have lost fifteen thousand souls and part of Griffonstone. That was a good bet.”
“Exactly,” Celestia nodded in agreement. “We’re perfectly willing to let this iteration of reality run its course. We’ll toss a few villains at you now and then – maybe a few disasters, some romances; it’ll be fun. You can have a good life with all your friends if you keep doing well, and we get to place bets on how everything will turn out for a few hundred years. A few thousand years even, if you become an immortal like me.”
“Actually, we’ll probably start tossing world-destroying monsters at you if you pass four hundred years,” Discord chipped in. “No offense, but it gets kind of boring after all the other Elements die.”
Both Starlight and Twilight were silent. They stared at the three beings sitting around the card table and felt the eyes of gods on their skin. It was a terrible feeling. It wasn’t some watchful presence whether malign or kindly Starlight felt, but the sensation of being stared through by some unknowable power. She was less than a speck in the eyes of the eternal.
Starlight’s soul cowered in fear and she felt her sanity slipping away. But beside her Twilight stepped forward and looked Celestia dead in the eye.
“Starlight is right. You are a monster.”
“Guilty, or not.” Celestia shrugged. “You can’t see it my way, so whatever label you want to give me I’m fine with.”
“You don’t even care, do you?” Starlight heard the catch in Twilight’s voice. “Our lives are worthless to you!”
“Not worthless in point of fact.” Celestia pulled out what looked like a string of six colored lights from midair. “See? Your souls are part of my reserve collection. I don’t bet them unless I know I can win. How’s that for caring?”
“I—” Twilight looked at the purple orb floating in Celestia’s hoof. “Is that I am to you? Just a prize?” She had tears in her eyes, yet her horn began to spark with magic.
“It’s nothing personal.” The glowing souls disappeared again. “After a few aeons you start to gain a new perspective on reality. Look, I do appreciate you – why else would I bother teaching you every time. It’s just that…you’re one Twilight among many I’ve known, y’know?”
Starlight felt Twilight snap. She took a few hasty steps back as Twilight’s horn began to ignite with magical power. At the table Chrysalis sighed and covered her face with one hoof and Discord laughed and started eating from a bowl of popcorn.
“I-I trusted you! You were my mentor, my friend—” Twilight launched herself at Celestia, horn glowing with pure magic. “HOW COULD YOU?”
“Oh brother.” Celestia didn’t even move from her seat at the table. Twilight struck her mentor in a blast of magical energy that would have blasted Starlight off her hooves had she not conjured a shield around herself.
Starlight held the magical barrier in place, shaking slightly from the force of the attack. That certainly was far more powerful than anything she could do. Immortal alicorn Celestia might be, but even she would be injured from such an—
The smoke blew away and Celestia reappeared, still sitting at the table, still holding the poker cards in her hoof. She wasn’t even singed. She hadn’t even moved.
Or rather, only one part of her had. Celestia’s free hoof had caught Twilight in midair. The Princess of the Sun effortlessly held the Princess of Friendship at bay. Twilight’s eyes bulged with incredulity, but Celestia just looked bored.
“Well, I give it an A+ for effort,” she commented. “Unfortunately you get an F for actual results, so I’m going to have to fail you.”
Celestia flicked her hoof and Twilight went flying as if Bulk Biceps had punched her out of the air. She immediately reoriented herself and flew at Celestia again, but then Starlight heard a sound.
Snap.
Discord’s claws clicked together and in an instant Twilight was immobilized in midair, helpless as Discord stretched lazily and yawned.
“Well, that was predictable,” he commented. “Honestly, this is why we need new characters. The Elements of Harmony have become far too stereotyped as of late.”
Discord stood up from his chair and walked over to Twilight. She was struggling, her muscles straining uselessly against the magic that held her. “I mean, just look at her. You throw one earth-shattering betrayal at her and she goes straight into berserk mode, just like with Tirek. What were you thinking when you mentored her this time Celestia?”
“I wanted a flawed character,” Celestia said defensively. “It gets boring if they’re too perfect, so I deliberately neglected teaching her emotionally or spiritually. All I gave her were cerebral assignments and magic lessons. She’s a bit less capable than other versions of Twilight I’ll grant you, but she’s—aw rats, she’s crying, isn’t she?”
“Looks like it.” Discord angled Twilight’s head so Starlight could see the alicorn princess. Tears were silently streaming down her face. “Well, she’s in breakdown mode so it’ll just be more crying and random attacks if we let her go. Mind if I wipe her memory and send her back?”
“Be my guest.” Celestia waved a lazy hoof. “See you, Twilight.”
Twilight started thrashing wildly again. Discord tsked and snapped his fingers.
A portal similar to the one Starlight had used with Starswirl the Bearded’s spell appeared above Twilight’s head. She struggled and tried to scream, but Discord casually put one claw over Twilight’s head and she was instantly still.
Starlight watched with horror as Twilight’s head drooped and her features became vacant and slack. Discord gestured, and her now-limp form flew up into the portal. There was a brief flash of light, and the portal imploded in on itself.
“Simple enough,” he said. “Now then, what about our evil villain of the year?” Three sets of eyes turned to Starlight and she shuddered.
“Let’s mind wipe her and send her back,” Chrysalis suggested. “It’s not like we’ll get any entertainment out of her here, although I’m definitely impressed that she made it here.”
“Indeed. Even Starswirl wouldn’t have done as well. She might not be as evil as you were Chrysalis—”
“Why thank you.”
“—But she’s not bad villain material. Having a pony who can outmatch Twilight in magic was an inspired idea.”
“She’s definitely her mother’s daughter.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, just look at her.” Chrysalis waved one hoof lazily. “She’s probably the strongest unicorn in this iteration – even an alicorn can’t beat her in one-on-one combat.”
“True.” Discord stroked his chin. “But I still think it was a mistake. She’s almost too good at magic. No pony has ever broken the time barrier before.”
“Oh lighten up.” Celestia shoved Discord gently with one hoof. “She can’t do anything, and isn’t it hilarious how she’s fighting her own mother?”
“True!” Discord brightened up. “The irony certainly makes everything so much better.”
“My mother?” Starlight fought the magical bonds that held her. “What are you talking about? My mother died years ago!”
“Fake mother.” Celestia swiped a few chips from a levitating bowl and munched on them. “She was – mfph this is good – a substitute. After all, your real mother’s far too young in this timeline to have raised you. We went years in the future to find you as a baby and brought you back to this time so you could play your part. It was the work of a moment to make some other ponies think they’re your parents and it’s friggin’ hilarious when you actually meet your real family.”
Starlight was shaking. “Who is my mother?”
“Oh come now.” Chrysalis twirled her made around one hoof. “Can’t you figure it out? You’re gifted at magic, your name is Starlight Glimmer, and you have a purple coat…ring any bells?”
For a while Starlight stared blankly at Chrysalis. Just stared. But then her face twisted and she vomited to one side.
“No—I—it can’t be! You’re lying!”
Chrysalis laughed, loudly and derisively. Behind her Celestia chuckled as well, a polite hoof raised to cover her face.
“Did anypony capture that on film?” Discord held up video camera as he hooted with laughter. “Hilarious. Her face was priceless!”
“You’re all lying!” Starlight shouted at the immortals. “This is all some twisted prank!”
“Of course we are.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Keep telling yourself that, if it helps your sanity.”
“But—but I—” Starlight babbled.
“Oh shush,” Discord said, dematerializing the camera with a wave of one claw. “That’s quite enough out of you. Mental breakdowns are so boring, and we’ve got work to do. Wait there until we’re ready for you.”
A stream of cloth unraveled itself from out of midair and flew at Starlight’s face. She flinched, but the cloth only wrapped itself tightly around her mouth and horn, cutting off her ability to speak or use magic. Another snap, and Starlight felt herself being encased in an opaque magical bubble, immobilizing her. But whether by design or accident, the magic that encased her didn’t stop sound from reaching her ears.
“Well, Starlight’s pretty much done as a villain now,” Celestia was saying. “A pretty interesting ending as well; I guess we’ll call this one a draw since no one guessed she’d find a way out of the time stream.”
“True. Shall we leave the bets in the pot? It’s not as if we were playing for big stakes this time around anyways.”
“I’m fine with that.”
“So am I. any thought on what we should do next? This little showdown between Twilight and Starlight was quite nice to round off with, but I’m craving a bit more excitement for our next big plotline. How about a new villain?”
“Already? Don’t we have enough? I mean, I still haven’t had my revenge arc yet. We could have me enslave all of Equestria.”
“That’s blasé at this point, no offense Chrysalis. No, I hear what you’re saying. A new villain would be sort of fun if we managed it right. What did you have in mind, Discord?”
“I’m partial to using an Earth Pony for our next big villain. All of our unicorns are based off of the same template, so it gets kind of old.”
“True. They’re gifted in magic, but mentally unstable. Short tempers, low breaking points mentally; it’s a flaw in the original as well. I mean, look at Sunset Shimmer. Crazed egomaniac with delusions of grandeur – she’s too much like Trixie. We need to go further afield genetically when we do the breeding.”
“Why not pegasi, then?”
“They’re too hard to deal with. If we’re using one of the six for our template, that means we have to use Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy. And you know it’s practically impossible to pair Fluttershy with anyone. She’s far too timid.”
“And Rainbow Dash’s traits just copy down almost identically.” Celestia sighed. “Lightning Dust was a bit generic...alright, earth ponies. But that means we can only use Applejack. I mean, Pinkie Pie’s easy to pair off, but…”
“I’m not in the mood for any more food-related musical numbers, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Me neither. Why do all her offspring have food-related names and cutie marks?”
“No idea. Applejack it is, then.”
“…”
More silence. Starlight waited in the darkness.
“It’s just that…”
“She’s sort of boring.”
“Eyup.”
“I see what you did there. But yeah, she’s boring.”
“Let’s go back to the drawing board here. Maybe we don’t need an earth pony villain. How about…a zebra?”
“Getting Zecora to settle down with another pony’s like pulling teeth off of an Ursa Major.”
“Okay then. If we have to have a unicorn, how about using Rarity?”
“Um, Prince Blueblood?”
“Forget I said anything. Okay, Twilight it is. But we’ve got to make the next villain more interesting. Edgier, darker.”
“How about if we kill her parents?”
“Good, but how about if we kill his parents?”
“How about we reverse their genders again? That was hilarious!”
“We’re sticking to this iteration for now, Discord. But let’s table that for a prank day. Sounds like fun.”
“Alright then. If we’re going to make the villain a unicorn again how about if we make her or him totally inept at magic?”
“Ooh, you mean they can barely use any and then find a dark magical artifact kind of scenario?”
“Like Sombra’s horn. Yes, that sounds like fun. And this pony – let’s make him male – hasn’t appeared in Equestria now because he’s from far away. A traveler.”
“So we have to plant him in the timeline somewhere in Saddle Arabia, perhaps. Or maybe in the Crystal Empire? Oh wait; we didn’t put unicorns in there this time, did we?”
“We could foster him in the Griffin Kingdom.”
“It’s not a kingdom in this iteration, remember? We got rid of the Idol of Boreas and everything went down the toilet.”
“Oh. Yeah. That was hilarious.”
“Alright, that’s taken care of. How about the name? If Twilight’s the template, then…”
“Dusk Shine?”
“Uh, that’s male Twilight’s name.”
“We could reuse it.”
“No, that’s too confusing. How about Moonbeam Glitter?”
“It doesn’t sound good. I’m more for Torchlight Flicker.”
“Hey, that’s pretty intriguing! It adds to the explorer feel of his character. Let's give him a compass and a wand for a cutie mark.”
“Sounds like a plan. We’ll wrap things up here and start finding a mate for Twilight. One last betting round on how Twilight beats Starlight?”
“Do you even have to ask? Big speech about friendship. I’d put five thousand souls on it.”
“No deal. I’ll put Manehatten and Cloudsdale on Twilight inducting Starlight into the Elements of Harmony, though.”
“I bet she makes her an apprentice, sort of a faux-Element of redemption.”
“That does sound pretty likely. We could do a lot with a second squad of Elements. We’ve already got Starlight, we could add Trixie and Gilda…”
“We’ll see. But about the bet?”
“Oh, you’re on. Starlight’s going to be the next Twilight Sparkle and Twilight’s going to turn into you. No questions asked.”
“Like I said: we’ll see. Let’s get this in motion.”
Starlight felt the magic barrier around her break.
“Put her back in the time stream right after the Flim Flam alternate timeline. That should speed things along.”
“Yeah, yeah. Let me just erase her memories of us first. Unless you want her to run around telling ever pony the truth?”
“We’ve tried that. It gets old fast.”
“Well then, don’t interrupt me. Memory spells are a pain in my rear.”
Celestia’s horn began to glow. The light pulsed in Starlight’s eyes, and she felt something in her head. A presence was moving through her mind – a vast invisible hand which touched her memories, feelings, hopes, dreams—
“Good thing we left the gag on,” Discord observed drily as Starlight began to scream. “I never get why they all do that.”
“It’s something about the way their thoughts get messed with, I think.” Chrysalis observed She poured herself another glass and sipped idly while she watched Starlight. “You know, violation of the mind, being unable to stop your thought from being twisted, that sort of thing. It also hurts like hell.”
“There. Done.” Celestia sighed as the glow around her horn faded. “Give it a minute or two to finish parsing through her mind and we can get this plot moving again.”
“I think we’ll have to hide the Starswirl spell as well,” Discord said. “This has been entertaining, but it’s always a mess to clean up when some pony gets their hooves on it. I mean, remember when Twilight was using it? She got herself trapped in a time loop. Highly amusing, but getting rid of all those timelines was a ton of work.”
“We’ll seal it away once Starlight gives up. Although, now that you mention it, I would be up for another iteration of that after we finish with this one. Maybe we’ll make the main hero someone else, like Rarity. Remember when she and Prince Blueblood got married after all those time loops? That was a long iteration.”
“How did it end again?”
“That’s not important at the moment. All I’m saying is, I’m up for more variety. We could introduce more races to Equestria if you two were up to it.”
“Hm. How do you feel about reindeer?”
Starlight felt the mind-altering magic finish it’s…analysis and begin to work on her mind. Thoughts fled and she felt a haze fall over her memory, clouding it. But she fought to speak even as oblivion drew closer.
“I will…break destiny. Someday, I will kill you.”
“Yeah, good luck with that.” Chrysalis waved one hoof dismissively. “But you’ll remember nothing. You never do.”
“We’ve heard it all.” Discord perched on the table, playing with a card. “Threats, begging, lies. Every reaction, every possible response. And always you promise to remember, all of you. But you never do. Not even Luna remembers.”
“But let’s say you do.” Celestia smiled at Starlight, a regal, warm smile that projected love and affection for her subjects. “If that’s the case, we won’t erase your memory again. If you can defy your destiny and the magic of immortals, we’ll give you a shot.”
The darkness closed in Starlight’s mind. Her last glimpse before the light took her sight was Celestia winking at her.
“We’ll bet on it.”
----
Time passed and flowed and stopped. The river that was time turned out to be a funnel, then a crossroads. And then it became a mirror, and in that mirror a small soul flailed wildly and screamed. It searched for meaning, but only came up with 42. And there was darkness, and forgetting, and then—
Starlight Glimmer staggered as looked around wildly. She was going to—
…Do what? Let’s see. She was walking on clouds because she was in Cloudsdale. On a layer of clouds lower down a young Rainbow Dash was protecting a young Fluttershy from a trio of bullies. Right. She was going to stop Rainbow Dash before she performed the Sonic Rainboom.
Right.
A flash of light. Starlight whirled as Twilight and Spike flew out of the time warp portal. Time to get started again.
Twilight flinched and narrowly dodged the spell as she emerged from the time portal.
“Up for another race-ending fight, Twilight?” Starlight taunted her from a cloud.
Twilight sighed and landed on a cloud in front of Starlight. “No. You were right. I can’t stop—”
She broke off. Starlight frowned. Both Twilight and Spike were staring at her face.
“What?” She demanded, braced for a surprise attack. “What is it?”
Twilight hesitated. “Are you…crying?”
“What? No, I—” Starlight felt at her face. Wetness. Her eyes were blurry. She was crying?
“Is this some kind of trick?” Starlight snarled and swiped at her eyes. “You’re trying to get me to lower my guard, aren’t you?”
“No, I was trying to say that this battle is meaningless. Starlight, I can’t stop you, but you can’t stop me from trying either. We could be stuck trying to do this for all eternity!”
“Sounds good to me.” Starlight shot a blast of magic at Twilight, but the alicorn blocked the spell effortlessly. “All I have to do is wait here. You’re the one going through alternate timelines again and again. Maybe I’ll get lucky and one of them will kill you.”
“Oh yeah?” Spike shook his fist at Starlight from Twilight’s back. “Well, we’re experts at beating bad guys like you! You might beat us a hundred times, but all we have to do is win once!”
“Spike,” Twilight hissed at him. “Stop provoking—”
“Twilight’s twice the unicorn you’ll ever be! We’ll just imprison you and let Rainbow Dash win the race!”
“Oh?” Starlight’s eyes narrowed. “You think just immobilizing me means you’ll win? Think again. I can stop the Rainboom even if you stop me from using magic. Watch!”
Starlight turned. Below her, Rainbow Dash and the three other colts had just begun their race. They sped through the air, and Starlight saw Twilight taking careful aim, ready to stop her if she cast a spell on any of the racers. But her target wasn’t there.
Starlight took a deep breath and bellowed as loudly as she could, “FLUTTERSHY HAS TAIL EXTENSIONS!”
Rainbow Dash halted just as she was about to dive into her sonic-shattering Rainboom and turned around. Every eye fixed on Young Fluttershy as the filly turned first white with shock and then red with embarrassment.
“Seriously?” Rainbow Dash inspected Fluttershy’s tail. “It doesn’t look like that to me.”
“I bet its griffin hair!” The leader of the bullies flew down to stare at Fluttershy’s tail. “That’s so creepy. But cool!”
“Yeah, let’s all get tail extensions!”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash and the other pegasi clustered around Fluttershy who looked ready to faint.
“Seriously?” Spike slapped his forehead. “How’re we supposed to deal with that—whoa!”
The time portal appeared right over Twilight and Spike. The dragon made a grab for Twilight’s mane but missed. He flew into the portal with a sigh. “Here we go again.”
“You don’t understand Starlight!” Twilight desperately fought to stay in the past, but was sucked inevitably into the time portal. “You can’t create a world without Cutie Marks! Taking them away doesn’t make everypony equal! And without our friendships, Equestria will—”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand!” Starlight screamed at Twilight. The fillies and colts looked up in surprise. “Without Cutie Marks, we’d all be—”
Twilight vanished into the time portal. Starlight snarled with fury as she and Spike disappeared, although she knew they would meet again in mere moments. But the words still burned in her chest. They forced themselves out, needing to be said.
“Without Cutie Marks…we’d all be…”
Starlight hesitated. The word she was searching for wasn’t there. Instead another word rose to her lips.
“…free.”
And the wind blew on her face high above Equestria, and Starlight felt the tears trickling down her cheeks. And she had no idea why.