This story is a sequel to Discord's Assistant

Discord is sick of his human assistant. Too crazy. Even for him, but hey, not his problem any more. Princess Celestia might have a way to deal with him. He's not going to terrorize everypony....right?

"This is the PERFECT THING to read at midnight!" -Dream Seeker
"WHAT ARE YOU ON AND CAN I GET SOME." -Disconcerted
"This has to be the greatest thing I've ever read." -Azurus

A lot of people demanded a sequel, so here it is! I want to thank everyone who helped me. Without you guys I doubt I could have done it.

Proofreading done by SteelxPaladin

Discord suddenly has a protégé of sorts. If only his new student wasn't already a master of the chaotic arts....

This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia is in your bed.

It's hard to get rid of a sun goddess when she doesn't want to be gotten rid of.

Reading the prequel is highly recommended. Find Chapter 3 here!
Rated teen for mild language.
Now with audio reading by MelancholyIguana
Cover art by SilFoe.

Taking a vacation in a nice relaxing and peaceful country? That's good.
Taking a vacation and being blamed for the the theft of some very important jewelry? That's bad.
Taking a vacation and becoming public enemy number one? That's really bad.
Taking a vacation and being hunted by adorable pegasi, unicorns, and ponies? That's... different.

A mage decides to take a respite in what he assumes to be the peaceful and safe land of Equestria. Unfortunately he's accused of stealing the "Elements of Harmony", a powerful set of magical regalia, and goes on the run from the law. Now stuck in a land of magical ponies, cut off from his only way home, and now the most wanted creature in Equestria, does he have any hope of proving his innocence and going home?

Maybe, but let's laugh at him as he gets beat up by cute equines!

After committing a series of crimes that he may or may not have actually done, Bob is turned into a statue, sentenced to fours days of endless nightmares...

If you can call watching ponies doing weird, gross, adorable, and uncalled for things to each other nightmarish.

Which Bob does...

Warning:

Contains inappropriate jokes, statue humor, science, fo-dangales, and polly-winks.

A fic in which I'm surprised that no ones ever done :/

A letter sits upon a table where it had not just a moment before. A golden glow lifts it as it unfurls in front of the reader.

Let us see here, how to begin?

Well, I suppose the best way to do so is with introductions. I am Prometheus and while I was, as one might say, tied up for quite some time I noticed your world. I have to say it's quite interesting, but unfortunately stagnant as well. So Miss Celestia I, being the patron of progress that I am, have sent someone your way. He is not a creature native to your world, a species I personally have a great deal of interest in, they're ambitious little scamps. I am bestowing a gift upon him as I send him, one he will in time learn to master. It is my hopes he brings progress to your world, but as the past has proven on many an occasion the best intentions can at times have the worst effects. We'll just have to see how it goes won't we.

Sincerely,
Prometheus

Ha, not as smart as the bastard thinks he is. I managed to snag the paper from him. So "Miss Celestia" my name is Coal and apparently I'm supposed to stir up some dirt. I'll admit I know just as much as to what is going on as you do, but if he's the Prometheus I'm thinking of, things might be a little more complicated than he'd let us believe. Crap, he's coming back. Ummm... Why did I just waste time writing Ummm?

Winter is coming... I'm disappointed with myself if that's the best I can come up with.

A clerical error in the Registry of Mortals sends an unwitting human to a strange land. It wouldn't be so bad, if the ponies there weren't out for his blood.

Literally.

A little twist on the myth that unicorns were hunted for their fantastical powers.

He is a college drop-out part-time worker. He is a dentistry student. Together, they are two total twats with no ambitions to go further then the next game, comic book or puff.

And now, they are ponies. Under the names of Lucky Chance and Midnight Watch they must find a way back to the human world using their extensive knowledge of the television show, the Laws of Narrative and sarcasm.
Will they be able to rise above themselves and face the many challenges that await them? Will they be able to figure out the true meaning of Friendship? Will they be able to not murder each other or themselves while doing so? Do they even want to go back?

Cover Image by CenturionFox13. Proofread by Letedwend

“I’ve been in the land of Equestria for a few months now, and I have seen some of the most mind-boggling things one can ever imagine seeing. When I’d managed to finish that birdbath a few days ago, I have never, not even in my wildest dreams—not in a million lifetimes—would I ever seen an alicorn floating around inside of it.”

(Because of popular demand this story has been placed on the incomplete list, also Chapter titles and name has been edited to better represent the story. Thanks to Jakomi of the Rose for the name suggestion.)

In a world without bacon, five humans find themselves trapped... grazing on mother bucking dandelions. To get home, they'll need to learn that friendship is magic. Too bad none of these jerks are friends.