Apple Bloom is tasked with a homework assignment about rocks.

But she thinks rocks are dumb.

Art gratefully provided to me by Kanzlerin Maud!

Now has a sequel!

A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

Canterlot has nearly fallen.

My troops now flood the streets.

Victory is all but assured.

So why does Celestia have that stupid smile on her face?

And more importantly, why does she wish to speak with me?

Edited by Cerulean Voice and preread by Noble Thought!

After years of gathering magical artifacts and assorted doohickeys, Trixie feels it's finally time to open up her own shop. The only problem is that she's located right across the street from The Golden Oaks Library, much to the annoyance of Ponyville's resident librarian-turned-princess. Luckily none of the stuff Trixie is selling is cursed, or so she's telling ponies.

Princess Twilight sets up a war game for the Royal Canterlot and Crystal Empire guards. By kidnapping Luna and Cadance.

The guards thought she knew the rules. They thought she knew the guard manual backwards and forwards.

Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom re-write the manual... and conquer Equestria.

Edited by Noble Thought.

Cover art: Princess Predicament by radiantrealm

One hundred percent approved by Twilight's Library (also approved by Discord).

A stranger is a friend you haven't met. So many ponies had told her that through the years, Rainbow Dash started believing it, placing absolute faith in ponies she knew nothing about. She never questioned that policy. On a night out with her friends, she meets an enticing stallion who teaches her that trust should be earned.

The carriage sped through the town, coming upon the innocent young Apple Bloom quickly. An instant before death claimed her, she was rescued by a scaly purple hero. The celebration was short-lived as disaster struck once more. She knows not who she is, where she is, or how she came to be how she is. The ones closest to her are now as strangers. Will she ever fully recover, or will the bruise forever spoil this little apple?

The Alicorn Amulet twists its wearer into madness and megalomania. Nopony can wear it without repercussions, both for themselves and others. Nopony is safe. Nopony is exempt.

Still, nopony expected him.

All Scootaloo wants to do is find a bathroom to relieve herself. Is that too much to ask?
In a town like Ponyville, apparently...yes.

The sequel to this story: Sweetie Belle and the Quest for Knowledge is now available!

When Sweetie Belle finds a mysterious artifact of a now lost civilization, how will she come to terms with the wealth of knowledge it provides? It says it can be ignored, it says it will never try to influence her, but can an artifact of such power really be so harmless?

Book I of III

Prologue and Chapter 1: Thanks to TheOtherSideOfFluttershy for pre-reading and editing.
The whole story: Thanks to RaylanKrios for editing.
Chapter 4: Thanks to AuthorGenesis for editing.
Epilogue:
Thanks to Malefactory for editing.