• Member Since 10th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen September 8th

ThaStrangr


Gamer. Pony writer. Layabout. ...That's about it.

E

The carriage sped through the town, coming upon the innocent young Apple Bloom quickly. An instant before death claimed her, she was rescued by a scaly purple hero. The celebration was short-lived as disaster struck once more. She knows not who she is, where she is, or how she came to be how she is. The ones closest to her are now as strangers. Will she ever fully recover, or will the bruise forever spoil this little apple?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 37 )

@ThaStrangr...

Just a quick correction: it is Apple Bloom (two words) rather than Applebloom (one word), unlike her sister Applejack (one word). Source accuracy is always important with fan-fiction writing.

3668306 :facehoof::facehoof:
This is one of those times I simply disgrace the name brony. I knew it was two words, but wrote it as one anyway without even realizing it. Thanks for pointing it out. :twilightsmile:
Correcting!

Ooh, A 'Bloom amnesia story! I like the look of this so far. :twilightsmile:

3668542 Thanks! I hope you enjoy (I have no idea where this story came from :rainbowlaugh:)

3668550...

[Karen Eiffel (played by Emma Thompson)]: I went out... to buy cigarettes and I figured out how to kill Harold Crick.

[Penny Escher (played by Queen Latifah)]: Buying cigarettes?

[Karen Eiffel]: As I was... when I came out of the store I... it came to me.

[Penny Escher]: How...?

[Karen Eiffel]: Well, Penny, like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.

- Stranger Than Fiction (2006 film)

:pinkiesmile:

3668692 Truer words were never spoken. :pinkiehappy:

Can't wait to see where this goes. Take my fave.

3670757 I will gladly, thank you. :twilightsmile: I shall repay you with internet hugz. builderofworlds.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/mlp_hug2.gif

@ThaStrangr...

Yes, this chapter (2) also felt rushed through from the reader perspective (and that is never a positive thing). My advice would be to do some add-on & revision work at some point. In particular, you seem to have skipped over (or neglected) Spike informing Twilight Sparkle over Apple Bloom's amnesiac condition, or at least it reads that way.

Always remember: It is NEVER "too late" to go back and add-on, edit, refine, revise, or even completely overhaul your fan-fiction work(s) for the better.

3718318 Yes, I had intended to revise this chapter a bit later. Stupid me decided to start writing four stories at once. :facehoof:

I could add Spike informing Twilight, but it was my intention to make him more distant, less aware, out of personal guilt for the incident (which is brought up later).

I thank you for your feedback. :twilightsmile:

Oh, poor AJ! Still, once they get over the shock, I'll bet the Apples pull together-- They're good at that. :ajsmug:

3726092 This story is about everyone feeling broken and empty (I'm a jerk like that :rainbowwild:). AJ can't cope with her little sister looking at her as if she were a total stranger. You'll see more of that in the next chapter, when the other five go to see Bloom, completely unaware of her current state. They probably would handle it your way, but where's the fun in that? :pinkiecrazy:

3720392...

Spike being distracted, or informing Twilight Sparkle having slipped his mind, is fine. The problem is from the reader perspective that it looks like the Author neglected that factor. So if/when you do get around to a revision & add-on, I would suggest describing that more in depth so it looks like the character un-intentionally neglected to inform, not the Author.

3726917 Thank you. I hadn't really considered that. I will try to emphasize his distraction more when I get to it.

3728746...

Always happy to help &/or provide guidance. :twilightsmile:

If a character is being neglectful (intentional or not), the Author has to show the reader audience that said character is being neglectful, even if by accident, distraction, or forgetfulness. The Author cannot "not write" anything to show the characters' flaws &/or mistakes, that makes the Author look neglectful.

And that, is the irony of literary writing. :raritywink:

3728789 Ah, the delightful specifics of modern literature. :rainbowlaugh:

I think this needs a tragedy tag. Losing memories due to injury? Truly quaifies in my book.

3771376 Well, if you truly believe so, consider it done. :twilightsmile:

I don't suppose Twilight is going to use her memory spell?

3849791 PLOT HOOOOOOLES!!!!!! :flutterrage:
I can't believe I forgot that spell. I might add in a paragraph explaining the dangers of attempting to force the connection.
Thanks for pointing that out. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: Aaaaaannnd fixed! :pinkiehappy:

Wouldn't just using the Cutie Mark Crusaders tag be easier?

Problem.


As to her regaining her strength, all she has to do is lie down on the ground spread-eagle (preferably on top of a leyline) and wait for the earth to replenish her Earth Pony Magicâ„¢.

Hey, that's what she did in "The Cutie Pox". After she was cured, I expected her to collapse from exhaustion and not wake up for a week, but note how quickly she recovered after lying down spread-eagle on the ground. :twilightsmile:

4205545 :rainbowlaugh: Good point. But I don't think that's the same as a three-day coma.

4204977 It would have, but I'm not known for doing things easy :rainbowwild:

Just when the story was getting good there's no more chapters... damn... You screwed with my feels a bit and I hope to see this story continue to prosper! :pinkiehappy:

4300609 Sorry, I've been working on other stories and have been hitting MASSIVE roadblocks. But if you want it you got it. :raritywink:

4302335 Only if you have the time to continue, I would like for you to do so. Sorry to hear that you've been hitting any amount of roadblocks, small or large. :fluttercry: Other than that... Don't try to hurry through this story or anything. I do wish for it to continue, but I don't wish for you to run yourself ragged due to whatever you happen to do. I do like this story so far... but I can wait for it to continue! :pinkiehappy:

4302438 Yeah I just wanted to build on some other stories a bit, but I think I'll work on this one a little more since it's undoubtedly my best. Glad you enjoy, and thanks for understanding.:twilightsmile: I'll get back to this story right now. And I certainly will not rush it. (Slow and steady wins the race, as it were.)

4302674 :pinkiehappy: Then I hope it turns out to be quite a long adventurous one!... Well, adventurous as it could get... As for your other stories, I might check in on them... Personally, I'm more of a Scootaloo fan fic reader... :twilightblush: This one had a label for Scootaloo and sounded really good, so I guess we can say I just stumbled over it... I'm quite glad I did. I respond quite fast. Do I not?? :rainbowlaugh: Eh. I'm actually reading quite a lot lately... Not sure if it's emotional distraught yet, or something else... Either way, I'm glad to have found it and I'm also glad you're back to working on it!! :pinkiehappy:

Sorry about this ridiculous hiatus on every story I'm writing. My computer broke and I haven't had the money to replace it. :twilightblush: Just got a new phone. Gonna try it for my writing.

THAT.LAST.LINE.

wow. this is good.

They always end chapters/ shows like that

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