//------------------------------// // This is only a drill. // Story: War Games Ponies Play // by Minds Eye //------------------------------//          Apple Bloom swallowed.  “Run that by us again, Twilight?”          “Certainly.  I want you three to watch over these two for me.  Just until the Royal Guard finds you.”          “Yeah, that’s the part I don’t get.”  She looked at the two “guests” behind Twilight Sparkle.  “What in tarnation are you up to?” It wasn’t everyday that three princesses show up on your doorstep.  Even though Princess Cadance’s eyes lit up when she saw her flower girls again, and even though Princess Luna nodded respectfully to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, the fact that two of the four most important ponies in Equestria were tied up and gagged on her family’s farm didn’t sit well with Apple Bloom.  Especially not with the Royal Guard promised to follow.          “Oh, it’s just a drill.  A test.”          Luna snorted.          Twilight whirled around.  “It was your idea!  You were the one who said the guards were more competent a thousand years ago!”          The Princess of the Night glared back from her haunches, hind hooves bound together in front of her, and her forelegs pulled behind her back.          “Oh, don’t give me that look!  You—”          Sweetie Belle cut in.  “Could you back up a bit?  Isn’t today the big christening of your new castle?”          Twilight cackled with glee.  “And that’s why the timing is so perfect!  The three of us were talking last night about the Tirek incident, and what would happen if all the princesses went missing again.  Now that elements of the Royal and Crystal Guard are both in Ponyville, this is the perfect chance to test their cooperation!”          “You tied their wings, too?”  Scootaloo trotted over and poked at the ropes around Princess Cadance’s barrel.  “I know yours are still kinda new, but wings need to move.  They’re gonna cramp!”          Cadance tilted her head towards the filly and nodded at Twilight.          “You worry too much, Cadance!  They’ll find you long before that happens.”          Scootaloo shook her head.  “I’m still untying their wings.”  She bit down on the rope and jumped back with a yelp.          Apple Bloom rushed forward.  “Scoot!  What in the world—”         “It shocked me!”         Sweetie Belle gasped.  “It what?”         “It shocked me!”         Apple Bloom stamped her hoof.  “What’re you tryin’ to pull, Twilight?!”         “I’m sorry, it’s all part of the test.”  Twilight headed for the door.  “They are still alicorns, you know.  Leaving them free to act could contaminate the results.  I enchanted the ropes so no one else but the guards could untie them.  That’s how they win.”         Scootaloo waggled her tongue and flexed her jaw.  “So we’re about to be surrounded by full grown armored stallions ready to break down the door to our clubhouse.  What do we get out of all this?”         Sweetie Belle coughed.  “This... wouldn’t be about that book we... borrowed... would it?”         Twilight tilted her head and flashed a dazzling smile.  “Why don’t you tell me, Sweetie?”  She silenced Princess Luna’s chuckles with a look.  “Just keep them here.  I’ve set up the crime scenes and left plenty of evidence.  This should be over soon.”         Apple Bloom reached for her.  “But what—”         Twilight was gone in a flash.         The Crusaders sat across from the princesses.  Luna narrowed her eyes, watching them warily.  Cadance glanced back and forth between her aunt and the girls before looking around the clubhouse, nodding her head.         Sweetie Belle broke the silence.  “Do we... do we torture them?”         Scootaloo sighed.  “Why, under the sky, would we torture them?”         “I don't know. We kidnapped them, right?  That’s the story Twilight is telling the guards.  If we’re the bad ponies, shouldn’t we act like it?”         Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.  “You could always brew your tea for them.” Luna screamed and leaned forward, shaking her head violently.         “No!”  Scootaloo leapt in between the four.  “You can’t do that to them!”         “C’mon, it was only a joke.  Right Sweetie Belle?”         Sweetie eyed Luna suspiciously.  “Where did that come from?”         Scootaloo’s cheeks flushed.  “When you made your tea for us... I had a nightmare that night.  P-Princess Luna saw the whole thing, and she pulled me out of it.”         Sweetie chuckled.  “You had a nightmare about my tea?”         “I was drowning in it!  It kept sloshing up in my face and down my throat!”         “Scootaloo, it wasn’t that—”         “You put habaneros in it!”         Princess Cadance’s eyes shot open, and a muffled four syllable word came out.  She looked to Princess Luna.         Luna nodded.         “That’s right,” Sweetie Belle said.  “Habaneros.  And I’ve still got some left, so you two behave!  Now don’t we have any board games?  A deck of cards?  Something?”  She turned to scrounge through the clubhouse.         Apple Bloom nudged Scootaloo.  “Lighten up, Scoots.”         “We can’t let her—”         “And we won’t.  It was just a joke.”  She draped a leg around her friend’s shoulders.  “Things won’t get that far.  They can’t get that far.  This is the Equestrian army we’re talking about!”  She looked over to the princesses.  “What can go wrong?”         Luna and Cadance exchanged a look.         Twilight’s teleport dropped her across the street from her new home.  Home.  The word and the image of the crystal tree didn’t quite mesh in her head yet.  It was a probable reason why her teleport didn’t drop her right at the front door like it used to.  It would come with practice, but the important thing right now was the army of guards stationed in front of her.         “ATTENTION!”         The whole congregation snapped to attention as one.  Unicorns and pegasi stood on one side, and the crystal ponies stood on another.  That was exactly what this little game was going to remedy.         The one exception to the divide was the orange pegasus that gave the command.  He marched up to her and saluted.  “Princess Twilight, I didn’t know you left.  Is everything alright?”         She smiled.  “Everything is fine, Flash.  I have an announcement to make.  Is this everypony?”         Flash Sentry looked around.  “I think Captain Silver Wind is still inside.  He was meeting with your friends about something.”         “Here, Your Highness!”  A pegasus stallion adorned in purple and gold armor flew out of the castle gates, pulling his helmet over his white mane.  He landed and snapped off a salute of his own.  “Apologies, Princess Twilight.  Lady Rarity wished to know what formations we would use for our procession inside.” “Sir, didn’t she want to know that last night?” Silver Wind closed his eyes and sighed.  “That she did, Sentry.  Begging your pardon, Highness, but I could not be happier you arrived when you did.”  He opened his eyes and allowed a small smile.  “However, I am pleased to report that the decoration is nearly complete.  Everything is going according to schedule.”         “I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans, Captain.”  Twilight took a breath and raised her voice.  “Princesses Cadance and Luna have been kidnapped!”         Shouts of disbelief filled the air until Silver Wind flew up.  “Hold!  Hold!  AT EASE!  You are soldiers of Equestria, and you will keep your discipline!”  He looked over his shoulder.  “Princess Twilight, when did this happen?  I just saw them this morning.”         Twilight spread her wings and joined him in the air.  “One hour ago, the princesses were captured inside their rooms and spirited away somewhere in Ponyville.  They are held by ropes that I have ensured can only be untied by a member of their specific guard.  You must work together to find them!”         “What?”  Flash Sentry looked up at her in confusion.  “How would you know—”  His eyes shot wide open, and he pumped a hoof in the air.  “It’s a war game!”         Shouts of disbelief were replaced with those of excitement.  Twilight raised her hooves for silence.  “Twice now Equestria has been faced with a threat that incapacitated one or more princess.  The purpose of this exercise is to test the effectiveness of the Equestrian military with no leadership.  Expect no aid from myself or Princess Celestia when she arrives from Canterlot.”         Silver Wind landed and looked to Flash Sentry.  “A military force must have one clear leader.”         Flash nodded.  “After Princess Cadance, Shining Armor is our next in command.  He isn’t here right now.”         “And after Celestia and Luna, I am next in our chain of command.”         “Sir, I would say we have a clear leader.”         “I will need your help as well.  You know your stallions better than I do.”         “Of course, Captain.  We’re at your command.”         Twilight gave a satisfied sigh.  The first hurdle was handled with perfect professionalism.  “With that decided, BEGIN!”         Silver Wind waved his hoof forward.  “Arrest the traitor!”         Twilight blinked.  “I’m sorry, what?”  Before she could blink again, Flash Sentry tackled her to the ground.  More guards charged forward to pin her down.  “Let go!  What are you doing?  Let go!”         Flash grunted as he flipped her over to her stomach and pulled her forelegs back.  “I’m sorry, was that too rough?  This is still a game after all.”         “Yes, it’s too rough!  What are you thinking?”         “Hold her tight, Sentry.  Unicorns, bind her with the ropes.”  Silver Wind crouched down.  “I apologize for the indignity, but it’s part of the rules.  War games begin when the initial action is taken.  One hour ago, you said.  The princesses were taken an hour ago from inside your castle, and the one who told us this was you.  Who else would know what happened but the kidnapper?”         The guards let go of her, and Twilight struggled with the ropes.  “But why would I kidnap them?  It doesn’t make any sense!”         “The throne?  An Equestria united under you and your brother?  We’ll save the interrogation scene for when the investigation has more evidence.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have malcontents to round up.”         “You what?”         “Everypony knows about the Elements of Harmony.  Whatever you were planning, your friends were probably in on it.  We can’t just leave them in there.”         “No, you’re supposed to search the castle!  Search!  Not attack!  There are clues in the princesses’ chambers.  You can’t just—whoa!”  Flash Sentry hoisted her up to his back and walked away.  “Hey, put me down!”         Silver Wind saluted and turned away.  He took flight for the castle gates, shouting “Go, go, go!”  A full spectrum of color surrounded the doors.  With a mighty crash, they were pulled from their hinges.  “In the name of Celestia—surrender, traitors!”         Twilight watched the guards pour into breach, following their fearless leader.  “I can’t believe this is happening.”         “Ha!  Neither can I.”  Flash stopped next to a sky chariot and put her down.  “All the war games at the academy were escorting merchants or something.”  He shook his head with a grin.  “This is practically a doomsday scenario.  One princess kidnaps two others and who knows what she has planned for the fourth?  This is awesome!”         “At least somepony is enjoying it.”  She struggled against her ropes again.  “You do realize how crazy this is, right?  Cadance and Luna agreed to this!  Why would we do something this elaborate with Celestia coming in so soon?  This was supposed to be quick!”         He shrugged.  “Silver Wind does things by the book.  You haven’t noticed that yet?  He won’t let something as obvious as your friends pass by without checking it out.”         “Except my friends don’t know what’s happening!  Applejack and Rainbow Dash could really hurt some—”         “We got ’em!”  Four crystal ponies ran out of the castle, each one with one of her friends bound on their back.         One of the guards dumped Fluttershy in the chariot, and she flopped over like a boned fish.  Twilight leaned over to look into her eyes.         “She’s gone, Twi.”  Applejack was dropped next.  “Ah!  Watch it, you sparkly piece of scum!”         Twilight smirked as Rainbow Dash blushed and scooted away from the others as soon as she hit the chariot.  “And what happened to you?”         “I’m afraid dear Rainbow was caught in a fit of hysterics when the assault came.”  The crystal pony carrying Rarity set her down gently.  She smiled up at him.  “Thank you, good sir.”         Twilight stared at Rainbow.  “You were laughing.  My new home was just invaded, and your response was to start laughing.”         Rainbow kicked at her.  “I didn’t know they were serious!”         Flash’s hoof pointed at each of them.  “Wait, where’s the other one?”         Silver Wind stormed out of the castle.  “I never even saw a piano in there!  Where did she get that?  And the boards and nails!  How could anyone build a barricade so quickly?”         Applejack let out a belly laugh.  “That’s Pinkie Pie for you.  Y’all better just let her be.”         A unicorn guard spoke up.  “Begging your pardon sir, but we could probably—”         Splat!         A pie fell on his horn, and a voice boomed from the balcony.  “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIIIIIVE!”         The unicorn licked his lips.  “Hm.  Lemon meringue.”         Another unicorn perked up.  “Oh, I love lemon meringue!”         Splat!         “I ALSO HAVE PUMPKIN AND CHOCOLATE CREAM!”         “Enough!”  Silver Wind slapped the pies off the guards’ horns.  “We have prisoners that need questioning.  Take them to Canterlot.  For a plot of this scope, Celestia alone could pass judgement.”         Rarity squirmed in her bonds.  “He... isn’t serious?”         Twilight sighed.  “What do you think?”         “Twi, what in tarnation did you get us in to?”         “Oh, not much.”  She leaned back.  “I just kidnapped Princess Luna and Cadance and handed them over to somepony else for safekeeping.  It’s only a drill.  Once the guards find them, this will blow over.”         Applejack raised an eyebrow.  “And who did you leave ‘em with?  ‘Cause they just ripped down the doors to your castle and stormed in like locusts.  They ain’t treating this like a game.  Who in Ponyville could handle something like that?”         “Um, promise you won’t get mad?”