You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

Every week or so, Rarity gathers all of her friends for a little get-together at her boutique. Or at a cafe. Or in Sugarcube Corner. Anywhere that serves tea or tea can be brought in.

And every time, as soon as their conversation steers towards that most intimate of topics, Rainbow Dash falls silent.

Twilight Sparkle thinks that Cheerilee would provide a very interesting partner... to talk to... about literature. Nothing else. Right?

Bon Bon's voice is funny, and that's about all that anypony who meets her notices, as her marefriend Lyra soon steals the spotlight with her explosive personality, strange obsessions, and curious beliefs. And why not? Bon Bon is, after all, a perfectly ordinary, boring pony in every way but two: her voice, and the carefully kept secret that she isn't really a pony.

(Edit:) Now with an annotated version, courtesy of the incomparable Shoggoth Lord!

There was only one explanation. For all of it. All of the strange, erratic behavior. Her irrational fear of the sun. Her nocturnal habits of locking herself in in the dark and closing all the blinds. Wearing her sunglasses everywhere, even inside! It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake.

Throughout all of history, one concept has kept both the written and spoken word from becoming an unintelligible mess. That concept is that most holy of grounds known by some as "grammar." It sets down rules for language to follow, and keeps it free of distortion.

Yet something is wrong. The rules are failing. And only one pony so much as suspects that something is wrong. Something that goes deeper than a simple appearance of errors. Something that could be an attack on the very root of language itself.

An odd request from Princess Celestia stirs up a new hurdle in the life of the mane six.
With one month until the next Gala, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and the rest of the gang are given extra tickets. Why? Simply so that they may ask their special stallions to attend with them. But with one month until the Gala comes one month to choose who to bring.

Okay, I don't know if anyone can hear this, or read this, or whatever, but I'm trying my best to use Pinkie Pie's legendary fourth-wall-breaking powers to try and get a message out.

If you can hear this, I need help. I'm in Equestria, and man, this is strange. But I'm also stuck in Pinkie Pie's body, for some reason.

Yes, it's just as weird as it sounds. And now, I need your help... because all the ponies in this town think I'm crazy!

Twilight and Dash, upon discovering that the long awaited "Daring Doo 4" movie contains, eugh, Humans, decide to rent out A Nightmare Moon on Elm Street.

Of course all their friends are invited. There is absolutely no way any shenanigans could possibly ensue.

None.

Lyra loves Bon-Bon very, very much.

Enough, in fact, to overlook the cream-coloured, beautiful-voiced, wondrous-smelling mare's raging, overwhelming, caricatural homophobia.

This would be the state of the union; Pinkie Pie, however, being as she is, thinks all this 'unrequited love' nonsense is nonsense for silly fillies and dusty old books, and as such decides to intervene.

Background PinkieDash.

omaigawd I got put on eqd

now with a reading