The Matronly Appeal
Cheerilee hated humid days. She didn’t hate a lot of things, in fact, she made sure her students were as far away from subjects such as ‘hate’. There was no room for it in her classroom. She was careful when it came to things like hate. But humidity deserved it. It made paper sticky, it made hooves sticky, it made that awful scllllleck sound when you left the frog of your hoof on the table too long and it would peel off the surface. Hate was well-deserved for humidity, but again, she kept it out of her classroom.
Her classroom had some wonderful enchantments on it that kept it from being too hot or too cold. Or too Celestia-dammed humid. Like today was. The stickiness of the hanging water in the air stuck to her coat and made every step, every movement, feel like she was slogging through the worst excuse of a swimming hole this side of Canterlot. Cheerilee hated humid days.
It stood to reason that, upon leaving the similarly enchanted tree house her marefriend lived in and into the humid soup of the outside, on days like today she would do equally unpleasant tasks as the worst weather imaginable. No use mucking up a good day doing something you never wanted to do. Cheerilee picked up the speed of her trot as she waved greetings to whichever pony got close enough to her. She didn't stick around long enough for idle chit chat like talking about the weather.
Cheerilee hated talking about the weather.
Relenting, Cheerilee reiterated that point in her head. She hated talking about bad weather. The sun could be shining and not a cloud could be in the sky and she’d talk somepony’s ear off about the weather, but today she wanted nothing to do with it. She just wanted to get to the most unpleasant thing she could think of doing and get it over with.
She was going to her mother’s.
Ponyville had the odd characteristic of having a lot of houses, but very little deviation between them. Some ponies would simply plant flowers that resembled their cutie marks, or change the color of their shutters. Cheerilee knew that some time ago when Ponyville was founded, the settling ponies were quick to put up a certain type of architecture because it was easy and serviceable. However, as time went on, it made keeping track of where one was a slight bit difficult. It took entrepreneurial ponies like the Cakes or Rarity to commission the work of some architect to craft a unique looking house or business.
The point was Cheerilee was trying very hard not to feel absolutely awful for forgetting which house was exactly the one she partially grew up in.
It’s not that she was a terrible daughter, forgetting exactly where her mother lived and raised her. No, it was simply that she had a system for remembering how to get to her mothers’ from certain places in Ponyville. She had never quite ventured to this part of town from the library, so it stood to reason that she’d be a little lost. Nothing too much.
Well, that’s what she told herself, anyway. “Cheerilee!” a voice called, catching her attention. Daisy stood nearby, waving with her watering can in one hoof. “So good to see you!” she smiled. Cheerilee absolutely beamed at her former student– Daisy was on her last year of school when Cheerilee was on her first year of teaching, and what’s more, was that she also happened to be her mother’s next-door neighbor.
“Daisy! How good to see you. How are the flowers this year?” Cheerilee greeted. Daisy was, for all intents and purposes, the most standard kind of pony you could find. Kind, reliable to a point, easy to make small talk with. Completely and utterly non-threatening in any way, whatsoever. She wasn’t even all that perceptive, either, seeing as she never seemed to question the conga line of mares that often left the house next door, often looking like they survived a night wrestling with a grizzly bear.
“Oh, they’ve been fantastic! One of the best years for my daisies. Rose has been talking up her flowers all month, but I think I’ll be showing her who’s who in this year’s Flower Show!” Daisy giggled, which Cheerilee returned in kind. “So what are you doing out here today?”
Cheerilee waved her hoof, dismissing the question with a smile. “Oh, nothing much, just on my way to visit my mother is all. Nothing special.”
Daisy gave her a long stare. “But Cheerilee, isn’t your mom’s place... that way?” Pointing her hoof, Daisy gestured over to the house Cheerilee had just passed. “I thought you were leaving.”
Cheerilee stared at the home in question. Familiar shutters, hedges, and– the door was painted pink with white trim. That’s how she remembered which one was hers. “Oh! Um, yes. That’s correct. I just... came over to see how you were doing, Daisy!” she lied, her smile rigid. “But I just realized what I needed to talk about with my mother was important so I have to go. See you later!” Before Daisy could even so much as say farewell, Cheerilee nearly galloped the final paces toward her door and opened it without a second thought.
As it turned out, coffee was spilled over the table. Well, not so much coffee as a pony. Her blonde mane was just south of everywhere and did a fantastic job of covering her face. However, that didn’t stop Cheerilee from recognizing the prone form as that of the waitress from last night, her uniform discarded on the floor near Cheerilee’s hooves, the nametag reading, Hot Coffee. “Ah,” she mused, disdainfully kicking the uniform aside and trotting past the unconscious mare. “It’s not like Mother to leave her toys out.”
Ignoring a rather loud snore from the pony behind her, Cheerilee entered the kitchen. Sat at the table was her mother, no worse for wear as last night. She was in a bathrobe, pale blue and completely untied. Her mane was tied in two small double buns on either side of her head, skillfully wrapped in such a way that would confuse most anypony without magic. “Mother.” Her mother smiled, her eyes sparkling as she saw her daughter. As she put her mug of coffee down, Cheerilee couldn’t help but quip, “Haven’t you had enough Coffee this morning?” It may have been her powers as a teacher, but it was clear that the 'c' in coffee was capitalized when she said it out loud.
She laughed, of course, shrugging her shoulders as she slid off the table. She approached her daughter and wrapped her in a hug, which Cheerilee readily returned on instinct. “Cherry, what a surprise to see you! Sorry about the living room, we didn’t quite make it as far as I thought we would.”
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before mother. This is actually fairly... tame, considering,” Cheerilee said, looking towards the door every few moments in wait to see the mare from last night. “Much better than when I caught you with my teacher...”
“I keep telling you, Cherry, it had no effect on your grades whatsoever,” her mother defended, putting a hoof gently on her chest. “And really, that mare still has the spunk of a thirty-year-old.” Putting her hoof on the table, she leaned her head against the frog of her hoof. “You’d think the politics would make her tired.”
Cheerilee poured herself a cup of coffee, her mother’s words flowing in one ear and out the other. She would continually forget to censor herself for her daughters, and in the end, Cheerilee had adapted to it, rather than her mother learning that some things were not meant for other ponies’ ears. “Mmhm,” she murmured, simply agreeing to move the conversation along. Twilight had good coffee at her home, but it wasn’t anything like the stuff her mother would keep around. It was one of the few joys she could expect from visiting. Sitting down at the table, Cheerilee simply stared and nodded every so often as her mother recounted the latest news around Ponyville, never forgetting to explain in detail just which mares she bedded along the way. Somewhere between talking about old times with Mrs. Cake and reveling in the time she was approached by Merry Way, a barely legal mare, Cheerilee considered that Hot Coffee’s mother might have gotten her daughter’s name by way of euphemism while visiting this house. By the time her mother was winding down, Cheerilee had convinced herself this was the case.
“But enough about me, Cherry. How are you doing? And how is that wonderful little purple mare? Mm, she was cute!” she sighed contentedly, a small smile on her face. “And a unicorn. Mm, you do have your mother’s taste.”
Cheerilee’s eye twitched, but she quickly breathed in deeply, regaining her composure. “Her name is Twilight, mother. You know that. We were both there. Last night.”
Her mother nodded, her smile growing as she let her eyes close. “Yes, I suppose we were.”
“That’s actually what I wanted to talk about with you today. Don’t get me wrong Mother, I don’t dislike you, but it was very... let’s say surprising to see you there.”
“Oh, Cherry, I thought I told you I was feeling a mite bit peckish, and wanted to treat myself a little bit!” her mother said, taking a short sip from her coffee. “I really didn’t mean to take that waitress home, but she was so willing, dear. She really reminds me of some mare I used to know around here. Coffee Bean, I think it was?”
Cheerilee huffed, blowing air out one side of her mouth. She had just gotten over listening to her mother’s stories, she was not about to stomach another. “Yes, maybe, I don’t know Mother. Back to the restaurant. I find it hard to believe my own mother would come to the same restaurant as I would, sit behind me, and not offer one small smidgen of warning that she was there all night!”
Her conversation partner looked taken aback, placing a hoof over her heart as she leaned back from the table. “Why Cheerilee, are you assuming that I was... spying on you?”
Cheerilee’s eyes fell into half-moons as her voice went just as flat. “I think we can drop pretense Mother. That's exactly what you were doing.”
At first, her mother looked flabbergasted. Then offended, but finally, she melted it all into one big smile and took her mug into both hooves. “Mm, yes I was,” she admitted plainly, her shoulders relaxing as she breathed in the aroma from her coffee. “I was on my way to visit you at the schoolhouse after hours to speak to you about that– ahem, Twilight Sparkle. See? I remember her full name.”
“I’ll have to remember to put a gold star on your next report card,” Cheerilee deadpanned.
“Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I’d put it on the fridge. Fact is, I saw you and her just as you were leaving, and I was just too curious to let bygones be bygones. So I snuck behind you a little and listened in. She’s a very interesting mare. Very smart. I can see why you like her. Although... a bit inexperienced for your tastes, isn’t she?”
Cheerilee’s expression darkened. “And what’s that supposed to mean, mother?”
Rolling her eyes around, her mother seemed to be drawing information out of the cosmos. “Oh, I dunno honey. There was that lovely, leggy unicorn from Canterlot you sent me a photo of when you were away at college. She had the look of a heartbreaker, I cannot imagine how you let her get away and not the other way around—”
“Fleur and I were very different ponies who wanted very different things. I wanted to teach, Fleur wanted to have her legs wrapped around anypony she took the slightest fancy to, including my own moth—”
“And when you were young, you had such a crush on the Starswirl the Bearded fellow. Straight out of the history books, you said he looked so dashing. Oh, the look on your face when I told you he had so many partners that there was a statistical chance of 1% that you were his descendant. I swear you swore off all stallions forever at that point.”
“No, mother, that didn’t come until later when I dated that pony who became a doctor...”
Her mother smiled, “Yes, that nice unicorn doctor.”
“I’m leaving.” Cheerilee slid her empty mug away from her, getting on all four hooves as she made for the door.
“Cherry, wait—"
“Mornin’” came a groggy voice from the doorway. Rubbing her eyes with her hoof, Hot Coffee took a moment to realize the young mare in front of her wasn’t the pony she stayed the night with. “Oh! Um—”
“Hello,” Cheerilee greeted flatly, “Don’t mind me, I’m just leaving. Mother, I’ll see you later. Much later, Celestia willing.”
“Oh, Cherry, I’m sorry I embarrassed you...!” Her mother called behind her, but Cheerilee had already put her departure into motion. Stepping over Coffee’s uniform, she headed out the door. Stopping at the kitchen door herself, Cheerilee’s mother sighed dejectedly. “Oh ponyfeathers.”
Hot Coffee rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she looked toward the coffeemaker. “Z’at your daughter?” she murmured, stepping awkwardly around the elder pony. “I need coffee...”
“Yes, that was my daughter. I’m afraid she takes a little too much after me, sometimes,” she sighed, watching Cheerilee disappear past the windows. She tried to see her for as long as she could, but eventually, she dragged herself back to the kitchen to be with her guest.
“Canterlot Cutlery? Celestia, that’s swank.” Hot Coffee busied herself with the coffeemaker, but she looked over to the mother. “So, I think she’s older than me.”
To say that Cheerilee’s mother was not amused by that would be an understatement.
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So like, does that mean Cheerilee is making an appeal to her mother?
Or does the title mean things that are appealing to her mother?
Buy Canterlot Cutlery.
Why have I not thought of this pairing before! IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!!
... Hot Coffee's still out of it, isn't she? Even half-asleep you'd think she'd realize that's probably not something she should mention, at all, ever.
Also, did you miss a "didn't" here?
(Between 'but' and 'stick'? Wow, that sounds awkward.)
I think you accidentally Daisy's name.
Good chapter though, loving poor Cheerilee's attempt to have some control of her life.
...and Hot Coffee is now a relevant pony in this story.
Nice to see this updated.
Cheerilee's former teacher that her mother banged is now in politics? Oooh... I hope you're hinting at Mayor Mare!
I absolutely LOVE the mother daughter relationship dynamic you're writing here. Seriously, too funny and interesting~
One small nit pick, not sure if it was on purpose or not:
“Canterlot Cutlery? Man, that’s swank.”
I'm not sure if you meant to say 'Man' or not in this line.
1542875
Heheh, I just got done reading A Delicate Balance which has a running gag of everyone thinking it's obvious Twilight should go for Cheerilee and said unicorn is left exasperated about it.
So what you're saying is, Cheerilee's mom is a bit of a whore.
It's as if she is Cloudkicker's mentor.
oh the lols, so many of them. XD
1543045 could be changed to 'Mane' or 'Mare' pretty easily.
...waitaminute, 'Hot Coffee'? I call hacks.
Hot Coffee. Nice. I actually like Cheerilees mom. She reminds me of a favorite relative of mine.
Well, when your sleep-around parent is homosexual, there is at least no chance of you accidentally dating your half-sibling.
Dammit, Cheerilee, you're getting shit for christmas.
1543241
I was just about to post that we needed to see some interaction between Appeal and Winningverse.
Ouch Hot Coffee, Ouch.
You just called the mare you banged last night "Old".
I dont think you'll be getting any from her again, unless you were very good in bed...uh...on the table as it were.
1543688
Let's not. The less Charlie Sheen stops by Ponyville, the better. Literary Appeal is strong enough to stand on its own without resorting to a crossover.
The line Cheerilee's mother quipped about the report card immediately made me love her. That was too fantastic. Honestly I felt like this whole chapter was a gem. Very entertaining.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
I must admit, I love this story much.
One thing irks me however; the rating. It seems like this should have been uped to teen by now, seeing as the mother clearly explains how she's a total wh- um, well, you know...
1543075
Or a slut.
1544402
oi, slutshaming
The author did a good job of not judging Cheerlie's mom negatively (same with the Winningverse), don't throw things off.
1543075 1544402
Whores do it for money, sluts do it for fun. At least try to keep your epithets straight, people. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
But yeah, I think Cheerilee's mom is growing on me. If nothing else, she'd be a hoot to hang around. Just gotta not care too much when she steals your mares out from under you. Sometimes literally.
1545635 At least she isn't the common view of Octavia's mother
This is getting really interesting now. Keep it up
Cheerilee's sarcasm just makes me snort with laughter.
The report card bit? Pure GOLD. 
1545789
I stand corrected.
files-cdn.formspring.me/photos/20120726/n5011ed115b1ef.jpg
1543976
Welcome to your opinion, welcome to mine. -I'D- like to see how Cheerimom and Cloud Kicker relate to each other.
1545847
I honestly dont read much with octavia much so i dont know what that would be. I will assume the worst and suggest we burn all characters we dont like at the stake. Because violence solves everything
More dam you more
I imagine Cheerilee's father as a ponified version of this guy:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100606065644/friends/images/0/0b/RossGeller.jpg
Ross Geller pony here got Cheerilee's mother knocked up, and now she's a lesbian Barney Stinson.
t.qkme.me/3ofbgr.jpg
Which by the way, Barney Stinson plus ponies would mean
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/068/4/9/awesome_barney_stinson_and_cool_rainbow_dash_by_normanb88-d4s709g.jpg
Who's more awesome, Barney Stinson, or Rainbow Dash?
Anyway, I'm getting carried away, love the chapter and the joke you inserted at the end was brilliant.
Can't wait for the next part, I'm excited for more Twilight awkwardness
1545083
Sorry, I just prefer sex not to be treated as using someone elses body for physical pleasure. It's really disheartening to see people treat it so callously. I'm not trying to offend the author, I only dislike the character of Cheerilee's mom being written that way. Really, I dislike any character being written that way.
1545635
^ That's why.
1543688
lol, different winningverse
1545789
dammit cloudkicker get of off the comment board (not directed at you, just a joke)
1547512
violence is magic
this chapter was hilarious as usual but i feel bad for HC's mom once she realized what hot coffee was a euphorism for, but shame on her for assuming that she would have a coffee related passion (almost certainly waitress, small chance of C.bean collector or coffee-maker maker dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png )
1542926
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
For now on, I'm reading Cheerilee's mother's dialogue in the voice of Elvira Kurt.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShqg--Gy6r3I35yugV85UhZDl_ovs4FGZ6vXa4nA7tpetojuLu4Q
1552153
Sex can and has, and will always be used for by some people as simple physical pleasure. Cheerilee's mother is written as someone who, for the most part, believes that this is perfectly acceptable. That said, I wouldn't sell the old mare so short.
Not every character is representative of my views on society, but having each character be a carbon copy, P.C. friendly cardboard cut-out of the same personal views would make a pretty boring story. Not everypony is the same, but they are to be loved just the same.
Now if you excuse me, I seem to have misplaced my chonga.
1567343
Yeah, I know there will always be people like that, and I didn't think that it represented your views at all. Every story definitely a variety of characters to make it interesting.
Chimmy or Cherry?
1567437
Ahem.
1589010
Oh, lol.
I usually forget about most of my comments until someone actually replies to them.
1545847
The only version of Octavia's mother I've read and remember is from Octavia Takes the Bus.
She was rich and controlling. Not sure what that has anything to do with this story.
If Cheerilee's mother is so into mares, how in the name of Celestia did Cheerilee happen?
Also, Cheerilee dated Fleur de Lise in college? Hot.
That last line...oh boy!
Can anyone say...milf much?!
Still a funny and great read though...
Looking forward to what happens next with Twi and Cherry
Cheerilee's mom has got to be the most infamous mare lover in all of Ponyville.
I think Cloud Kicker could take a few lessions from Cheery's mom.
4255581
More like all of Equestria.