The Blue Mare, in what Twilight Sparkle was sure was false advertising, had its walls painted in an array of seductive reds. Gold trim bordered all the rooms and doorways, including the fake windows that dotted the walls. The small alcoves were home to an array of roses and other romantic flowers, which were accented with the complex floral pattern on the carpeting, with its green vines and red flowers. It was the perfect spot for a romantic evening.
“It’s a bit much, isn’t it?” Cheerilee asked, her voice tinged with boredom. Twilight snapped back to attention as the schoolteacher went on. “I swear, I read the exact same kind of restaurant description in all my books, and this place looks like it was lifted right off the pages.”
“And what’s with the name, ‘The Blue Mare?’ It sounds like a bar in Canterlot,” Twilight added, taking a long, exaggerated sip from her small glass of wine. A stock smile was plastered on her face, hiding the very fact that The Blue Mare was a bar in Canterlot. A bar for fillies. A bar for fillies who liked other fillies. They had the best Maregaritas.
“They have the best Maregaritas,” Cheerilee smiled, giving Twilight a conspiratorial wink. The poor girl gagged so hard on her drink that she nearly gave Cheerilee an impromptu shower, but instead decided it would be better to drown in her own embarrassment and started coughing and sputtering into her magically levitating napkin. Cheerilee’s hoof dove for her own napkin, hesitating on passing it to Twilight or not as she ignored the looks from the other tables.
“I’m fi–” Twilight coughed, trying desperately to calm down. “Fine,” she guttered out, her voice a little hoarse. Cheerilee, on the other hoof, was failing spectacularly at keeping her face straight as Twilight kept her face hidden in the scarlet napkin. “I didn’t think you made it out of Ponyville much.”
“I’m a little older than you, Twilight, and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to see Equestria myself. I did have to go to college to become a teacher, after all.” Cheerilee smiled, her eyes wandering toward the ceiling in thought. “I was born in Canterlot, and spent some years there before moving to Ponyville."
Twilight straightened up immediately as the subject of her hometown came up. “You did?” she beamed, her voice still carrying a bit of grunting to it.
"Yes, then..." Cheerilee trailed off, her eyes narrowing. "A lot happened, I and my sister were just fillies at the time. We were here a while before my mother was called back to Canterlot just when I was finishing up my education, so my last years of school and college were actually in Canterlot."
"That's... fascinating, Cheerilee!" Twilight's growling voice was almost fully recovered, sounding much more like herself than a grizzled crime-fighter. "That means you might have even met my brother around that time."
Cheerilee chuckled. "Yes. Actually, did you know that he came to me to ask about Princess Cadenza? I had only just moved there but I guess even then students trusted me."
Twilight's face drained of color as she looked at her marefriend. "You!?" Gasping for breath like she had been kicked in the chest, Twilight shook her head. "Had my brother not... he could have never got together with Cadence!" Putting her hooves on the side of her head, she eyed the glass of wine eagerly. "Wow. Woow
Cheerilee couldn't help but giggle a little bit. "Did I just blow your mind, Twilight?" All she got in return was a dumb nod and a very thirsty pony as Twilight made as if to down the rest of her drink. Deciding to partake a little for herself, Cheerilee decided it was best to continue the conversation elsewhere. "I loved Canterlot. There is so much to it, the architechure, the libraries–"
Twilight's ears perked up. Reeling back from her now decidedly almost empty drink, she couldn't help but interrupt her date. “The knowledge, the sophistication, the atmosphere–”
“The late-night parties, all those wonderfully toned unicorns...” Cheerilee smiled, a sly smile growing wider as her date’s face grew terribly white, then red, then white again. “Oh ho, Twilight, I’m kidding,” Cheerilee comforted. “Sort of,” she relented. Twilight stared at the empty table in front of her, her eyes finding the cross stitch on the tablecloth to be exceptionally fascinating. By the intensity of her focus, one might have expected her to find the code to all of magicdom in it. “Twilight?”
Looking up slightly, Twilight gave a pitiful smile. “I never partied much when I was younger.”
“I’m not surprised, Twilight. I was a mare with no expectations, but you were the Princess’s personal purple pupil pony!”
“Try saying that five times fast,” Twilight choked out, her voice finally returning to normal. Cheerilee took this with a smile, but Twilight wasn’t looking at her.
Looking beyond Cheerilee, she noticed another mare that looked a lot like the schoolteacher, but obviously older, with a darker tone to her coat. She gave Twilight the biggest smile and a little wave, which the unicorn was about to return when the waiter appeared, slipping her portabella mushroom burger on the table.
“Apologies about the wait, madams,” the green stallion smiled, his horn letting down Cheerilee’s full salad down in front of her. “If there is anything more I can get you, please do not hesitate to ask,” he smiled, before turning to go.
“Oh, waiter, I did have something to ask. I seem to be out of wine, so if you’d be so kind...” Twilight began, but the waiter was quick to produce a bottle. Smiling, Twilight raised her glass, which the auburn-haired stallion quickly filled. “Thank you.”
“Would you like me to leave the bottle?”
Twilight looked unsure, but Cheerilee placed her hoof on his outstretched foreleg, gently coaxing him to leave it on the table. “Yes, please. That way we don’t have to track you down later if we’re feeling a bit parched.”
With a pause and a smile, the green stallion left the bottle. “Let me know if you need anything else.” With that, the pony was off, disappearing behind one of the many walls that divided the sections of the restaurant.
“Don’t we have to pay extra for the bottle?” Twilight asked, suspiciously eying the tall glass bottle, tinged with green glass with a very deep red liquid inside, tinted into a purple color.
Cheerilee smiled, tipping her glass back as she sipped her wine. “It’s on me Twilight. I really don’t get out much, so even on a teacher’s salary, I have quite a few bits saved for nights out like this!” Twilight seemed unsure, picking up her knife and fork with her magic and attempting to cut into her mushroom burger instead of dwelling on it. “It’s really alright, Twilight.” However, Twilight’s brow was furrowed as she continued to attempt to cut through her mushroom, the knife speeding up it’s cutting motion as the unicorn’s horn flared. “Twilight, dear, you might want to–”
“It’s alright, Cheerilee, I got this just fine. The mushroom is just– really tough!” Beads of sweat started to appear on her brow as the blade swished back and forth, rubbing uselessly against the rubbery texture of the mushroom. “How do they expect anypony to eat this if a knife can’t even cut through it?”
Cheerilee smiled, leaning her head on her hoof as she watched Twilight work much too hard at cutting her mushroom into manageable pieces. Pushing her mane to one side, she reached out to her date. “Twilight, you’re using the wrong side of the knife.” Placing her hoof on Twilight’s leg, Cheerilee didn’t expect what happened next.
The knife turned into a rocket.
Suddenly a ballistic weapon, Twilight’s knife careened off the mushroom-steak burger and into the open air near Cheerilee’s head, severing a large lock of her hair. Whizzing past the aged mare behind Cheerilee, the knife found itself heading for the only real window in the room, thankfully left open to let the afternoon breeze in.
The knife soared across Ponyville, seeking out loose manes in its quest for slicing justice. Whipping about, nopony’s mane was safe. It gave Hokey Smokes a buzz cut, shaved half of Ace’s mutton chops, and gave Rabbit Foot the best mustache trim he ever had. And it cleared the village and headed into the Everfree forest, where it would eventually befriend a sea serpent and have adventures. It was a good life for the knife.
Elsewhere, Twilight gaped numbly at the lock of pink and puce hair that had fallen in the salad. Cheerilee reached slowly to her mane, finding roughly six inches of space where her mane had been just moments ago. Her eyes trailed downward, her ruined salad buried under a sea of pink. The restaurant patrons around them stared at the ponies in silent judgment of their crimes against normalcy.
Slowly, Cheerilee raised her hoof up, and within moments the green stallion had returned. “Uh, mm. Waiter?”
“Yes?” He asked, having witnessed the entire spectacle. Twilight still stared off into space, unbelieving of what had just transpired. Cheerilee motioned slowly to her plate.
“I believe... that there is some hair in my salad.”
“I can see that. Would you like me to ask the chef to make you a new one? On the house, of course.”
Cheerilee nodded dumbly. “That would be wondeful, thank you.”
With a spark of his horn, the waiter picked up the salad in a wash of red-orange magic, giving the two mares a smile. “If there is anything else I can get you two, just let me know–”
“Wine!” Cheerilee blurted out. Twilight’s eyes shifted to the bottle already on the table. Cheerilee’s voice stayed calm and steady, her eyes deadlocked on the waiter’s. “More wine. Please.”
“Of course, Madam.”