Pseudometha
This adds a bit of colour to Allocatastrophe (and allows me to have a neat chapter count of ten). This is told from Bon-Bon's perspective, and it's a foil to Lyra's unreliable narration. This completely ruins the diabetes mood, so feel free to ignore it if you like sweet nothings.
She's, like, all over me.
Okay, I know I'm doing this for my best friend, but the whole part where she's gone and put her tongue down my throat wasn't part of the plan. So I kinda push her over, and she's under me and she's still sticking to me like that and I'm pretty sure this is worse than that time in college I tried to put wine up my—
“Oh hay yeah!”
I swear I'm gonna break that filly-fooler's neck for roping me into this. At least the voice makes her pull her tongue out of my throat so I can bucking breathe for a second. I'm not sure why I'm doing this, but it can't be worth it.
But then I look down at Lyra, and then I know why I'm doing it. Girl couldn't take a rejection to save her life. Always been the bucking big sister. Can't change that just because she suddenly wants to stick her slob down my neck.
She looks at me with that really goofy smile, and I give her this big grin and I'm kind of worried I'm overdoing it.
“I love you, Bon-Bon. No matter what.”
She never did manage to sense moods. I put my muzzle on her neck to try and hide my face for a bit while I try and think of something sappy.
“What’s that thing you always said to your friends, back in college? ‘Se philo’?”
She sticks her muzzle in my mane. I hope she doesn't lick it. Just because I'm a candymaker doesn't mean my hair tastes like candy.
“Kai eraoimin.”
I'm pretty sure that's Greek for 'I want you to stick something up my butt'. It doesn't take long to think of something good to say back.
“Alla eimi.”
I think that's 'Celestia help me'.
Then she looks real deep into my eyes. I'm pretty sure I've seen that look on some stallions.
Oh, Celestia, she wants to do it in the park?
She's all over me, and I really want to push her off, really want to get her off me and tell her that it's fine to be how she is but that doesn't mean we can do that.
But I don't want to hurt the poor filly.
So I lie back and I think of Trottingham.
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Oh my...
Been waiting for this.
Oh, wow.
To be completely honest, I think this should be the canon ending. It extends beyond the typical "I'm sorry, but we can be friends," or the "OH YES LET'S BE LOVERS FOREVER," and introduces some very interesting psychology to the characters. A less than emotionally fulfilling ending, but still so much more interesting.
But those are just my two cents.
Interesting, this. Taking a whole new perspective is a big jump, but a welcome one.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png
781779
I must have missed the comedy tag for one thing. XD I've read a lot of serious fics lately, forgive me a bit.
Considering both the purpose of the fic and the comedy tag, I'd say that it definitely shows how unhealthy and harmful this arrangement is. Perhaps this is a more personal thing then, but I DID feel the humor fell a little flat. Not that the Gay Pride Parade wasn't hilarious, oh it certainly was. But again, Pinkie Pie is more of a tool than a character in this fic; a great way to keep things moving but after a while her presence just feels forced.
But, then again, these are just some of my opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read it and give me a thoughtful response. I was afraid you'd be mad and hate me forever.
If you don't know what you're saying in another language... you're gonna have a bad time.
782420
You might enslave yourself if you say something wrong.
...And then Bon-bon slowly begins to fall in love, despite thinking she's only doing it for her friend.
782563Or trying to rationalize Pinkie Pie.
Yes, yes. It is amazing
. Well done
.
Thanx FF
This episode brought to you by 1 John 1:6: Ἐὰν εἴπωμεν ὅτι κοινωνίαν ἔχομεν μετ’ αὐτοῦ καὶ ἐν τῷ σκότει περιπατῶμεν, ψευδόμεθα καὶ οὐ ποιοῦμεν τὴν ἀληθείαν: If we should say that we have fellowship with him, and in yet in the darkness still walk, we lie, and tell not the truth.
782324
Not a problem. Mindless praise gets old after a while.
782527
i.imm.io/trrt.png
781996
Hah. I suppose I was a bit dismissive. I hope Psuedometha adds colour for you to that bland, goopy mulch of prose.
782517 Or experience the feels of a cactus in areas they should not be planted in.
I'm not a big fan of shipping, but this looks interesting...
Well written but not really one my favorites sorry to say.
heres the ending you wanted
and heres me trolling all over it 
i gotta say this is i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/293/715/e99.jpg
i did kinda want them to get together but your alternate ending didnt feel right for whatever reason but now, Now it Perfect
and funny 
... Yeah this... doesn't feel right. At all.
I mean really, the last chapter gave us a great alt ending, while the one before that was nice ending as well.
The fact that you made the last chapter not the two hooking up proper but Bon-Bon pretending to love Lyra when part or all of the entire point of the last chapter was an ending where there two do hook up...
I understand how some people might like it as it isn't just black and white and that its a lot more interesting then most... but I personally feel that having this as Bon-Bon's view point for the last chapter ruins it completely and utterly.
It'll be alright to have Bon-Bon's perceptive on something like this, but not the last chapter in this way. We already had two great endings, this wasn't needed at all and effects one of those great endings...
Edit:
So now I know that this is meant to show how unhealthy their relationship/situation is meant to be... and I admit that last chapter probably wasn't the best of the chapters... but it really gave no show about the theme and what we got here to me was completely out of left field.
What confuses me more is that the premise of the story - self confesed I might add - is rather sad, as well as the entire 'girl loving homophobic girl' thing... but there's no sad tag. Admittedly I haven't actually read the rest of the story just the last three chapters so I can't say for sure. But I feel that this story is sad overall.
784090
I'm not sure whether this is the time or the place, but I do have this urge to go 'umad'.
That being said, the point is that there is no way for this to end well, realistically.
Psuedometha is meant to be a complete deconstruction of 'and then they fucked'. That's its purpose. It is meant to take set expectations and crush them, and make the alternate ending possibly legitimate, and imbue it with more meaning than mere mush.
If you don't like it, you can stop at the allocatastrophe.
I gave every warning I could.
This is the best ending.
784129
I'm not angry, I'm frustrated.
There are much better ways to do things. Much, much better ways then this. This didn't just desconstruct of the 'and then they fucked'' thing, it ruins a good alt ending.
Good, not great ending. Which the first 'real' ending was.
In fact this seems to me just an incrediable lazy last minute thing were you say 'Oh BTW guz, no happy ending for u! TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL'.
Many people seem to like it and/or find it funny.
I just want to smash my head against a wall as to how jaw-dropping stupid the entire thing to do was.
Seriously, you didn't need an entire 'and then they fucked' like ending. A much better ending would of been Bon-Bon not sure if she liked Lyra the same way or if she liked mare's but willing to give it a go. But no, you have to do the extremes it seems. Can't choose the middle ground... and of course I can see why because 'there is no happy ending!' and what I suggested would most likely be the most realistic happy ending.
784166
Feel free, then, to write an ending tempered by your enduring centrism.
784282
Centrism huh? I wouldn't exactly say what I was saying is centrism. Just not taking it to the extreme's all the time.
Plus I don't write chapters and/or alt endings to people's stories. Not my story after all.
I was just making sure my two bits were heard, even though I pretty much expected to get ignored as many more people support what's happened then oppose it like I've done.
Still, could be something to consider, a balance between the two. A nice and rather realistic ending instead of them just being friends or practicly becoming instant lovers.
Oh, well played, sir. This is a genius reversal right here.
Bon Bon's narrative style is hilarious. I want to read more from her POV.
782988
Exactly, my good sir.
This was a little creepy for my taste but nonetheless it was engaging.
785388
Fair enough, though for pony fiction purposes it's a little distracting.
An>>784295
"A nice and rather realistic ending instead of them just being friends or practicly becoming instant lovers."
What could you do to make it more 'realistic'? As far as I can see there are only three possable endings to this story in which, we got two out of the three.
Embracing, acceptance or rejection.
Embracing being: "I wub u 2!"
Acceptance being: "Sorry, Lyra I don't have feeling for you"
Rejection being: "We cannot be friends anymore, Filly-fooler"
And what's up with the blue font? It's kind of hard to read.
Loved the story and the ending(s) Amit!
785455
So you completely and utterly discard the 'I'll give it a shot' scenario as completely unrealistic then?
Also, blue or yellow text is what I do online.
785466
Mh, didn't actually consider that one.
I wouldn't really call it unrealistic, I would say highly improbable. I would even argue that's the most unlikely one out of (now) four possible endings.
(Can't really back this up, it's fair to say)
But I would say most people wouldn't really go for 'I'll give it a shot' merely from the stigma alone.
785516
Perhaps, though then again neither of us have that much evidence for either side of the argument.
785529
Hehe, I guess we can agree to disagree?
And here I was putting on my 'internet is srs bsns' hat.
Friends?
785561
Sounds good to me!
I actually loved this story, didn't know what to expect... but the end made my heart ache
785579
Great! I'll break out the champagne!
Maybe I'm just the odd one out, but I think that this side of the ending is frigging hilarious. Sad, in a way, but hilarious.
I actually like this um... View of the alternate ending and I like the original ending.
The original ending is like "You're my best friend in the world and I will never hate you, even if you are something that I hate. Though I am not like you.", the alternate ending was like "OMFG I realise that I don't actually hate queers and that I've been repressing my rainbow colored side." *Mwa, mwa, mwa, slobber, schlick, schlick* and this chapter changes that to "You are my best friend and I will do anything for you, even something that I hate others for doing."
Yeah, the alternate ending is the sugary sweet happy ending, and I like happy endings, but it feels... fake. *shrug*
Oh, and the "So I lie back and I think of Trottingham." line made me laugh so bloody much.
Ciao.
This chapter is painful in the fact that it was unnecessary and I've been I that position. And I did EXACTLY this. UGH...
I'm gonna' go stare into a laser pen until I forget all of this.
785627 because you are Bon Bon.
Damnit. Awesome writing and props for use of greek and Smiling Insanity.
Yet I think you just killed the Lyra-Bon Ship for me. Oh well, I suppose I better get writing and spread the faith of the DocLyra (Docyra? Doyra? Whooves Lyra?) ship in my fic.
730028 it's quite simple really, it's a cheap and easy way to do foreshadowing. For most, anyway, and many actually find fourth wall breaks hilarious, depending on how they're handled. Matter of fact, the memoirs of a reality jumper does it pretty awesomely. Or Crimson Night. It just depends on the skill of the particular writer.
At least Bon Bon is doing for her friend. For a moment I thought Lyra would have to find a street walker and a mask.
Okay, this is incredibly minor, but still: Pseudometha, not psuedo. Psi, Epsilon, Upsilon, not the other way around.
729709
You would be surprised. People hate me or having a heart condition, and every time I question them, they say "I hate you because you're weak." So they have no real reason to hate me, they just do... They also hate my girlfriend for only having one hand... Douchebags.
I admit it, I laughed. Well done, every step of the way. A shame Bonbon never studied her ancient Greek. Who'd have thought it would actually come in handy?
Also, Pinkie Pie is best yenta.
I actually like this ending the best. It's unexpected; with shipping fics, you usually expect the generic "good" ending of "i love you; let's have sex" or the generic "bad" ending of "i don't love you; let's not." This one somehow managed to combine the two, whereas the other endings fit so neatly into the generic types.
I'm curious, what is your first language?
because your english is pretty tight, and the latin i can at least make sense of (which is the best i can do with any latin, so take from that what you will)
Very interesting... But you misspelled Bonbon. It's an actual French word, and has an actual correct spelling. That mistake always irritates me... But I've tolerated more important things for the sake of a good story, so I shall read nonetheless!
I don't know how to respond to this..
But it was well written, and a good laugh to say the least. Good job, sir, I hope to see more of similar quality!