Have you ever been subjected to the force that is the Royal Canterlot Voice? I wouldn't wish it upon anypony. Imagine standing in front of a tornado.
"WHEN I SAID, 'BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY', I MEANT SHORT OF SETTING OFF A BOMB!" Luna bellowed, her eyes aglow with rage. "BE FORTUNATE THAT I DO NOT BRAND YOU A TERRORIST!"
Vinyl cringed. "You should have been more specific?"
"YOU IDIOT!" She whirled around. "WHAT AM I SAYING? I'M THE IDIOT!"
"It was a tiny bomb."
"HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID? HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID? I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WOULD PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"
The princess was now slamming her head into the wall repeatedly.
"THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! HAVE YOU SEEN THE HEADLINES?"
That actually looked quite painful.
"ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SNEAK IN AND REMOVE THE EVIDENCE!"
"Sending...a message?"
"'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!' MESSAGE RECEIVED, VINYL SCRATCH. DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS? NOT ONLY FOR CANTERLOT, BUT ALSO FOR THE INNER CIRCLE!"
"Very bad?"
"HOW IN EQUESTRIA CAN WE EVEN FATHOM EXPOSING OUR TRUE NATURE WHEN WE HAVE HOTHEADS LIKE YOU PULLING THESE KINDS OF STUNTS?!"
I'd never seen Vinyl so meek.
"WOULD YOU CARE TO BLOW UP AN EMBASSY WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, VINYL SCRATCH? A SCHOOLHOUSE FULL OF FOALS? MAYBE THE LOCAL SUPERMARKET?" Luna pulled herself away from the wall, baring her fangs. "You are suspended of your duties as a cleaner until further notice."
Vinyl wilted. "Yes Princess."
It was hard to feel bad for Vinyl, seeing as Luna was right. This had turned into a grade-A disaster for public relations. But in the back of my head I was thinking of all the ways I could have prevented this. But in reality, what could I have done? Could I have really stopped her? Would it have made a difference if I had come or not? I had known Vinyl to be a bit impulsive, but this was taking the proverbial cake. Perhaps things would have been even worse if I hadn't been there to keep her in check.
Why was Vinyl acting like this? Why was she resorting to such drastic measures just to make a point? Vinyl was many things, but she wasn't dumb. She certainly knew how to act. Her attack on Equestria Daily was a calculated move of some sort.
It's no wonder we have enemies.
After being roughly escorted out of the castle, I wheeled on Vinyl.
"Why did you do it, Vinyl?" I whispered.
"It's them or us, Octavia!" Vinyl growled. "I've done dealing with these jerks. Maybe Princess Luna thinks we can work things out, but you know how things are."
"No, I don't," I snapped. "You've made things worse, not better! We were making breakthroughs! Princess Luna said..."
"You're not stupid. Don't start acting now. Don't tell me you would be so naive as to even think for one second that things would change."
"I would! This is Equestria!"
"Sunshine and rainbows, isn't it? Ponies have a hard time accepting change. We can barely kiss in public. I don't think we could even marry. Us! Two mares! You think that Equestria's just going to accept us just like that?"
"Yes! Princess Celestia, she can explain everything! She'll tell them we won't hurt a fly!"
She scowled. "Everypony may love Princess Celestia, but that doesn't mean they'll like it. And what then?"
That shut me up good. What then?
Vinyl was lying, straight through her fangs. She was emotionally invested in this. She had something against that Silver Streak mare, against the Silver Horsehoes. I just had to find out what.
Or maybe I should just cut things off completely.
Perhaps the most jarring thing was how Vinyl could change her attitude with a flip of a switch. One second she could be DJ-Pon3, partying and dancing and banging her head to the beat of the music. Then she could be a vampire, predatory and monstrous. At the drop of a coin she could then perhaps be something more terrifying. This was another side that knew no bounds, had no restraint, would risk whatever it took if it meant keeping our dirty little secrets by any means necessary. Ruthless and violent. Almost psychotic.
Which was why after another sleepless night, I was perturbed to find Vinyl up bright and early, sashaying around and singing as she...made me breakfast?
"Morning Octy!" She flipped off her headphones.
The way she said it was too cheerful. Too innocent. It made me shiver.
"G-Good morning, Vinyl."
It looked like the room had been torn apart.
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, just some...spring cleaning." She waved a hoof dismissively.
"It's November," I deadpanned.
"Well, better late than never! Princess Luna said no more explosives so I'm...cleaning them out."
I jumped. "You keep explosives in our kitchen pantry?!"
"Just a few. I have grenades stashed all over Canterlot, in case of grenade emergencies," Vinyl explained as-a-matter-of-factly.
"What is that?!" I shrieked, pointing at the object stashed inside our closet.
"That's not a party cannon, if that's what you're asking."
"I can literally see it."
"No you can't!" Vinyl jumped in my way, knocking over a few things on the shelf.
"Is that a stick of dynamite?"
...
"What dynamite?"
"Did you hear the explosion last night?" Beauty Brass hollered. "It was so loud I could hear it across the city! Awesome!"
Harpo shook his head. "Brass, that's not funny. Somepony could have gotten hurt."
"Ahhh, forget you! No pony got hurt. Life needs a few explosions now and then to spice things up! KABOOM!"
"They say it was a gas leak," Harp added.
"In a newspaper agency? Not likely," Frederic scoffed. "And what about you, Octavia?"
I squeaked. "Uhm?"
"You were the closest. Did you see anything?"
"Well yes, it was...very loud," I stammered. "It woke me up. Quite terrifying."
Liar.
It was a white lie. Harmless, completely insignificant in the scope of things.
Then again I suppose lies got me to where I am.
I hurled myself onto my bed with a sigh. Life was complicated. Life needed a pause button. That feeling of laziness overwhelmed me. It was getting late.
I yawned.
Sleep now. Think later.
My eyelids drooped.
...
"Hello?"
My voice echoed endlessly in the pitch-black darkness. I could barely see my own hooves in front of my face. I stopped myself from panicking.
This is clearly a very vivid dream, Octavia. You're simply lucid.
I heard a growl.
And it seems that I'm not alone either! How wonderful.
Once I had established that fact I contented myself with screaming my head off for a bit. This felt real, too real. I was actually there, standing, able to move and feel the invisible ground beneath me in that void. I didn't like this dream. I much preferred the one where Vinyl was wearing socks and lavishing me with kisses.
The creature slunk closer and closer as I scrambled back, my heart racing, my stomach lurching as I realized the inevitable result of what was to come. It narrowed its yellow eyes, sniffing at me. I could feel its hot breath against my neck. I shut my eyes, shrinking myself down as much as I could.
It spoke.
"Hi."
The dark abyss illuminated itself with the flip of a switch. I now currently stood in some sort of white void, standing on an invisible plane, face to face with the wolf inside of me. I blinked. Hi? This was the menacing voice twisting my thoughts? I shook my head. My dreams were getting stranger and stranger. Probably a good thing I'd stopped drinking.
Good to know that my head is full of empty space.
The lycan Octavia wagged her tail, panting eagerly.
"Hi?" I said uneasily.
"My name is Octavia," she panted. "I have just met you and I love you."