//------------------------------// // Act II: The Appeal of Groupees // Story: The Literary Appeal // by HiddenBrony //------------------------------// About halfway through Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle had sat down next to the fountain with the intent of drying her hooves. As she sat focusing on the wind spell, a stray thought went through her head as her fetlocks puffed out and dried. She had absolutely no idea where Cheerilee’s mother lived. Straining her face, Twilight grunted as she rocked back onto her hooves. Sure, she could extrapolate where she had seen Cheerilee come from with the general fatigue she had when she came through the library’s front door. She only needed to gauge Cheerilee’s movements with the amount of sweat and she’d get a good idea for how far she walked. Sadly, she was interrupted from thinking about Cheerilee’s sweaty body by somepony else. “Twilight!” a familiar voice called. Turning, she smiled as her friend Rarity trotted up towards her. “What a pleasant surprise to see you out and about tonight.” “Hello Rarity,” Twilight greeted. Immediately Twilight brought up Ponyville’s landscape in her head, and realized that Rarity was walking from Carousel Boutique, rather than to. However, she didn’t get to dwell on it. Rarity’s eyes sharpened as she looked her friend up and down without hesitation. “Um, is there something wrong?” Rarity looked into Twilight’s eyes, forgetting herself. Laughing deflectively, Rarity waved a hoof in front of her. “Oh ho ho, no, Twilight..” she trailed, meeting Twilight’s deadpan gaze. “Well, to be frank, yes,” she relented. “You look an absolute fright. You have black running down your face and your fetlocks are, for lack of a better phrase, like Big Macintosh’s after winter.” Twilight gave her hooves another cursory glance. The drying spell had left them completely frayed out in every direction, but she suddenly found herself reluctant to say that she didn’t like the look. “What did you get on you, Twilight? Have... have you been Smoozing? Dear, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you that drugs are not the way to go.” Blinking, Twilight stared at Rarity before she realized she had completely forgotten to actually cast the spell to remove the ink Cheerilee had hugged into her. Casting her spell, water spouted out of the fountain and washed across her face, pulling the ink right off her and sending it straight at the ground. Usually, she would just place it back in one of her inkwells, but she hadn’t time to keep a floating orb of darkness around her until she happened upon one. “It’s ink,” Twilight explained. However, she had no time to speak further before she was suddenly assaulted by a brush and comb in the magically adept care of Rarity, her hooves subjected to much prodding and brushing. Twilight struggled against her friend but to no avail. “Rarity!” “Oh just hold still Twilight, this will only take a second. A lady should not be caught out at night looking like she came out of a tumble dryer.” Rarity paused what she was doing a moment as she looked Twilight in the eye. “Dear, what are you doing at this hour, anyway?” “I could ask the same thing! But I was looking for Cheerilee’s mother,” Twilight stated flatly, offering her hoof to Rarity to do as she pleased with instead of struggling against it. Rarity hesitantly took Twilight’s hoof in hers, brushing it gently. “What is it that you want to do with that harlot?” she asked. “Twilight, you aren’t going to–” “No!” Twilight rolled her eyes, “Why does everypony keep saying that? And what are you doing out so late? Shouldn’t you be doing that new order you got from Canterlot? And where did you get these combs? You don’t even have any saddlebags.” Rarity smiled, letting Twilight’s hoof go and giving the others a quick nod of satisfaction. “I am working on the order. Or rather, I was. You see, I was working in my shop earlier when you wouldn’t believe who walked in and invited me to dinner at the Blue Mare.” Twilight was busy inspecting her hooves to answer right away. Until she had been brushed, she had no idea that her fetlocks had grown so long. They easily reached past her hooves and to the ground. The fact they had been so tangled up around her hooves disturbed her. Looking back up at Rarity, Twilight realized she was literally waiting for her to guess a pony. “Oh, uh, Fancy Pants?” Twilight responded, watching Rarity deposit the brush and comb into the nearest open window with a dumbfounded stare. “It was!” Rarity gushed. “How did you know?” Twilight looked around, tapping her hoof to her mouth as she started to remember the stallion who had shown up earlier. “He stopped by earlier with a message for me, but I was busy and...” Twilight trailed, her mind suddenly latching on to what she had asked him earlier. “The Blue Mare!” Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Sweety, I don’t think I can take you to my business date.” “No, I mean, I asked him to tell him to meet Cheerilee’s mother at The Blue Mare!” Twilight facehoofed. “Cheerilee and I were going to meet her, but–” Rarity stopped her short. “You and Cheerilee were going to meet with her mother? Why would...” she trailed off, her eyes bulging slightly. “Twilight! Have you been dating Cheerilee?” Twilight nodded slowly. “For a couple months? We started at the end of Summer after we got back from my brother’s wedding.” Rarity looked away, her hoof on her mouth. Twilight suddenly tensed up, realizing her serious faux pas. “Oh no! I thought everypony knew by now! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I forgot I hadn’t!” “Mm?” Rarity mumbled, her eyes refocusing on Twilight. “Oh, it’s not a problem, dear. I’m happy for you!” However, both ponies quickly looked toward the courthouse, taking a look at the new clock that adorned the top story. “Oh dear, I’m going to be late.” Twilight nodded. “I guess we’re both going to the Blue Mare then. Hopefully, Cheerilee’s mother is still there with Fancy Pants, but I don’t see why she’d stick around.” Twilight turned to look at Rarity, who had a strange look on her face. “Sorry Rarity, but I’m gonna have to tag along.” Rarity looked back at Twilight’s fetlocks, but she hid her disapproval as best she could. “Yes, I suppose you must. Let’s go then, you can tell me all about you and Cheerilee along the way.” -o-0-o- “Scarlet, you really have not changed!” Fancy Pants chuckled, taking a very small sip of wine as he laughed with the maroon earth pony. “I suppose if motherhood couldn’t, neither could age, yes? How are your daughters, by the way?” He asked. He decided not to include the fact that, while he had delivered Twilight’s news with the utmost haste, he did not impart that he had seen Scarlet’s daughter covered in ink on the floor of Twilight Sparkle’s library. Scarlet Letter smiled, taking a much longer drink from her wine than her compatriot. “Mm, talking about a woman’s age, are we Fancy? For shame.” Winking, she joined in on his laughter. “My daughters are doing very well, as you know. That mare Cheerilee’s with, Twilight Sparkle, she’s quite the unicorn.” “Mm, yes, She’s a very unique mare. I saw her at a garden party with Rarity– she’s a seamstress in the area. Unparalleled work, I must say.” Fancy Pants looked Scarlet in the eye, a knowing smile on his face. “You do know Rarity, don’t you Scarlet?” She smiled, nodding. “Well of course,” Scarlet motioned over her dress, which was a lovely ensemble. It was a very calming blue, giving the mare a very hot and cold appearance. However, a red letter A adorned her flank on the dress, so she would never be without her cutie mark. “I commissioned this from her, years ago when my little Cherry was in her glam rock phase.” “How terrible,” Fancy said, “the glam rock, of course. Not the dress. You still look stunning.” “You flatterer, you.” Scarlet Letter waved her hoof. “Don’t think I’m not on to you, Fancy. I know a stallion like you would know the craftspony behind my dress.” Scarlet raised her head slightly, looking off into the distance. “I didn’t save your business because of my looks– Although I certainly could have.” Fancy Pants leaned back in his chair, his face calm. “Yes, I can never quite thank you enough for what you’ve done for me, Scarlet.” Scarlet smiled, her eyes still not trained on Fancy. “Well, you repaid me more than enough with the dresses you supplied my girls. The Red Letter really shined with your designs all over my floor,” she laughed aloud, Fancy Pants blushing at the mention. “Oh, how is my old stomping grounds these days, Fancy? I have nothing but residuals to go by, but my-my they aren’t what they used to be...” she trailed slightly as her head moved away from the conversation, Fancy Pants finally taking a glance behind him. Rarity and Twilight Sparkle had arrived. “Fancy Pants?” Rarity greeted, trying to make sense of Scarlet Letter and Fancy Pants talking with each other. “I didn’t realize this was going to be a group meeting.” “Neither did I, but we must be open to whatever fate has for us!” Fancy mused, his hoof outstretched towards Scarlet. “This here is Scarlet Letter. She’s the founder of The Red Letter bro—.” “I’m quite aware of who she is!” Rarity said, her voice rising, “I just didn’t know you knew her as a business partner.” Fancy Pants smiled disarmingly. “Never judge a book by its cover, Rarity.” Twilight coughed under her breath, breaking the conversation. Rarity, Fancy Pants, and Scarlet Letter all turned to look at her. “Um, sorry, but,” she looked around the restaurant, “could we sit down maybe? I don’t mean to force ourselves on your conversation, but I’d like to get out of the aisle.” “Of course, where are my manners.” Fancy Pants quickly moved to another pillow towards the wall, giving Twilight and Rarity room to sit down. “I didn’t expect to see you come, Twilight. Is Cheerilee quite alright?” “Yes!” Twilight answered, perking up. Scarlet raised an eyebrow. “She’s in the bath right now washing off, but I thought I’d come and see if her mother was still here. And... she is!” Twilight chuckled nervously. Any words she might have rehearsed in her head quickly fled the scene as Cheerilee’s mother gave her a once over. Then a twice over. Then a thrice over. And stared much too long at her flank. “Capital.” Fancy smiled, looking over to Scarlet. “You can imagine my surprise when Scarlet was the pony who was waiting for me.” “Yes, Fancy here had no idea my little Cherry grew up to be such a beautiful mare,” Scarlet teased. "I'm sorry if I kept my knowledge of your schoolmare to myself, Twilight," Fancy began, "But it's not unheard of that another mare might be named Cheerilee. Last I heard, Scarlet, that daughter was in Canterlot." Twilight didn't really think about the fact that Fancy had given the air of someone who had simply walked into a roomful of strangers. However, she didn't really have time to think as the large stallion had decided to keep talking. "And I'm sure that under all that nasty black ink is a stunning beauty." “Hooves off, Fancy." Scarlet winked. "She’s taken.” “I would never,” Fancy retorted without missing a beat, taking Scarlet’s hoof and kissing it gently, “Not when I have such company.” Scarlet giggled like a schoolfilly, prompting Rarity and Twilight to exchange uncomfortable glances. Twilight leaned over to her friend, her voice a low whisper. “I thought Cheerilee’s mom only liked mares.” Rarity coughed, bringing a napkin up to her mouth. “Twilight, the first thing you should know about Fancy Pants is that the stallion knows how to sell everything. His company, his contacts, and when the situation calls for it, himself. Nothing is impossible with his charisma.” Putting the napkin down, Rarity gave the rest of the table a smile. “Excuse me,” the waiter asked. “Can I get you anything?” Twilight looked in horror as the waiter had snuck behind them during their exchange, likely hearing every word. But really compacted her terror was that the same green unicorn from her last visit was staring at her with the most bemused smile. “Wine?” Twilight gave Rarity a look and quickly readjusted herself on her pillow. “N-no wine for me, thanks! Do you have any cactus water?” The waiter nodded, completely unable to hide his growing smirk as he wrote down Twilight’s drink. Rarity didn’t even pause before simply asking for whatever it was Fancy had ordered to drink. “Would you like to order now, or would you like your new guests to have some time?” the waiter asked. “I’m fine with ordering now,” Twilight offered. “I’m surprised you haven’t eaten yet. You’ve had to be here for hours now.” “I wasn’t expecting to meet with an old friend,” Fancy Pants smiled, before looking over to the waiter. “Your spaghetti, please,” Fancy ordered. He glanced over to Scarlet, his horn glowing and picking up a fork and placing it in front of him. “I’ve always had a weakness for simple things.” “I’ll take the spaghetti as well,” Rarity chimed in. Twilight and Scarlet also ordered the spaghetti, the former giving both white-coated unicorns a long look. “Simplicity can often be the best designs. Form and function are very important.” “Quite right,” Fancy Pants agreed. “No doubt a lesson learned from Twilight’s dress?” If Rarity could have blushed from her cheeks to her tail, she would have. “Riii-hi-hiiight,” she laughed, losing eye contact with Fancy Pants as she locked eyes with Scarlet across the table. “It’s important to leave on the dress, otherwise we’d all just be leaving them on our floor.” Scarlet flashed her own menacingly sweet smile. “Mm, yes, you are right Miss Rarity. I’m sure you’ve never had the opportunity to leave a dress on the floor.” Rarity’s cheeks puffed out. “We both know that isn’t quite true.” Twilight raised an eyebrow, looking for some intervention from Fancy Pants. The look on the stallion’s face as he pleasantly sipped his wine spoke volumes. “Oh yes, I seem to recall something now,” Scarlet raised a hoof to her chin innocently. Rarity’s eyes bulged. “Mmyes, it was so long ago, I had nearly forgotten. She really does like unicorns, doesn’t she?” Rarity put her hoof on the table, standing up. “I say! I have had too much to drink, I need to use the little fillies room.” Looking over to Fancy Pants, she gave a strained smile. “Excuse me. I’ll only be a minute.” Trotting off, Twilight Sparkle watched her go, mouth agape. “But we haven’t even got our drinks yet–” Twilight started, but Rarity had already made her escape. “What just...” she breathed. Scarlet laughed. “Some mares are just like that, Twilight.” Twilight blinked, matching gazes with Scarlet. “Rarity isn’t. Not usually.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she huffed as she put her forehooves on the table. Fancy Pants finally put his drink down, taking some time to adjust his monocle. “It’s sadly to be expected. Rarity is not used to the nature of Canterlot noblespeak. It’s a sad sort of compliments-laced-with-insults and even less thinly veiled ones. Even my current mare-at-home has difficulty keeping her tongue from making a disgrace of her otherwise truly regal class. As such, I try not to make many appearances that are not my own events.” Levitating his monocle, he brought up a small lens cleaner, wiping the glass clean. “I should hope you refrain from flustering my dinner guest any more than you have, Scarlet.” With a wry smile, Scarlet Letter agreed. “A little fun from the old days, Fancy. I swear I’ll be on my best behavior from now on. Not the first time I promised it for this night. Whoopsie.” With a wink, Scarlet turned back to Twilight. “Speaking of promises, I was looking quite forward to our dinner tonight, even if my daughter is conspicuously missing. Are you here for just me?” “Yes!” Twilight sighed, finally to be on track for once in the evening. “I wanted to talk to you alone, without Cheerilee. I feel it would just complicate things if she was here right now.” Fancy Pants really couldn’t be sure if he should be around for this situation, but seeing how the mares were looking quite intensely at each other, he deemed it far more dignified to hold his silence. Furthermore, he had inadvertently trapped himself between them, so holding his tongue was the best course of action. “Would it, now?” Scarlet hummed, her eyes once again trailing Twilight’s body. This time, Twilight was fully aware of it, a slightly sickly feeling stemming from her chest. Unlike every other pony there, Twilight already was undressed, so it didn’t leave much for Scarlet to imagine. And that made it worse. “Tell me, Twilight, is she being good to you?” “Cheerilee? Of course! She’s wonderful!” Twilight beamed. “We stay up late and discuss E.E. Cloppings and J.K. Chestnutmare! And don’t get me started on the ramifications of The Last Human. The idea that mythological creatures might not have the same capacity for emotions like we ponies do—” The glazed over look Scarlet Letter was giving her was enough for Twilight to stop in mid-sentence. Fancy Pants ahemed softly, coming to her rescue. “Yes, the idea that creatures like humans aren’t capable of love or regret unless acted by an outside force is intellectually striking,” he said, winking at Scarlet. Scarlet gave the two a bemused stare, which was cut short by the appearance of the green unicorn waiter. “I have your dinners ready, everypony,” he announced, juggling the four plates of spaghetti and drinks for the whole party in his magical grasp. Placing the food around the table evenly, he made triple sure that Twilight Sparkle was not one of the ponies getting the wine. “Will your last guest be returning?” “Ah, yes,” Fancy Pants spoke up. “She just went to the restroom to freshen up. She’ll be back before long. You’re free to leave her plate, my good man.” “Well then, if you need anything else: dessert, refills” a pregnant pause as he looked to Twilight, “more wine– feel free to ask.” With a smile, he returned to the shadows of the restaurant, where he met with his other servers with an obvious chuckle. Fancy Pants looked on, mildly disgruntled. “I say, I believe that stallion was insinuating something insidious about your character, Miss Sparkle.” Fancy was overwhelmed with the interest of writing a negative comment card but thought better of it. Perhaps it was nothing. ...And perhaps he didn’t reach his status in Canterlot without being able to read basic body cues and obvious word stresses, but the Miss did not seem too flustered. “It’s fine, he’s just joking around. I’d look for a little fun too if I served other ponies all day.” Fancy Pants nodded sagely. “Well put, my dear. Well put indeed.” Scarlet Letter busied herself with attempting to spin a fork in a hoof, a task not easy to do when one lacked a horn. Still, between her two hooves, she had a fairly good grasp on the idea of eating spaghetti. Twilight gave her a sidelong glance, her head turning slightly. She didn’t want to get into the exact reasons why she was here in front of Fancy Pants, so small talk would have to do. “So, how do you and Fancy Pants know each other?” Scarlet put her fork down on the side of her plate, regarding the question with some thought. “We were students at Canterlot University at the same time, dear. Good friends, all of us. What a good group we had, Fancy.” The monocled stallion nodded. “Yes, I would be disingenuous if I said I didn’t miss the old days. The late study nights, the camaraderie. You don’t get the same feeling when you get as old as we are.” Scarlet laughed, “Maybe you and your high society don’t, Fancy.” “Exceptions always exist to prove the rule, and I must say you have grown to be one brilliant exception, Scarlet.” “Oh ho, enough with the charm, Fancy!” Scarlet swooned, “Or don’t. Mm, I’ll always be happy to have you be my exception, Fancy.” Scarlet laughed with him, although Twilight was left coughing in her little corner. Scarlet put her hoof on her mouth and reached over, patting Twilight’s hoof with her own. “My apologies Sparkle, you’ll forgive me if I get a little caught up in the past.” Twilight was finding it much more difficult to drum up the vindictive rage she had built up for Cheerilee’s mother the more she talked to her, but she kept her marefriend’s warning in mind. This was just part of her plan to get her to bed, and she wasn’t about to allow it. “It’s alright,” Twilight said carefully, trying to come off as friendly and not at all interested. “But please, call me Twilight.” A little first name familiarity, but on her terms. Everything was according to plan. Scarlet smiled, taking her fork in hoof and beginning to spin it once more. “Oh, I would, but you remind me too much of another Twilight I used to know to call you by anything else,” she said. Twilight Sparkle pulled her mouth to one side, trying to maneuver around this. “She wasn’t a Sparkle in the sky, like you.” Suddenly, Twilight felt a twang in her chest that made her sick. Not the compliment, but the familiarity. She heard that before. “She had a —” Twilight felt her mouth moving without her will, “Voice like Velvet.” Scarlet stopped spinning her fork. “Yes... how did you know?” Twilight swallowed hard. “It’s just... something my dad says to my mom...” Fancy Pants nearly dropped his monocle, deftly catching it mid-flight with his magic. Scarlet, on the other hoof, was already bending her fork with her hoof. “Night Light,” she seethed with barely contained rage. “That rapstallion! That was my line.” Fancy Pants took a moment to rearrange his napkin so that any flying sauce that would fly through the air might have a chance of not ruining his suit. “That horny little colt used my words to steal her heart—” Twilight raised her hooves, shaking her head violently. “Bu-but my Mother is straight, Scarlet!” Cheerilee’s words echoed in her mind, which she was doing her best to ignore. Scarlet breathed deeply, putting a hoof to her chest. Exhaling, she pushed her hoof away as she did so. Fancy Pants nodded in approval of the motion, Twilight for her part was utterly lost. Retaking her fork in her hoof, Scarlet put the spaghetti wrapped around it up to her mouth. “Oh Twilight,” she said in a tone that made her brain break. “So is spaghetti, until it gets hot.” A bloody, violent conflict erupted within Twilight's brain as soon as those words left the older mare's lips. To say Twilight's natural curiosity was piqued would be a supermassive understatement. On one hoof, Twilight’s dream of studying was born from her mother only talking about her academic achievements when the subject of her college days came up. On the other hoof, if her mother, Twilight Velvet, was an old acquaintance of Cheerilee's mother, then there was likely a very, very good reason that she never went into any personal details. Of course, there was the problem that Scarlet was still talking. “Mm, but that’s neither here nor there. I suppose Cheerilee got it all from me, I’m sad to say. My looks, my charm, my absolute adoration for unicorns and their... special talents. Cherry Blossom, on the other hoof– completely different pony.” Inwardly, Twilight’s mind was screaming to vacate the premises, but a more primal instinct was to sit and watch. Fancy Pants, for his turn, seemed much more interested in his meal than actively participating in the mental deconstruction of Princess Celestia’s prized pupil. Or, he was just so practiced in allowing Scarlet her due. “I still remember her first unicorn! A groupie for her band in high school, terrible as it was. The fashion was awful, but... Oh my. That’s right, she’s in fashion now, isn’t she?” Scarlet asked, looking meaningfully at the empty seat next to Twilight. Luckily for Twilight Sparkle, she already had the equal to the blueprints of the establishment to get to the little filly’s room– previous experience and conveniently placed signs. Trying not to expedite the scene at a full gallop, Twilight removed herself from the table with a, “Oh my I think I've had too much to drink please excuse me!” As Scarlet and Fancy Pants sat in the sudden silence, the former couldn’t help but note, “You know, I don’t think either of them drank anything before coming here.” Fancy adjusted his napkin, giving his old friend a suitable wink. “With you, Scarlet, any attempt at drinking fluid is a risk. And I mean that in the best possible way.” -o-0-o- Twilight Sparkle entered the restroom by very nearly tearing the door off its hinges. Rarity’s eyebrows raised in alarm as Twilight locked eyes with her. Stepping with purpose toward her, Twilight breathed evenly. “Cheerilee.” Rarity coughed nervously, her gaze fleeing towards everywhere that wasn’t purple. “Oh, has she showed up? Or—” “Cheerilee.” Rarity smiled, her chest puffed out in one last attempt to deter her friend from going any further. Twilight took another step closer, mouthing the name of her marefriend at her. Deflating, Rarity nodded, defeated. “Oh, Fluffnutters.”