Twilight stared at her library, her hooves numbly kneading at the floor. She remembered she could remember feeling them when she started here, but by now everything had faded into a collection of unfeeling. “If I don’t feel, then I don’t have to acknowledge that I screwed everything up and destroyed any chance at happiness forever.”
“You did mention that fifteen minutes ago.” Spike reminded as he dusted off a nearby bookshelf. “And fifteen minutes before that. And ten before that. And five before that. It’s a good mantra, just…” He picked up a book, staring at its cover a moment before placing Mantra Madness back on the shelf, “I thought you’d say it less by now.”
“Spike, you don’t know what I did! I ruined everything!” Twilight gaped, putting a melodramatic hoof over her eyes. Spike frowned, tapping his foot.
“You don’t have the mane to pull something like that off!” Spike challenged, placing The Chic and the Curious on the shelf. “Besides, who cares that you screwed up? You got me, and I can help with anything!” Clenching his claw, Spike drew it to his chest and pounded it. “Number one assistant, after all.”
Twilight looked over to him briefly. “There are some things an adult does and has that… I’m not having this conversation.” The idea of just blurting out about her smut came to mind, but the idea of baby dragon soon overtook any attempt at coming clean.
“Big deal! So Cheerilee is gone forever, what’s so bad about that? She’s a nice teacher and all but think of how she’d always be grading you on, like, everything.” Spike put a claw to his lips, tapping it gently. “Like math! Or… something equally as bad, like algebra.”
Twilight glared at Spike and slammed her hooves down. “Algebra is math!” Groaning, Twilight slumped over to her side, splaying out her limbs as her hooves played with the light shining through a nearby window. “She’s not gonna be gone forever. She was so mature and adult about what happened and I was so… not ready.” She could practically hear Spike rolling his eyes. “Maybe I don’t deserve her? I’m so inexperienced with all of this and she's so not…. I mean, she’s been with Rar–” Twilight tongue caught in her throat.
Spike dropped the books on the floor and spun around. Twilight froze, hoping he couldn't figure out what she was going to say by... staying stock still. Dragons can't parse through verbal dialogue because their cognitive functions are based on movement. “Rarity!?" Or maybe that was Manticores. "Cheerilee… dated Rarity!?” Actually she just made it up to make herself feel better for saying literally the worst possible thing. Again.
Spike ran over to Twilight and put his claws on her face, bringing Twilight’s head up to his. “Do you think she’d go back to Rarity?” He quickly moved his head left to right, unceremoniously doing the same to Twilight's head as he did so. It would have been a safe bet to believe that Twilight hoped her neck would snap right there and end her endless misery. But that would be pretty dark, so don't make that bet.
“What?” Twilight blinked hard, trying unsuccessfully to wallow in her aforementioned misery. Ponies can't ever seem to get any good wallowing in angst these days.
Spike unceremoniously dropped her head on the hard floor. Bringing a claw up to his mouth, Spike nibbled at their edge. “Of course she wouldn’t. Rarity wants manly men." He puffed out his chest like a manly man. "Real stallions of power and… and… Oh what am I saying? Of course she’d go back to Rarity! She’s a bombshell!” Spike clenched his claws together, turning back to Twilight. His whole being deflated. “And Rarity wouldn’t say no! She’d probably just humor her and then slowly fall in love because she’s always just thinking of others!” Eyes bulging, Spike put his claws on the side of his head as he fell to his knees. “I have to stop this!”
Twilight slowly got back to her hooves, giving her dragon assistant a sidelong glance. “Spike…” However, Spike merely ignored her and whatever else she was saying as he scrambled back to his feet.
“I’ve gotta fix this! I have to save Rarity!”
“Save Rarity from what!?” Twilight shouted after him, but he already bolted out the door. Twilight made to go after him, but her hooves stayed at the door. She looked at the clocktower not too far off, noting the time. It wasn’t much longer until Pinkie’s party, and she did promise to go. Looking back, she barely caught sight of Spike as he turned a corner behind some houses, and sighed through her nose. “I’m sure tonight’s going to be just perfect.”
-----
A jolly ring from the bell above Sugar Cube Corner’s entrance cued Pinkie Pie to return to the front end of the bakery, stopping short when she saw a leggy unicorn with a snow-white dress over her back. For a moment, Pinkie’s face was blank but soon melted to a pure smile as she approached the counter. “Howdy howdy, Miss De-Lis!” she called, waving her hoof.
Fleur’s eyebrows shot up, her hoof lifted back. “I’m sorry, have we… somehow met before?” she asked. Pinkie Pie nodded appreciatively, gesturing to the blue cannon that sat idly in the corner of the room.
“Sure have! You were at that party with my friend Rarity where she made that charmingly rustic dress for Twilight!” As she stressed the words, Pinkie pulled a face she imagined a stallion like Fancy Pants to make. “We turned that party into a par-tay!” Amusingly blind to how well it worked the first time in Canterlot, the party in the garden went over much better than the Grand Galloping Gala, so she seemed to chalk the whole thing up as a success.
Fleur, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes at the memory. “Oh, yes. You were one of those ponies. You certainly brought a different element to an otherwise common affair." Fleurallowed herself a glance around the interior, half set-up with balloons and streamers. "Now I remember where I heard the name Ponyville before.” Sucking at her teeth, Fleur looked over the rest of the building, specifically the side without any of the party favors. She strode toward the counter, eyeing the confections with wide eyes. “I’m really quite famished, so if you could be ever so kind I would like to order a Blue Rose Petal on gluten-free pita, and oh, and hold the crust. I am trying to keep up my figure.” That, or she was trying to prevent flashbacks of the time she seemingly failed to eat a sandwich three times in a row and pass it off as a food allergy in order to save face in front of the closest things to literal goddesses. But it could very well be that first thing she said.
Fleur grimaced as she looked around the store, as if further failing to find something. “Ah, and where are your prices? Something as rural as this town must be less expensive as Canterlot faire…”
Pinkie stared at her for long while, her eyebrows completely askew. “Wha?”
Fleur looked back at Pinkie, noting the look of utter confusion. Had she been even a little aware of the party pony’s reputation, she might have taken a picture for the Guinness book of Equestrian Records as the only non-Godlike being to ever have left Pinkie Pie at a loss. “Your prices, where are they?”
“Well…” Pinkie trailed off, looking at all her baked goods. She sniffed loudly. “Our prices are usually a bit-per-item, but I haven’t even heard of free tons of glue with any order before.”
“Free tons of glue– what?” Fleur echoed. The words rang in her head for a moment before her eyes opened wide. “You don’t have anything gluten-free?”
Pinkie vigorously shook her head. “I’m a baker, I deal in treats and sweets and all sorts of yummy things to eat. Glue is a sometimes snack for pre-schoolers only!” A brief pause followed her words before she added, “Or only when no pony is looking.” Fleur stared blankly at the pony before, considering whether or not the country air was causing hallucinations. “It was only like, twice. Not even that big of a deal.” Pinkie looked back up at Fleur and made eye contact. Smiling, Pinkie pointed at her dress that was draped over the unicorn’s back, “That’s a nice dress! You must have been by Rarity’s place!”
“Rarity?” Fleur echoed, her eyebrows furrowing. “Oh, you mean the dressmaker. Yes, I purchased it from her moments ago. It was made using measurements taken from yours truly, so I felt it was owed to me that she sell this to me first.”
Pinkie Pie raised an eyebrow, “That dress was made by Rarity though. Have you been to Ponyville before? But I’ve never seen you around here.” Pinkie Pie put a hoof to her mouth in contemplation. “I couldn’t be slipping, could I?” The ramifications of such a question were pointless. There were no ramifications. Don't look for them. Honest.
“No, no, I’ve never been to such a rural area like this. My measurements are part of Fancy Pants' personal files. Your dressmaker was handed them because of an order for Princess Celestia, and she wanted it to be a ‘surprise.’” Fleur air quoted the last word with a roll of her eyes. "I am uniquely suited to this as I and the Princess have the exact same body shape, albeit..." she gestured towards herself. Tall she was, but a dwarf star next to the Sun. "Shorter."
"That's super cool, and totally a solid gig. I mean, I have the same measurements of tons of models, but nothing like Celestia," Pinkie said, gesturing towards herself. Fleur could only raise a very, very high eyebrow, and that's all that needs to be said about that eyebrow. "So I guess Rarity's just going to have to make another dress and give it over to the Princess herself then, huh?"
“As if she could just waltz up to the Princess with a gift as if she was royalty herself. She isn’t like Fancy Pants, although…” Looking back at her dress, she did fail to suppress a smile. “She does good work. Better than I was expecting.”
“You don’t really keep up with current events, do you?” Pinkie Pie asked, unable to keep her mouth shut. A queer furrow appeared on her eyebrow, and she gripped the counter with the ends of her hooves. “Rarity can totally see the Princess whenever she wants to!”
Fleur’s eyebrows raised up, but they nestled back down just as quickly. That was very nice of them. “Can she now?”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “Yep, and so can I. I even hoof-deliver a batch of my best baked goods straight to her castle every month!” Celestia’s sweet tooth was rather well-documented, so Fleur had little time to disbelieve a pony who worked in what looked like a giant cupcake. “We totally were there when it rained chocolate milk, too.”
The unicorn visibly shuddered. That was the day she looked… normal. “Is that so? Perhaps my purchasing of this dress is a step in the right direction for me.... and her, naturally. Anything I wear is sure to be a big hit in Canterlot.”
Pinkie cocked her head to one side. “But isn’t it supposed to be a special dress for Princess Celestia?”
Fleur smiled. “The Princess is already on top of the world. It wouldn’t hurt for some other ponies to share the spotlight, so to speak. If I am popular in this dress, then surely a close personal friend of Princess Celestia is sure to become one as well.” Pinkie pursed her lips together, taking it all in.
"I guess that does make sense," she admitted. "She's been looking to make it in Canterlot for some time now."
Fleur smiled. "Has she? Well, then this will be a step in the right direction for her."
Pinkie nodded emphatically. "Oh yes, I think so too. I guess I should make that sandwich for you now." Pinkie hopped back over the counter, which she had somehow ended up in front of. When is a mystery, but that's where she was now. Or then, seeing as she was behind the counter again. "I'll go make that Glue Pose Metal you wanted!" To be honest, she wasn't even trying with that one.
------
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to wallow in anymore.” Twilight stepped outside, squinting her eyes against the late afternoon sun. Spike was already long gone by the time she picked herself up and got to the door. It would make sense that he would run straight to the Boutique, but Rarity would have likely closed down for the day, especially when a Pinkie Party was just around the bend. Twilight groaned, her head dipped low as she returned to her treehouse. “Perhaps I shouldn’t go at all,” she heard herself say, plopping down on a previously discarded pillow. The kind that was meant for screaming into. “Good going, Twilight. Got the mare of your dreams, scare her away with your smut. Celestia would be so disappointed with me right now.” Laying her jaw flat on the ground, she huffed. “Well, your reaction to smut. Your smut.”
Twilight rolled on her side, inhaling deep on the vague hope some mutant mold might have taken plant in her treehouse that would end her life within moments. It certainly didn't take root, as mold is a fungus, and fungus' don't have roots. Of course, they're not actually a plant either, really. Truly, a foul organism.
Alas, only a fresh lemon scent greeted her, Spike’s impeccable cleaning talents stealing away her only chance at mercy. Twilight shifted, her limbs kicking out at various rhythms until she ended up on her back. For the most part, this was by far the least comfortable position she could think of, and her embarrassment relished in it and bought a timeshare to go with it. The only way it would have gotten worse was if somepony just came barging in and—
“Twilight? You takin’ restin’ lessons from Winona?” Applejack’s incredulous voice burst from the doorway. Twilight attempted to scramble on to her hooves, but only managed to slump to her side, her hooves kicking madly into the air as she screamed, ironically, in such a pitch that only the farm pony’s dog could hear.
“Applejack! What are you– Knock please!” she cried, finally finding purchase under her hooves. Standing at the door, Applejack gave it a sidelong glance and rapped it three times sarcastically, her eyes training back to Twilight with a furrowed brow.
“I woulda done so beforehoof, but, ah…” she trailed off, swallowing. Twilight felt her blood run cold, anticipating Applejack’s answer. “Ya left it open, sugar.” Trotting in, Applejack’s hind left hoof kicked out and closed the door behind her. “How long have ya been like that for?”
Twilight mouthed Applejack’s words as the color drained from her face. “I don’t… I can’t…” Twilight’s footing, which seemed so sublime a moment earlier, suddenly caught a horrid case of the ‘I Simply Cannots’ and promptly returned her posterior to the floor at high enough speeds that a palpable plop reverberated off the walls to be enjoyed by all those present, which thanks to Applejack’s excellent door-closing skills, was only shared by the two close friends.
How many ponies were witness to Twilight lying on her back with her tail splayed out to the open door, however, was a number that would forever remain unknown.
“You feeling okay, Twilight?” Applejack went over to Twilight, putting a hoof on her friend’s chin and raising it. “You look more out of it than a candle in a tornado.” Twilight huffed silently, but Applejack brought herself closer to her and sat down next to her. “Boy trouble, then.” Twilight’s head shot up quickly, her mouth agape, but the solid pony just grinned it away. “I know, I know. Just needed you to stop treating your floor like the Pony Lisa. Now come on, Twi, let me be an ear to your woes. How're things with you and Cheerilee?”
Twilight opened her mouth, her words struggling just short of her mouth. “I don’t even know where to begin, though.”
Applejack nudged her friend. “Just start at the beginning, then. I came over to meet up before Pinkie’s party, I got time.” She rubbed the back of her neck, her eyes training towards the ceiling, “And to ask for some help dealin’ with… well, nevermind about that. Come on, now, tell me what’s wrong.”
Twilight sighed. “Well, I met Scarlet Letter…” Applejack winced at the name but didn’t say a word. Shifting her weight, Applejack made herself comfortable. She knew the beginning of a long story when she heard it.
So I guess this is a thing again.
Gravekeeper forgive me, I'll see this through.
It's always fun when I get an update email for a long dead fic
6575954
This was less than a minute after posting.
What ARE you.
6575962
I would have actually replied before your post but I had to log in first.
I clicked the email right when it popped up.
6575965
See this is why I leave a comment before publishing. Two years and I knew I should have done so again to avoid that very scenario.
Although to be honest I tried to do that, but FimFic updates the past two years confused the hell out of me and I sort of had to load the page like three times before I finally found the comment section which... I dunno, didn't want to load for me.
So anyway I have like a chapter and a half sort of floating in the aether so at least there will be another update by the end of December. There's even an outline and everything. So much has changed.
6575953
I don't believe you. Post another chapter to prove you aren't lying! Then I'll start re-reading! You can't toy with my heart like this, I'm on to you!
Nice to see an update!
weird i didin't get a message this updated
What is pretty interesting is that I still remember what this story is about and what happened. That either means that the story is good enough for that, or I have a very good memory.
And my memory is sht. So there you go
But yay for the update! Good to see this resurrected
Is you a zombie.
There is a deep irony in this. Well played.
I actually have to reread this again. I remember liking it but it just been so LOOOONNNGGGG! Please don't do that again...
6576266 Well it's ruined now, so go ahead.
... Applejack and Rainbow Dash are voiced by the same VA. Was that a meta joke that I just saw?
Is Pinkie being factitious? She's not much of a baker if she doesn't know what gluten is.
well! Good thing I've slacked off on removing old un-updated fics from my favorites, usually 1 year and not marked hiatus is enough for me to remove them.
YayY
YAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! ONE OF MY FAVORITE STORIES IS BACK!! YES! YES! YES!
It's alive!
I really like how you've written fleur, most people try to write her like cadance without wings and just make her generically french, here she's stuck up but not a complete arse hole, most authors can't do that
cheeky bastard...
Huh, its alive.
Dude, there's like two people on this site that know what the duck thing is about :P
Finally back on track! Woot woot woot!!!!!
Do tell. Will any of the story or information go to Canterlot? Because I'd love to send Steven Magnet and Nick the Knife there. Were just waiting for you to update or finish.
I wanted them to make an entrance in the big city and talk to Celly.
Also this brings back memories. Me happy. *sniff sniff*
Dragon
I find your sudden revival... unnerving (is that the word?)
6579094 three ^_^
Lul, I don't remember a goddamn thing about this story.
Read the new chapter I did, know the rest I must reread. To long was it from the last update.
Really happy to see this being worked on again. Also really enjoyed this chapter, specially that bit with AJ and Twilight.
Holy shit I had almost forgotten this story existed. Good to see it back.
Re-read it all! I needed to any way...
I'm really happy for this update, are you going to be doing more soon?
Keep up the amazing work!
Commence read.
Spike, to late...
Glad to see an update, been quite some time.
Only remembered a few parts.
6575953 6579094 6581102
…Hey, is that a demonic duck of some sort?
I laughed long and hearty at a number of things, but none more so than the knife. Well, that might not be true: the whole "date" was a disaster in the best way possible.
You have a chance to eclipse it, though! The delicious trainwreck currently brewing is of the highest calibre. I think bringing Princess Luna in would help things. (She totally didn't tell me to say that.)
Special mention for what is likely the most vain and unlikable rendition of Fleur I can recall seeing. It's refreshing in a way. Add a thoroughly flappable Uncle Fancy Pants and Scarlet Letter, and you've got a real whiz-bang crew!
...Hey. Wait. If Fancy Pants is "the exception" to Whorester Prynne's Mare Mountain... who is Cheerilee's father? This just gets better and better.
For shame Spike, what kind of number one assistant are you preventing Twilight from escaping her embarrassment.
6717034 Granted.
hoof
[ponies don't have hands XD.]
_________________________
Cap.
_________________
Apple Bloom
____________________
Ya
[Y'all is a second person plural pronoun.]
_______________________
6684062
Cheerilee's father is Celestia. After a shared bottle of 150 proof, Minotaur Whiskey, and a night inside Scarlet Letter [both the building in front of her balcony, and the pony herself. After all she does have fond memories of the place, and talks well of the place.].
But yeah, this beautiful trainwreck of a party is simply delicious in potential horrors. Hopefully the fic updates quicker than two years XD this time around ^_^.
6575970 so when will the next chapter come out?
6756930
soon(tm)
6788314
I like this reaction.
Nice! As always your dialogue is incredible. It's well-written and easy to read, but you manage to avoid making the characters sound off. Quite impressive. So glad to see you're back, and I can't wait for more, though I must!
Please keep writing, I"ll keep reading! Even if it takes me a while...
i38.photobucket.com/albums/e132/whiterabbit75/mlfw3685-129929276568-applesaccesso.jpg.png
6579094
Count me as one of them. Also, whenever I see your avatar, I hear that transition music in my head.
6967881
>Kinda difficult to hit a fan with an act
Never said you could. If you'll look, my comment didn't even reference the original post. I only corrected Vates Despero on the part of speech under which the words fell. Also, nice necro; that post's two-and-a-half years old.
6757089
Soon, said he, 31 weeks ago.
good story,
i kind of want to see that twilight's mom is a writer of erotic books and novels, but twilight does not knew that, cause i think that would be funny.
Needs a Cancelled tag.
It is a sad thing when a good story goes unfinished. But then I knew about that before I started reading. Still hope one day...
I really love your interpretation of Cheerilee. Dunno why. She was spunky happy go free in her youth (though partially born from hardships), but now she's more mellow as she has a more responsibilities in life. Especially that latter bit is relatable - I see that a lot around me.
7503119 give me a minute man
7442746 give me 32 weeks and i'll muster a reply to a comment
7484612
Amusingly, Twilight's mom never made it into the outline, nor her dad. Shining, on the other hand... he's on there to show up. Mostly due to a rule I have that if a character is referenced by name, they show up.
7569410
Writing is a safe haven for me, and over the past few years I never felt particularly safe in my own home(s). After the initial high of each new change I fell right back into scratching at every last bit to survive to the next month. I've never felt particularly good about what happened to the fandom, either, and don't count myself a brony anymore. Actually, despite the name, I've never considered myself much a brony to begin with. How deep I got is a really long story, but all of this was... more of an occupational hazard. Don't get me wrong, I loved the show, but there was something lost in the specialness after Lauren left the show and Twilight got her wings. I felt she always had more room to grow, and this fic was actually started SO LONG AGO. Like, Discord was stoned, dude.
8025452 You didn't take 1 minute, you've taken over 727,000 minutes so far.
8025528 I appreciate the math