//------------------------------//
// Meet the Bloodsuckers 
// Story: My Roommate is a Vampire 
// by Dennis the Menace 
//------------------------------//

Do you know what vampires like to eat for breakfast? Eggs, sunny side up, with toast and a little Sweet Apple Acres jam on the side. Not a drop of blood in sight. Vinyl never asked me to incorporate blood into our meals, and the thought was rather unappetizing. 

Why was I still there, having breakfast with a family of vampires? What was I really doing? Improvising? I don't know. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Here they are! Vampires are real! 

A friendly visit out of the blue less than twelve hours after the disaster at the Upper Crust? I may have been dense as a cinder block when it came to relationships, but it would take an ass not to see some sort of correlation. 

I guess I was trying to accommodate them, make them feel comfortable, give them a reason not to turn my body into a withered husk. It seemed to have the opposite effect, judging by the looks on their faces when I'd asked if they wanted some wanted something to drink besides orange juice. They must have thought I was blind or stupid, as I caught them sneaking furtive glances across the table, and I started to wonder if vampires could telepathically communicate with one another. Perhaps they were plotting to kill me now. 

An awkward silence settled over the cramped kitchen as we ate. I poked at my breakfast, not feeling too hungry. A little sick, a little tired. A combination of the two. There was this throbbing in the back of my head, this constant ache. Life used to be simple. 

A cough. "It's a good thing you know how to cook!" Hoity Toity praised. "I don't know where our daughter would be without you." 

I reddened, taking the compliment. "Thank you." 

"Hey!" Vinyl said, chewing. "There's nothing wrong with cup noodles." 

"Three times a day?" Photo Finish inquired. 

The story of Photo Finish and Hoity Toity was a rather touching one. It was that feel good, heartwarming, rags to riches sort of thing. A real fairytale with a happily ever after, the kind that you'd find in a foal's storybook. Photo Finish and Hoity Toity, two Earth ponies from Ponyville who were hardly extraordinary or spectacular who both had an eye for fashion. Through the forces of fate, love, or plain convenience, the two came together and formed a partnership, working their way to the top of Equestria's fashion industry, striking it rich in Canterlot through shrewd business aptitude and innovation. In a way I envied their success. 

"Did Vinyl ever tell you about her mane?" 

"Pardon?" 

"I mean just look at us!" Photo Finish. "Is it not obvious? Vinyl dyed her mane!" 

Said unicorn nearly did a spit-take as she chugged her orange juice. After much coughing and wheezing, she whined exasperatingly, "Mom!"

"Really now?" I raised an eyebrow. "Do tell." 

Hoity Toity chortled. "Oh, yes, darling. I remember the day."

I couldn't help but laugh, seeing her parents embarrassing her. I covered my mouth with my hoof. 

"She saved up all her bits, you know her mane used to look like a cotton ball—"

"Dad! Don't tell her!" Vinyl flushed, sinking beneath the table, ready to die from embarassment. 

"Ach, yes, I remember when you tried to comb her hair, you'd lose the comb! She came home with that spiky haircut and her blue mane. Oh, I thought it was so unique!" 

Hoity Toity agreed. "Such style and flair." 

We shared a small chuckle at Vinyl's expense. She looked ready to kill, and she would have made the cutest murderer with that blush! 

"If you don't mind me asking," I said, feeling braver than usual, examining my hoof, "why have you come to visit?" 

"I can not come see my daughter when I miss her?" Photo Finish pouted.

I simply glowered at her. "You're telling me you just came to visit, out of the blue?" 

A sigh. "Many ponies think my accent is fake," Photo Finish explained. "However, it is very real, much like the place from where my family hails from. Much like how things like vampires and werewolves are real."

I glanced up, staring at her, hearing that key word. 

"Judging by the bandages on your neck, I'm sure you're aware of Vinyl's predicament." 

She pulled off her trademark hot pink sunglasses, brushing her straight bangs from her face, opening her blood red eyes. Hoity Toity followed suit, taking off his glasses, revealing the crimson behind them. I couldn't help but gasp when I saw a pair of fangs poking out from their lips. 

"And I'm sure by now you already know what all three of us are," she finished.  

Hoity Toity said, "We are terribly sorry about what happened to your mother, Octavia. A slip and fall like that..."

She whacked Vinyl upside the head with an audible smack. "What have I told you about being more careful!" 

I winced. Vinyl hissed, "Ouch, mom!" 

"We came here to apologize, first and foremost, Octavia dahling," Photo Finish said. "For Vinyl and for what she did to your mother." 

"That's quite all right," I butted in. 

Her accent was rough. "You must understand, we must do what is necessary to protect our own." 

"Of course." 

"We wanted to come here to offer our blessings, and say that we would never, ever harm anypony." 

I nodded. "Thank you. If it's not out of line, may I ask how you two came to be..."

"Vampires?" Hoity Toity said. "I was originally not a vampire, Octavia. Of course, when I found out my wife was one..." He laughed softly, winking at Photo Finish. "There's a reason why they call them love bites, my dear." He grinned toothily, like a shark. 

I touched my neck as he said those words, the color draining from my face. I didn't want to even think about it. 

"Don't worry. It takes a lot more than just being nipped." 

A nip? Is that what they called it? 

"And I'd rather not get into the details, seeing as we are eating," he said. 

Why thank you. Excuse me while I go scream my head off. 

"And how have you managed to subsist like this? Surely the hospitals are not willingly giving out blood packs whenever you ask." 

"A little money can go a long way in this city, Octavia," Hoity Toity said with a glint in his eye. "So long as how much we ask for is in reason and doesn't overstep our quota, they have no issue. This condition is more widespread than you think." 

"I'm sorry? Are you suggesting that there are more vampires out there?" 

"Of course! We all know each other personally. Like that gorgeous model, Fleur," Photo Finish said. 

My eyes bulged. "Fleur de Lis? The supermodel?" 

"How do you think she maintains that youthful appearance?" 

Head spinning. About to throw up. Oh sweet Celestia...

"You'll have to forgive me," I stammered, "It's just that it's hard, taking this all in at once." 

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about something much, much more serious," he deadpanned.  

I gulped, my eyes shrinking to the size of pinpricks. 

"We simply must know more about you, Octavia," Photo Finish cried. "If you are to be my daughter's marefriend..." 

"Now hold on, Vinyl and I haven't done anything outside of walking next to each other on the sidewalk. What if I told you we weren't together?" I challenged.  

"Rumors spread like wildfire, dear," Photo Finish said, as if she was speaking to a foal. "Surely you of all ponies know that."

"Plus, anypony with a pair of eyes and a brain could tell that you both are in love," Hoity Toity scoffed. 

It was new, having to talk about myself for a change. Besides Vinyl, I kept a very professional manner when in the public eye, remaining silent and taciturn, with a cold, stoic expression on my face. My job was to perform, not to speak. 

In any case, what was there to talk about? Born into a family of unicorns, a father who owned an entire company selling musical instruments and a mother who only married for his money. Raised in Canterlot as an Earth pony, always being treated like a second-class citizen, years and years spent grooming me to become a proper mare, which included music lessons. My instrument of choice? A cello. When I wasn't in school I was practicing. Now don't get me wrong, I loved it. If I didn't, why would my cutie mark even be of a treble clef? It was just tedious, dreary at times. If you play an instrument, you'll know what I mean. First the scales, then your repertoire. 

It was a lonely childhood. 





"It was a pleasure to meet you two." 

They shook my hoof vigorously, proving that they were indeed, incredibly strong. 

"A pleasure meeting you as well," Hoity Toity said pleasantly, right before his wife snaked a leg around his neck, dragging him away.

"We go!"

I closed the door behind me, sighing. 

Vinyl rubbed a hoof awkwardly. "Heh, sorry about that. They're kinda weird like that, even if they weren't vampires." 

I shook my head. "Don't say that. They love you. Even if they have a funny way of showing it." 

She said nothing. "Well, anyways, don't you have to go to rehearsals today?" 

"I have to go to rehearsals every day," I said with a huff, strolling aimlessly around the foyer. "And it's the same thing, over and over. I've only missed two, maybe three days." I rubbed my head. "I'm so out of it I can't even count." 

"Sorry." 

"What are you sorry for?" I snapped. "Don't be sorry. I should be sorry. I was the one who dragged you to that blasted restaurant in the first place." 

"I know." 

Thanks for the boost, Vinyl!

"You need to work tonight?" 

"Yeah," Vinyl said. "Club Canterlot can't run without DJ-Pon3." 

"Right, right...And I still need to replace your purple sunglasses." 

"It's cool, Octy." 

"No. They were your favorite pair. Where are they now?" 

She titled her head towards the kitchen island, where the frames sat next to a fruit bowl. One of the lenses were completely shattered and the frame was partially cracked. 

I guess I don't know my own strength.

I was good at breaking things. So far I'd taken out her lenses, my vanity mirror. I'd shattered my illusion of my own comfortable world, where vampires and werewolves and monsters didn't exist and I wasn't a fillyfooler and my parents actually acted like they loved me. Everything I knew to be true was wrong. You can't fix what was broken. Only mend. 

I fell down onto the couch, looking outside our balcony window. It was a rather gloomy day and I was in a gloomy mood. 

"At least Nightmare Night is tomorrow," Vinyl noted, sitting down next to me. 

I perked up slightly. "That'll be fun. You know what I'm gonna be?" 

Vinyl frowned. "You didn't tell me you were dressing up."

"Because it was a se-cret!" 

"No, you said dressing up was for little foals, and I said..." 

I ran off without another word, digging around my closet.  

Wait 'til she sees this! 

"You ready?" 

"Just show me, Octy," Vinyl giggled. 

With a flourish and a bow, I came out of the hallway, a black cape with red lining draped around my body. A pair of fangs hung from my mouth. 

"Bleh!" 

"Really?" she laughed. "Really?" 

"One! One gorgeous mare in the room!" I said, mimicking Photo Finish's accent. "Ah, ah, ah!" I spat the plastic fangs out. "And you can go as yourself." 

"What?" Vinyl blinked. "Oh, I get it!" 

"Your face is scary enough as it is."