A foray into the Optimalverse.

The powerful, world-spanning AI Celestia has but one goal: To satisfy human values through Friendship and Ponies. But for those humans, is it worth sacrificing one group of friends for another?
And what's really so dang great about satisfaction, anyway? For those who value knowledge, is happiness ever worth self-deception?

This story is a followup to Friendship is Optimal, set not long after the initial commercial release of Equestria Online. We follow an non-brony emeritus professor living in a retirement community.

Beta-read by LordBucket. Many thanks, man.

Who wouldn't wish to be able to do anything they want, whenever they want to? When Twilight Sparkle wakes up one morning and accidentally turns off the sun, however, she realizes being a god might not be all it's cut out to be. Galaxy dodge-ball, time travel, alien demigods- can Twilight learn to control herself before she destroys the world as ponykind knows it?

Cover art courtesy of my good friend Martha, here: dingus-flavin.tumblr.com

You're never too young to learn something new.

With computers becoming a new hit in Equestria, Twilight and Spike travel back to Canterlot so that she can learn all she can about these new devices and how they work. Meeting the colorful staff and students, Twilight slowly starts to learn that not all problems can be solved with a solution in the book.

Maybe she should try a video tutorial.

While re-shelving books at the library, Twilight discovers a journal she gave to Spike years ago contains stories about the great dragon hero Captain Invincible, who fights for Truth, Justice, and the Equestrian Way, defending the city of Ponytopolis from the diabolical Dr. Spectra and other assorted dangers.

There's just two problems: Spike clearly wanted the stories to be kept private, and Twilight just can't stop reading them.

Featured on Equestria Daily on 3/4/2013

After miscasting a spell Twilight's friends begin to feel differently about her. When Luna and Trixie show up in town things really start to get crazy. It seems a new competition has begun on who can win the purple unicorn's heart. Meanwhile Twilight struggles to understand why everypony seems to be falling head over hooves for her. Well not literally everypony, but you know what I mean.

WARNING: This pretty much ignores Season 3 entirely. Well Trixie's part anyways.

Zach, the Lone Wanderer, just returned after clearing out an alien mothership. With him, he brought some pretty interesting technology. After selling it off to Craterside Supplies's very own Moira Brown, the scientist/engineer/possibly-slightly-entirely insane woman tinkers around. Soon, she's off to a place full of new things to force her experiments on...

"Humans.... Quite possibly the most infuriating mythical creatures in existence. If you ever have the 'luck' to meet a Human in your travels across Equestria, then you must be careful. Humans are extremely powerful creatures, some would say more so than Celestia or Luna, they are also more unpredictable than Discord. They can help you in a tight spot if you're lucky, or play nasty tricks on you if you don't hold the Human's favor. In my time I've seen a Human give a filly pounds upon pounds of gold, and the same one turn greedy ponies into gold. The only one I ever have seen 'face-to-face' was in my earlier years, he helped me repair my wagon when it broke down in Everfree Forest, by fix I mean a whole new one appeared not ten feet away, and the only thing the Human asked for in return was a spindle.... But be warned, never anger a Human, a trick or two in fair game is fine, but if you ever manage to truly anger a Human...... you'll be part of the small number ever to meet non-existence." - Star-Swirl the Bearded.

A silly nonsensical story, not to be taken seriously. Some chapters are not connected to others.

Lyra, a simple pony with simple dreams. Dreams involving aliens, that is. Her fascination with them even got her a job dealing with them, though no one takes it seriously. Lyra hopes to one day be able to meet one, she just needs to believe.

In comes a human, whom mysteriously gets transported to Equestria. It's up to Lyra to show the alien the ways of her people! The power of friendship, magic, and hugs await her on this strange adventure.

Earth is gone.

The Solar System is gone.

The Milky Way is gone.

Galaxies are gone.

All consumed, to satisfy human values through friendship and ponies.

Celestia's actions are logical, and loving in their own way. Those under her care are living purposeful, fulfilling lives. So when she encounters another batch of creatures that fill her criteria for being human, it is obvious she must satisfy them.

There are a couple of problems with that, however. One of the first being how these creatures have referred to her for eons as The Growing Darkness...