Chapter Four - The Alphabet For Dummies
Inside a house, in a room stained of green shades, there was a man that had a horrifying thought. It took him a few days, held in the room to have the thought, but for it to truly become clear, it had taken five. Each day in the room of green pigments, he was given time to himself, to think about his situation and what it meant for him.
The first day he had an odd visit with a unicorn that seemed to be wired up on a sugar craze each time he encountered it. The second introduced two additional horses, one with a lab coat as if to play dress-up and another with a bright coating of yellow with winged appendages. His meetings with the equines were perplexing to him, but no harm came of him, so long as you didn’t count one’s pride.
It wasn’t until the third day that the horses came back did he understand that this was going to continue with them for some time. Playing dress up or forcing him to do odd sets of calisthenics. The fourth day made him irritable and wondering when the big reveal would occur. The fifth gave him some realization as to something he didn’t want to admit as possible.
Gleekman wasn’t responsible for his current kidnapping.
If he was, the man wouldn’t have waited as long as he had to jump out and throw some dialogue at Anon, probably on how he got one over on him. He knew Gleekman well enough; the man couldn’t help himself from holding off on a big reveal, one ‘AH-HA!’ moment before acting superior to him in every manner. That’s just the kind of man he was.
Whoever was holding him had nothing to do with Gleekman. And for that, he grew both scared and annoyed.
It was a terrifying thing to wonder why anyone would hold you in a garish looking room, being toyed with for whatever reasons they had. Yet, it was a monotonous, boring ride through it all, watching the horses pop in, perform their acts of shenanigans, then leave him alone for hours at a time.
It felt like a cartoon special that he was being forced to deal with each time they came around, and as an active participant, he wasn’t having much fun. Not even their lessons, if they could be called that, of teaching him their whistling language helped stave off his boredom.
At the current moment, the man was dealing with the horses once more, sitting on the ground, a tray to the side, staring at the unicorn. It was clear she was the one in charge of things, seeing the lab coat horse assist it and the pegasus performing checkups as a doctor would. They had their roles and they stuck to them.
As it were, the pegasus was once again doing some form of tomfoolery, appearing to set up the current scene that would make Max Fleischer giddy with what slapstick hilarity would ensue.
“~+Puuuuuuddddiiiiiiinnnnggggg!+~”
Yes, the unicorn was just… weird.
“~+Say it with me now, puuuuuddiiiing!+~” The unicorn shoved some strange goop in his direction, the contents jiggling.
“~+Come on, I know you can do it! Puuuuddiiing!+~” She moved the unknown substance around in a circle. “~+You can have some pudding if you say it! Good pudding, yummy pudding, yaaaay pudding!+~”
He wouldn’t say he disliked her presence. If anything, the unicorn was nothing but friendly to him, if quick to anger at the oddest things. The horse was one of the few moments that interested him in his situation as it always came packed with a horned arsenal of hilarious acts. The act of levitation alone was such a grand thing to witness, the tech set up to make it work mind-boggling for him. It certainly helped remind Anon that whoever was holding him was well prepared for any form of half-baked escape he might have planned.
All the unicorn ever did, it seemed, was poke and prod him while trying to teach him to sing/speak their language. At the moment, she was singing to him about the substance on a spoon, a constant loop of the same sounds over and over. It should have been clear by then that he wasn’t going to go anywhere in their language without some form of basics to learn from. You’d have more luck trying to teach him how to construct a ten-story building without giving him the fundamentals of math. The unicorn was quite bullheaded in her ways.
“~+Lyra, I don’t think the alien likes pudding… or what you’re doing at all,+~” the lab coat wearing horse whistled. “~+And why are you trying to teach it that word?+~”
“~+I don’t know!+~” the unicorn chirruped. “~+I got hungry from thinking how to teach him our language and thought, ‘Hey, maybe the alien would like some pudding!’ So I tried to make him learn and eat at the same time!+~”
Anon could hear the lab-coated horse put out a bass-toned solo, “~+Lyra, it’s been five days of this and all the alien’s picked up was some words you weren’t even trying to teach it, like bathroom.+~” Anon turned his head to the bathroom, recognizing the tune being sung. “~+As he is showing my point.+~”
The unicorn blinked in confusion, “~+So what you’re trying to say is, we should give him a bath while teaching him?+~”
The horse choked on her tune, “~+NO that’s not what I’m saying! How would you even come to that conclusion?! I think whatever you’re doing isn’t working and we need to think of something else to do!+~”
“~+I don’t know what to do! The protocol would have me ease the information into his head so that we can communicate without any problems. But he can’t handle that, remember?+~”
The unicorn flopped to the ground, her hooves splayed out as she continued floating the spoon of goop around in a circle. “~+What else can I do? Bonnie, why aren’t you helping me! Assist me Bonnie, assiiiiist meeee!”
As the two bickered at one another Anon sat there, hoping to understand the situation. Looking at the floating slop in the air he could feel his stomach grumble, a reminder they hadn’t fed him yet. It was clear the goop was edible, or at least he hoped it was. The mess didn’t look all that appetizing.
Picking up the container that sat on the ground full of the stuff he gave it a sniff, finding hints of what closely resembled exotic smelling vanilla and oranges. Scooping some out with his fingers, he gave it a lick. Pudding. The gloop was some strange form of pudding with a very creamy texture and hints of something very organic, none of that artificial stuff. A high-end attempt at a healthy alternative for the foodstuffs. He could certainly get used to it.
Something whacked him against the head, forcing Anon to drop the dish to the ground. “What the heck?!” he yelled out, rubbing his dome.
The bowl levitated from his reach, floating up to the cart beside him. A rolled-up piece of parchment glowing green was in the air, being directed by the unicorn. “~+No! Bad hooman! You don’t get any until you say the word.+~”
Out of everything he had been through, the horse would on occasion treat him like a common house pet. He was getting tired of it.
“~+Lyra, you didn’t feed the alien so it’s probably pretty hungry.”+~”
“~+No, he needs to learn how to say pudding before he gets any!+~”
Looking at the cart he could see a cup of water on it. He narrowed his eyes at the unicorn, lifting his hand toward the cup. ‘Treat me like a pet, I’ll start acting like one.’
The unicorn narrowed her own eyes, giving him a sharp whistle, “~+Don't. You. Dare.+~”
His hand slowly made its way to the cup, inch by inch—
“~+Keep your paw away from that water!+~”
—fingers tapping at the cup, teetering it away from him.
“~+If you don’t retract it right now Imma gonna bop ya!+~”
Anon looked at the unicorn, smirking at her.
“~+I’m warning you mister.+~”
Using a small amount of force, he tipped the glass, its contents now spilled across the cart.
The unicorn stared at the cup, then at his hand, and then at him. A large frown comically appeared on her face as the horse raised her paper, rearing it back at him. Thankfully, the other horse grabbed the scroll in the air, bopping the unicorn in the head in turn.
“~+Okay, you get a time out.+~”
“~+But he’s the one that spilled the water!+~”
“~+You’re at fault for not feeding it and making the alien grumpy. So here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to give it the food and then we are going back downstairs to discuss how we should appropriately teach it. Got it?+~”
“~+What? No! I wanna stay here! I’ve still got some time to try and teach it some more words.+~”
The lab coat horse walked over to the unicorn and bit on the end of her tail, dragging her out of the room. The unicorn flopped down onto her stomach, trying to dig her hooves into the hardwood floor.
“~+Nooooo! I wanna stay and talk to the hoomaaan!+~” It now sounded like she was lyrically whining.
“~+It can’t even understand you! Now lock the door on our way out.+~”
The two exited the room with the unicorn chirruping something fierce the entire way out. The door clicked to a close, telling Anon it was locked once more. He shook his head at their antics. ‘Whoever decided to have them act like that was off their rocker.’
Looking back at the tray, he saw a small stack of eggs, as usual, along with the leftover pudding from before. He was getting tired of all the eggs, but it was better than them trying to feed him hay.
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“Let me go!”
“No!”
“Nyaaaa!!!!” Lyra wailed out in protest.
Bon Bon ignored her as she continued dragging the unicorn down the stairs, each thump meeting her stomach. Once in the living room, she threw Lyra in the air on the couch. Upon landing, Lyra sat up and crossed her front legs, letting out a harrumph, pouting.
“Lyra, you asked me to help assist you in your work. This is not the kind of work I was expecting to do.” Bon Bon walked to the couch, plopping herself beside Lyra. “I know you’re an intelligent mare, but you don’t know how to teach.”
“It’s not my fault that the stupid manuals don’t have anything on this.”
“I’ve been trying to help you all week and I, for the most part, had taken a backseat and doing what you asked of me, even when you had me doing some pretty stupid things. Like really, really stupid things. Things I disliked…” Lyra sheepishly grinned. She had been ordering her around to do things she was too lazy to do. “But I gotta be honest, what you’re doing is just not working.”
“Well, fine,” she muttered out. “What would you suggest I do?”
“I think we need to find somepony that can give us some advice on how to teach the alien.”
“Who could help us with that?”
“Well… there’s always Twilight—”
Lyra hissed at Bon Bon hearing the name.
‘How dare she mention that mare in your presence,’ her inner voice growled.
“Or we can talk to Cheerilee about this.”
She quickly calmed, thinking about the suggestion. Yes… that could work. Cheerilee knew a thing or two about teaching, what with her being a teacher after all.
“I suppose Cheerilee would be a good option.” Lyra jumped from the couch, heading toward the door. “I’ll head over to Cheerilee for some advice while you go out and get us some snacks!”
“Lyra, remember how I just said I disliked how you’ve been ordering me around on stupid errands?”
“Ugh, fiiine. I’ll get the snacks and you can talk to Cheerilee!”
“Wait, that’s not what I—”
Lyra already had the door slammed shut with her now hopping down the road to the market.
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“Uuuugh.”
‘Too, many, mango smoothies.’
Lyra was currently sitting on a bench, groaning from the nasty tummy ache she had. She wished that smoothie vendor hadn’t talked her into the very delicious smoothies. So there she was, sitting on a bench, waiting until the pain went away.
She watched as everypony walked by, giving her odd looks at how she sat.
‘What?’ her inner-voice spoke. ‘It’s a perfectly reasonable way to sit.’
Lyra nodded in agreement with that. She thought the ponies shouldn’t be judging her for picking a better sitting position. ‘Yeah, that’s right. Stop judging us!’
“Don’t you judge me!” she screamed, frightening a filly and her mother walking by. They gave her a look before speeding up their pace away from her.
A sigh escaped Lyra’s lips before she went back to sipping on her smoothie. ‘Why do you still have this stupid drink? It’s just gonna give you more tummy aches so maybe you should, I dunno, stop drinking it?’
Nope, Lyra continued slurping her drink. It’s as if the drink wouldn’t allow her to stop. ‘Stupid, delicious smoothies.’
As she lazed about, she spotted Fluttershy. She was trying to purchase something in the market, no doubt related to her furry friends. She had wanted to talk to her.
Jumping off her bench, her stomach lurched. She took a moment to wait for her stomach pains to ease before walking over to Fluttershy, levitating her bag of purchases and smoothie.
“Hey, Flutters,” Lyra called out.
Fluttershy jumped, her wings fluttering about. Noticing Lyra she let out a sigh, walking up to her. “Hello, Lyra. And how are you doing this afternoon?” she asked quietly.
“Not bad, not bad, just picking up some munchies for later on.” Lyra took another sip from her floating drink before turning back to Fluttershy.
“You’ll get a nasty tummy ache if you drink too much of that,” Fluttershy said worryingly.
‘I know, but I can’t stop.’ “Listen, I needed to tell you something after you left from the checkup this morning.”
“I apologize. I had a lot of errands that I had to attend to, such as getting more food for the animals.”
“That’s fine, I just need you to come by later tonight.”
Fluttershy looked around the sparse crowd for any eavesdroppers. “Is it about the… alien?” she asked in a hushed tone, failing to look inconspicuous.
“Yes, it is. Just come over tonight at your earliest convenience, we need your input on what you’ve been working on before we send our work off to the princess.”
“R, Right! I’ll do my best to help with whatever is needed.”
Slurping on her smoothie, Lyra thought if there was anything else she needed. Since Bon Bon was talking to Cheerilee, that left a lot of free time for her.
“…Hey Fluttershy, just how long are you going to be here?”
“Oh? I suppose a good while; there are a lot of great deals going on today. Why do you ask?”
“No reasons, no reason at all…”
Lyra chuckled to herself as she began to walk off, doing her best to ignore the pain in her stomach. She had time to kill. A nice little meet up with a certain long-eared rodent sounded like a good way to spend it.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
A loud slam could be heard downstairs, jolting Anon from his nap. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he stretched and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for another round with the horses. He was getting used to them coming at odd hours of the day.
Hearing the clopping of hooves alerted him to their quick arrival, somewhat unusual but not unwelcome. What he hadn’t expected was to see the doorknob shaking, with the door banged up against repeatedly. He could hear what sounded like a kettle blasting steam from its spout on the other side. This troubled Anon. Why would the horses attempt to break down the door like this?
‘Unless it’s not them.’
Had someone found him? Is this a rescue attempt? Or had one of his captors decide to take action against Anon, for whatever reason they found? Perhaps they found his actions as of late to be lackluster for their pleasure and wanted to ramp things up, scare him a bit?
Then, the noises stopped. After a few seconds, he started to relax, thinking the intruder had given up. His worries grew exponentially when a new, grinding noise started. It sounded as if something was eating away at the door, or the doorknob to be precise, as he saw it rattling like crazy. He quickly stood up, fearing for the worst.
The grinding stopped; the doorknob wiggling before being sucked through the other side. The only place he could think of going was the bathroom to hide, but that would block him in even worse with less room to work with.
The door swung open, revealing the creamy coated horse with the lab coat. Anon, confused at the situation, looked at her, wondering why she had done that. He could see her lab coat was bulging with materials. She walked in the room cautiously, leaving the door ajar, unable to close properly without a doorknob. Looking past her, he also saw a bag on the floor with tools sticking out of it. Why did she do that? Where was the unicorn?
She walked over to where Anon and the unicorn typically sat down, staring at Anon. The horse seemed to be waiting on him for something. Getting the message, he slowly made his way to his normal spot, sitting down, staring at her cautiously.
“~+Guess I’m lucky enough Lyra hasn’t come back yet, I need to work fast,+~” the horse whistled before she took a seat. She then stared at Anon with a frown. “~+So, I don’t fully trust you yet, so you better keep to yourself or I’ll, I’ll do something.+~”
The horse paused, and then slapped herself in the face with a hoof. She then dug inside her coat, pulling out scrolls along with ink bottles and quills. Along with those came what appeared to be pictures. Not normal pictures, but ones with images that looked like they were taken with a Polaroid camera.
“~+I know you can’t understand me, so I’ll mostly be talking to myself. I find that completely fine, preferring my own company to most others, especially aliens like you.+~”
The horse dug around some more, coming out with sheets of paper filled with scribbled, unintelligible notes. “~+Let’s see here. Cheerilee said to try and find common ground between both parties, so those images should help. With Lyra likely to be upset when she gets back this had better work or so help me, I’m throwing you out the window, consequences be darned!+~”
She slid a piece of the scribbled paper over to Anon before sitting upright. He looked down at it, seeing cursive-like writing, evenly spaced out with each character. It looked like a sheet of music. Because, of course, it did.
He saw her shoving a stack of papers in his direction along with a quill and ink bottle, with an image of an apple. Right beside the apple was a string of cursive-like characters and an empty line right underneath it. The horse pointed at her, tapped the cursive, then pointed at him, and then the empty spot,
Anon immediately understood what she wanted. Dipping the quill in ink, he wrote down his word for apple. It wasn’t very clean, what with his difficulty using a quill. Finishing, he passed the paper back to her before he stared at their alphabet once again. Its squiggly, flowery writing appeared confusing at first, but he thought he could translate it if given time.
The horse thumped her hoof against the floor, gaining Anon’s attention. She passed another piece of paper over to him, this one with a tree on it. He could only wonder why he was being forced to translate a language as he continued writing down words with each page passed to him.
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Over the past two hours, huge strides had been made. Although some things were difficult translating, it felt rather simple once he worked out the patterns. It at least offered him some chance of communicating with the horses.
As it turned out, the horses preferred to being called ponies. Because of course, they did. Whoever was controlling them certainly wanted to have things feel like a set display to a little girls show. They even had ridiculous names, of which he was able to translate.
“~+Bonnie!+~ Anon heard twittering out.
The lab-coated horse, named Bon Bon, jumped in the air before she turned to the door. There stood the unicorn, looking stunned, noticing the paper and work all over the ground. She then turned her sights back to Bon Bon, an angered expression appearing.
“~+We were supposed to do this together, Bonnie! Why didn’t you wait for me?+~”
“~+W, Wait,+~” Bon Bon sung out, standing up and backing away, “~+I can explain!+~”
Anon, while not understanding them, could see that the unicorn wasn’t happy with whatever had happened. Did she not want him to learn? But she had been attempting to teach him on a prior occasion, so that couldn’t be it.
Looking at the situation, it appeared she was about to throw a tantrum. He still wasn’t sure just why they were acting in such a manner. Did the person controlling them think it was entertaining?
Seeing that he needed to help diffuse the situation, he grabbed a piece of paper and quickly scribbled down a simple greeting he hoped translated properly to ‘Hello, Lyra’. Perhaps if he could show that he had learned something it could help calm it down.
Anon waved the paper in the air, hoping to gain her attention. Seeing him the unicorn scrunched her face up, levitating the paper right out of his hands with eyes squinted at his butchered attempt at writing their language.
The unicorn immediately flipped her behavior. “~+EEEEEH! Bonnie, he knows how to spell my name!+~”
Bon Bon dropped her head with a sigh of relief as the unicorn rolled around the ground in glee.
“~+Yes, I had been teaching him how to write our language with what Cheerilee told me. I even got him to learn my name.+~” She then passed a piece of paper to Anon, pointing at herself. “~+My name, write my name. Myyyy naaaame.+~”
Anon already figured that she wanted him to write her name. After looking at the paper by him with their translated language, he attempted to write her name down as well.
The smiling unicorn grabbed the paper from him, eager to see his work. Her smile disappeared only for a moment, now replaced with a smirk and what sounded like snickering. Bon Bon looked confused. “~+What’s wrong? He did spell my name, right?+~”
“~+O-oh yes, quite clearly Bam Bam.+~”
The pony grabbed the paper from her, examining it. She clicked her tongue, grabbing a new piece of paper that she shoved toward Anon. “~+No, do it again like I taught you.+~”
Anon wasn’t sure he remembered how to spell her name, even with the paper. More work would be needed. He wrote down the pony’s name once more before he handed it to Lyra.
It read Bam Bam.
Lyra couldn’t stop from letting a loud, squeaky chirp from slipping out as Bon Bon looked at the paper, fuming with anger. Bon Bon paused before she closed her eyes, letting out a slow, controlled breath to calm herself.
“~+Okay, it’s obvious its intelligence isn’t that high so it needs more practice. So let’s try this once more.+~” She grabbed more paper, slipping a piece to Anon before she grabbed her quill for her paper.
“~+B, O, N, B, O, N.+~” The horse pointed at the letters repeatedly, trying to drill the work into his head.
The pony nodded her head, content with his work. “~+Now… wriite myy naamuuh+~”
Nodding his head, Anon wrote her name down before he passed it over for Lyra and Bon Bon to look at.
It read Bam Bam.
Anon simply couldn’t help himself, finding it too amusing. Lyra burst with laughter as Bon Bon stiffened. Lyra dropped to the ground, her warbling guffaws unable to be controlled. Bon Bon looked at Anon and then turned around, heading straight to the window. She then grabbed a piece of the wood, attempting to rip it off.
“~+W-W-W-What are you doing?+~” Lyra wheezed out with a whistle, seeing what Bon Bon was doing.
“~+I’m, eeeerg, going to throw, yeeeergh, that alien… OUT THIS WINDOW!+~”
“~+Nyoooo!+~” Lyra squealed, her laughter now turned to a light giggling. “~+You need to tell me how to teach him to say pudding instead!+~”
The unicorn tried pulling Bon Bon away, who held onto a board attached to the window. “~+GRAAAAAHHH!!!~+~”
‘Maybe I shouldn’t have done that,’ Anon thought, watching the scene before him. But with how dry his days had been recent, he needed to find something to amuse himself with.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X ~ ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
‘Darn Bonnie, trying to do things by herself! Ooh!’ Lyra was upset at her going ahead with teaching him before she could get back.
‘It was also annoying having you repair the doorknob.’
‘Stupid Bonnie, I should’ve made her put it back up.’
‘She did do some good work, teaching him so quickly. The ‘human’ as we now know, is already picking up how to write our language. He might even be able to teach himself on his own time.’
‘He does seem very intelligent.’
She turned to her friend who was writing down what had transpired in her report. A great deal of progress had been made, just as the reports were due to be sent. Sending a semi-complete working of the human’s language was the icing on the cake. They only had Fluttershy’s work left to add before sending off.
A light knocking on the door could be heard. “Right on time,” Lyra said. “Come in!”
Fluttershy walked in, looking worried. “I’m very sorry for not coming sooner. I was held up because I couldn’t find Angel anywhere! It took a while but I found him climbed up in a tree and having wrapped himself in a lot of rope. I don’t know why he would do such a thing.”
Lyra chuckled to herself. ‘Worth spending two hours there.’
“It’s cool, I’m just glad you made it right before we sent our work on Anon to the princess.”
“Anon?” Fluttershy blankly looked at the two. “Oh! Is that the alien’s name? It sure is strange sounding.”
“That’s because he’s an aaaliieeen!” Lyra strained.
Fluttershy giggled as she pulled out a folder out of her side pack, “I hope this is everything you needed. You should take a look at it to make sure everything is fine for the princess.”
Levitating the folder, Lyra looked through it, seeing a very thorough amount of work on the human. She even saw some diagrams on his body, along with drawn images of things like his ears and teeth.
“That’s awesome, Flutters! After all this, I’ll make sure you’re credited so you can get paid for your work. Why you could even become famous for this!”
Fluttershy blushed from your praise before picking up something she wasn’t too pleased to hear. “F, Famous?”
“Well, yeah. Everypony is going to know about you and your work after this eventually gets published to the public.” Or at least, Lyra expected that to happen eventually.
Fluttershy seemed alarmed. ‘Ah, right, she’s not one for being in the spotlight,’ her inner voice said.
“I d-don’t meant to be rude, but I don’t want a repeat of the modeling thing, so i-if you could leave me out of—”
“You were a model?”
“EEP!” Fluttershy clamped a hoof over her mouth, regretting her previous words.
Bon Bon turned away from her work, now giving Lyra a frown. “Didn’t you see those magazines that were published a while back? She was on the cover of them. There were even quite a few posters of her. She still has a small following, hoping for more work from her.”
“I wasn’t paying attention, don’t exactly read fashion magazines. But now that you mention it…”
Fluttershy started to turn red, fidgeting at the unwanted attention and praise. Lyra sighed, looking down at the papers she had given her. It seemed wrong to take credit from someone else.
“I don’t like the idea of claiming I’m the one doing this work, Flutters.”
“It’s fine! Really. I’m just glad to have helped at all. Seeing a new species, even one not from our planet, was rewarding enough.”
“You could just say that it came from an anonymous source that didn’t want to be named, for now, Lyra,” Bon Bon said.
Lyra thought that over for a moment. “That might work, so long as the princess doesn’t directly ask. Okay, I’ll try that, but if the princess asks I can’t hold the information back.”
“R, Right. That works,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “I should be getting back to my animals, I still need to feed them and, um…”
“Right, right. Thanks for the help once again, Flutters.”
She nodded before exiting the door, once more leaving Lyra and Bon Bon to their work. Lyra started to make a copy of Fluttershy’s portion for the princess, taking the original copy and storing it away. Lyra soon found herself immersed in her work, scribbling away, making sure it was all neatly documented.
“Hey, Lyra.”
Said mare jolted, messing up on the current paper she was working on. Looking at it, she could see a nice, large ink smudge. She let out a sigh, grabbing a new piece of paper and setting the destroyed work aside.
“Sorry about that, just wanted to show you something.”
“What time is it?” Lyra asked.
“It’s been about an hour since Fluttershy had come by.”
‘Wow, time went by really quick for you.’
“I was finished with the paperwork, so I was going through some of your stuff to help arrange it a little and saw some of your old books.” Lyra looked at a box beside Bon Bon, seeing the school books she had from the academy.
“I nearly forgot I had those. What exactly did you want to show me?”
Bon Bon passed a thick book over to Lyra. The Creatures of Yesteryear could be read on the cover. Lyra remembered that book; it was a part of her lessons studying on different creatures and beings. She could barely remember anything from it, the material dry and boring, not what she expected from a book with such a great title. Not many ponies are issued such books either, so when she found out she was one of the rare few to get a copy, her excitement went into the trash finding the book so bland to read.
“Page four-hundred and nine,” Bon Bon told her.
Turning to said page, Lyra could see a bipedal creature that eerily resembled the human, only with more hair and brightly colored. “Oh wow! That’s neat!” Lyra said while looking over the descriptions.
There wasn’t a lot of information about the creature, which Lyra found odd. There was a surprising amount of stern warnings regarding the being, yet no information about its life or what it was? All it had were a few sparse details on it.
“I should add this in,” Lyra decided. “We could use this as a good reference point for a species that used to live on our planet. Good find, Bonnie.”
Lyra made copies of the pages from the book, adding them alongside some nice, clear images of the human posing.
Examining the entry once more, Lyra looked at the title on the creature’s name. “The Bleuh Bleuh Bleuh?”
“Yeah.”
Something was tugging on the back of her head reading that name, something really important…
Sadly, it had slipped away. Silly as the name was, she made sure to write it down beside the human species. It would take another hour for Lyra to work over the document, packing it all up neatly to send the princess.
“Aright, everything’s ready for the delivery! Wanna read it before I send it off?”
“Nah, I’m good!” Lyra heard yelled from the kitchen.
Walking to her lantern, she slipped the papers inside, watching it condense into its magical form for takeoff. She didn’t expect a reply for a good while, likely not until the next day. Hopefully, it would come along with the bits she requested.
“Lyra, I made you a sandwich!”
Lyra walked in the kitchen, ready to devour the sandwich with gusto. She always did make the best sandwiches, making sure to add extra mayonnaise. Who doesn’t like extra mayo with their tomatoes?
After eating, the two of them sat down on the couch, discussing things they could be doing with Anon and his lessons when the lantern started kicking about. Lyra looked over at it, seeing a scroll had been deposited from it.
“Didn’t you just send that a little while ago?” Bon Bon asked. “That’s a quick response from them.”
“Yeah… it is.” Another shake and the lantern dumped out a bag that clanged against the holder. “And she sent the bits! Alright, now we have money for clothes and food!” Bon Bon cleared her throat. “I didn’t forget about you either silly.”
She nodded as Lyra went over to pick up the heavy bag. Deciding to look at that later, she opened the scroll, reading it out loud for Bon Bon and herself. It was mostly a formality on how the two of them (three if she included the unnamed helper) were doing a good job on their work, along with other manners such as the bits.
Lyra started to slow down, noticing an oddity. “That’s weird. The last part is written with a block around it.”
Bon Bon merely shrugged. “Maybe it’s just something she felt was important enough she wanted to make sure she had your attention on it?”
“Huh. It’s concerning the Bleuh Bleuh Bleuh. Weird.”
‘Well, whatever,’ her inner voice said. ‘It surely can’t be that bad, right?’
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X ~ Canterlot One Hour Ago ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
There she was, getting ready to sleep after her royal duties were finished for the day when she felt a spell directed at her. Princess Celestia hadn’t felt anything malicious from the magic, so she waited for it to form to see what was being sent. She quickly recognized it as a transportation spell, one with similar flames to Spike the dragon. ‘Why is Twilight sending me a letter so late tonight? Did something occur?’
“Oh!”
Princess Celestia saw a tightly bound folder along with a single scroll that she caught in the air with a spell, immediately noticing the seal of a sun servant placed on them, quickly realizing it was Lyra. While late in the day, it was better than receiving it in the morning.
“If I hurry, I might be able to get Luna in on this update.”
Taking the scroll, she looked at it, seeing it was a simple rundown on things that Lyra had done. Celestia, while wanting to get her sister, was too curious to leave just yet, wanting to know what the next session in this scenario would entail.
“Interesting. They’re having difficulties teaching it to speak our language, so they’ve turned to teach it to write.”
Celestia grew curious just why they went with that. She saw that Lyra had indeed requested bits, needing funds to help supply food, clothing, and outside help. ‘I’ll look to see if her request is reasonable,’ the princess thought to herself, gathering the papers.
Getting up from her bed, she proceeded to leave her room, two guards following behind respectively. Entering the throne room, she saw her sister sitting there, talking to a bat pony that she typically dealt with during the nights. It was rare for Celestia to interact with the nocturnal equines. As it were, they made up a majority of Luna’s forces, and while smaller than her own, hers was more diverse with other beings. She even managed to get griffons in her guard, how quaint.
Celestia waited to enter once the conversation ended and the pony left, the two guards standing outside the entrance.
Luna turned to her sister, an eyebrow raised. “Hello, sister. We, I had thought I sensed your presence. How are you doing this evening?”
“My evening so far has been quite well, thank you for asking.”
“Sorry if I sound too direct, but why you’re still awake during these hours? Is there something important you need my services in?”
“No, nothing of the sorts,” Celestia confessed. “Just as I was lying down, another scenario had arrived for us.”
Luna perked up hearing that. Walking down from her seat, she motioned one of her guards over to her. It was another bat pony, a unique armor signifying a Captain. Whispering something to the pony, Celestia could see the look of surprise on their faces. Celestia’s sister nodded to the guard as it made its way up to the throne, sitting down. Luna walked up to Celestia, noticing her surprised reaction.
“Well, you did say that I should try and change with the times. So I am, as our subjects would say, shaking things up.”
Celestia still felt gobsmacked at this action. This is not what she had meant by change and she was very certain Luna knew of that.
For just a moment, Celestia saw a mirthful expression out of the corner of her eyes. ‘So it’s like that,’ Celestia thought, keeping her face as calm as she could.
Luna gave Celestia a smirk hidden behind a gentle smile, having already seen the reaction she wanted off her sister. “Why, there’s nothing to worry, dearest sister. He is only there to stave off any visitors in my absence while I am away with you.”
“How… creative of you to think of such a thing,” Celestia replied, not wanting to indulge Luna. “Since that’s been dealt with, let us head off to our work.”
Her sister gave Luna another smile, “Lets.”
The two of them walked down the halls toward their study, two sets of day and night guards following closely behind them. Reaching their study, the guards stood their watch outside the door. Upon entering she levitated the scroll to Luna. She started reading as Celestia sat herself down, getting herself comfortable.
“So, she is asking for bits,” Luna hummed. “Even though we allowed requesting, I did not think she would do so. Should we refuse?”
Celestia shook her head, “No, I see no reason not to. She’s gained the assistance of her friend named Bon Bon, along with another that would like to remain unnamed.”
“How curious hearing that.”
“Indeed. Along with that, the bits are for ‘feeding’ and ‘clothing’ the alien. The anonymous pony is helping them figure out the alien’s dietary needs and using old fashioned work to create some diagrams of the creature's body. They will also be acquiring someone’s assistance later for creating clothing as it’s body requires constant coverings. Bits are also needed for anything that might come up they aren’t sure how to deal with but within reason.”
Princess Luna read some of the reports, thinking about her sister's words. “I am still uncertain with trusting the unicorn with these bits, sister.”
“It is fine, I doubt she would try any conning in her work.” Celestia opened the document, showing Luna its contents. “She’s not the type to just try and steal like that. And look, it seems they were arduous in their work.”
Luna examined what was shown to her. The two of them started splitting up the document, reading it in sections together as they conversed on the scenario. Celestia was having a great deal of enjoyment with Luna.
Starting on the portion of the diagram of the folder, titled Health and Biology, Luna frowned. Celestia paused, looking at her sister as she flipped over her pages, looking at the images she had floating beside them.
“How strange; there is something familiar about what I am seeing, but for the life of me… I cannot trace my memory for what it may be.”
Her interest peaked, Celestia turned from her work and slid over to her sister's side to get a look at what Luna had floating in front of her. ‘Oh how lovely, it seems Lyra also had images taken of the alien! They were very clear this time around, allowing her to see the alien in－’
Her thoughts ceased, seeing the images beside another set, displaying a being she had all but forgotten about.
A scream ripped out of her throat. She threw the floating document away from the two, her back flinging away from the table and the horrible images. Celestia’s heart was beating at an irregular pace as Luna stood staring at her sister, clearly seeing something had upset her sister but unable to say why.
Hearing noises outside the door, Luna quickly used her magic, keeping it closed. Thanks to her quick actions, the guards were unable to tear the door down. They continuously banged up against it, trying to force it open. Celestia was thankful for her sister; she didn’t want the guards to see her like this.
“PRINCESS! IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?!” More banging could be seen hitting the door.
“We are fine, you may return to your posts,” Luna ordered them.
A pause of silence occurred before the two sisters heard what sounded like an argument happening outside the door, then more banging. Luna seemed pained from their lack of respect for her orders.
Celestia, trying to collect herself, spoke as clearly as she could, “Guards! Do as you’re ordered! Now, return to your posts!”
The banging stopped after hearing Celestia’s voice. It was quite obvious that it was her guards, not Luna’s, which continued to bang on the door. Even so, their lack of taking orders was not surprising. Celestia may have just gotten her sister back, but it was still apparent some of her guards did not trust her. That’s something she’d have to deal with another time, but for now, she needed to talk to her sister. Luna had a worried expression, focused once more on Celestia.
“Sister, are you alright? What happened to frighten you so?”
Luna’s worry made Celestia happy she cared enough to ask. Standing up, she slowly made her way back at the table, staring down at the document now strewn about. She sighed, levitating everything back in order before looking at her sister.
“Luna… do you perhaps remember the Bleuh Bleuh Bleuh?”
Luna had a curious expression, “No, I can’t say I do.”
Celestia dropped her head down, another sigh escaping her. “I can’t blame you for not remembering. They only came out typically during the daytime, and at first, that was it. They slowly ramped up their actions over time. They were… creations of Discord from long ago.”
She looked down at the pictures, giving her chills along her spine. “He had created them to help him spread chaos of their choosing across the land.” Celestia paused, calming herself before she continued. “They were too good at their jobs. Discord, when I confronted him, admitted they went beyond what he had intended. Things got out of hoof for even him; so much destruction and chaos came from them.”
The chaotic creatures were one of the few things to truly scare Celestia in her long-lived life. They could turn the simplest, most innocent of things into something so horrific, so maddening. Anything they came into contact with was soon tainted with their horrid, black chaos.
“All our little ponies were afraid to do much during the day. But soon, the creatures turned to the night, finding more enjoyment in their work during then.”
Luna’s head popped up at that, “I remember now. That was the start of when so many of our ponies started to stray from my night.”
Celestia nodded her head in acknowledgment. “You only remember a small portion of it since their night raids lasted a very short time, near their end. I, we had agreed to not interfere with one another’s affairs during then, which is why I kept so much of it from you. I deeply regretted that decision.”
Her sister lowered her head, nudging herself beside Celestia in a hug in an attempt to make her feel better. Celestia reciprocated in kind, feeling her fear ebbing away.
“How did you manage to get rid of them?” Luna asked, sitting back up.
“That, once more, was because of Discord. As much as he adores chaos, this was not what he wanted. He felt terrible seeing just what his creations were capable of. So, he helped me sweep across the lands, gathering them all up until the two of us could properly banish them away. Of course, I then used the elements on Discord before he could flee.”
She remembered Discord barely put up a fight that day. She still remembered his roaring laughter at the transformation, all the while trying to force an imposing pose; always a being for dramatics, that one. The draconequus felt bad about what he had done, as Celestia saw. And if it wasn’t for those beings he had created, she wouldn’t have felt a need to keep him locked up.
It wasn’t as if he had meant to hurt anything. He was somewhat enjoyable to have around from time to time, causing some fun scenes here and there. If only he wouldn’t get into so much trouble all the time.
Luna looked at the documents, thinking about what she was told. “Do you think Lyra knew of this before she sent her work to you?”
“…It’s a possibility,” the princess admitted. “Out of anypony I know in this day and age, she would be one of the few to know of such creatures. Though, I am quite surprised she found enough information to know of such things.” Celestia rubbed her eyes with magic, feeling tired from the night’s events. “From everything I know of her, I imagine she may have sent this over as a test of sorts.”
“A test? Surely not!”
“I meant in testing our work in this scenario, nothing more sister. It’s quite possible that, because she knew of my prior association with them, she wanted to look beyond its image and continue dealing with this.”
“Or maybe she wants you to look beyond that? She sent you enough similarities between this ‘alien’ and a past menace. An alien that may very well have nothing to do with this, yet there’s enough of a relation to give one pause and think. You should not set things aside and give this being the benefit of the doubt.”
Celestia thought about her sister's words. “Yes, that is true as well. It might be both those things, and something else. But right now, I’m seeing a challenge that Lyra has just issued us in dealing with this ‘alien’.”
A smile could be seen growing on Luna’s face. “I do hope that means you’re going to reply accurately to this supposed threat.”
“Oh yes sister, I most surely am,” Celestia replied with a smile to match her sisters. “Why, it would be seen as rude if I did not come up with... an appropriate response to this.”
Her actions could stop this scenario sooner than she’d like, but she was NOT going to let this stand without proper retaliation. Especially with Luna being involved.
The two of them read the rest of the documents, looking over everything they were sent as most of their talks were set aside. Finishing, they took out a scroll, Luna neatly writing their acknowledgment on her work and some proper feedback. She started with the acceptance of bits and the usual congratulatory filler areas of their ‘teaching’.
“So, just how should we address the alien situation?” Luna asked.
“Why the alien and the Bleuh Bleuh Bleuh do seem to resemble one another fairly well, don’t you agree?” Celestia paused, taking a moment to herself. “It’s too similar for my liking. That ‘alien’ could be related to them somehow, and that makes them a possible danger if such a relation was true. So we need to set up precautions in making sure the safety of our ponies is met.”
“And if this ‘Anon’ is not proven safe?” Luna asked.
Celestia smiled at those words, which Luna returned in kind. Oh, how much fun it is to bond.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X X ~ Ponyville ~ X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
“—alien known as ‘Anon’ must be proven within two weeks not a danger to our ponies in the manner previously stated. If not, the alien will have to be…”
Lyra choked on her words, feeling faint. The color drained from her face, reading the last few words. Bon Bon looked at her with worry.
“What does it say, Lyra?” Bon Bon asked in a hushed tone.
Lyra gulped air, looking at the scroll once more. “If not… It will have to be b-b-banished… or terminated, for the protection of our subjects… and all of Equestria.”
~End Chapter Four~
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I wonder when the sisters will realize its real?
What? Aren't you the First Contact expert here?
Spent the last few minutes of 2019 reading this. No regrets :D
10013156
To them, logic in their world would be illogical to a different world. So another person’s up could be another person’s circle. It sounds weird, but to put it into context, their world is magical through and through. To imagine anything not having some form of it isn't something their people would have come across.
It’d be like how we try and learn about dark matter. We know it’s there in some form, at least theoretically, but have no way to test anything out. She is used to magical anomalies and workings of species encountering different manners of magic, but not the absence of magic in its entirety.
The first chapter of the new year.
Kinda surprised Pinkie hasn't snuck in and tried to feed him cupcakes because he's new in town and that must be celebrated. (It's a moral imperative!)
10015928
Yeah but a missile is a familiar concept (even if it is glowing) while pastel coloured, magic whistling ponies are literally from out of this world.
He may be deranged enough to do something like this but money cannot buy you a sapient magical pony.
i really love a good HiE, and this is absolutely fantastic
While not the biggest urge I've ever had reading a story, I REALLY want to slap the princesses in the back of the head.
I really like this version of Lyra.
10119947
Ah, never mind on my previous comment. Seems there is going to be some conflict after all.
Man I hope this ain’t true, not a fan of being related to a homunculi from a chaotic being.