“Now hold still...” Moira reached into her jumpsuit pocket and pulled out a syringe. It had been cleaned when her suit had been washed by several palace servants, but still looked none-too safe. “If I can get your neck...”
Twilight teleported behind Celestia’s throne at the feel of needle touching her neck. “Gah! What are you doing?” Twilight poked her head out from behind the throne, and looked up at Celestia. “Is she safe to work with?”
Celestia’s gaze shifted between Twilight and Moira for a few moments before she removed her royal hindquarters from sitting position. “Moira, my dear, I must ask you not to perform any experiments on my little ponies unless you gain their consent first, alright? I want to avoid any nasty... um, accidents.”
Moira sighed. “Oh alright. You really are no fun, y’know?” With a shake of her head, she put the syringe back into her jumpsuit pocket. “So what’s the plan from here? Are you going to show me Equestria? Ooh! I bet there’s all sorts of things for me to research.”
Twilight smiled. “I’m liking her a bit better now.”
“Moira, did you know that Twilight lives in a library?” Celestia’s voice had lost the “I’m-a-bit-annoyed-that-you-tried-to-get-a-blood-sample-from-my-student” tone that had been present a moment earlier.
Moira’s face lit up like a child who had been loosed into a candy store. “A library? Zach told me there was one still in downtown DC... but almost all the books were wrecked.”
“A library where all the books are wrecked?” Twilight’s mind struggled to comprehend such a horror. Those books... those poor books. What kind of horrible monsters would do that?
“Yeah, radiation has a nasty habit of destroying paper...” Moira sighed. “It’s a shame, really. I sometimes wonder how much knowledge we lost to our own follies.” The scientist shook her head, as if that were enough to scorn humanity for its shortcomings. “But, good things have come out of the fallout! We’ve got mole ratties, which I’ve been able to tame after declawing, de-fanging, and lobotomizing them. I tried to make an easier way of taming them with a few leftover chems, but after I had Zachy test it out on some live specimens, we found out that it... kinda killed them. Didn’t really work out too well...”
Twilight took a few moments to process this. The proverbial toaster of her mind told her that Moira perhaps was a bit more off her rocker than she had initially analyzed.
“So, um,” Twilight stammered, hoping to move on from the subject of lobotomies and destroyed books, “who is this ‘Zachy’?”
“He’s the Wasteland’s personal saviour,” Celestia told her student, allowing Moira the gift of not explaining anything she already had all over again. “He helped purify their water, kicked out an oppressive government, and in general defends the weak.”
The lavender unicorn took another moment to process this. She had a feeling that this was going to become a common occurrence. “What kind of world did she come from?”
“Well, it’s honestly not that bad,” Moira said with a slight chuckle.
“Your general populace doesn’t have access to pure water, you had an oppressive government that needed a rebellion to get rid of it, and something called ‘radiation’ destroyed almost all the books!” Twilight cried out in exasperation. “How could it get worse?”
“It couldn’t be habitable at all. Things could always get worse,” Moira reasoned. “I, for one, and very thankful Zachy came along. He pulled us out of a pretty bad mess.”
Twilight gave Moira a skeptical look. “Well, ok then. I still don’t think-” The unicorn was interrupted by a sudden surprised gasp from the scientist.
“You’re one of the Elements of Harmony!” Moira walked over to the stained glass picture of Discord, who was being zapped by six beams of light. Moira looked down at the purple stained glass figure, and looked over Twilight. “Not exactly a perfect likeness, but it’s you!”
“Yes, I’m the Element of Magic,” Twilight said with the hint of a smug grin. “The rest of the Elements are back in Ponyville...”
“Yes, I heard!” Moira looked over at Celestia. “Is she here to take me to Ponyville? I hope so! I haven’t really been to many places, so I always enjoy heading out! And this time, I’m almost entirely certain that I won’t be ripped to bits by a super mutant!”
“Almost entirely certain?”
Moira nodded cheerfully at the royal alicorn’s question. “One can never be certain, can they? That’s one of the many things I learned in the science field! One day, something you thought previously will just get smashed to bits by a new discovery. Just because you haven’t seen any super mutants in Equestria, doesn’t mean they’re not out there hiding in holes!”
Twilight scoffed a bit at this, and rolled her eyes. “I’m fairly certain we don’t have these ‘super mutants’ here in- did you say holes?”
“We-ll...” Moira looked off to the side with an embarrassed grin. “I haven’t had that much first hand encounters with them, but after a few accounts from Zachy, I think they live in holes!”
"Oh, since you have a source to back it up, I suppose you-”
“But Zachy was whacked out on jet when I talked to him,” Moira interrupted once more, earning her a slightly annoyed look from Twilight and an impish grin from Celestia. “So I don’t think he was quite a reliable source since he was also yelling about squirrels and someone named ‘Amata’. But, that’s more than I get out of most survivors of super mutant attacks, most of which just scream in horror.”
Twilight and Celestia both stared at Moira in horrified silence. Moria continued on, her happiness unaffected. “So, are we going to go to Ponyville? I want to take a look at some of the books in Twilight’s library!”
Celestia shot Twilight a look. Twilight blinked quickly and smiled nervously. “Um, yes! Come with me, I’ll show you how we’re getting there!” The unicorn set off down the throne room towards the large doors, the peppy scientist at her hooves.
As the two walked down through the castle’s many corridors and pathways, Moira questioned the purple pony beside her. “So, what are your friends like? You know, the other Elements of Harmony?”
Twilight’s smile transitioned from nervous to genuine at hearing this. “Oh, they’re just great. There’s Rarity, the Element of Generosity and resident fashionista; there’s Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty and a weather pony; Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter and a frequent party thrower. I think you’ll like her!”
Moira made a mental note of this. “Well, generosity isn’t unheard of in the wastes... but people generally hold onto whatever they can. Loyalty is something we value, though! Zachy will be loyal to Megaton until the end, I’m positive of it! He’s really got his priorities straight.” Moira paused for a moment. “I can’t think of anyone who could be the Element of Laughter. Everyone’s so grumpy all the time! I keep telling them to keep their spirits up, but they mostly just yell at me.” Moira sighed, and Twilight giggled. “Still, I’ll look forward to meeting her!”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Twilight remarked, laughing a bit. “We’ve also got Applejack, the Element of Honesty. She and her family are the owners and workers on Sweet Apple Acres, the biggest apple orchard on this side of Canterlot. Last but not least, there’s Fluttershy, who’s the Element of Kindness. She takes care of a lot of the animals.”
“Takes care of the animals?” Moira was practically bursting with excitement. “Ooh, I wonder if she’ll let me experiment on them!”
“Um, I wouldn’t count on that...”
The two were now standing on a large balcony that overlooked Canterlot, and out into the rest of Equestria. It was a breathtaking scene. Green forests and rolling hills, small towns here and there, dotting the landscape and adding to the beauteousness of the scene.
“Wow... And here I’m used to looking and the skeletal remains of a giant empire wiped out in a nuclear holocaust!” Moira observed. “Really puts things in perspective.”
Twilight gave Moira a somewhat disdainful look. “Every time you talk, you make me feel guilty about living in Equestria. Well... I guess you were right about it putting things into perspective...”
Moira opened her mouth to respond, but was immediately sidetracked when she caught a glimpse of the royal chariot that Twilight had arrived in. The two royal guard pegasi who had pulled the chariot were discussing a matter of great importance upon Moira’s arrival.
“So what I’m saying, Cloud, is that if you ever want this relationship to work, you’ve gotta be powerful! You’ve got to be commanding!” The first one was saying in a zealous tone.
The guard named Cloud Strider meekly responded with a false sense of confidence. “Yeah, you’re right, Rain Breaker! I’m having the drapes my color!” His voice trembled as he spoke.
Rain Breaker patted on his armored back. “Glad I could help, buddy.”
“Interesting,” Moira said, to herself more than anyone. “So they have winged ponies carry around the chariots. Talk about literal horsepower!”
The guards looked over at the human. Expressions blank, they stared at this strange new creature. Their minds were unable to comprehend what they saw for a few moments, before Rain Breaker broke the silence.
“Dear sweet Celestia, what is that thing?” the pegasus’s voice was one of abject horror. Cloud Strider, instead of answering, decided to play it safe and faint rather than to wait around to find out.
“Oh, sorry!” Twilight’s face burned with embarrassment. “This is Moira Brown! She’s a human that Princess Celestia... erm, found.”
The still conscious pegasus cringed. “Geez, a little bit of notice first? I want to know if I’m going to have the croup scared off of me before it happens!” He looked down at the passed-out pony next to him. “Ey, Strider! Get up!” He kicked his partner a few times.
“But Mommy, I don’t want to join the circus...” the unconscious one mumbled, causing the others quite a bit of confusion. Moira was the exception, who merely smiled wholeheartedly.
“I’m sure she had a good reason for wanting him there,” Moira reasoned.
Twilight trotted to Cloud Strider. “Here, I’ve got a spell that should help.” The unicorn’s horn lit up, and a blast of electricity shot from it.
“Cloud, who had fainted from a shock, was awoken by a shock. Fitting,” the other royal guard said with a bit of a laugh.
“You can create electricity from your horn?” Moira asked in astonishment. “Oh, this is wonderful!”
“Actually, it was synthetic lightning created through magic,” Twilight explained. “I suppose I should have mentioned that we could use magic earlier...”
“Oh, I gathered that from Celestia. I do have a knack for noticing things!” Moira gave Twilight a bit of a searching look, as though she was evaluating her entirety. “I wonder where your magic comes from. Really, a simple blood test would really clear some things up-”
Twilight coughed loudly, and trotted over to the carriage. “Well, it’s about time we got going! I’m sure all my friends in Ponyville are just dying to meet you!”
“Alrighty then!” Moira stepped into the carriage, the side going up to about her waist.
Twilight looked at the human’s size in comparison to the chariot. “Yeah, you may want to crouch a bit...”
Moira did so, leaning forward a bit as she did this, her head coming close to Cloud Strider’s wings.
“You don’t seem very aerodynamic...” Moira brushed her fingers along side the chariot-pulling guard’s wing feathers. “I wonder if it’s got something to do with your feathers...”
Cloud Strider looked at Rain Breaker with a worried look. The other guard was trying best he could not to burst out laughing.
Cloud groaned. “This is going to be a very long ride...”