//------------------------------// // For Whom the School Bell Tolls! // Story: The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible! // by shallow15 //------------------------------// “Never again” turned out to last about three days. During that time, Twilight completed her assignment, and kept herself busy with various other projects, as well as the day-to-day operations of the library. All through that time, however, she found her thoughts turning to journal of Spike's stories. They weren't exactly well-written. The prose got a little ponderous from time to time, the action was melodramatic, and Spike tended to get carried away when describing either the power of Captain Invincible or the beauty of Hot Scoop. Still, the story she had read was fun, and Twilight had to admit that she found it amusing how Spike had written himself and their friends into the roles of heroes and villains in the world of the story. Rainbow Dash as a mad scientist, in particular, made Twilight smile whenever she thought of it. I wonder who else he wrote into his stories? Maybe I could just take a quick peek. No, Twilight! You swore you wouldn't intrude on his privacy again. Leave it alone! She resolutely walked away from the stairs leading to the lower level of the library, and busied herself with dusting the shelves in the common room. When that didn't prove distracting enough, she committed herself to reading the titles on the spine of each book as she dusted. When she finished that, she tried reading a different book, but found her concentration wandering. She didn't want to read any other book. She wanted to read Spike's book. She wanted to know who else Spike had written into his stories. She wanted to see what other dangers Captain Invincible was going to face and how he would get out of them. “All right! All right!” she cried aloud, glad Spike had been sent out on errands earlier in the day. “One story. I will go read the next story, but that's all. No more, Twilight!” Huffing through her nostrils, and mentally chastising herself as she went downstairs to where the journal was waiting, Twilight still found herself eagerly anticipating the next adventure of Captain Invincible. “I tell ya, Cap'n,” Sheriff Banana Bread said as she slid her white stetson back on her head. “I ain't never seen anything like this before.” Captain Invincible nodded soberly. He frowned at the limp bodies of seven ponies that were scattered in the alley. Fortunately, they were all asleep, rather than injured. Around the walls and ground of the alley were nearly two dozen pie pans. Residue from the cream pies, ranging in flavor from banana to chocolate, covered the faces of the ponies and the walls and ground of the alley. “It's a gruesome sight, Sheriff,” he said, rubbing his chin. “Also a very confusing one. Who would go out of their way to assault these ponies? This just seems like overkill for this to be some sort of mass mugging.” “I got one that's even more perplexin', Cap'n,” the earth pony sheriff said. “We found union ID cards on all of 'em. They're all teachers.” “Teachers?” Captain Invincible looked at his friend. “That is strange. Seven teachers, all assaulted with pies, and knocked out by them. How does that happen?” “Well, that's kinda why I asked you to step in,” Banana Bread said. “Strange doin's like this are more the kinda thing you're equipped to handle. Deputy Sugarcube! Stop lickin' the evidence!” Deputy Sugarcube, a pink earth pony with a bright yellow hat, looked up sharply from where she had been licking up the pie reside from one of the pans. “But it tastes so good, Sheriff!” Captain Invincible hid his smile as the sheriff let out a groan and put a hoof to her face. He cleared his throat and regained his composure, turning his attention back to the issue at hand. Seven teachers, all knocked out. Nothing stolen. Why would somepony do this? What do they have to gain? Why—wait! Teachers! That's it! “Sheriff, we need to get out of here,” Captain Invincible said, turning his head sharply towards Banana Bread. “What's goin' on, Cap'n?” Banana Bread asked, confusion evident on her face. “This is a trap and a test.” Banana Bread's expression turned grave. “A test? What kinda test?” “A test of the pies. Think about it. Seven ponies in an alleyway, all assaulted by pies, all out like a light with no injuries that could have caused them. It's obvious.” “The pies were drugged!” Banana Bread exclaimed. She quickly turned to her deputy. “Sugarcube!” “Whooooaaaa... look at all the colors.” The sheriff and the superhero stared at the deputy, who was sitting on her haunches and bobbing her head in circles, staring blankly at the wall. Sugarcube raised a hoof in front of her face and waved it slowly back and forth. “My hooves are huge!” she said in wonderment. Her eyes rolled up in the back of her head, and she tumbled over onto her back. After a moment, she began snoring loudly. Suddenly, there was a flash of light and a magical barrier appeared at both ends of the alley, sealing the dragon and the ponies in. Shortly after that, evil giggling could be heard echoing through the alley. Captain Invincible and Banana Bread looked up to see three fillies looking down at them from the rooftops above. “Looks like Captain Lamebrain finally figured it out,” said the orange pegasus filly with the short purple mane. Across the alley, on the opposite rooftop, were a while unicorn filly with a pink and purple mane and a bright yellow earth pony filly with a red mane, a black bow tied on the back of her head. Both laughed at their captives. Captain Invincible and the sheriff frowned. “The Urchins,” the hero hissed. The sheriff bared her teeth at the yellow filly. “Banana Split, y'all get your plot down here right now!” she yelled. Banana Split just sneered down at her. “Sorry, sis, I never did cotton to all that law 'n order stuff y'all seem to like so much. Besides, Joybuzzer, Sour Note, and me we're just followin' orders. Ain't that right, Sour Note?” Banana Split elbowed the white unicorn filly in the ribs. Sour Note smirked. “Right as rain, and those orders say to keep you right here.” Banana Bread exhaled loudly through her teeth. “One o' these days, I'm gonna finally catch all three of you and tan yer hides somethin' fierce!” Captain Invincible laid one of his claws gently on Banana Bread's withers. “Don't listen to them,” he whispered softly. “I know it hurts that your own sister struck out on a life of crime, but we need to keep our heads. The three of them are just the lackeys, there's a much more diabolical fiend at work here.” Banana Bread looked at the Captain, then her eyes widened as she put it all together. “The Schoolmarm!” she shouted. “Quite correct, Sheriff,” came a cruel, mocking voice. The two looked back up where Joybuzzer was stationed. A plum-colored earth pony mare with a two-toned pink mane tied in a bun appeared next to the pegasus filly, who had climbed up onto the parapet and was grinning down at the prisoners, her tiny wings buzzing madly. The newcomer looked at her over the severe pair of glasses she was wearing. “Joybuzzer, you know better than to do something that dangerous,” she chided. Joybuzzer's wings stopped moving and she stepped down form the parapet. “Yes, Ms. Schoolmarm, ma'am,” Joybuzzer said, dejected. The Schoolmarm patted Joybuzzer on the head. “No harm done. Which, now that I think of it, is a problem. Get the special pies, won't you?” Joybuzzer grinned, saluted, and zoomed off. The Schoolmarm looked across the alley to Sour Note and Banana Split. “How are you holding up, Sour Note?” Sour Note grinned and gestured with her glowing horn. “No problem, Ms. Schoolmarm. I got the barrier holding just fine.” “Good,” the Schoolmarm grinned. She then turned her attention to her captives. “It's so nice to see you again, Sheriff. You too, Captain Invincible.” “You let my sister go, you evil hussy!” Banana Bread yelled up at the villain. “Y'all brainwashed her into doing your evil bidding!” “Brainwashed?” The Schoolmarm assumed an unconvincing expression of shock. “I would do no such thing to a child! Banana Split, have I brainwashed you?” “Nope!” Banana Split said, giving her sister an evil grin. “I just like doin' bad.” Banana Bread growled in response. Captain Invincible looked up at the Schoolmarm. “What's this all about, Schoolmarm? The last time we met, you swore you had given up your evil ways!” “Oh, Captain, you really should pay attention to grammar. What I actually said was that I was giving up brainwashing. While I was languishing behind bars, I realized that actually brainwashing multiple subjects was far too time consuming. I used my time to plan my escape, of course, but also to find a new way to control the malleable minds of the masses. I finally found it, but, like any new discovery, I need to test it out first. Then I thought of you and the sheriff and how you always seem to show up precisely when I don't want you around.” The Schoolmarm sneered as Joybuzzer returned, carrying a dozen pie boxes which she put down on the rooftop next to her boss. “Excellent work, Joybuzzer.” “Thanks, boss,” Joybuzzer grinned. The Schoolmarm opened one of the boxes and hefted the pie inside. “So,” she began, “I found a chemical compound that interacts beautifully with the filling used for cream pies, and I also figured out how to get the two of you exactly where I want you. “Step one: Conceive a situation where you would absolutely have to get involved. Step two: incapacitate a group of ponies with one half of the compound. Step three: trap the two of you down there with the incapacitated ponies. And step four,” The Schoolmarm suddenly reared back and hurled the pie down into the alley, smacking Deputy Sugarcube in the face. “Profit,” The Schoolmarm finished, as Sugarcube's eyes opened. They were unfocused and vacant. Her pupils were mere pinpricks. The deputy staggered to her hooves and began lurching towards the sheriff and Captain Invincible, moaning loudly. Both began instinctively backing up. “Girls,” the Schoolmarm addressed the Urchins. “Let them have it.” Joybuzzer tossed several boxes across to the other two fillies, and all four of the villains began hurling pies down into the alley. Each pie that made contact with one of the unconscious teachers caused that pony to rise up and begin moving like a zombie towards the sheriff and the Ponytopolis Defender. Soon, all seven teachers and Deputy Sugarcube were moaning and lurching towards them. Banana Bread's eyes widened and she pressed herself against the alley wall. Above them, the Schoolmarm and the Urchins laughed in triumph. “What do we do, Cap'n?” Banana Bread asked, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. Captain Invincible frowned and looked up at the top of the alley, then at the magical barrier, then back up at his adversaries. “Can you take on your sister and Sour Note on your own?” he asked. Banana Bread blinked. “Sure, but how in tarnation am I supposed to get up – get back you!” Banana Bread whirled around and with one kick from her hind legs, she sent one of the hapless mind-controlled ponies sailing across the alley. Suddenly, she felt a muscular arm wrap around her body and her vision blurred as she sailed up into the air and came crashing down on the roof next to Sour Note and Banana Split. “Oh, nuts,” said Banana Split. She turned to Sour Note. “Time to go!” “Not yet,” Sour Note replied. She turned to face the sheriff, her horn began to glow a sickly green, then she opened her mouth and let loose with a piercing shriek that caused Banana Bread to wince in pain and put her hooves over her ears. Hearing the magically enhanced scream, Captain Invincible leaped into the air, using his powerful leg muscles to bounce off each side of the alley until he came to the top, somersaulted over the parapet and landed in front of Banana Bread. He reeled slightly as he took the brunt of Sour Note's attack, but quickly tore a scrap of fabric form his cape and dashed towards the filly. Before she knew what had happened the unicorn filly found herself gagged, unable to continue her auditory assault. Captain Invincible took off his silver belt and used it to immobilize the young pony. Once that was done, he looked at Banana Bread. “Are you all right, Sheriff?” he asked. “I'm fine, but the Schoolmarm's gettin' away!” Banana Bread pointed across the alley where the Schoolmarm and Joybuzzer could be seen making a break for it. “I'll get my sister and deal with this one. You go after those two!” Captain Invincible nodded, and with one mighty leap crossed the alley and began pursuing the two villains across the rooftops of Ponytopolis. Stride after stride brought him closer to his quarry. Ahead of him, the Schoolmarm glanced back and snarled. “Joybuzzer, take care of him!” “Yes, Ms. Schoolmarm!” Joybuzzer leaped into the air and her tiny wings began flapping like a hummingbird's. She turned in the air and flew back toward the Captain. As she approached, a curious glow began emanating from her eyes and sparks began to shoot off her wings. She shot back across the rooftops, the sparks changing to little arcs of lightning that sparked from wingtip to wingtip. Captain Invincible skidded to a halt and dove to the side just as a huge charge of lightning burst from the filly and charred the roof where he had just been. Joybuzzer's wings stopped fluttering and she dropped to the roof, landing on her hooves. “Nuts!” she said. She began fluttering her wings again, and slowly began to lift off the roof. Before she could get very high, however, Captain Invincible unfastened his cape from his shoulders, dropped it over the pegasus, and swiftly tied several knots in the corners of the fabric, turning the cape into a large sack that held the evil filly captive. Knowing that Joybuzzer wouldn't have the room necessary for her to charge her lightning attack, he slung the makeshift bag over his shoulder and continued pursuing the Schoolmarm. **** Meanwhile, back behind the hero, Banana Split faced off against her older sister. The sheriff sighed heavily. “Don't make this any tougher'n it has to be, Banana Split,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Just come quietly, and we can sort this out.” Banana Split laughed harshly. “Ha! Nothin' to sort out, sis. Ms. Schoolmarm's shown us how to get what we want outta life, and it don't include nosy big sisters and stupid dragons in masks ruinin' all my fun.” “Fun!?” Banana Bread snapped. “Breakin' the law ain't fun!” “Not to you, maybe. Besides, Ms. Schoolmarm taught me a special trick too.” Banana Split's eyes began glowing an eerie pink, then the next thing the sheriff knew, she was surrounded by ten Banana Splits. “Whose got the upper hoof now, huh, big sis?” the Banana Splits chorused. The next thing Banana Bread knew, she was being assaulted by a number of fillies, all kicking and biting her wherever they could. The sheriff's hat was knocked off her head, and soon, she was buried under a pile of her sister's duplicates. Sorry, little sis, but ya left me no choice. With a mighty roar, Banana Bread flexed her muscles and began bucking her legs sending the duplicates of her sister flying. Each landed with a cry of pain on the graveled roof of the building. Some were knocked out by the impact and vanished when they lost consciousness. When Banana Bread got back to her hooves, there were only four Banana Splits facing her, all slowly getting to their own hooves. She glanced down at her overturned hat, and quickly pulled the lasso she kept in the crown with her teeth. She began twirling it over her head and scanned the clones of her sister before her. Dang it. No way to tell 'em apart. Well, I promised I was gonna tan her hide, anyway. The sheriff threw the lasso, snagged one of the Banana Splits around her hoof, then pulled sharply. The lassoed filly flew across the roof and collided with one of the other duplicates. They rolled across the roof, both becoming entangled in the rope as Banana Bread let go, letting the fillies' momentum carry them along. The other two Banana Splits started running away from their lookalikes as they bore down on them. Banana Bread dashed around them and started herding them back together in one group. All four looked at each other, then at their sister, and all assumed the same expression of dewey-eyed innocence. “Y'all wouldn't hurt your own sister, wouldja sis?” chorused their voices as one. Banana Bread frowned in consideration, then gave her answer. “Nope. But then, three of ya ain't really my sister. And since the only way I can tell y'all apart is by knockin' ya all out, well, I reckon I got no other choice.” Banana Bread reared up and pounded her forehooves together with an ominous smack. The Banana Splits looked at each other, came to a decision, and their eyes glowed once again. There was another flash, and only one filly was looking up at the orange law enforcement mare. Neither sister looked directly at each other as Banana Bread used her lasso to immobilize her lawbreaking sibling. **** “All right, Schoolmarm,” Captain Invincible said, gently putting his captive down on the rooftop where he had cornered the villain. “It's all over. Your evil mind control pie scheme is finished and you and the Urchins are going away for a long time!” The Schoolmarm's face curled up in an expression of anger. She glanced over the edge of the building, then looked back at her nemesis. “I'm not going back to prison, Captain,” she yelled. “I'll die first before I let you take me back!” “I'll talk to the sheriff and the courts,” Captain Invincible said. “If you come quietly, I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement.” He took a step forward, holding out a claw for her to take. As he did so, the mad teacher threw herself over the edge of the building. “No!” Captain Invincible cried, racing to the edge of the building. He peered over the edge, expecting to see the broken body of the Schoolmarm on the sidewalk below. There was nothing. Captain Invincible frowned in puzzlement, when he heard a shrill whistle from across the street. He looked up and stared at the rooftop, where the Schoolmarm stood, waving a hoof in farewell, her eyes glowing a deep magenta. “Sorry, Captain, but you should have known that if I taught the Urchins some new tricks, I probably had one or two of my own in reserve. Until next time, Captain Insightful!” With that, the Schoolmarm galloped off and out of sight. ***** “The Schoolmarm got away,” Banana Bread said as she and Captain Invincible watched the Urchins being hauled off in the city's paddy wagon. The teachers who had been attacked had all awoken, as had Deputy Sugarcube, who was being seen to by one of the paramedics that the sheriff had called. “Yes,” Captain Invincible agreed. “But she'll be back, and next time we'll be ready for her and her new powers.” “Yeah.” Captain Invincible caught the sad note in the sheriff's voice and looked down at her. “I'm sorry about your sister.” Banana Bread sniffed. “She made her choice. Now she's gotta deal with the law. But that don't mean I gotta like it.” The Draconic Defender placed a reassuring claw on the sheriff's withers. “No, it doesn't. But once the judge decides what to do with her, well, maybe she could use a little guidance from her big sister, rather than the Ponytopolis Sheriff.” Banana Bread looked up at him. “Ya think so, Cap'n?” “She's young, there's still plenty of time for her and her friends to turn their lives around. They just need a little help.” Banana Bread gave him a small smile. “If you think so, then I reckon I can be around to help 'em out.” Captain Invincible grinned back at her. “Now, let's go see if Deputy Sugarcube has come down from the Schoolmarm's mind control pie.” “The narwhals!” cried Deputy Sugarcube. “They hunger for my succulent eardrums!” The superhero and the sheriff both snorted as they tried to keep from bursting out laughing. Twilight quickly slapped a hoof over her mouth as she let out a short burst of laughter. She backtracked a couple of pages in the journal and re-read them. This story was as much fun as the first but there were still a couple of things that bothered her about it. Where did the Schoolmarm get her powers? Captain Invincible was surprised she could teleport like that, being an earth pony and all, so it had to be something new. How did she teach the Urchins their powers? Why wasn't that explained? Did it happen in another story? Maybe I should read the next one. Spike could have realized he left that plot hole and filled it in later. Twilight nodded to herself and flipped to the next story in the journal, eager to see what Spike had come up with next. She was still so engrossed with her questions about the Schoolmarm that she failed to hear the sound of someone coming down the stairs, which was why she leaped almost three feet in the air when someone loudly called her name. Twilight's eyes opened wide and her cheeks flushed bright red, as she realized that she had just been caught.