A genuine oblivious simulator.

Watch as pony after pony, throw themselves at you!

And you simply act borderline retarded.

Contains Mild Cursing And Lots Of Sex Slang!

I Wrote This As A Gift To My New Mate MDCommissioner!

It's dumb and silly but I hope you still enjoy luv!

Art By PonutJoe, check source for link.

Bloody Featured On 1\19\20 & 1\20\20 & 1\21\20 & 1\22\20 & 1\23\20 & 1\24\20!

Yona and Sandbar have been going steady for about 3 months now, and all their other friends find it cute. However, maybe they've gone too fast in this relationship when Sandbar tells them they've done... IT!

Thanks to Darth Link 22 and CrackedInkWell for helping edit this.

If bureaucracy is the wheels of a nation, then proper scheduling is the grease and oil.
When it is ignored, things either grind to a halt... or someone gets chewed up in the gears.
Tirek never thought it would happen to him.

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Winner of the 8th GapJaxie's "Quills and Sofas" Speedwriting competition (19/9/19)!

This story is a sequel to Nopony Interrupts My FRIENDSHIP SPEECH, Starlight Glimmer!!

After a failed rescue mission to save Princess Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike, Flurry Heart, and the other Princesses, Starlight Glimmer found herself helpless against the might of Queen Chrysalis and the Changelings. It looked to be all over for them and Equestria.

That is, until Starlight started acting odd when Chrysalis teasingly said "friendship speech" and Thorax informs Chrysalis why Starlight was acting the way she did. Afterwards, things got nuts.

Will Twilight and the others be saved from their cocoon prisons, and will Chrysalis be able to help(?!) Starlight?

This story takes place during the events of the season 6 finale. But the season 5 finale did not happen in the continuity of this story, but Starlight is reformed and is still Twilight's student. This story's predecessor would explain why, and it took place during the season 5 premiere.

However, it's not mandatory to read it first to enjoy this story (and laugh) since enough will be explained to understand what's going on.

Last but definitely not least, special thanks to TheHardie-Boy For proofreading this story.

EDIT: Made the featured list on 09/19/19!!

EDIT on 09/20/19: After thinking about it, I added the "Dark" tag to this story. It should fit what will happen in it.

Cornered by Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends, who just got their Cutie Marks back, Starlight Glimmer thought Twilight was ready to "bore" her with a friendship speech.

However, thinking of how Starlight interrupted her earlier friendship speech attempt by yelling at her to be QUIET, Twilight wasn't planning to give a speech this time. Not least, not quite like the ones you would usually think of.

This may not end well for the former ruler of "Our Town" if she doesn't start running!

This takes places in part 2 of the season 5 premiere...obviously.

Following a review of her Royal Guards, Celestia decides that some changes are in order.

Afterall, the castle could always use more cleaning staff...

Inspired by the series of images by Skitterpone.

Twilight discovers an insidious new plot by a new shop in town, they sell things she finds out are named "peesa" and the combinations are unbelievable. Always, however, they seem to be based around cheese and tomato, two of the Princess of Friendship's favorite foods!

Contains: Fun, silliness, changelings... fairly standard fare for me!

EDIT: So, this universe is completely identical to the normal canon universe, except Twilight Sparkle freakin' loves cheese. (in other news, I now know what a quesadilla is)

See This Blog for licensing.

Smolder and Ocellus have been secretly together for months, and after a steamy night together, the tired dragon tries to return to her own room undetected.

Thanks to Freglz for prereading.
Cover art is by frist44.

Scootaloo needs to talk about sex. Unfortunately, she goes to Twilight for help, and gets a lecture, instead.

(Possible unequivocal spoilers in comments)

And with a YouTube audio reading, apparently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUBgt876x8Y
They really nail the panic in Scootaloo's voice! I love it!

Starlight had left the castle in the morning. Everything had been perfectly normal.

Starlight had come back to the castle at noon. Everything was still perfectly normal.

Except maybe for the way Twilight had set the crystal castle on fire, and how she was currently sitting outside as the building burned to the ground.

But aside from that very minor detail, everything was perfectly normal.

Everything was exactly as it was supposed to be, going exactly as it was supposed to.