• Published 1st Apr 2013
  • 6,622 Views, 119 Comments

413 Mulberry Lane : A Report (With Annotations by Twilight Sparkle) - Starsong



A student at Celestia's school encounters an entity that seeks to claim him. His only hope lies with Princess Celestia, and the truth hidden in the documents she holds.

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The Soundstone

Included with the manuscript is a small bundle of items of mysterious nature, all related to the investigations.

One such is the crystal containing the recording taken by Glimmer and Aria, and can be listened to here.

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Comments ( 76 )

I very much enjoyed this. Not only inspired by a book I love, but also done with some skill and with sound to boot? Love love love.

This story really makes me fear the unknown

2359238
:heart:

2362147
Have you read https://www.fimfiction.net/story/22323/a-fleetng-light-n-the-darkness this story? It's one of the few dark stories around here I totally loved.

I tend to hop genres a lot, but if I thought of another dark story I liked, I would write it.

Steven King hilariously doesn't follow his own amazing advice, a lot of the time, much to his own detriment. He always pulls out a monster and it's totally bogus.

2362280
Hehe. If light ever helps...

2362878
I'm glad you and others think I pulled this off well! I don't write a lot of horror. Though usually because I have a hard time sleeping afterwards...

2363340
A good dose of fear is healthy.

2364209
Thank you!

2366728
Thanks. Got any recommendations? I have a hard time scoping out horror stories I like that don't fall into the traps of bad slasher crap (I mean you can write a good serial killer thing but it is HARD).

Actually that's a good question for everyone. Shaaaaare.

2362878

Many thanks to Cynewolf for pointing this story out.

Very nice work. I get the House of Leaves vibe, and this story manages to be just as unsettling in a mere 9,000 words. Beautiful work with the slow build in tension.

And most importantly, excellent discretion in knowing what not to reveal. Sometimes that's the most important detail of all.

2374646
Danke! I was worried about the ending, and if people would really get it. Still I wonder...

2387215
And thank you kindly for reading/commenting.~

I've probably already gabbed up and down this page about how I like my horror, and I just tried to work in that same vein. Trouble is that I know all the answers (or at least what I THINK are the answers... who knows? Maybe the whole truth is beyond me, too) and I want to get into everyone's heads and know exactly what they're thinking. Down that path lays madness, I think.

Also you get extra props for the House reference. :heart:

2397054
What third guard? :twilightsmile:

2397740 Hardy har har. :derpytongue2:

My friends are with me, as is a pair of royal guards. (...)Then it occurs to me that all nine of us are fitting easily into the room.

There are 6 element bearers. One pair of guards. That makes 8 ponies. Nine of them are in the room.
...
:pinkiecrazy:

I could swear there was another guard with us, but these two deny anything. I blame it on the unusual heat and decide to move on.

You mindscrewing bastard. :trixieshiftright:

Comment posted by Meteor_Mirage deleted Apr 29th, 2018

This is intresting. The story seems complete but it feels like I am also missing a part of it as well... Like a page I forgot I red.

It would be cool if they do a nod of this in the show. Just have Twi stare at a house strangly for a sec before shrugging it off.

Perfectly done horror. The atmosphere, the pacing, the descriptions, everything is pitch perfect. I specially love the sheer wrongness of the descriptions, like reality itself is shifting around the characters (or maybe just their memories). I love when a work makes me wonder if the errors are intentional, and you really pull that off. From what jumps out to me, is the fact that there is no mention of the water closet on the second floor, the lack of a 9th note, and the inconsistencies about the guards.

Anyway, loved it. You surely got a knack for this kind of stuff.

2447111
Part of the appeal of this genre, to me and to others, is not only the horror but the mystery elements. It's kind of up to the audience to piece together what happened. Which is why I'm hoping it'll eventually come about in the comments. Enough theories and discussion and it's bound to show up!

All of the clues are there, no detail meaningless, all deliberate. It might be facetious to say that I know exactly what happened, but okay, fine, I'll take off the spooky mask and say at least I know exactly what happened according to me.

Your mileage may vary.

2447263
There are zero Homestuck references in this story.

2400901
I had difficulty sleeping several days when reading House of Leaves. It also made me fall in love with the format. I've been reflecting and a lot of my favorite horror games (SH2, Fatal Frame to a certain extent, and especially Eternal Darkness) use the 'found document' to great effect.

In HoL I always felt protected by the fact that the most terrifying story was fictional in the universe of the book, and the protagonist wasn't haunted so much as a little crazy/paranoid. So many of the 'real' details were uncanny, though.

So I definitely riffed off of the format, but didn't keep that idea of the manuscript being a fiction (or purported fiction). I'm glad this is enjoyable for folks, at any rate. :twilightsmile:

Edit: respond to comments, several more pop up in the meanwhile. I haven't forgotten about you! I just have to go to lecture. Yikes.

2447674
Heehee. Always wonder about this sort of thing when I'm in a crowd...

2447814
Hey, it's okay, and I definitely dig helpful criticism. I'm always working on ways to make my voices more diversified, and I think it's an area in which I am struggling. Glimmer and Twilight being similar is kind of more likely since they're both Academics with the same goal and type of education, reporting to Celestia. The protagonist could probably have been done a little better.

I figure Equestria has ghost stories (and Season 3 proved to be a little helpful in that) and something like this would be a natural extension. But I also had a lot of other goals in mind. It's unfortunate if it didn't have a strong effect on you, but sometimes that's going to happen.

I will ask, if you don't mind me doing so, what it is that you find terrifying in the world?

2447854
Give it time to sink in.

2447855
Thank you.~ There are reasons for everything, but it wouldn't be any fun if I just spelled out my own reasoning.

2448007
I really like hearing people's thoughts on this. I think it also extends beyond the story, too, just thinking about what's threatening, what's terrifying. So often, magic or magical creatures are at the center of these stories... but beneath that and what makes them more rending is an emotion you can relate to, and something normal gone horribly wrong.

2448115
It might not be horror in a traditional sense, but I wanted to bring it closer to home, so to speak. Everything makes sense from my perspective. But missing information can make it really disorienting.

2448180
Neil Gaiman is one of my favorite authors, so I find this quite flattering. And I think you'll be fine. Probably. :twilightsmile:

2448414
I'm probably missing the reference, but don't tease the masses too much. :heart:

My God. No other fan fiction has unnerved me like this one has. I wish I could say more, but all-in-all this was fantastic. God. The part with the doors...*shudders*. Although the little after-memory-loss ending felt a little too long for my tastes.

Very enjoyable, a simple premise, at first you see, yet worked and weaved with a touch that haunts so well. It was a blast to read.

The one thing thatreally bugs me about this fic is that the shifting of firstperson perspectives isn't as clear as it feels like it should be. At times I couldn't tell whether it was the unnamed antagonist, (Octavia maybe?) Twilight, or the other investigator who was speaking. Other than that, it was an excelent and unsettling read, good work.

Usually I'm a bit brilliant with finding hidden meanings and putting things together, but these kinds of horror stories always stump me. So far, what I know is:
-The smell of the mugs changed.
-There was something else in the room when Twilight entered, but she thought it was a guard.
-The house added some things after Glimmer was there (fireplace, 3rd bedroom)
-There was some kind of Uncanny Valley thing in the room with the alicorn and Twilight.
-The protagonist had his history altered.
-Chaotic Pony has all the answers, but he's not sharing. (meanie)
-Stargater93 said some random number, which the author replied to with a heart. This is either another House of Leaves reference, (I've never read it) or the answer to something in the book.

Ok, had to make an account just to comment dagnabit....
Anyway, first off cudos on the story there was really only one part that set me on that edged reader feeling but for the most part I just enjoyed the weirdness of it all.

With that out of the way let me get to why I bothered to create an account.
The theories. Oh yes. Love 'em.
I'm not going to start spouting my own off because I've come up with five just in the course of typing this. No I'm just going to help a little by throwing in a morsel ya'll seem to keep stumbling/missing over. The filly at the window that runs of.... is.... None other.... Than our own little protagonist Dun dun duun.

Enjoy your paradoxes.

Could you host the mp3 on some other site? Google isn't letting me download it, because too many others already have.

This is so incredibly good. I keep on reading and re-reading to try and see if I'll solve this mystery. One thing that really unnerves me is the 'the shapes in the room'. Twilight never describes them; the lack of description, only calling them 'shapes' or the 'others' is really disconcerting... Are they ponies, I wonder?

I've sort of thought of a theory which mainly stems from the passage at the end, from what happens to the narrator. Somehow the house has changed his (perhaps her?) very being, instead of his cutie mark being magic related, he now has a passion and talent for music. And music is a key part of the house, the pianos, the soundstone, the music on the walls... Did the narrator ever really leave?

I don't mean that the ending is 'it was all in his head', but there appear to be some hints at the end that he lives in the house, or that elements of the house have been transplanted onto his own life. The 'full night run of Canterlot at my doorstep' describes 413 Mulberry Lane perfectly. Is his mother now the alicorn in the picture? The way his mother brushes him with her wing is a mirror of how Twilight is similarly touched by the wing of the alicorn, a figure that she is also moved to call 'mother'. The narrator remarks at the start that the painting of the couple in the house is 'way too lovey dovey', yet at the end is very proud that, for his parents 'the only ponies they love more than us are each other'. His parents seen to now reflect (or actually are?) the couple in the painting. Which brings me to his 'siblings'...

The house wants unicorns, not all unicorns but the only ponies it shows interest in are unicorns. The reason Apple Tart went through the hole was that the house did not want an earth pony. It let Glimmer into the house because he was a unicorn, and the same goes for Twilight; it tries stop the rest of Twilight's friends on the stairs because it has centred on her. It wanted Twilight just as it wanted the narrator. And I believe the 'siblings' mentioned at the end may be the other ponies that the house has swallowed, the same 'shapes' that Twilight sees at the end. After all, the common rumour is that a family of unicorns lives in the house. Perhaps, though the narrator, Twilight and Glimmer escape, a part of them has been taken by the house, or perhaps their own lives were simply swallowed by it. The table inside the house can seat fifteen; how many victims have been taken?

I don't know why the house wants unicorns and tries to mould them differently. Maybe an alicorn lost a child, and in her grief locked herself away from the outside world (the carvings reminiscent of royalty might be a hint, perhaps). Now she exists, swallowed by her own magic, a strange eldritch horror that tries to recreate the lost child over and over again to be the 'mother' that she always wanted to be. I don't know if the P.S is a clue to her identity- the P could be for Princess? The S somehow makes me wonder if Celestia was ever spelt as Selestia in old Canterlot, but I can't think of anything else to support a theory that the alicorn is Celestia.

Hopefully this somehow makes sense! I feel a little like I'm just rambling on a page. :twilightoops: I just really, really enjoy the entire atmosphere of this story and have enjoyed looking at everyone else's theories. One thing I don't think people have noted is that it's never fully explained how Twilight is now. She escaped, and her memory was erased but all Celestia says is:

“Twilight is alright,” says Celestia, hanging her head. “I'll never forgive myself for what I put her through. But she's safe, and she sleeps at ease. Her life goes on.”

Is Twilight the same Twilight that first entered the house? 'Her life goes on' but what life? Has she fared any better than the narrator?

2448414

I'm also really intrigued by this comment- you keep on changing pronouns, which I'm guessing is your hint? It doesn't sound anything like my theory at all, but now I'm really eager to know what yours is. I need to know! :twilightsmile:

In summary: I love this story, I love the tension, I love the atmosphere and I love the subtle changes like how the cups change their scent and the 'third guard'. I think the ending might be even worse for the narrator than first supposed, but I may have merely gone insane from reading this story ten times in a row... :pinkiecrazy:

2450560
I'm aware of this now and will be working on getting another host up ASAP. Someone recommended soundcloud, I'll try it...

Need to reply to a lot of stuff but I'm sleepy. :ajsleepy:

2448628 Of course you may ask! I love good questions. I will, however, forward that in a PM, since this thread should be about the story.

I do appreciate the limitations of the voices, but what made it stand out was that you'd used short sentences to build the tension in a character's written account. It's effective, but a little too far into openly manipulative for me not to see the intent, rather than the story. I'm not meaning to say that it's not a good idea, that's just how I took it. Maybe I'd have backed off a little on that for the second actor, since the underlying suspense is already there.

But then, I've never even tried writing horror, so what do I know :P

-Scott

Well...I read this over a Skype call and I creeped MYSELF out! :twilightoops:
Very Lovecraftian feel to the whole thing, and the bit with the doors and the the "dead" alicorn opening her eyes, and the creepy assed bottomless hole in the floor...eesh, I got the chills, man!
I agree with Glimmer: bulldoze that damn house, neurolize :trollestia: everypony that ever set hoof in that house, and, in the words of Rarity:

I love the story but I still wonder. Did anypony investigate the hole further? It says that it might intersect with the 'Canterlot Caverns' which I am lead to believe are the same caves that Queen Chrysalis sent Twilight to in A Canterlot Wedding, which both Twilight and Cadence know how to get in and out of. Somepony could go down and try to find the hole! It also said that Twilight believed that the hole was sucking in the magic somehow. What if they had tried to seal it? Put a book over it or something? Personally I am disappointed in Twilight for not investigating further. Adding on, Celestia herself wants no pony else to enter that house though it remains standing. Why hasn't she destroyed it like both investigators recommended? Did the alicorn inside enchant it so it could never be destroyed? Or is there a possibility that the alicorn could escape if her magical house were to no longer exist? You can't kill her afterwards after all. My final theory being, maybe she knows her and believes it best she stay there.

Wow... I am honestly disturbed. I don't think a work of fiction has disturbed me this much since NIGEB.

SO AWESOME! :rainbowkiss: I love it.

This strongly reminds me of the accounts from the mansion known as Summerwind. Until it burned down in 1988, it was supposedly THE most haunted house in Wisconsin.

I just had a thought: what if they grey colt the first expedition leader saw through the window was in fact the narrator, due to the timey whimey effect the house has.

2449782 (Rai Actiene)
2450191 (Bloodgulchout)
2450638 (LouFrouFrou)

Nice theories and inquiries, guys. However, I still have some questions of my own for the author, considering that the second chapter didn't let me hear the mp3; 2451527 (HoneyThePegasus) voiced them perfectly. 2450822 (Starsong) Author, can you answer them?

On the plus side though, your story is structured better than "A Light in the Fleeting Darkness," being that your story is actually a report, whereas in that story, it only restates what's inside Twilight's journal and very little of anything else. Also, I'm pretty sure that 413 Mulberry Lane was referenced in the fic "The Haunting in Ponyville."

Wait, hang on... [skims through "A Haunting in Ponyville"]

Yep it's there.

2450638 I believe Princess Luna was known as Princess Selena in previous generations. P.S., maybe? Just a thought.

2453658 This thought occurred to me, too. The mention of him passing by outside the window could have corresponded to when he said he lapped the house in the first scene.

2449310
If I did it again, I imagine I would find a way to distinguish when the in-book narrative was broken to separate the protagonist. As it is, his are the only sections that aren't named, but perhaps it should have been more explicit.

2449319
In a way, I think not everyone is going to have the same reaction. Part of my whole design with this was to, as much as possible, not rely on stereotypical imagery of horror. The biggest of which being darkness (which I did succumb to using eventually) and any evidence of violence or what we would consider aberrational. Glad you enjoyed it, even if it didn't quite come up to spook standards.

2449738
I've gotten a soundcloud account and I'll be working on that upload when I have time. I'm not sure it adds all that much to the story, but no sense in backing out now.

2449750
I think a lot of the disturbing nature lies behind the scenes and if people actually care that much about what they think is going on. A lot of layers to bury the horror under, but if it does creep up on you eventually that tends to be the payoff.
.
2450089
I would love to see a group dedicated to ambitious, non-slashy horror. I don't know that I'll be writing a lot more of it, but I would totally show up for that.

... seriously, screw this scrolling up and down the page crap, trying to remember what number was who, exactly what was said... this is why the >quote architecture is SO much more efficient. But I read all the comments and :heart: you folks for them.

I wrote this before I became aware of one of my major writing flaws and I think that effects the blending together of the voices, something I want to work on in future stories. Yeah, I kinda bollix'd it up.

Don't know if I want to release the spoiler pages, as it were. It would definitely answer a lot of questions and verify a lot of things I've seen discussed... disprove others. I don't want to drop hazy clues and tease people, either. There were originally plans for additional materials but me and the crew decided that maybe the text stands on its own. And that the fun would be in just having that. So far, I'm pleased. If everyone was clueless, I might have just thrown up the curtain, but people seem to be doing well with it.

Plus the worst thing I could do would be to cause further confusion.

...:twilightoops:
I cannot describe in words how brilliant this story is. My mind is unnerved and boggled, and I bet there are a bunch of little clues and inconsistencies that I never even noticed. Was the grey pony in the window actually the narrator? Was there ever really a third guard? Could the narrator be the son of Cloud and Aria? The world may never know. (I've got some ideas, though... :pinkiecrazy:)
(Also, if you're still looking for horror story recommendations, I have to mention a short story I found on EQD called NIGEB. No other story ever gave me the urge to slam the computer shut and look nervously over my shoulder...)

Wow, this was very nicely done.

A couple of things first:

Annotations 5 and 14 should be in italics, since they're from Twilight and are talking about something that Glimmer didn't notice. While there are inconsistencies in the rest of the story (the different smell from the cups, the nine ponies in the parlor, etc.), it's made obvious that those are on purpose to add to the unsettling atmosphere.

Also:

It's empty. Identical to Glimmerdust's report, down to the dimensions.

Either you're working on a whole new level of mind screw, or you meant "Glimmer Crescent's report".

With that out of the way, this was a rare piece that actually got horror right. There aren't many notable ones that try to do this on the site, and fewer still that succeed. For a large portion of it, I was getting a very Silent Hill 4 vibe from the story (especially the part about the hole), but there wasn't anything that made me fear for the characters. It was all curious and strange, and actually felt more like a supernatural mystery than a horror story.

When I reach the edge of the stairs, I just have to look back. I have to look at the end of the hallway and at the end of it I see a single closet door. I know it wasn't there before.

I'm sorry. I have to see what's inside. I have to know.

Until this part.

You know that moment in scary movies when the protagonists start doing really, really stupid things and you start screaming in your head "Stop! Please, you can't be so idiotic! Aren't you the least bit genre savvy?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Gah!"? That was me for the duration of that scene. That was a good thing, because you made me care enough to wish that Twilight would just walk away and leave the whole thing unresolved. And I felt a chill run down my spine every time she opened a door, because I wanted there to be nothing behind it, so her curiosity could be sated.

Of course, I also have my theories over what happened, but it seems to align somewhat with what others posted before. The general idea being that the alicorn lost her child/children/spouse at some point (probably because she's immortal and they weren't) and is constantly trying to find a replacement for them. The shells of her former attempts being what populate her "room"—which isn't all that populated, considering she's been doing this for around six hundred years.

For those who couldn't download the sound file, it's pretty much what's described in the story: it sounds like someone practicing piano with lots of white noise in the background. Near the end you hear the clopping of hooves getting closer, then the soft laughter of a grown mare (I'm guessing it's the alicorn mother) along with the giggle of a filly (her daughter, probably). And then it ends.

What we should all really take from this story is that this is how Celestia makes sure there aren't many magical prodigies in a single generation, turning them instead into virtuosos that don't have enough power to oust her. That's why the house is still standing.

2462914
The sound file has been re-linked on soundcloud, for what it's worth.

Fixed a few tiny things with the manuscript. Not sure why the italics formatted as weird as they did. The instances where they weren't showing up right had the closing brackets, but not the opening ones. Weird.

Still wish I could have used different fonts for those. C'est la vie.

I just wanted to leave a comment to say I quite enjoyed this story. I'm a sucker for this type of horror, and it's very rare to find any that's FIM-themed. This story gave me the chills several times. Very House of Leaves vibe (I want to read another book like that, dag-nabbit!)

*sigh*

Okay, I give up. I've read this twice now, and I still have no idea what the hell is going on. I mean, the bit with the hole was kinda creepy... But then she appears fine, and nothing ever happens to her. The random sex was a bit jarring... but then nothing ever happened. Then... I think you get my point.

I feel dumb. It wasn't creepy... Because I have no clue what the hell happened. Author, or anyone, could you please PM me and explain it a bit? I know that's kinda cheating, but like I've said, I've read it twice, and I have no clue. I really feel stupid, like everyone gets it, gets the actual events, but I don't. So, I throw the white flag. Please?

Have to agree with the theories that the house was trying to turn Unicorns into the Alicorn mare's child/family. When Twilight is in the room she is being attacked mentally. Strange that she seems to escape unscathed; maybe she just resisted longer and had Luna to save her?


This isn't nearly as much a mindfuck as House of Leaves, but then again that book likely has no real explanation.

2387215>>2447384>>2466214>>2476269
I thought this story was creepy and then you guys all write House of Leaves with House... What is this?!

2481590

It wouldn't be the correct title otherwise.

2471804

Jake,

You're not an idiot. I know this, because I've read some of your work, and the quality of work there tells me that you know your way around a story.

413: Mulberry Lane: A Report is a story that some people will find disturbing, while other people will just shrug off, as you seem to have done. The rest of us haven't discovered some secret, or figured out some hidden meaning. Maybe we just find the unknown more disturbing than a more explicitly known horror.

This story is an homage to House of Leaves, a wonderful meta-novel that was annoying to read, but broke a lot of ground in literary circles. Like this story, it deals with layers of manuscripts that describe the titular house (the leaves in the title referring to pages, not plants). The house is bigger on the inside than the out, and as the story progresses it is revealed to be much, much more than a mere house. Indeed, the house itself is just the tip of the... something.

Imagine you are a fish. You live your world in the water. Above you, at the surface, everything is reflected back. When you look up, all you ever see is your reflection.

Then, one day, a boat sails across your lake. An idle passenger dips his fingers into the water. All you, the fish, see is the tips of his fingers, poking into your world. They seems small and harmless and weak.

But they are only the tip of the creature that is the human above. The human, who regards you as nothing more than a curiosity (at best), or perhaps something to be eaten.

The house is like those fingers. You see them, and they seem harmless, but they are just the tip of the true entity. There is something much larger, much greater, much more terrible right there, right next to you. And it sees you; it knows you are crawling through its veins, about to stumble into its maw.

At least, that's what I thought when I read this story. Your mileage may vary :)

Jesus, that's unsettling.

And file me under "too thick to decipher it and would really like a real explanation from ANYPONY".

I'll probably read this again when it's not past midnight and terrifying, though. See if I can come up with anything.

The house eats an architect and grows a room? Okay. That makes sense.
No wonder that Applejack was melancholy, standing in that room.

I am shaking right now, genuinely, legitimately shaking.

I have never read anything, either either published fiction or fanfiction, that has actually left me shaking with absolute fear and anxiety. It's fucking wonderful, man. I haven't felt like that in relation to horror media in a long ass amount of time. The tenseness of it all, the feeling of anxiety and dread, the lovecraftian elements as well as the inclusion of non-euclidean geometry add up very well and created some pretty powerful emotions in me.

But as lovely as it is it still isn't without problems: It honestly felt rather rushed, especially at the beginning when instead of being eased into the story it just drops us off right into it. This is a problem that persists throughout the fic. As tense and mind boggling as this fic was, it really just needed to be expanded much more, it needed more time to just linger and built atmosphere instead of being so concise. Another problem I have with this is actually a problem I have with writers of psychological (and I suppose Lovecraftian) horror, knowing how much information to give to the audience as well as how much information you should withhold. The SCP foundation is a great example of withheld information being used to awesome effect but even then several articles on their site suffer from not finding a right balance between these two factors. This story really does suffer quite a bit from these things, it just didn't find a good balance, I understand that the unknown and the unknowable are fundamentals of creating good horror but there were so many questions that were simply not addressed (which is not to say, explained, mind you, these two things differ greatly) and if they were I feel that that would help increase the already present aura of mystery. For a story mainly focusing on exploration it really does suffer quite a lot from the lack of any real exploration being done, the lack of questions being raised or addressed, how short, rushed and concise it all was, that as well as some obvious plot holes just leave me feeling unsatisfied after looking back and seeing how much potential it all had.

But, in spite of all that, this was still an enjoyable story and certainly one that managed to scare me quite a lot. It's not perfect, it's not as great as it could've been, but I felt that it did enough right to make me enjoy this despite all the things I've listed above.

You've earned a new follower and I hope you keep this nightmare fuel train chuggin' straight through the depths of hell!

2521936

Well, thank you, and if your trouble sleeping persists, I can always shed a few factoids that may or may not help.

The original plans for this story included a few extra elements (one of which I may still add... though I doubt it. People still seem to get the right impact, and it's better to move on than to dwell in one project for too long.) but they ended up scrapped for time and practicality.

As for more horror, hm... I'm open to it. I don't tend to stick to one genre for long, though. Fanfiction is sort of a playground for me when I'm not busy being sick and doing doing schoolwork. (Which will be over soon, both, I hope.) My next project might include some of those elements, but we'll see. o/'

2524983

I would love to hear some factoids about this story. I'm always interested to listen to what authors have to say about their work.

I am a little sad that the next fic wouldn't be sometime horror related but I look forward to it all the same.

I thought id wait a few weeks before posting to see if anyone else felt the same way i did but did no one else, unless i missed someone of course, feel the mysterious alicorn was most likely celestia herself? as others have pointed out the house has proven itself unsafe and recommended for immediate destruction by two people celestia closely trusts yet it remains. the main character walks in the door and turns around to immanently find celestia right behind him? as though she knew someone would be there or was even waiting for someone. i mean she could have put some kind of trip wards of some sort just in case i suppose but if that were the case you would have thought she'd recognize the danger pointed out by her researchers and at least put up some kind of sign warning or system to keep people out instead of letting them walk in and creepy showing up behind them to whisk them away to god knows where. and speaking of our main character lets not look over the fact she steals him away, makes him read these reports then when she promises to remove his memories he somehow ends up completely rewritten? not to mention by removing almost everyone involved's memories of the events its really her little secret isn't it? speaking of her secrets what happened to Glimmer Crescent? twilight mentions talking to apple tart but glimmer himself is never given any though. since apple was 19 years younger than glimmer its not unthinkable that hes passed away but the lack of any mention of his fate just struct me as extremely strange, not even a mention of the late Glimmer Crescent or any indication of his fate. did he end up a victim of the house as well?

back to my thoughts on the alicorn though while it could of course simply be some unknown alicorn caught in her own past that just felt a little out of place in the story to me. throwing in an oc is fine and well but nothing compared to the tingle in the back of your head asking you if everyone is exactly who they say they are in the end. not to mention an alicorn that wanted twilight to call her mother? i mean come on the we go on and on about twilight and celestia's mother daughter like relationship, i mean random alicorn who wants kids works but celestia herself just fits so much better. perhaps she snapped from the loneliness century ago and has had the house as her little secret refuge of madness ever since. however this time lunas finally back, something changing in her world of frozen time, so she either underestimated lunas power or simple didnt consider it. celestia's current actions of cover up, her past actions of not dealing with the situation and letting this danger sit around, plus the nature of the relationship the mysterous alicorn sought with twilight just screams celestia to me.

just wondered if anyone felt simularly. overall fantastic story though i really enjoyed reading it several times and thinking about it even more.

2560802 An interesting hypothesis. Her Highness Princess Celestia is a bit conspicuous, though, what with her... size. (Land sakes your highness you're HUGE) And that mane. I wonder why Twilight wouldn't recognize her dear teacher. Also, who would Celestia be sharing a bed with? (THAT'S a tabloid header if ever there was one.)

Also, this is not the calibre of author that would simply "throw in an OC" as you put it.

Actually, I take that back. Starry throws OCs at me all the time. Complaint withdrawn. :raritywink:

2593772 Yeah, Starsong is a really good author, especially for a thirteen year old. :twilightsmile:

This story was amazing and as creepy as hell, also having that sound thing too was pretty cool

This was very effective horror. It shows quite nicely how, even in a world where magic is effectively just another branch of science, there is still exists a type of paranormal that cannot be explained or even fully comprehended.

I'll no doubt have to come back and read it again (and maybe a third time) to really understand what all the clues mean, but I mean that in the good way; it's a subtle story that really makes you think, rather than just a confusing mess that doesn't make sense.

I also like that we get a sort of happy ending, even if it does involve brainwashing. I prefer happy endings, but it still feels like the events of the story still had an impact on the character's life. Kudos on making that work.

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