Seven ponies board a train departing from Canterlot: three guards, a young couple, and a thief. Things would've been a lot simpler if the previous statement contained an error.
It doesn't.
Finalist in The Writeoff Association's June event, "A Matter of Perspective"
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Mystery wrapped in an enigma. I always do like this kind of writing because its a difficult road to go down in order to pull off correctly.
So this is a +1 in my mind.
Heh. This was a stimulating read. Good job.
My brain died. Send help pls.
Hmm.
It was pretty nice, in the end. But then I really like stories of this type, and haven't read many recently.
Apart that. Maybe a bit long for what it gives, and maybe a bit unbridled and confusing.
Nice morals, for which I am pleased, but the immersion and focus felt a bit shallow. I have little a clue to what they all really care about, and mostly didn't care to know. Nor did I find anything that looked or felt really clever.
So, overall, I found this to be a nice concept, a chancy ride, and story-wise, a stub. It's got more blank white than unwritten between written. So I liked it mostly because confused mess amuses me, and that the actual morals fit the writing. Perhaps too meta.
Well, that was a good bout of strenuous mental exercise.
Think I'll read it through a couple more times. Love this writing style, though. Made me all tingly and warm.
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I appreciate sophistry elevating this art form but tolerating "too clever" is a stretch. I don't think authors are dead, I'm an author and I'm not dead, so I don't discount what they have to say. I just wish they would say it. I'm not sure if I understood what happened, but I know damn well you, author, had something happened. The reason matters less than the concrete reality of happening. I would guess, but I'd prefer not to insult the fine construction of your craft by getting it wrong.
I wish more authors made glosses and notes. I don't know who said it, but they said it well. Too clever is dumb.