• Member Since 4th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2019

Foehn


Occasionally, I even write.

E

Seven ponies board a train departing from Canterlot: three guards, a young couple, and a thief. Things would've been a lot simpler if the previous statement contained an error.

It doesn't.


Finalist in The Writeoff Association's June event, "A Matter of Perspective"
Proof-read and otherwise made legible by Not_A_Hat

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 8 )

Mystery wrapped in an enigma. I always do like this kind of writing because its a difficult road to go down in order to pull off correctly.
So this is a +1 in my mind.

Heh. This was a stimulating read. Good job.

My brain died. Send help pls.

Comment posted by epicn00b deleted Dec 19th, 2015

Hmm.

It was pretty nice, in the end. But then I really like stories of this type, and haven't read many recently.

Apart that. Maybe a bit long for what it gives, and maybe a bit unbridled and confusing.

Nice morals, for which I am pleased, but the immersion and focus felt a bit shallow. I have little a clue to what they all really care about, and mostly didn't care to know. Nor did I find anything that looked or felt really clever.

So, overall, I found this to be a nice concept, a chancy ride, and story-wise, a stub. It's got more blank white than unwritten between written. So I liked it mostly because confused mess amuses me, and that the actual morals fit the writing. Perhaps too meta.

Well, that was a good bout of strenuous mental exercise.
Think I'll read it through a couple more times. Love this writing style, though. Made me all tingly and warm.

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