• Member Since 29th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen May 6th

Moon Shooter


(Credit to Primogenitor34 for Cover-Art)
(Credit to smellyfeetyouhave and Thunder Blaze for the old cover-art)
(Now 20% CYOA... okay maybe a little more than that. Please use the [Continue] option to go from Chapter to Chapter. If you just want the straight up story, go green)

"It's going to be a long night..."

When a mansion appears out of nowhere in the outskirts of town, The Mane 6, are all invited to a housewarming by Specter Yield, the owner of the strange mansion. Hours after they leave to attend the party, the Cutie Mark Crusaders find themselves in this mansion. Eventually, Sweetie Belle finds herself alone in this massive mansion, trying to save her friends, and discovering the truth behind this haunted mansion. Will she be able to rescue her friends... and possibly all of Equestria from the ghostly presence?

Chapters (44)
Comments ( 1498 )

142784 Note the crossover tab.

Anyway, I'll read this when I get the chance.

Ooh, creepy yet fun, can't wait for more.


Very good start but please sort out your tenses. There are a lot of verbs that you ended with an 'S' rather than a 'D', e.g. "continues" instead of "continued.

146357 What? :facehoof: I didn't notice that. Thanks, I'll fix that as soon as I can! :pinkiehappy:

i have to say this is a great chapter, i hope that more will come soon.


150520 Writing the chapter now. Hey, maybe if it's all good, I'll crank it out today!

Will the mane 6, Applebloom, and Scootaloo be functioning as the boss ghosts in the game? P.S. great chapter

150893 Trust me, I've got something special planned for each of them.

Yay Moar updates! The snarky book is a nice touch. Now if you will excuse me I have to go find my old copy of Luigi's Mansion.

"Smirk" now ya cooking, this here has the makeings of a fine story.


You seem to have some trouble with using the right forms of words, as well as some grammar. But aside from technical issues, it's absolutely awesome.

You need to stop drifting between live action and past tense. Y u no pick one?

152829 This is a bad habit I'm trying to break, but thanks for letting be know. I plan to edit that out later.

152768 I'll keep that in mind when I edit it out a bit later tonight.

I can only imagine the fight with Fluttershy's portait ghost!
Flutterghost: "I WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!!" ':flutterrage:';...umm, if that's okay, that is. ':fluttershysad:'

Very good detail, nice story line, i like it, more please


A couple spelling and grammar mistakes, but then you get punched right in the nuts by story, and you forget all about it. MOAR.

This is awesome.
But AJ messed up 'yeah you did' to an 'i did'. Just thought you hould know.

"Sure people have been turned into ghosts, but you saw Applebloom. People can die here"

This is incredibly jarring, should be ponies.

aww hell no appleblooms possed and pinkie pie is super ghost poor sweetie D: :unsuresweetie:

161277 I suppose I was trying to capture her accent, but maybe over did it a little. I'll check that out.

I sense that someone is going to help her (luigi? proffesor E.Ghadd?)

Man, another cliff hanger, darn you, i'll be thinking about it all day long now. what ever you do, don't stop i LOVE this story.


161277 I could be mistaken when I read your comment, but I think I meant to do that. It's supposed to be Sweetie tricking AJ's ghost. None the less, I'll check it out again.

Cliffhangers! :twilightangry2:
I like how the story has kind of changed focus to more survival in this chapter.

I like it i like it, i can't wait for more.

Oh and i found some videos on youtube with the orignal music and sound track, i just felt like pepole would like to listin to it while rading you story, so here they are. so now we can all get a fell for the creepy









If i missed something importent tell me.


jesus christ who's scarier pinkie pie or applebloom

Perfect. Just fucking perfect. I just went out and bought a copy of Luigi's mansion because Of you. Happy?

Man this should be made into a game.. it would have alot of cinematic cutscenes and there's acually a part where you lose all your stuff this is just awesome! :rainbowkiss:

I would spend all of my money if a game was made of this

Great job as always, i belive that the more you write the more i'll read.

oh, also even thou this story is a long way from done, by the looks of it, you should always plan out your next story, take me for example i've did'nt and now i'm haveing trouble comeing up ideas (who knew a "pirates of the caribbean" and "my little pony" crossover would be so Tricky to write) this is just some friendly advice. Good luck Mate.


"Not evil?" Next, you'll be telling me Sheogorath isn't crazy!

Now, if they made a game of this, it would be awesome. Then again, considering the source material, it is anyway!

166933 Yes, I still have a long way to go from the end. I like your advice. If your talking about individual chapters, I do actually create some type of outline before I begin writing a chapter to refer to as I write. If your talking about other fanfics all together, I do actually have several crossover's I'm really excited about, and have started to mentally plan (though nothing's on paper yet). In any case, thank you for the advice. Any advice I can get is always helpful.

'The ball she was now gripping in her hands'



Here some questions I want to ask about your story.
Q1. How many bosses going to be in your story?
Q2. Are we going to see ghosts similar to Malody Pianissima, Nana, Clockwork Soldiers, Sue Pea, Jarvis, and Vincent Van Gore from Luigiā€™s Mansion?
Q3. Is Discord going to play a role in your story?
Q4. Is your story going to have musical parts like in the Nightmare before Christmas?
Q5. Are we going ghost version of these characters? I would like see that:
Vinyl Scratch
Derpy hooves
Big Mac
Granny Smith
The Wonderbolts
Lyra Heartstrings
Doctor Hooves the clockmaker version
Prince Blueblood
The royal guards
The Spa Ponies

Skele-ghosts? Iiiiiinteresting...further examination of specimen is required. But...do we still have that book? I forgot.

The action of your story is great. You really have the makings of a great action/suspense writer. I'm going to keep reading. I bet you are going to publish someday. Good Luck.

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