I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP
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This is around the Adoption of little babies. Ponie foals, or human kids? You could call it an orphanage?
What set this one in particularly apart, is that it is the ponies, who adopt human kids, while the humans adopt the foals.
This is where it all begun.
The magic of the story is, only the parents can go through, and come back with the baby adoptable. None other can ever pass.
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*AHEM*
*babies
*pony
*foals
*orphanage
*the
*of course
*the
*no one
If that is the intro to your story, then I'd hate to think what the rest of it is like.
Get a dictionary.
4141495 Sorry about all these stupid errors.
Should be fixed by now.
The story should be free of errors, at least typos this easy.
Their mind was blown? Try being me. I couldn't tell if this was past or present.
Plus, this is way too short
Their mind was blown? Try being me. I couldn't tell if this was past or present.
Plus, this is way too short
Not sure I like the implication of what pinkie's sad expression could mean.
Anyway, kinda liked this cohort more, though it's still very confusing. Is the human pinkie took in a pony now, or still human?
4141822 'being you'?
I'm trying to express how this girl feels, as Pinkie come in to Adopt her. Maybe I'm not getting it exactly right, but it is how i figured it would be.
And yeah, the first hapter is short. I hope it will be more as the story devellops.
4141827 Cohort?
Pinkie Pie is a Pony, since the girl is a human.
The second chapter is supposed to be a bright event.
I think next chapter wil be longer, not just because I commonly aim for 1,000 words, but because it feels as if there is substance for more then the length of the previous chapter.
Edit: I hope to post the next chapter some time later today, or early tomorrow.
no offense, i kinda like where this story's headed, but the grammar makes it really hard to figure out.
i hate sounding mean, especially when I've Favorited this fic, but it's really hard to figure this out.
please don't hate me for that
4144876 the Problem with Grammar is that it can't clearly be pointed at.
spelling is easy, that way.
I'd rather hear it early, if there's the slightest problem.
besides, I suck at hating.
maybe I'm too much of Pinkie Pie for it?
oh yeah, and thus it is Pinkie adopting the girl ..
I read it like a clopfic and it still made sense :/
not sure if that's good or not...
4183144 if the story makes sense, that's always good.
if you can enjoy it as that, I guess that's good for you.
Can't recall putting anything I'd consider clopable, but that's just me?
I've been writing quite a few clopish fics, though, maybe part of it followed through?
I probably should write a few more chapters for this any time soon, too.
just gotta wait for my Muse to follow me there, though.
excellent history
just a question is a magical orphanage???
(well several
)
because human ponies take??
and humans take ponies?????
some special sign is required to enter this orphanage???
greetings ok
I hope I do not bother with these questions
4219902 Thanks.
It's basically the gate that is Magical.
That would be a techniality.
If you see the gat as just another door, it's just one buiilding with one united Orfanage.
or you could see it as two or four separate once.
if you use the gate, you'd only find the Pony
Foals, while the Ponies only find Human Children.
If you don't use the gate, you'd just find children, and they only find foals.
naeh, no problems. so long as you enjoy the story, I'm happy.
I only mentioned a single adoption this far, and just the one way.
I could as easily have chosen any of the options, even if this is one of the more interesting options.
Starting with an Adoption that wasn't using the gate would be sad and boring, considering the Title?
Unlike the Gate in the film, this stay open, but it only admit specific individuals.
just one last question (I swear it's the last
) celestia knows that orphanage 
lol I hope to see pinkie pie as a mother she is funny, cheerful, smiling
but when motherhood requires you be a little more serious as aa respond to that situation
Raising a child is important for happiness, love, joy everything that makes a home warm
but when strongly necessary to discipline as will react pinkie
as his friends would react
this will be interesting
I look forward to the next episode
greetings and good luck
4225568 I guess Celestia is bound to know the Orphanage too.
yeah, Pinkie stands for ll things fun, and laughter.
Thankfully there are a few samples of responsibility to go by, aside from the fact that Commedy is Dead Searious too.
Raising the young is what makes the community happy soon enough.
BTW, isn't there a story where Pinkie adopted the Cake Twins?
right now I'm exploring the mirror aspect of the Orphanage, as it were.
I did after all mention this in the summary, even if the title doesn't mention it, right?
Parents needs children to foster.
Remains to see how the respective characteristics in the story will be belending together, before the story is ompleted ..
the point of view of the human side
wow that clears a little hesitant
4232144 the story is after all about interaction between Ponies and humans, on both sides.
Even if it may be better expressed whose POV it happen to be at any given time?
hope the story still is fun to read.
if the story is developing quite well
plus it's entertaining
I consider myself to have taste of action suspense drama
but life stories of things that happen in the day to day
without villains, disasters, wars are excellent besides that pinkie pie is the adoptive mother
makes this more interesting story
good job
luck
4235257 Thanks ..
Sometimes the simple life can be just as fun to read.
Should be room for more stories like this, but it seems the production focuses on 'Action', nd to a good point, pointless conflcts, just for the cheap effect of it.
Pinkie Pie is good at making life fun.
I enjoy working with her.
You'l see much more of her in my stories, in various situations.
She love all things Laughter, and will go to great length to get ponies happy, even if she goes out on limb and way over-board from time to time ..
Reading the first two paragraphs, I think you are confused as to what a question mark is used for.
Good idea, but hard to read.
4262796 I may be confused about a great many things with Anglic, but I try to write the best stories I could possibly tell.
This may force me to go out on a limb even beyond where Pinkie Pie feels comfortable?
I just hope you enjoy the story, above all else.
It would help the story better structurally if you framed each chapter as a diary or journal entry written by the central character. Maybe include a prologue that explained the background a bit. I think you have a good idea for the story; its just that the writing is inconsistent and lacks a central focus.
4894039 Do you mean it should be in third person, when you menioned the blog/diary entries?
Each chapter is framed on a character. Though I commonly work with first person perspective. I am still exploring and improving my wrihting, which would show if you had read any of my other stories. Not that it is important to understand this story.
Even if very little time is in or around the Orphanage itself, it is a focal point for the story concept.
I am following characters on both sides of the divide.
First a Pony(Pinkie Pie) adopted a human, then a human adopted a pony foal, which is where we are right now.
Would you please elaborate what you said?
a brilliant update
4894530 Thanks.
now I just hope you will enjoy the next, in a week or two, when I choose to publish the update.
This is pretty short indeed, if you make such short chapters, make it better a very long story
4948829 It is a short chapter. Just as it is still a short story. At least, the comming chapters groing longer, hopefully without feeling thinner in substance because of it.
Just curious, how long would you like the chapters?
Hope the story is still enjoyable enough to keep reading.