• Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen July 29th

Ponyess


I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP

E

Strawberry had just told me one of her many wonderful memories, from her book. It apparently included what she referred to; a Magical Creek, and I know how to find it.

Once there I had to ask, just what it could do; since I wanted to find other Ponies just like myself, and just as she had told me; the creek answered my question.

Once I got this far, it opens a portal to a place called Ponyville; deep inside, what was referred to as Equestria; where Ponies were said to reside.

Sweet as Honey.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 18 )

I knew this would come up eventually.
Props, man/girl?
I don't know...

3992924 what would come up?

even if there are refferences to none ponies from her original home, the story is excusively about ponies, which is part of the premise.

I'm curious, have you seen any of the 'Episodes' of 'Strawbery Shortcake'?

I'm not sure how important the part would be, even if there are a few refferences early on.

3993100 What I meant was I figured this crossover would come up eventually. Sorry for any confusion.
I have seen some Strawberry Shortcake, but only the Ice Cream Island ones with my sister.

3997121 ah yeah, that makes sense.
every "Show" is bound to appear here, once 'Cross-Over' was made 'Leagal'.

If you enjoyed it, I'd recomand you see the rest too, there are numerous.
Aside from the pony, and the cuteness of it all,
the uncommonly low level of conflict is something I've enjoyed.
I hope they will produce more episodes.

There should be room for more talking poni crossovers.

a little bit short, but okay so far:twilightsmile:

again, this is short, but good.

i can see why both would find each other odd looking.

i look forward to more or honey's adventures in eqestria:twilightsmile:

4117428 ah yeah, I guess it is short. in what evr way you're measuring?
4117439 better short and good, then long and just long?
Honey is a rather odd pony/horse, in more ways then meets the eye. then again, some of it is where you see the charms.
Yeah, now is time to have her explore this new Adventure.
I just hope it will be just as cun as I had intended it to be when I set out writing the story.

i did enjy this chapter, though some of the things pinkie said seemed a little out of character for her. a bit more thesaurus, than regular pinkie pie.

still, honey's doing good and this chapter has led her to be in ponyville.

Curious. is this set when twi's an alicorn? Cos, if it is, that will definetly take honey by surprise. i'm sure she sorta knows about unicorns and pegasi form tales back in Strawberry Land, but alicorns? That's gonna be a big shocker for her, especially when she learns they're immortal.

next chapter soon please:twilightsmile:

4149331 maybe my impression of her is slitely to a side?
I had the idea these berries are out of season, so they had to pick up on price, and she always know where to make use of something that can be festive, or make some pony happy?
besides, the market is way up for a small time village like Ponyville in the village?

unicorns can be no real problem, since magic is precent where she came from.
pegasi shouldn't be to much of a problem either.

I guess an Imortal Alicorn would still be news.

I still have a few things to decide, left in the story ..

word structure was a little weird in places here and ! got used a bit more than necessary i think.

other than that, enjoyable

4149331 I think I've seen you around, didn't your portrait use to be a stallion?

BTW in regards to Twilight, one of the show-writers said she wasn't immortal.
Well technically I think they said something more along the lines of: "Twilight will not outlive her friends" which could generally mean one a few things:
A). Twilight is going to be killed off (Highly unlikely).
B). All twilights friends are going to become immortal too (more likely, but still improbable)
C). Twilight will have a normal pony lifespan (most probable)
D). due to the conversion of discord to good, natural entropy has failed and ponies can no longer die* (Which would explain why granny smith seems to be getting more spritely as the series progresses).
I think something similar was said about Cadence.

...To be perfectly honest, I don't know why I'm writing this to you, on this story of all places:twilightsheepish:. I'm probably just venting my mounting irritation to the whole Immortal-twilight-angst that seems to be covering this site head to foot, and venting it in a non-aggressive, informative way.

Sorry if this is in some way annoying:twilightsheepish:.

*That might be something fun to write about...

4843287
A Isn't going to happen, and never on screen. no pony ever die on screen, even if there is evidence to hint that ponies did die off scree, like Apple Blooms parents?
B Would work with them now basically being Princesses, even if thy haven't ascended, at least yet.
C Close to it, how ever long that would be?
D There is an interesting idea?

This cross is from a show that is even less 'mean' then MLP.
I chose to write it, as a kind of a challenge on the notion that all characters entering Ponyville hadto be scared andconfused upon entering the village.
Why woulda talking pony who never had a problem with magic be scared or confused?

None-Agression is how we are supposed to be here, right?
Though you could always write a blog on your thoughts on the topic?

4844179 Meh, who would read it? I Haven't even got my first story up yet :derpytongue2:(I Nearly have but I'm waiting for my proofreader).

I chose to write it, as a kind of a challenge on the notion that all characters entering Ponyville hadto be scared andconfused upon entering the village.

Good for you, its always important to challenge peoples conceptions.:pinkiesmile:

4846053 Read it? You would know, once you posted it.
though it may be a more important detail then that. aside from being a place to put up your ideas as "Head Canon", for future refferences. Though a good looking blog will lend credability to your future comments.
I don't know if I would read or like your story before I can see it. Yet, a good story would make you into something more then merely someone who put up comments, wouldn't it.
You do know, Trolls never truely contribute, just put up bad comments.

Tropes do need challenge from time to time. I have more stories on the matter.
On the other hoof, I guess I have stories on most everything or anything you could come up with, and then some. Besides, I am still adding new stories on yet new ideas.

Just gotta love exploring where the next idea will tak you. I have numerous stories on the category as well.

Did you hear of the 'Black and Red Alicorn', it seems to be an interest8ing 'bad trope' on the site and community. Naurally, I realised I had to challenge this trope too, after some consideration and avoiding the Alicorns for a good long while. Why did I need to add another Alicorn, when I had more than enough of them to play around with? As if I didn't have options, like Changlings.

No offence intended here, but this chapter felt ooc. Some do the words used just didn't seem rarity and a little too forced. Pinkie pie also seemed not pinkie here. It's hard to explain, but they just felt off.

Ontop of that, why wer all the talking parts in italic? This chapter just really didn't fit well:ajsleepy:

5094561 If you could point at specific passages and words, I could go over it to see what I could do in order to improve upon the respective scenes and the overall story?

This critique provided via your solicitation to Professional Editorial Reviews. You asked for it.

Everything I said about your other story applies here, except that things are actually happening here. Characters execute actions and show intent. That's an improvement.

Otherwise, same problems.

ponies lives in Strawberry Land

-ponies lived

go some-place new

-someplace does not need a dash, it's a valid word

Now it is a very nice place, ever since.

-Now it's a nice place.
-Ever since, it's been a nice place.
-It's been a nice place ever since. (no comma)

Trotting off... the creek.

-I trotted down the green path, between rows of luscious trees, until finally arriving at the creek.

I could go on.

Think about how the subjects, verbs, and objects of your sentences interrelate. That's the first step toward organizing your ideas into proper paragraphs, chapters, and ultimately weave them together into full narratives.

Best of luck.

:twilightsmile:

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