I had had a bad dream, a nightmare. Only that wasn't the end of it, just as it wasn't the beginning.
I was to have Dream Therapy, and it all started with a massage. They sure made me relax, and it was supposed to draw out the inner demons from the dream, in order for the treatment to continue.
I woke up in the morning, just as intended, and I had changed into what is to pass for a pony. This is where my new life and adventure started out. Apparently, I'm not to leave this form in the manner it had been explained to me.
Chapters (6)
I like what your idea but I feel like too,much is unexplained
4111748 Just curious, is that any particular details you would like to see explained already, or in the near futire in the story?
I am going to post another chapter later this week, unless I forget or loose interest, that is.
The chapter is basically written, so I just need to have a final check before posting it.
Yea, where is he?
Is this a universe where MLP exists?
Why is he where he is?
If he went because of his dreams shouldn't we now about them in the first chapter?
Of course there more but these should help
just some constructive criticism
4111813 I may have to read the entire story again, it has been left in a 'mothbag', for far too long, and I realised it may fit within the site, which apparenly was proven now.
Centre/Clinic was mentiond, not sure how this 'translate' where you live, we name things slightly different, even from an English perspective.
MLP is mentioned, even if it was just films, but in some sense it has to exist for this story to make sense. at least to me.
Now I may need to state where the clinic would be, since I guess that may be of some interest?
I could take a few more questions?
4111897 ok! Let's see...
Why did she yell at him to go to sleep? (Just a humor question.)
What is the "gel" that the woman is putting on him?
Why isn't he scared or surprised of his transformation?
Was he forced to do this or was it on purpose?
Is it a he or she?
Is this lady giving him some kind of DNA twisting drug?
4111942 the words 'told', 'responded', and 'stated' were used, so how is there yelling, mind you?
the gel is the agent that makes the transformation according to the dreams.
your conscious self is the 'character' of the dreem, and this dream is part of the treatment/therapy. It apparently was part of her, she just did not know it before, which is why she needed the therapy.
Not sure, but isn't some similiar therapy used in order to solve issues you can't quite recall where they came from?
The therapy is on perpose, and most of the explanation easily sold her the deal, in part due to her original problem, but also the promised massage as such.
sincew most of my characters are girls/women, or in our case, fillies/mares, it would be safe to asume she was a girl, changed into a filly.
it has not been specified, aside from the massage, nothing else had been applied, but the tests and samples taken.
4112009 I just think too much is unexplained, mabye in the next chapter you can explain past events leading up to this point. But a story like this will need a bigger chapter for that.
4112069 oh, a chapter explaining more of why she came to the centre in the first place?
I guess there may be room for this too, just need to figure out exactly what to fill a chapter with.
4112084 I've done this before, the chapter needs the main character to go throughout the day while reliving the past through a flashback or two.
This plot/story feels very rushed, as does the grammar and wording therein. Slow it all down and I might thumbs up this.
4112093 That's a curious situation, you've done stories like this?
Flashbacks I can do.
I guess just after she woke up may be the best time to pull both flash backs and realisations.
I'm trying to give her something to hold on to, and get a few things out and into the light of day.
4112135 I'll see what I can do to the effect.
pondering if more dialogue qould have helped the story, since it is close to voide of it, by the looks.
4112145 well not really but I know what I'm talking about. I read many story's like that. It's kinda like knowing how to do so thing before your taught.
cause I confuse myself sometimes
Does that make sense
4112195 the first part does.
oh wait, that's kind Pinkiey?
I know how that feels.
4112215 Lolzzz
4112275 I guess most just wright her off, as written in for the laughts?
She may be convenient, saving us the troubles, just by knowing.
Just wait and see, when you're sending invitations to the next 'party for one'?
somehow, it feels as if they actually spoke to her.
no wonder she refused to go, after all the effort she had invested in the party she was holding?
Get your shit together. I'm neutral at this point.
4113397 is there any specifics, or just a general feeling of something 'aMiss'?
this has been and interesting story I look forward to your next chapter. the story being a monologue was a nice touch
4910681 Much of what goes on would be internal, thus the monologue may be the only way to reflect this?
Considering, now I just hope it comes out as intended.
Maybe some would need to read a story like this to see what is actually important to them.
If being a Human isn't working for you, what is left to do?
People are constantly faced with a related question in real life.
How does one answer the question?
4913437 True and to answer your questions 1) only pony would be my guess and 2) one can only answer that by looking in upon oneself and understanding oneself completely
4913450 I added some more of this inner mono-logue.
For the story on the site it is, I guess I have a bit of a problem, making her into anything else then the Pony she turned into.
Others could have made a Griffon or a Dragon out of her?
Knowing yourself is always good and helpful.
though in cases like this, it is esential to critical, since her entire future is hanging in the ballance here.
Asking for help in understanding one's self may help, if you fear you couldn't do it on your own and by yourself.
Once you find out who you are and what you need, it is pointless, not to follow the path you found and fill the gaps you discovered.
The longer you wait, the harder everything will become.
4916949 I agree with those statements plus I like the fact that you made it a point to tell me that she always felt like she was a pony and that the human girl she was wasn't her true self also I like that you made note that she feels lonely with no friends except those who test her on a daily basis. If you want to give her a friend you can use my OC her name is "Clover Dusk" She is a pegasus with tan fur and a mane and tail of green, purple, and red colours
4974847 It is what she was born to be, she merely was born in the wrong body. I think numerous people would recognice themselves in her situation, even if they may have been something other then a fillie?
Some realise this earlier than others, just like some realise more of the truth about themselves than other.
I guess that could be helpful and convenient right about now.
Aside from the obvious, what is she like, or is she just to be a new fillie to, here?
Guess I don't need too exact details on her looks, even if it may be convenient to have a rough idea as to her general style and mark, if she has one at the point of the story?
4986873 first I'll answer your questions about my OC .1) She is also a test subject but a bit older maybe by 3 monthes and a little shy but very smart very lonely a bit confused that she was really a pony to begin with hard to make friends but once she does she is blindly loyal to them and even she may question motives she will go along with them if they are not offensive or hurtful. she would die to protect her friends if the need be as well as protect the friends interest and defend them if they get bullied or help them if they need a shoulder to cry on. 2) her style is that is similar to how fluttershy holds her mane with a pony tail on her tail like applejack and is a blank flank I have no real idea for a cutie mark at this time. But I welcome you to think of one and tell me if you think of one. Or you can give her one that suites her as your story progresses. I trust you with my OC and what and how you plan to use her in your story.
that is true I sometimes feel I was not meant to be who I am now.
4987015 Incidentally was was already about to introduce a friend for 'Lemon Drop', so I hope you enjoy how your OC comes out.
The age difference doesn't seem to be any problem, and if she is shy seems to play well with where I had intended for the actual meeting to take place. Seems to be a good place for Ponies to 'hang out', or so I think.
I tried to express how you said she looks, hope I got it right now.
We'll see, maybe she will devellop a mark within the confines of the story. I just need a good plae and explanation how and why it happened and why it is what it is.
There may be more reasons for that feeling than we commonly recognice. Gender is just the first comming to mind, I guess.
I could have the next chapter pubished sometimes soon, hopefully this week.
4992004 I look forward to how you use my OC in your story I eagerly await the next chapter
4992506 Here goes, hope it makes sense and that you enjoy the chapter.
This was a great chapter and your explanation of my OC was perfect you got everything I would have imagined her to act like and look like down right I eagerly await your next chapter with our characters I look forward to how you plan to develop my OC as your story progresses and how characters friendship grows