• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2016

TwilightFlopple


My name is Foxxy. I'm a multitalent; I like to write and draw too! You can find my art of DeviantArt: http://twilightflopple.deviantart.com

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Source

"My dear Twilight Sparkle,

Thank you for your recent letters. And I must apologize to you first and foremost that I have not responded back in kind to each and every one. I imagine has this concerned you, but please don't worry. Things have been very unsettled here in the castle as of late. Princess Luna has been researching Equestrian history, and I find myself in a strange kind of mood..."

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 65 )

This was a wonderful read; at times funny, at times touching, and always beautiful.

I love your Luna, melancholy yet full of humor; and your Celestia, warm and happy yet with a streak of melancholy of her own. And I'm especially impressed by how strongly their connection as sisters comes through the story. Lovely work!

Poignant and well written. Thanks for this. :twilightsmile:

(the picture seems to be broken though, at least for me)

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, from the humor to the warmth to the melancholy, all of it amazing. I lost myself for an hour in this story, seeing all of it in my head, it was an hour well spent and I loved every minute of it, I thank you for writing this.

This was very good. My headcanon of Luna has always been towards the shy Luna. Regardless, ypur story is exellently written and beautifuly described. I can almost feel the sisterly love through the screen. Keep it up, you have earned a favorite and a moustache:moustache:

I think I have just read something amazing. :pinkiesmile:

Bravo! Fantastic job. I love the "voice" you use in this. It's quiet, sad, and a little wry. It establishes the atmosphere of the story perfectly.:yay:

This was brilliant, so many emotions! Sad yet happy while at the same time excited and shy. I love sisterly fics of Luna and Celestia and this my good sir was one of the best I've read. I hope to be reading more of your stories soon. :rainbowkiss:

Woah. I really enjoyed this. I'm a bit speechless.

Well, I almost drowned in prose, but overall, a great read. Kudos.

Absolutely wonderful! Your writing is always top notch, hope to see more!

1701100
Exactly what he said. I'll add that I was particularly impressed by one tiny little detail about Luna that says so much: that she is always restless and noisy when she sleeps.

Also, the nickname "La Lune" is 100x better than "Lulu" or any other I've come across.

Thank you for the story !
It is warm and peaceful and captivating at the same time. :twilightsmile:

Excellent work as usual! I love the cereal scene you added. Hilarious, with just the right about of stealth heartwarming at the end.

(The real punchline, of course, is that you could probably have published that on its own and it would have shot up to the feature box. :rainbowlaugh:)

An excellent piece. Luna's nickname of La Lune is much better than about any other nickname i've seen her given.

That was sweet:twilightsmile: La Lune is best nickname!

But overall, that may have given me diabetes. Cereal. Cold tea. A scarf. Stacks of books. Wow. You ARE Slice of Life!:raritystarry:

Congratulations on getting EQD'd! It's a deserving piece, full of character and warmth. The last section seems almost out of place, almost too wordy and purple to have been Celestia's internal dialogue, at least compared to the rest of the story. Even so, it deserves a gold star and thumbs up. Good show!

Couple of minor corrections:

Princess Luna is now enacting a front assault on shelf = should be frontal

Luna… sister… even I can’t keep all of this straight. And I lived through it.” = missing opening quote, should be "Luna

Very well written. You used very identifiable speech patterns for the two, and the bond and love they have for one another is very evident. I like the simple day to day nature of this.

:twilightsmile: for a moment i felt myself being in the narration:pinkiehappy:
i could really say i got lost inside the story:rainbowkiss:
i just love it:yay:

Fantastic! The flow of the story is perfect and Royal Sisters' thoughts and emotions make them feel so amazingly alive! :twilightsmile:

Sometimes I wonder why do I even spend my time looking through hundreds of mediocre fanfics... But then I find something beautiful and touching like this story, and all my doubts disappear. :twilightsmile:

2260148 Yes! Consider just this little snippet!

>>>“Everything okay in here, Princess? Um, Princess… - ces?” He appeared very small, poking his head through the heavy-scrolled doors at the far end of the reading room.>>>

Just look at how much you can read into this one little piece of writing given the context, the great Princesses looking down at the little guard pony peeking through the door. You can feel how diminutive they seem to Celestia.

Every single line is woven together like a flawless tapestry, each point of view, every chosen word stirring the cauldron, melting them together into a single, perfected brew.

I have always said, the very best works of fantasy all read like epic poems or prose. When you immerse yourself into them you have the sensation of floating over and through the world within the words, as Samwise Gamgee would put it, "I feel like I'm inside a song, if you follow me."

This was a story that very much deserved to be featured.

That was too lovely! I don't care if it's complete, I'm fave-ing this right now!

Others have said it before me, but the way you made them feel so much like sisters is just heartwarming. 'La Lune' is so entirely something one sibling might playfully call another that I think it might be my official headcanon nickname for Luna from hereon out. Hope that's okay with you :twilightsmile:

Time to see what else you've done...

There are some interesting little nibblets in here that I shall comment on as I re-read them. They give me glimpses of how other humans see the world... and which add to mounting evidence that I am something quite unusual.

>>>In our minds’ eye do we recall places and things as they are seen in the daylight, with all bright and illuminated all at once? No, we remember them how our world looks at night, dimly lit in the dark. >>>

Do people really see the world of their memories that way? In my mind, what things I recall, I see with absolute clarity or not at all. The images in my mind are as absolute as photographs, with most even holding onto the sensations of temperature and sultry moisture, the feel of the sand beneath my slippers, a breath of warm wind on my skin, the touch of a seedling bean stem as I regarded its root growth on an early summer's day 32 years ago, when our backyard was still mostly Pine Barrens sand and only a few tough grasses and little hardy weeds with tiny 4-petaled purple flowers could withstand the summer sun. I was chewing a stick of cinnamon Trident gum, which I had just put into my mouth as I stepped through the thin sheet-metal screen door onto the two stacked cinderblocks we used as temporary steps. There was a the faint hum of our old air conditioner hanging from the den window, its back end held up by two oddly linked chains. And I recall a distant mixture of blue jay and robin calls.

There are many memories like that, so clear and solid they feel more real than even my most vivid dreams. But they are exceptions.

For most other days in my life, there is nothing. No shred of memory remains other than perhaps imprints of novel information gleaned during that time. Of my life there are recorded short moving photographs as if in a scrapbook of the most interesting and impressioned moments. Hmm, the Pensieve in Harry Potter is quite similar to how I see my memories. Many single pieces of scenery and events repeating over and over forever, unchanging; never losing a single detail no matter how much time passes.

If I might add a bit of metaphor to my introspection with this philosophical observation: if people do recall things dimly, as if in the darkness, it is no wonder they so often stumble.

Well, this is absolutely going into my highest-level favorites list. There are very few that make it there. Your's is now among the likes of "The Glass Blower's Tale", "A Sweet Taste of Cake", and "Pirates for a Day/Eternity".

This is a work of pure magic and melody, and I have advised no less than Lauren Faust herself to read it when she can.

I believe you have truly captured the immortal Princesses as they would be. They do not mourn and despair their eternal lives as some would claim, neither are they cold and callous as say others. This, then, is the representative mindset of this form of immortal: that they always remember what came before, and yearn for the lost simplicities and small joys of simply being, but they dwell in the present all the same and bear its burdens. All their days are like a river winding through time, in which they flow by the lands which bear the moments of history, passing them by but always retaining a piece of them, gathering up the sediments of existence until at long last all spill into the Great Sea.

The one great shame is that this story is not one of the most acclaimed on this site. It is certainly the most beautiful I have read here in quite a while.

Absolutely lovely! I usually prefer stories that are more dependent on plot, but this character piece is so well written, intelligent, and believable, that it became an instant favorite of mine!

2263553

Hey there;

Thanks as always for your extensive comments! I carefully placed pretty much every element of the story (including the punctuation). It took about six months to write in this way. So seeing someone - anyone - taking the time to enjoy that care is very rewarding.

To answer your question, I don't remember things as dimly as Luna does. but the point is that that is how Luna sees it, not me. :3

2347379 Interesting, so you've gotten to the point where you can simulate a character's state of mind within your story, even when it completely contrasts your own. You have certainly mastered that, then. Her thoughts feel very natural and unique to her state of mind.

It took me a very long time to learn how to do that, I believe it was primarily due to my instinctual desire for logic (even my dreams are so normal and orderly as to appear scripted in the way they move through a 'story' within themselves). I tended to make my characters all unnaturally clear-headed until I realized I had to find a way to make some of them less intelligent, some overly emotional with lapses in self-control, and some to make errors in judgement due to inherent flaws in their own personalities.

Beautiful. You portray the immensely intelligent and very old beings incredibly well and you show a fantastic look into the two sisters' relationship. Well done, I say, very well done.

The penultimate paragraph chills me, yet I know I would do the same: check on her, walk on eggshells, and wonder if the dark would return.

I imagine this Luna to be the one who features in the second IDW story arc (comics 5-8) which just finished. I also imagine Celestia's declaration that her sister would be Luna, now and forever, to be the final banishing of her own fears. The immediately following morning, Celestia pauses by her sister's door, then walks past, leaving it unopened.

I loved the interactions between the sisters. You really managed to capture their issues without falling into melodrama. The way you used Twilight and Rarity is also very commendable. A great story all in all.

You really have a beautiful writing style. Not only did you convey the emotions of the characters, you made me feel them, as real as any emotions. Bravo sir, and thank you for this wonderful story

Wow.

Okay, I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is perhaps the most beautiful story I have seen on this site. Your narrative voice is excellent, lending the piece a sad, wistful atmosphere.

Celestia and Luna's characters were perfect. Flawlessly executed, and truly alive in their interactions, thoughts, and mannerisms. Twilight and Rarity were non-intrusive, but still only added to the story and were used superbly well.

And that penultimate paragraph... chilling.

This story is something truly special. Thank you.

This is just beautiful.

Your portrayal of the two sisters mind-sets and thoughts are... well... perfect, to say the least. I loved the way this had some funny scenes, but the overall feeling it gave me was a slight pinch of sadness. Good show good sir/madame, good show.

:moustache:

Heh. I caught "Phosphates" in there, which was already something I had planned for one of my stories. Neat!

Slice of Life. Tag. See: "The Celestial Mechanics in Midsummer".

Comment posted by TheArchitect deleted Oct 11th, 2013
Comment posted by omnifire deleted Dec 28th, 2013
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Comment posted by omnifire deleted Jan 22nd, 2014

Mgmt - congratulations
Use this song . listen to it before you reject it

You got a small error in the description:

I imagine has this concerned you

I imagine has this has concerned you

*adds to reading list*:twilightsmile:

This is sublime - it was just such a pleasure to read that when I finished I went right back and read it again.

Good god, this is a gorgeous, graceful piece of art. Your narrative tone here is sublime, and the psychology of your characters is equally impressive. But the diction, the word placement and the sentences each contain, that's what truly brings this to another level.

I believe it was "Celestia stole a marshmallow from my cereal.I let her." The italicized sentence was perfect. You could have gone on for a page and a half (I understand there are no pages here, but my point remains the same), but you've slimmed Luna's care and compassion and love for her sister with three simple words and whole bunch of subtext.

Wonderful work, Flopple.

...I can honestly say that you should be a professional writer. I've read this twice and I still can't work out what I'm feeling or why. I faved this story for a reason; it speaks to me on such a level that although I think I know what it's about and why I feel the way I do, I can't be sure. I love it.

I imagine has this concerned you

A switch is in order perhaps?

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