• Member Since 18th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen June 18th

heliopause



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Darrilon has proudly served Princess Celestia for many years, and risen to the rank of Captain of the elite squad known as the Solarian Patrol. But every day is a new challenge when your superior officer (and divine ruler) has no respect for protocol or procedure.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 135 )

That is a good question, who does a divine Celestia pray to?

Is each chapter a different story/event or such with just showing different times of the day( part of the "adventure", like the first his mornings and arriving, this him greeting and them setting out), or is this all just one setting?

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I'm not quite sure I understand your question. The story takes place all in one day. The chapters roughly correspond to different parts of the day, but there's a little jumping back and forth as Darrilon thinks about previous missions.

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Ok thanks for making it clear, i wanted to know if its all one day or not.

I'm really loving this so far, the characterization of Celestia is very nicely done. I am looking forward to more.

Another amazing chapter! The part with the water art was simply beautiful. I also really like how Celestia has so many plans set up with so many parts in such a cryptic way. She almost reminds me of Makuta Teridax in terms of how good at planning she is except just a little bit better. And maybe less evil and more good.

New chapter is up!

All comments welcome. If you want to make a note on a specific part of the story you can do that on the Google Drive version.

So she is eating away the everfree forest.......:rainbowderp:........weird

Well this is... interesting.
In a couple thousand years the Everfree will be no more.

And we are left wondering if Celestia knows about Darrilon's plight and if yes why she doesn't squash his fears. Im sure she does not mean to replace the only pony she trained to not treat her like a priceless object... all the time. :rainbowwild:

I really want to see Luna's reaction to Darrilon spreading rumors that she turned a pony insto spiders. That should be hilarious.

Also, the socks thing was truly something.

Now I want to see Braeburn give Celestia a tour of Appleoosa

Yeah, I had a feeling that the spider idea wasn't going to go over very well.

Oh dear. This is going to snowball, isn't it?

Are you sad because there's no new pony? Will a new fanfic chapter cheer you up?

So he thrilled to see Whitewater raise herself up, face her own rampaging creation, and unfurl her wings.

you're missing a was between he and thrilled

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That's intentional. I'm using "to thrill" as an active, intransitive verb. It's sort of like "to cheer" except it's silent.

I realize it's not exactly a common syntax, but I think it works here.

Here is the final chapter. It's been a long day for this poor guard pony.

One small request. There's a puzzle posed in this chapter. When you get to that point, stop a bit and see if you can figure it out before continuing on for the answer.

And no spoilers in the comments, please!

:rainbowlaugh: Oh Celestia, you wonderful chessmaster.

Had no clue on the puzzle.

Hey this was very nice. :twilightsmile: Liked its simplicity, it must have been complicated to put it together. Great OC and Loved your impression of Celestia.:trollestia:

That was great. Celestia always has everything planned out. And in the end, she always has her subject's best interests in mind. Bravo on an excellent story. :pinkiehappy:

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I really dont know how other people do it but i read the chapter and then the comments, especially since comments that are actual reviews contains spoilers , and you never know when a story will have one of those even if they are rare. :rainbowwild:

Though the first chapter seemed to repeat how the Princess couldn't be explained by straight forward questions and how she weaved such intricate plans almost too much, by the end it all made sense why that had been so stressed. I loved this story. Darrilon was interesting to me, and such a view of the Princess was...awesome. The humor was excellent, too. I look forward to more from you.

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The EqD pre-reader agreed with you, so I'm working on a re-write that cuts a lot out of the first chapter.

PHR

It's sad how few views this little gem has. Fantastic work.
farm4.static.flickr.com/3287/2782415909_e6f47bd486_o.gif

Very nice work. The review that I had pledged for you in The Training Grounds, I have now posted here, on my blog.

Welcome, Equestria Daily!

This is my third fanfic on EQD. All comments are welcome, of course, and if you'd like to make notes on specific parts of the story you can do so in the Google Docs version here. If you're reading this while the story is on the EQD front page, the Google Doc might be locked with the traffic.

I love this portrait of Celestia. She's wonderfully strange and beautiful at the same time, and you've done a masterful job of painting her in subtle complexity.

That was a quite enjoyable story and setup.

One slightly unrelated question, do you have an unpublished chapter? When I added this to my bookmarks the site claims I have something unread.

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There is a deleted chapter—the story used to be six chapters, and in this version I cut it down to five. Maybe there's some bug in how FimFiction handles deleted chapters?

Absolutely brilliant work. The dialogues between and Darrilon and Celestia were magnificent, and the Princess' setup was a masterpiece of a mindwork, the one that only a very, very skilled politician can perform. It made me laugh, worry and ponder what else she has up her sleeve at the same time.
There was only one other work of fiction in which I have seen such a great duo of a guradian and ruler, and which gave me so much pleasure to read - that was Lord Vetinari and Captain VImes from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels (though the nature of their relationship was different... though not that much). It was a great, great fun to read.

Wow. I still remember when Easy Come, Caprese Go got published on EqD. It was wonderful getting to read something by you again, and it feels like you've improved so much since last time!

I'm always jealous of people who can craft these kinds of closed stories -- a term I just made up for a narrative without accidents or loose ends. Revealing that Celestia does indeed pray to others, or how she goes about expanding the empire... never mind what she sets up for Darillon in the end. As much fun as it is to leave things unsaid for the reader to decide upon, watching all the tiny seeds you sowed in the opening chapters bear fruit was incredibly satisfying to read. It's amazing how well this story works in a world where Shining Armor exists, almost as if I was reading something from my early days in the fandom when we had a lot more questions to answer about Equestria.

Took a quick dive into my email archive, and I knew you were familiar! Easy Come got the pass from two pre-readers, and I was lucky enough to have been one of them. Thank you for writing this story.

Hahaha! Celestia eats the Everfree!

I love how your portrayal of Celestia is so mysterious and fun-loving but also completely and ultimately harmonious with the world and everypony in it.

This was absolutely brilliant. Thank you for writing.

Question, who considers this to be a trollestia story?

I had wondered what you replaced the Cart Incident with. This way is much better!

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Thanks! If you read closely through the story you should pick up on a couple other places where I was able to incorporate your suggestions.

While I'm here, I'd like to thank everyone else who helped by reading earlier drafts and giving feedback: AlicornPriest, Spycam1243, Prereader XF, and Demetrius. Also thanks to CaramelBrulee for the art.

"My Little Ponies, only rarely have I seen such power and potential in any pony. With your permission, I would like to invite your daughter, Whitewater, to study at my School for Gifted Ponies..."

"With great power comes great responsibility, Whitewater... Responsibility to learn control and ensure that nopony is ever hurt by what you can do... Unless it is to protect the innocent or to defy those of ill-intent..."

"Hello Whitewater, I'm Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Ponies... and to the X-Ponies!" :raritywink:

A great story. After thousands of years of rule, she has wisdom enough to know when she needs to interfere and when it is not necessary. Most times, she consider it best to let her Little Ponies figure it out for themselves for that way it will be all the more valuable to them.

This was a WONDERFUL tale. :twilightsmile:
I'm glad that I found this tale! It's... such a simple tale and yet that's part of its charm. I also love how Celestia set him up on a date. :twilightsheepish:

Again a wonderful tale. ^.^

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Double Celestia, of course. :trollestia:

Well played. I love stories with Chessmaster Celestia.

hahah I love the simplicity of this story, because at its core the plot is just Celestia being a wingmare to Dar. Everything else is there to toy with us and I consider that the icing on this great characterization cake.

Hahaha! Perfict repesentation of Celestia :trollestia: lol

a3V

I enjoyed this story very much!

However, fimfiction keeps telling me there's an update on this story when there really isn't. Do you have an unpublished chapter, heliopause?

It's nice seeing someone who remembers that you don't keep saying "Your Majesty/Your Highness/etc.".

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No, there's no unpublished chapters, and I haven't changed anything since it went up on EqD. But you're the second person to say that. I'll ask the FimFiction mods if they can see anything.

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