• Member Since 3rd Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 20th, 2016

Radon18


T
Source

A young man trapped alone in an alien land with only his wits and his faith as company. Can he keep the darkness growing in the crumbling remains of his former home from causing disaster?

And who the heck decided it would be a good idea to throw in talking, pastel, ponies!?

Dark tag added for later chapters.
Light horror/gore

(This fiction is not an attempt to push any religious beliefs.)
(Please do not post comments pertaining to religion, unless it is a question/comment about the story itself.)

Chapters (26)
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Comments ( 798 )

Pretty ballsy posting a fic including religion on a fanfic site.

Will read this when I'm not about to fall asleep on my keyboard. Until then, good luck! :rainbowdetermined2:

Finally. I've been meaning to read a story like this whenever I could I find it for the MLP universe. Time to give it a read!

1642804
Agreed on both accounts, will be reading tomorrow brave sir but for now I gotta crawl under my covers.

god this has so much potential, I'm loving how you are progressing the story and I can't wait for more.

Thanks a lot guys, it feels really good to finally have the ball rolling on this. Yes it is ballsy but i think that if there is any community who is mature enough to handle something like this its the brony community. :ajsmug:

Hopefully i wont get too bogged down in the wordy mess my writing normally becomes and i can have a chapter 2 ready for you guys next week. I had a chapter 2 pretty much written but i had to cannibalize the Celestia scene from it to meet the required level of pony to pass moderation. :facehoof:

Reasons I favorited this story:

1. Jesus is a boss.
2. I'm a sucker for anything post-apocalyptic
3. You just combined ponies with said apocalypse.
4. Very well-written for a first story.

I will give 4/5 :moustache:'s to start. :twilightsmile:

Religion in a story? I know what you mean, my story hasn't hit that point but it will and I can sympathize. The writing felt unique and the premise was well done. You took a more logical step than others, send the military and not a group of legendary ponies that don't know what they're doing. Great job through and through.
-Sturrn

...Proceed.
(Side note: I has great faith in this story.)

I haven't read your story just yet, but I have skimmed through it. From what I can tell, this is more of a morality question than a religious one. If someone can please tell me a more detailed summary on what happened in the story:twilightsmile:. Because I don't want to read a story where Jesus comes down from the heavens and start ripping of pony heads and start baptizing Celestia and Luna with rancid pony blood:facehoof:.( I'm sure someone has tried to write something like that.)

well, that was surprisingly good, you are building it very well i think. Keep up the good work.

and MOAR please

This is going to be interesting. One question: While the man is obviously Christian, which denomination of Christian is he? Based on the references and his behaviors, I'm guessing that he is a Catholic, perhaps of a monastic order. I'm sure this will be answered in chapters to come, but it still is something to be considered. Whatever faith he is, I'm looking forward to the clash of his personal beliefs and morals with the realities that face him in Equestria. You have my attention. Keep it up.

So far I like what I'm reading. I think there's nothing wrong in showing ones faith in stories as long as its clean, well written, and doesn't say "Hey, I'm going to convert you wether you like it or not." I don't see that in this story though. It looks clean, well written and is about a guy trying to survive a strange situation.

this story........................MOOOOORRRREEE

THIS IS AWESOME!

Jesus's awesomeness cannot be expressed in anyway.

This is very, very well written.

So much potential.

In other words, I'm hooked.

The funny thing about all of this is that i actully thought about writing a fic where a priest turns up in Equestria, but this fic is SO much more promesing than anything i could think up.

Keep up the great work!

1643180
Ill go ahead and tell you that there will be no 'Jesus smash' moments in this story. This is a story about a man's faith and how it affects him in a outrageous situation. There wont be any miracles called down from heaven to help our poor protagonist, sorry to anyone who might have been looking forward to that. :twilightblush:

Also thanks to everyone who has liked, favorited, watched, or commented so far, your praise makes me really glad i decided to post this and not let it die shriveled in a corner like all my other fic ideas. :ajsmug:

I liked it, actually. I usually dislike religion in pony fics, but this is actually well done without any heavy handed moralistic things like SOME Xtian authors on this site tend to do.

Wonderful! Certainly the type of story I love to read and enjoy! :pinkiesmile:
As long as you keep it this way, I don't think there will be many problems! Just kinda sad that you already got some downers... Brony community preaches about how much everypony else needs to love and tolerate blah blah blah, but a few don't put to practice what we demand of others :facehoof: Gotta be positive :pinkiehappy:

Keep it up fellow college student :moustache:

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE

1644029

This is what I'm hoping to see. I'm not really religious myself, but the interaction between the Christian and er, Celestial(?) faiths is bound to be interesting however you look at it.

And If you're still looking, I'm happy to offer my meagre abilities as a proofreader :)

Good luck with this, it's a unique, challenging concept, handled well so far. Keep it up!

Fascinating start. We got some foreshadowing with the dark energies coming from the city and I'm also looking forward to the protagonist meeting Princess Celestia.

"Jesus? Yeah, I know him. We play chess every now and then. Why do you ask?"

Ok so far seems good, of course religion is like gasoline, really useful but really dangerous too. How ever thus far it's not really an issue. As to the story itself, quite interesting. I look forward to seeing how the protagonist handles a entirely different world with a much different intelligent species. I agree it's nice to see Celestia using her military to handle things, though in her defense she's only used the Elements to solve problems 3 times (the dragon was specifically a request for Twilight) and those where problems the Elements where the correct choice for. Lastly yea I don't think divine intervention is appropriate and usually is a sign of bad story telling, and frankly a "this is to convert you" story is never fun.

This story definitely has potential. The way everything was set up without giving too much away is perfect for setting the air of mystery hanging around everything that has happened to the main character. I look forward to seeing where you take this.

Aspicio, diluculo Infinitas Noctis.
Shadow Horizons

Lol a bible thumper fic... Never thought I would see the day.

Enjoying the fic so far. Good characters and set up, despite some minor grammar mistakes.

Four of five mustaches!
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

If you're still looking for someone to proofread, I'm available.

:pinkiehappy: I love this already, from the bare concept of the story to everything you've read so far! I would definitely be keen to proofread, if you still need it to be done.

i think that if there is any community who is mature enough to handle something like this its the brony community. :ajsmug:

community who is mature enough

Community. Mature.

:rainbowlaugh:

Will read later

i had mixed feelings about this at first since it included a priest and possibly some religion:applejackunsure:

Now i see that this fic definitely has potential for awesome. :pinkiehappy:

Love the post apocalyptic priest. This will definitely be interesting to see

Apart from the obvious point about needing a beta reading this is quite good so far. I am a little worried that that "dark magic" comment will mean that by the ending Christianity will be completely snuffed out. :pinkiesad2: Perhaps I'm just being paranoid after hearing so many bad things from that certain part of the fandom whose name brings firestorms though, so I think I'll keep an eye on this.

One thing to bring up early though is the subject of "conversion." Which is to say that, going by the title and the nature of the main character's profession, it's inevitable that a number of being native to Equetria will become Christians. When that does happen I implore you to go about it logically, and tactfully. In fact, that's my advice for this story in a nutshell: be tactful. There's no way in God's great finite universe that you'll be able to please every one, but if you have respect for what you're writing about you at least won't piss off the blokes who are featured in the story.

Okay. That look intresting, and original, and I really want some more. So yeah, do go on

As interesting as this idea sounds, I can't help but feel like you're going to make Celestia OP as fuck, which is kind of a killer for me. You've got my attention for now.

Not half bad, the psych is a bit okay. Would have expected a bit more fear and paranoia given he knows the local predators are dangerous.

The fact he is alone, yet didn't go for the gun is a bit strange, but I know how pacifistic some Christians can be...though the fact he works and tends to his fields unarmed, says a a lot.

He is confident enough that his razor wire can keep out most threats and he feels that safety is close at hand, or he can't bring himself to care too much...or it could be that I'm reading to into it.

I must admit, I never thought such a story could work in the FiMFiction community, but from the looks of it with the reviews, you're managing to write this rather well and tactfully (I'm Christian, but I'd never have the stomach to try to infuse hardly anything of my faith into a story on this site, let alone drop a missionary right in the middle of Equestria in the midst of the most taxing and harrowing time of anyone's life.)

Upon sending this preliminary comment, I will begin reading this story. I hold little doubt that I will enjoy what you have, thus far.

God Bless, and happy writing. :)

This's a good start to what could be a really good fic. Here's hoping.

Ok. You have my interest. Continue, as the potential for this tale is immense.

1643409 You might have noticed the little detail that he (our protagonist) hadn't actually read the Bible or really been religious before his entire town was suddenly thrown through space and time to land in Equestria. More than likely he doesn't give a crap about denominations or the difference between Catholics or Protestants or anything like that. And honestly, for the sake of keeping the fic as appetizing as possible for as wide an audience as possible, he probably won't be worried about it anytime soon.

Interesting story and quite a good new way to open post apocalypse world and mix it with ponies and it don't clash so much. you even could made it so balanced neither site it too strong right now, so i will Fav it and see how it is gonna be. Beside Murphy always watch for you.

You earned yourself a watch, my good sir. Jolly good show!

... and this is coming from an Atheist.

So far this is a pretty good story. Kinda funny and disappointing that once religion was mentioned in the description, a lot of people go ra ra. I'm a christian and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter. Not just because you are one of the few people brave enough to incorporate religion to the story, but because it seems to have been done very well. In the sense that your main character doesn't seem like a raving religious zealot and the story is well written. It also helps that you clarified in one of you comments that there will be no deus ex machina where God bestows the main character with some miracle or whatever stu-ish characteristics.

Although a God blessed Scootaloo would be funny. :scootangel:
There's even a emoticon for that. Nice!

Dang... I can't wait for the next chapter. Neat to see that they can't understand each other. Most HiE's have everyone speaking the same language. Be interesting to see how it plays out.

well, its good for seeing they dont speak the same language so it shall be interesting.
now,next chapter please? OR I SHALL DO THIS TO YOU AND THE CHARACTER AND THE WONDERBOLTS
http://racoonkun.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-s-killing-Pinkies-338568161just copy and paste it because it wont work and yes i tryed.

Update faster.

Faster.

FASTER!!!

Woo boy...

Well you got guts I'll give you that. Religion and the internet tend to explode when mixed.

Still, despite your description, so far there hasn't been too much religion in this. Yeah the human lives in the church and tries to live his life as a good Christian, but from the way you described it I was expecting heavy thought and exploration of faith and religion. Maybe that's coming later but right now I can't really see anything that should really offend anyone but the most petulant and petty.

Other than that, so far it seems like a fairly standard HiE fic with a little bit of religious seasoning thrown on top. I like the different languages and a whole human town getting thrown in, but once again it winds up in the Everfree. By this point, the citizens of Ponyville must be used to all these humans wandering out of the forest.

Overall, a decent start. You have some good ideas and I'm interested to see where you take this.

. . . He didn't. He didn't!

Besides, it’s just a recon mission, what could possibly go wrong?

He did.

Congratulations Spitfire! You uttered the forbidden words of Fiction!

I keep reading this in father Gregori's voice, and I have no idea why. Huh.

Is that Satan coming into Equestria at the end there? :rainbowhuh: Yes, or no. It was really unclear.

1671503 PSST...that would be giving you spoilers...:eeyup:

1671379
The perceived lack of religion is simply because this is not a story about religion in Equestria, this is a story about a religious man in Equestria.
The warnings in the description was just to let people know that i wouldn't tolerate a religious debate taking over my comments section and to leave their prejudices at the door.
And the Everfree was actually chosen for a reason that is directly tied to the plot of the story and not because it is a convenient place away from ponies.
AKA if i had chosen any other place in Equestria and not the Everfree something in the story would not work.

1671503
MUAH HA HA HA HA.......Nope, its not Satan, although i am rather proud of my design doc for this antagonist and im wondering if im going to be needing the dark tag.

1671458
"What is this, another life to save? Ill keep my eye on you, more than this i cannot promise." :ajsmug:

1671373 1671362
Im going as fast as i can!

1671309
That's one of the things that always bugged me about a lot of HiE fics. A race of sapient ponies are not going to speak English. :ajbemused:

1671271
Yep im going to be doing my best to keep away the Stu-herpies. And thanks for calling me brave. I don't really think i am but its still nice to hear someone say it.

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