• Published 19th Nov 2012
  • 6,949 Views, 791 Comments

The Missionary - Radon18

Follow a man, surviving in equestria with nothing but his wits and his faith, oh and his own town.

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Chapter13: Spy movies, Lasers, and Lingerie

Chapter 13

“Words in a foreign language.”
“Quoting in thought”

The dull sound of slowly turning pages was the only thing breaking the silence of the suddenly vacated carousel boutique. I had only been sitting there for about ten minutes or so, absently scratching behind the ears of Rarity’s cat. I'm embarrassed to admit it took me so long to realize my captors had left me alone, in an easily escapable room, with a single guard. ‘Have they never seen a spy movie?’ I closed the Bible in my lap with a snap and had to persuade (poke) the cat to climb off of me.

I very carefully crept to my feet and took a good hard look around. The white one, Rarity, had said this was her ‘boutique,’ and it really fit the term perfectly. All around the shop there were half-finished dresses and spools of cloth that you’d expect to find in a high-end tailor’s workshop. I took a moment to take stock of any potential supplies that I might be able to use among the fabrics and knitting materials.

I took a large square of surprisingly hearty, white fabric and cut a large hole out of the center. I didn’t have time to sew up the sides to make a shirt, so I just draped it over my shoulders like a poncho before adding a few quick stitches to the sides so it didn’t billow out behind me. ‘Not much but it will have to do.’ I thought as I tore another strip off of the roll and tied the ends together to use it as a makeshift bag. After that was done I quickly wrapped my feet in more of the same fabric, if I was going to move as fast as I planned I couldn’t be worrying about cut up feet. For the first time since I drove into this God-forsaken town I had a plan in my head that would ensure that I would be free of this place. I just had to take out the Jerk who was still guarding the door, assuming of course that I didn’t mobbed by any more guards on my way out of town.

‘Yeah this is going to work. Now I just need some food; that forest didn’t look like any place I’d like to have a picnic, but better safe than sorry.’ I thought as I finished up the knots on my foot wrappings.

I slowly walked into the kitchen and filled the makeshift bag with some fruit and a few other simple things Rarity kept in her fridge and cabinets. It was actually pretty difficult to find anything that looked edible since most of the food had hay as an ingredient…

‘Well they are horses, I guess.’ I thought as I chucked some hay-bread back into the pantry.

With my bag full, I made my way back to the main room. It was time to figure out the most unpleasant portion of the plan. The room was filled with various bits of furniture and fabric rolls but sadly was lacking in anything that could conveniently be used as a club. The weird pony mannequins caught my eye; they were made to look like the little horses but they were each suspended off the ground by a metal pole attached to a weighted base.

‘Ok, weird, but I can use this.’ I thought as I gathered up some more fabric to muffle the sound of me trying to force one of the mannequins off of its stand.

I pulled and yanked, cursing the ponies for keeping me locked up so long, for feeding me such crummy prison gruel, and for letting my muscles that I had been building for the past two months deteriorate so much. Everything was harder to do now, took longer to do now. I hadn’t even managed the walk from the library to the boutique without breaking a sweat.

Finally, with a last sharp tug the pole snapped off. To my surprise the pole was actually wood covered in an almost tin foil-esk layer of metal plate. The wood had dried and aged beneath the foil. As the wood dried, a crack had formed just beneath the mannequin at a steep angle, creating a sharp point on the longer half of the pole. The foil and friction had been the only things keeping the mannequin from tumbling over.

The pole itself ended in the weighted stand on one end, which had supported the mannequin, while the point where the wood had given way ended in a nasty tapered point of wood and torn foil. I figured that if the weighted end of the pole didn’t do the job in knocking the Jerk at the door out, then the sharp end would at least make a pretty decent spear.

The mental image of the Jerk’s neck impaled on the wooden pike was enough to make me gag. How could I have gotten so callous in such a short amount of time? They had been terrible to me, of course, but darn it, they were still people. I’d been aware of that even as they had broken into my church. I couldn’t just kill them. It would almost be better, I thought, to die running than to become a murderer. And if I did die? Maybe I would get to see my family again...

I shook the thought out of my head, hefted the weighted, wooden stand and took my place next to the door. This was not the time or the place to be dredging that up again, I had to focus. ‘Please God, if you can still hear me, let my plan work, I don’t want to hurt any of these ponies more than I have to.’ I uttered a quick prayer, hoping for a little divine intervention (and more than a little luck).

I took a few deep breaths, with any luck I could do this without the Jerk even realizing what was going on. I put a hand on the fabric rack next to me and tensed myself for what was about to happen.

‘Here we go!’


Soarin sat idly next to the door to carousel boutique. ‘This assignment is so bogus.’ He thought. He knew that it was a punishment from the princess for not following orders and that he was probably lucky to get off as light as he had, but having to guard the alien was a serious hassle. The creature was annoying, ugly, a picky eater, and overly fragile. He considered himself lucky the creature’s well being was being taken care of by the Elements of Harmony; he didn’t think he could really handle being around the thing more than he already had to be.

Soarin paused in his thoughts to return a friendly gesture from a mare passing by on the other side of the street. Ponyville certainly had that small town feel about it, even after the garrison was moved in to help with the Changeling panic.

Speaking of the Elements… Soarin was not known for being a patient stallion, heck, living fast had been half the reason he ended up in the Wonderbolts to start with, but the pestering of a certain rainbow mare had him cringing every time he thought about her. He had met Rainbow Dash at the Gala last year and she had seemed alright then, if just a little clingy, she had even saved his pie! Now that he had to spend significant amounts of time in the same town she lived in, he just couldn’t get away from her quick enough. She was always trying to show off or suck-up to him, it was really starting to grate his nerves. Soarin was used to having fans, he was even used to having crazy fans, it really didn’t bother him that much and was even a little flattering but that mare took it to a whole different level. At least she had a nice flank…



Soarin’s less than wholesome thoughts about the Element of Loyalty were interrupted as a loud crash and a shout shattered the morning’s peace.

‘Oh, I am so going to get it if that stupid thing hurt himself.’ Soaring thought as he rushed through the door to the dress shop. He burst into the main room and looked around, only to find the place empty. The only sign of any kind of trouble was an overturned fabric rack over by the-


Wow his head hurt all of a sudden… You know that Rarity mare really did have a flair for interior design, this place looked amazing! It must be the stars, yeah the stars sure are pretty.


Soarin fell to the floor of the shop like a heap of rubber. He barely even registered the face of the alien he was assigned to guard looming over him as he lost consciousness.


Celestia, Twilight, and the other Elements of Harmony stood in a semicircle in front of Applejack’s barn. The garrison had been called as soon as Applejack had made it to town and the site of the ‘trouble’ she had called them for had turned more than a few stomachs. The pig pen behind the barn was awash in blood. The pigs that had been kept there had been reduced to little more than bones, and even some of those were missing. Applejack looked understandably grave while the rest of the Elements looked nervous or frightened. Pinkie Pie in particular looked even worse than she did after the incident with Chris the day before. Celestia wore her mask as she usually did, the only sign that she was upset was a slight, uncharacteristic frown.

“Your highness!” A voice called to her. Commander Spitfire had been one of the first at the scene and had immediately taken to searching the nearby orchard and forest for any sign of what had attacked the Apple family’s farm.

“Yes Commander? What have you discovered?” Celestia calmly questioned, the slight wavering in her voice, undetectable by most. Twilight looking at her with concern, even though the purple mare was shaking like a leaf herself.

The Commander trotted over and sat in the snow in front of the gathered elements to give her report. “No sign of anything substantial, whatever did this is long gone. We did find some tracks in the mud near the pen but, they’re strange.”

“The tracks are don’t belong to any animals I’ve seen, and what’s even stranger is that whatever made them barely weighed a thing when it was moving toward the pen. The tracks leading to the pen are almost invisible, even in the mud and snow, but when they lead away they sink deep into the dirt, like whatever made them suddenly tripled in weight.” Spitfire’s eyes flicked to the rear of the barn uncomfortably to where her long time teammate, Fleetfoot, was coming around the corner with a few glass sample tubes held in her mouth. “There are several extra sets of tracks as well but they don’t look like any pig track I’ve ever seen. The strangest thing of all is that the tracks moving away from the pen are... it’s kind of hard to explain. It looks sort of like the snow the creature stepped in went through the it’s foot.” There was an awkward silence before Spitfire realized that the ponies around her, minus Celestia, were looking on in obvious confusion. Her ears folded back in minor embarrassment as she began to elaborate. “Imagine large bird tracks, but really deep and the snow passes between all the toe joints.”

Celestia narrowed her eyes, this was strange news. Had this been caused by the strange presence in the Forest? Had she made a mistake? Was there some monster that had arisen because of her hesitance to act? Her thoughts were interrupted when she realized that Commander Spitfire and the Elements were looking at her, expecting her to say something… ‘to know what to do.’ “Thank you Commander, please expand your search into the forest, observation is the goal. I want to know what we are dealing with. Engage only if escape is impossible.”

“Right away, your highness.” Spitfire said before giving the princess a smart salute and taking to the air, speeding off in an orange bolt to spread her orders to the rest of the task force searching Sweet Apple Orchards.

“Alright! Finally, we can get some payback!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she sped after Spitfire, leaving Celestia and the rest of the Elements behind.

“Aw pony feathers. RD GET YOUR FLANK BACK HERE!” Applejack shouted after the cyan mare.

“Don’t worry Applejack, I'm sure the commander won’t let Rainbow Dash do anything too dangerous.” Twilight said in a slightly shaky voice.

“Twi… it’s Rainbow were talking about here.” Applejack responded with a flat look.

Twilight’s ears folded downward. “Good point.”

A commotion startled the group. In the distance, beyond the edge of the orchard they heard their friend Rainbow Dash shouting and could see her prismatic trail repeatedly dive bombing something below the snow covered tree line.

“Goodness gracious. Well, if there is one thing about Rainbow Dash we should know by now, it is that the mare works quickly.” Rarity tittered, trying to cover up her own shaken nerves.

Fluttershy and Pinkie had been quiet through the whole ordeal, they both looked pretty shaken up. Celestia held out a hoof to stop the group before they could go see what Rainbow Dash had found. “Why don’t you take Pinkie Pie home Fluttershy? I'm sure you two could use a break from all of this.” she said gently. Fluttershy nodded, still not able to convey information in any way beyond nervous shaking, she steered the deflated Pinkie Pie back down the road, in the opposite direction of the commotion Rainbow Dash was causing.

As much as Celestia hated breaking up the Elements, they were ponies first. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie needed a break.

The alabaster diarch motioned for the rest of the group to continue and they carefully made their way through the orchard.


(Half an hour earlier)

Chris quietly slipped out the back window of the Carousel Boutique. The ground outside was cold enough so that he felt it through his foot wraps almost as soon as he lowered his feet onto the stiff, brown grass. He shivered in the chilled winter air before slowly scanning his surroundings, hoping no one had seen his escape. To Chris’ relief, no one called attention to him and so he immediately dashed across the street and away from the boutique, kicking up dead grass and clumps of wet snow as he ran. Chris did not slow down until he had sprinted several yards into the nearest alleyway, already he was breathing heavily, great plumes of fog flew from his mouth with every labored breath. “It’s like I haven’t slept in ages...” he mumbled to himself between gasps.

Chris made his way down the alley, gusts of cold wind occasionally cutting him to the bone despite the coat of white fabric that he had ‘appropriated’. He thought back to his guard; he had left the Jerk tied up and gagged, hanging from one of Rarity’s dress racks. The mental image made Chris chuckle, even in the face of his less than stellar circumstances. The Jerk who had started this entire mess deserved nothing less. Still... he hoped that he hadn't seriously injured the pegasus. The splitting headache and embarrassment of being tied up in what Chris thought might have been the ponies’ equivalent to lingerie would be more than enough payback.

The walk down the alley was over almost before he knew it. As the narrow confines of the alley fell away, he found himself staring at a short stretch of snow covered grassland that terminated in a white picket fence and a wall of apple trees. Chris remembered the apple orchard he had seen the fateful day he had driven out of the dark forest all those weeks ago. The orange pony, Applejack, he recalled, had said that there was “trouble at the farm.” The apple orchard in front of him was the only thing he had seen that might translate to “farm” so it was an easy decision to turn and walk down the fence line until he could avoid the rows of apple trees altogether.


She didn’t know why she had stayed, it had been a stupid decision. Had it been because she had felt John coming closer just before she turned to flee back into the forest? The half formed shape of her body continued to sprint for the cover of the trees. The annoying flying pest of a pony that was attacking her had been shaking in fear only moments before at the mere sight of her unfinished masterpiece. Its purpose was not meant to cause fear, but the side effect of its half finished state had given her enough of a head start to get it back into the woods before the flying pest could damage it. Only she had miscalculated the speed of the creature and was being forced to hurl her masterpiece into the frozen dirt again and again to prevent any damage. Ugh… she hated dirt.

She dived to the side again before picking herself up and running for the tree line. She was almost unnaturally fast on foot but she could still be spotted easily enough in the snowy grassland. The new pieces of her masterpiece bounced around with the motion of her running; they had not been fully attached when she was discovered and so she had been forced to cradle them in her arms to prevent any of them from becoming lost.

She could feel John getting so very close now. It was a shame that she couldn’t stop to collect him without being forced into a confrontation she didn’t believe she was prepared for. The memories surfaced again, depicting the six mares that caused the downfall of her earlier meal. At least now they were telling her something useful. She rolled into the tree line, dodging another attack from the flying pony she had recognized from the visions. The memories were right, those six were dangerous. Suddenly her senses were filled with the quiet forest. She could still feel John, only a few hundred feet behind her. She had to wrestle with her instinct to get him. Her unfinished form would only scare him like it did the pest. No, he could not see it. He would come to her in time anyway, after her masterpiece was finished…


I crept towards the forest, suddenly very thankful for my forethought in making sure my clothes had been predominantly white. Something had riled up the guards I had spotted and had made my journey a hundred times more difficult than I had hoped, and I was pretty sure that my white clothes had been the only thing keeping me from sticking out like a sore thumb in the tall grass, especially when it came to the flying ponies.

The rainbow haired one was dive bombing something near the edge of the forest while the other guards were combing the area by the air and ground, so while I had to take pains to keep hidden I could not have slowed down or else one of the land bound guards might have tripped right over me. I also had to keep constant tabs on the cyan rocket so I could make sure I wasn’t heading in her direction as I crept towards the forest.

I was almost to the edge of the forest when I looked up to check on the rainbow pony again. Apparently, whatever she had been chasing had gone too far into the forest for her liking; she had pulled up and started tracing circles in the air like a massive bird of prey... with hooves. ‘Heh.’ Considering the situation, I figured that she was either looking for her prey or possibly even a new target.

I couldn’t have been more than a few hundred feet from the edge of the forest now and the immediacy of my escape was sending lightning bolts through my nerves. I had to fight the urge to just stand up and make a run for it as I knew I would be set upon by the rainbow menace before I even managed a couple yards, let alone the sprint all the way to the forest canopy.

I froze instinctively as an armored guard passed only inches from my hiding place. Only the tall, snow covered grass saved me from discovery. After a few tense moments of waiting for him to pass I was able to slowly creep towards the woods again. Freedom was so close I could practically taste it.

My heart stopped when I looked up to see that the rainbow pony had stopped running in circles and was now simply hovering in place, quite obviously looking in my direction. I assumed that she had spotted the trail I had formed where I had knocked the snow off of the grass as I crawled along, leaving a tan streak in the stark whiteness of the snow. It was only a matter of seconds until she saw me.

I slowly rose into a racer’s position. Admittedly, I was already tired from the cold and having to crawl most of the way through the orchard, but I was going to at least give it my best shot. Like a coiled spring, I launched to my feet and hurled myself in the direction of the forest...

...and promptly became bogged down by the snow.

I was forced to move in a way that was more like hopping than running so I could make my way through the snow-clogged grass fields. I heard shouts behind me and I knew that I had been seen. I realized that I only had a few moments before I would have to start dodging flying horses.

Sure enough, I heard the sound of rushing air closing in from behind and above me as I ran and I dived back to the ground. Unfortunately for me, she must have been practicing on whatever she had been chasing before because the little blue menace still managed to scrape her hooves across my back, drawing a cry of pain from me as they raked across my hunched form. Luckily the hooves hadn’t broken the skin, but I was sure they would leave some nasty red marks. The attack had left my poncho / camouflage bunched up around my neck and I struggled to get it out of my face as I stood to make another run for the trees. I heard more shouting behind me. Whatever the voices said must have distracted the rainbow menace because I was able to make it to the trees without another attack.

I spared one last look back at the snow covered grassland and the town beyond. The guards were rallying and beginning to charge towards me on foot (hoof?) but I didn’t see anyone but them and the distant pegasi that were also turning to head in my direction. ‘At least I think I can out run these guys.’ I thought as I quickly pulled my white poncho from my neck and tossed it to the ground, it would just be a big white liability in the forest anyway, standing out like a massive white flag. As I ran I hugged my arms against my bare chest. Damn it was cold without that thing…


Scootaloo stared down at the smoldering remains of her side of the game board, and then jealously glared at the perfect formation of Sweetie Belle’s pieces. She tentatively put one hoof onto one of her pieces, hoping a mad push would manage to capture Sweetie Belle’s flag. She pushed her last remaining scout forward as far as possible, only a few squares stood between her lone piece and victory... before Sweetie Belle smashed it aside with her marshal.

“Ugh! This is so stupid!” Scootaloo whined before smacking her forehead into the small table supporting the playing board. “I can’t even move forward without you totally owning my pieces!”

Sweetie Belle fidgeted awkwardly, giving Scootaloo a smile that mixed equal parts pity and guilt. “It’s not so bad...” she started, trying to console her fuming, feathered friend.

“Not so bad?! You have like, ninety-nine percent of my pieces! I got, like, two of yours. This is stupid!” Scootaloo raised her head just long enough to shout her angry fit before bringing her head down again with a dull thump.

“I only got twenty eight of them...” Sweetie Belle said, trying to reason with the angry pegasus. Unfortunately, her cries of reason went unheard by the enraged Scootaloo.

“This is dumb! Why does Apple Bloom even have Stratego?!”

Ignoring the angry shouts of the strategically inept pegasus Apple Bloom peered out of her bedroom window. Watching the guard ponies outside had gotten a little too boring for Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle but there was no way Apple Bloom was going to let something happen on her family's farm without her at least knowing a little bit. Scootaloo still seemed a bit... jumpy from what she had seen when Big Mac had herded them back to the house but she was being tight lipped about it.

Suddenly a blue figure arched up over the trees before diving at something and the sudden shouting of the guards only confirmed her suspicions. There was something big going down at the farm. There was no doubt the figure was Rainbow Dash but the identity of whatever she was attacking was hidden by the skeletal remains of her family's apple orchard.

“Girls come see this!” She beckoned behind her with a hoof, trying to get their attention.

“What is it Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo said, still whining about her loss to their unicorn friend.

“Rainbow’s got somethin!” At the mention of the town’s legendary speedster, Scootaloo instantly forgot her griping and was at the window in a time that would make Rainbow Dash proud. Sweetie Belle followed a few seconds after, politely taking the time to finish putting away the board game. As the girls all looked over the window sill a sight they didn't expect caught their eyes. Princess Celestia and the rest of the Elements sans Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, were running right along with the guard ponies toward where Rainbow dash was now circling over what Apple Bloom knew to be the Everfree forest. Forget something big going on, this was HUGE!

“Come on we got to find out what's happenin!” Apple Bloom shouted before turning and heading for the door.

“I-I don’t think thats a good idea...” Scootaloo said slowly backing up, the memory of what she had seen behind the barn forcing its way into the forefront of her mind.

“Don’t be such a chicken, Rainbow’s there and the Princess is too, even if somethin’ does happen we got this now right?” She pulled a small sack from a pocket of her saddlebags and dropped it on the floor. The bag contained the silver sphere they had found yesterday and was connected to a small necklace. Apple Bloom had taken it home and fixed it up with better fabric for the bag and a necklace that could be pulled off in a hurry. Sweetie Belle could have probably done a better job of it but for some reason Rarity had told her she couldn't stay over last night.

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes at the earth pony member of their trio and snarled. “Nopony calls me a chicken!”

“Well then c’mon and let's go!” Apple Bloom said as she headed for the door. Scootaloo snorted and followed after her leaving Sweetie Belle sitting alone in the middle of the floor.

“There is no way this is going to end well.” Sweetie Belle said as she followed the other girls out the door.


“OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGODTHEIRSHOOTINGLASERSATME!!!” My long legs flew over the dense undergrowth of the Everfree, my pursuers nipping at my heels. The only reason I was still ahead of the armored quadrupeds was by virtue of my species. My long legged, bipedal stance made moving through the trees and thick bushes almost easy. The ponies behind be had no such advantage (besides the lasers) and were forced to plow head first though scores of thick bushes and brambles or branches in the case of the pegasi. My feet were also almost tailor made for crossing the rocks and other irregularities in the turf. Ponies had me beat in the open, there was no question, but I was the winner when it came to the obstacle course I now found myself in.

‘I can't believe this crap! This is like something out of a bad movie. Aliens that shoot laser beams outta their foreheads!? Talk about unfair!’

I raised my arms to shield my face from another series of branches that came whipping up at me. My lungs burned as I pushed myself harder, there was no way I was going back if I could avoid it, even if I had to run all the way home! I could hear the distant shouts and crashes of my pony pursuers moving clumsily through the woods and I kept pushing harder. I was no olympic distance runner but adrenalin and the promise of imprisonment does a lot for your motivation... and the lasers, can't forget the lasers.

Speaking of lasers, I had just ducked behind a tree when one smashed into the bark. I didn't stick around to see what it did to the twisted timber but what ever happened it probably wouldn't have been good for me. I heard a distant shout and suddenly the sound of my pursuers ceased. It didn't really matter to me, really. it could all be a trick at this point so I just kept running. There was no way I was going to let them catch me again!


(Minutes ago)

Celestia stared down at the rolled up parchment that had just been delivered to her via dragon fire. Strangely, almost at the same moment a messenger arrived to give Commander Spitfire a similar scroll. As Celestia’s eyes quickly scanned over the page her mouth slowly dropped open. This was bad, very bad. Words could barely describe how bad this was. Here she was in the middle of one of the possibly biggest diplomatic disasters to date and only now does she find out that the strange alien city was filled to the brim with the rarest and most dangerous magical reagent known to pony kind. That, and her sister Luna was coming in two days time to forcefully secure it!

Luna was going to move in half a century to occupy Everfree City and secure the apparently massive supply of platinum held there, and judging by the reports she was getting from the forest this would put her into potential contact with the alien Chris, or possibly another member of his species. A hoof found its way to Celestia's forehead. If all of that wasn't bad enough, a sample of the mineral the size of a small marble had already been lost when it was accidentally catapulted out of her sister’s room by a levitation spell gone awry. It had been apparently been detected on a course for the small town of Ponyville. ‘Even the good news is bad...’ Celestia thought grimly. All of this was heaped onto the threat the local garrison had been called out for. There was something new in the forest, new and dangerous.

“Commander Spitfire!” Celestia called to the stupefied officer, who was staring down at her own scroll as if the words had just stood up and done the Can-Can off the page.

“Y-yes?” Spitfire asked in a wavering voice.

“Pull the search party back, we have bigger issues than a wayward alien or creature of the Everfree.” Celestia commanded.

“Right away your highness!” Spitfire said, finally regaining her wits. She sped off into the forest to alert her subordinates, the search was off.


“Pull the search party back, we have bigger issues than a wayward alien or creature of the Everfree.” The Princess ordered from several yards away. Three small fillies hid in a bush listening to the suddenly nervous looking Celestia.

Apple Bloom whispered excitedly to her friends, “Did ya hear that? An Alien! Ah real live-”

“Do you think the alien did that to the pigs, or was it the monster she was talking about?” Scootaloo interrupted, shivering slightly. They had all gotten an eyeful after they had gone to see what had actually happened behind the barn and she wasn’t ashamed to admit that it had scared her.

Sweetie Belle just stayed quiet a distant, blank, look on her face.

“Ah don’t know, but if it did it’s gotta be dangerous!” Apple Bloom said as she grit her teeth, there was no critter, alien or not that would hurt anypony on her family’s farm! Apple Bloom had been more than angry over the carnage at the barn, the other two crusaders had never even seen her so livid. She had been surprised by the discovery that it was an alien that might have done this, but she was still beyond upset.

“I don't think going after it is a good idea...” Sweetie Belle finally said in a far away sounding voice.

“I think Sweetie is right this time.” Scootaloo said still shaken up.

“Fine! We'll wait fer the Princess to do something, then we’ll find out what's really going on here!” Apple bloom said her eyes narrowing at the woods.

Author’s Note: Alas your vaillant author has been stuck down by the flu! But seriously I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Co-Author’s Note: *Mumbles something about ‘his idea’ before falling asleep on his keyboard.*


Re-Author’s Note: HA! Admari must sleep, I have no such weakness!... Besides the flu... yeah.

Re-Co-Author’s Note: Yeah right, half the reason this took so long was because you got the night shift.


Re-Re-Authors Note: Shush! You’re supposed to be asleep!!