• Member Since 24th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 6th, 2019

Xeddrief


T
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When a human’s house crash lands on the outskirts of Ponyville, nopony is quite sure how to react to this strange creature. With seemingly no way to return home to his own world, one young man must adjust to this strange new world, and the world must adjust to him.

Starts between Fall Weather Friends and Suited for Success.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 165 )

Alright... You've caught my interest... :moustache:

This seems very promising story, but please don't make the human character into some sadist that hates the human race.

2743100

I certainly have no such intention! But yes, I have noticed that trend in several HiE stories as well and it irks me too.

I think an "Unexpected Visitor" title is a bit overused

Comment posted by JBL deleted Jun 19th, 2013
JBL

Alrighty this looks interesting, although I'm usually wary about reading a new story. Hopefully he doesn't turn into a pony/alicorn, becomes the 7th Element, instantly forgives any harm to him as is so often done in other HiE stories (seriously, don't writers know that humans can, in fact, hold a grudge?)........... Well, on the plus side, he isn't named Josh or Alex so that's one point for you! :rainbowlaugh:

So, will this be a version of Cultural Artifacts that doesn't horribly derail the entire story in chapter five?

......... The heck is a Television Licence? I probably sound like an idiot right now.

Forgive my ignorance but who needs a license to setup a TV? :rainbowhuh:

2743703

BWAHAHAHAAA Oh snap!

and yet, yeah I'm kinda hoping that too though... >_>

JBL

2743703 You mean chapter five onwards...

Great story already! :pinkiesmile: Keep writing! :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Explodium deleted Jun 19th, 2013

It is a weird spin to HIE..... buuut i want to read how this guy will react to multicolored ponies...soo keep em coming :yay:.

This looks like it will be entertaining. Keep up the good work that I can see.

i can't judge much on what is written so far so i'm going to sit back and wait a chapter or two.
I can sense atleast 1-2 more chapters of character building before we really get into anything else.
1 more thing

“Woohoo!” Pinkie cheered exuberantly, causing Luna to wince as several lights switched on in nearby houses, disgruntled ponies peering out of windows to see what all the fuss was about. “Friend GET!” She yelled, pumping her hoof into the air.

achievements.schrankmonster.de/Achievement.aspx

Finally freed, she was imbibed with the need to do things,

I do not think that word means what you think it means. She was imbued?

You have the attention of the Protoss Conclave. Continue with this work, Terran... ah, please.

2743703 hopefully it WON'T be like that otherwise terrible terrible things shall befall this author :pinkiecrazy:

I just happened to see this in the featured box when I needed to go to sleep. Read it anyways. No regrets.

Optime! Yes, indeed it would appear that this story has providence!:yay:
If i'm not mistaken, there was a similar story called cultural artifacts and heaven knows what happened to that story :raritydespair: .
You would do not only us a disservice, but a disservice to your own talent as well. In summation: Dis gonna be good.

2744546
Was? Hell that story is still going Strong.

2744546 captain Savage has linked you to the story, but stick with it even when it get's weird and convoluted. there are a couple of chapters that are pretty trippy and REALLY fast paced.

val

Healing magic had never been her forte…her skills lay mainly in enchantment, illusions and combat magic
THAT MAKES NO SENSE
night is a time of rest and letting the body get better but shes better at combat? :rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh:

2744915 Don't forget, she used to be Nightmare Moon. That's probably where her skill in combat and illusions comes from.

D48

What there is of this is looking good so far, however it is still far to early to tell if it will be good or not so I am going to follow this and see where it goes.

That said, I did notice one recurring error that you should go fix. You are using numerals (1, 2, 3, 4, ect.) in the text which is incorrect for exact numbers less than ten which should be spelled out (one, two, three, four, ect.). It is not a big error, but it is a bit jarring to read and easy to fix so I wanted to point it out.:twilightsmile:

2744851 I stuck with that for a bit after it made a sudden random turn with no explanation thinking it would be a dream or something, but I wound up dropping it after it failed to get better. Did it ever go back to a logical progression, or did it just leave the random disconnect sitting there forever?

2744915 "All warfare is based on deception" - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

The illusions are obvious given her powers of darkness and connect well with combat so that link makes as much sense as anything else. It makes even more sense from a more meta perspective when you think about the balance between her and her sister who likes to sit around, eat cake, troll random ponies, completely fail at managing every crisis she runs into, and get her fat flank kicked by an overgrown bug. Also remember that Luna wanted to go help Twilight deal with Sombra in the season 3 opener but Celestia said no which is another good indicator of which princess is more inclined to go kick a problem in the teeth.

Really the only one that does not make a ton of sense is enchantment, but that is not really something that has a clear alignment anyways so it makes just as much sense for he to have it as Celestia.

Not bad. It's a good start. I just hope this won't be found by the-
Human. You have the attention of those infinitely your greater. You are to continue your efforts until we have evaluated the quality of this work of non-canon literature. We are everywhere, do not dissapoint. Do you think we are playing? We are The Silence. We do not play. When you are in your shower, we will be there. When you are watching television, we will be there. Even in your REM induced nighttime hallucinations, we will be there.
...wha? What happened? Ughh. I need a drink.
*goes to get a drink, doesn't notice tall, suit wearing alien in his room*

Oh i really have no idea how featuring works anymore:raritydespair:. like the story though!:raritystarry:

2745043 while it never changed what happened in that one chapter, it does in deed go back to a lot of logical deduction after that. Like I said to the other guy, stick with it through the weird parts and it's still good. Even if the weird parts REALLY try to drive you off. Admittedly it never goes back to being as coldly clinical as the first few chapters, but they really can't after certain things happen mind you.

I'm going to favorite this story, and see where it leads. There isn't much in the story that caught my attention off of the bat, but I want to see where it leads. I hope that the house becomes an important plot detail.

The "friend GET" line was amusing.

Also, watch the word choice. Sometimes, it's a bit wonky.

D48

2745412 That's not really encouraging. Can you give me an explanation of what happened and where it goes? If it sounds reasonable I might go give it another chance, but as is I am really not seeing a reason to give it another try.

Good so far.
I will follow.:pinkiehappy:

Also, what kind of communist crap is TV liceensing? Is that an American thing?:rainbowhuh:

...I'm glad I live in Australia.
Winter is short and we get sixteen TV channels for free (television and accessories notwithstanding).:twilightsmile:

I be so random.:derpytongue2:

House lands in Ponyville... oh god... *giggle-snerk*

Ponies, "Horray! The monster's house landed on the Wicked Trixie of the East!" :rainbowlaugh:

Ok, now I have to do a Wizard of Oz crossover parody. *adds it to his massive idea list* :facehoof:

2745579
or "and now... THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FO- wai, does anypony else hear that?" *Splat*

2745627 NMM will be the Wicked Alicorn of the West... Trixie's lover... :fluttershbad:

whalethen.com/files/7ca.gif

To anyone reading this...Have you said this, "Alright time to do a story!" Then some story you found, like this, is so good that you forgot what to do. Yeah it happen to me, does this happen to anyone else?

Interesting premise. Don't you dare pull a "Cultural Artifacts" on this story!

Hello everyone, thanks for all your comments!

Heh, I'm sensing a lot of resentment over Cultural Artifacts, which does have a similar initial premise to this story before it become...heavily derailed. Rest assured that while I will inevitably include villains like Discord when the appropriate time frame rolls around, the main focus of the story will not be on alternative versions of the show's episodes with an extra character, but on the time between said episodes. There will be conflicts, but they will be conflicts that make sense in the context of the character's previous behaviour and experiences...

And a Television Licence is a British thing (I don't know how prevalent it is in other places). Most of the time you automatically have one when you buy a house, but sometimes when you rent a house the landlord has you pay for it's upkeep, so if you don't watch much TV it's cheaper to not have one.

I remember when this just came out....

2744705
Yes it would appear to be so, yet I simply do not have a taste for a story like that.

2746104
I understand, lately it has been...

Comment posted by Cotton Sweet deleted Jun 19th, 2013
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