• Published 19th Nov 2012
  • 6,817 Views, 791 Comments

The Missionary - Radon18

Follow a man, surviving in equestria with nothing but his wits and his faith, oh and his own town.

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Chapter9: Here We Go...

Chapter 9

“Words in a foreign language.”
“Quoting in thought”


“She can’t be here, I’m not ready yet!” Twilight ran around the small cell, frantically trying to get every little thing in tip top shape. “Not ready, not ready, not ready!” she breathlessly chanted while tidying up, getting her notes in order and trying to make the alien at least look a little presentable. A soft ‘clip clop, clip clop,’ echoed down the petrified hallway. NOT READY! she screamed in her mind. The hoof steps grew louder and the alien collapsed onto the floor and began to cough violently. Twilight froze. Oh no I forgot about that! He can’t meet the princess like this; he’s just going to get sick again!

Twilight quickly tried to sift through her vast mental library. She had to find a way to keep the creature safe and in a good enough mood to not misbehave in front of her teacher and princess. She needed a way to keep the princess’ magical field away from him…. or weaken it… or isolate him entirely… “Yes! Star Swirl’s experimentation sphere!” she suddenly shouted. She lit her horn and a shimmering purple sphere appeared around the violently hacking alien. His breathing started to calm down but he still didn’t look very good, wheezing on the floor. She pushed a little harder and the sphere grew larger, eventually forming to the walls and creating a purple shimmering field of energy that divided the cell by half.

Star Swirl’s experimentation sphere was a spell anypony who had ever wanted to make their own spells had to be familiar with. It allowed the user to create a space where all external and ambient magic was cancelled out to provide a “clean” working area so that no foreign magic disrupted the spell creation process. It was a spell Twilight had used many times and she chastised her own short-sightedness for not thinking of using it in the alien’s situation sooner. Still, she breathed a sigh of relief, the creature was going to be okay and the princess wouldn’t banish her to the moon for accidentally letting him choke to death.

The alien weakly pushed himself off the ground and into the strange sitting position he had been using for most of the day and glared at her eyes narrowed. “What was that?”

Twilight took a moment to realize that the creature had even spoken to her. “Oh, that. Umm , the princess is coming to visit today and I forgot that she would make you sick. It’s fine now, don’t worry.”

“Why does your princess make me… pain.” The translator chugged again, but the meaning was still clear enough.

Twilight winced. She couldn’t tell him the real reason the princess made him sick. He was a skittish creature and telling him that magic was the cause of his symptoms would probably make him distrust anyone with a horn! In an effort to avoid explaining, she levitated the small translator pyramid and tried to focus on making a few last second corrections before the princess came in. She had barely started before the alien snatched the sapphire focus out of her magical grip and held it behind his back, breaking her concentration.

“Hey! Give that back, you might have broken it!” Twilight protested. The creature just glared at her in return, determined not to return the device before he had his answer. They stared at one another for a long while, the clip, clop, of the hoofs in the hallway sounding very close.

Twilight was trying not to look nervous, but if he broke the focus there wouldn’t be a way to validate her claims of communication and that would set her back weeks! Not to mention the princess might even banish her for lying in a report! “Ugh, fine! The princess’ magic field is so strong that being near her triggers your symptoms. Any magic can cause it but so far the princess is the only pony who triggers it just by being in the same building, so can I please have my spell focus back now?!” Twilight shouted.

“Oh my faithful student, I didn’t know that shouting was your oh so successful way of communicating with unknown aliens. To think the secret would have been so simple.”

Twilight froze upon hearing the soft voice coming from the doorway. She turned her head so slowly that she could almost hear her neck squeal like a rusty hinge… and there was her teacher’s head poking into the room through the crack between the open iron door and the wall, looking at her with an expression of thinly veiled amusement. Neither one of them noticed their alien guest backing slowly into the corner of the room, his eyes wide with fear.


Professor Crystal Beaker rolled the small sphere of platinum across her office desk with a hoof. She hadn't let it out of her sight since she had separated it out of a strange grill of material that was caked in soot. In front of her lay copies of the surveillance photos of the Everfree City. Rows upon rows of the alien machines could be seen lining the streets. With only one or two more of these we could double the amount of platinum in the diarchy. The corners of her muzzle crept up her features and anypony watching might have a hard time telling if it was supposed to be a smile of joy or a sinister grin. And as the one to discover such a resource, I’ll be a hero!

With the questionably sane grin still plastered on her face, Crystal levitated the tiny silver marble and stuffed it in her saddle bag. With another quick flash of her horn, the bags were resting on her flank and a piece of parchment, along with an inkwell and quill floated just in front of her. “Hmm let’s see...” Dear princesses Celestia and Luna... She walked out the door still scribbling away at her letter and turned in the direction of Canterlot castle, scaring a few bystanders along the way with an occasional unnerving cackle.


I slowly backed into the rock wall behind me, images of horrible twisted once-people making deals with demons to gain magical power running through my head. I tried to fight the mental horror show by imagining all the good wizards and witches and fairies and all of those Disney do-gooders that had managed to quell the idea that magic was something unnatural and wholly against everything a human should stand for. I really wanted to believe that there was some kind of mistake, that these people weren't dealing in real magic the way monsters among men had done in the old stories. They didn't seem like people who would sell their soul to an unholy demon for power and I hoped I had heard wrong. Yes! That’s it, just another translation mistake, yeah, just gotta speak up and get this all straightened out...

I tried to pry my eyes away from the ground which had suddenly become oh so interesting to my panicked senses but they were stubborn and refused to budge, so I tried to simply open my mouth to ask if those words had been a mistake but the only thing to come out was a pathetic squeak. With a lot of effort I finally managed to pry my gaze away from the floor so I could look at the other occupants of my cell. There was the annoying purple one talking excitedly to the large white one I remembered from my first day in this prison. Strangely I felt no fear of the white horse this time, probably due to the lack of my lungs feeling like they were being stomped on. My squeak drew their attention and the purple one held up the translator... spell focus... thing. The white horse fully emerged from the door to sit beside the annoying purple one.

“Hello there,” the white horse spoke gently. She wore an expression that made me feel almost safe, like the feeling you get as a child sitting in your mother’s lap. I chastised myself for the juvenile impulse; I had to find out if what the purple one said was true before I could actually let myself relax.

“H-hello ma’am,” I choked. Judging by the expression on the white ones face I don't think it would have mattered if I had said hello or started to sing some raunchy drinking song, she looked overjoyed I had even managed to speak.

“I brought you something,” she said in the same comforting voice. A small package wrapped in a white cloth slowly pushed through the purple barrier that had divided the cell and thumped onto the floor. I reached down to take it, my eyes never leaving the pair in front of me. The white cloth was easy to unwrap being held on with a clever fold of the fabric and little else. I briefly wondered if it was because they didn't even trust me with a string. The wrapped object slowly came into view and I gasped the moment a bright golden chain slid from between the pages of my copy of Genesis.

I was stunned as my crucifix pendant slid out into my awaiting palm. I slipped the chain around my neck where it belonged and clutched the book to my chest, holding it to my heart like a piece of unbreakable armor. “Thank you ma’am,” I whispered, barely making a sound. I still felt like if I had been wearing boots I would have been shaking in them, but there was no denying I meant what I said.

“Princess, wasn't the Academy studying those?” The purple one cocked her head in curiosity.

The white horse grinned. “Oh no, they weren't using these.”


Earlier that day

A brown earth pony research assistant scratched his head with a hoof. He was sure he had put items three and forty seven here on the table with the rest of the “cultural” examples. He contemplated the two empty spots before looking around to make sure no one was watching. Grabbing an old peppermint and a dried up french fry, he placed them in the empty spots. “There we go, no one will ever know,” he said before clocking out for mid-morning break, never noticing the tip of the pastel, rainbow colored tail that disappeared behind the door frame.


“Really? That’s strange, they are usually so thorough,” the purple one commented; the white horse nodded in agreement before shifting her attention back to me.

“Celestia,” the white horse spoke again. “That is my name. Would you please tell me yours?” I choked again and panic seeped into my mind. Tales of mages twisting your own name into a weapon to be used against you, or simply a yoke to chain you, flooded my mind. No, there was no way I was going to tell them my real name, not until I knew I could trust them. My eyes darted around the cell briefly searching for some inspiration, anything to help me with my sudden need for an alias.

The wall, the cot, my own feet, finally the Bible in my arms. ‘Bible, Genesis, Christian, Chris!’ “My name is Chris!” I almost shouted, sounding more than a little relieved.

“Well then Chris, assuming she has not beaten me to the punch, I would like to introduce you to my student, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia held out a single alabaster wing toward the purple unicorn and the annoying purple one looked sheepish for a moment before turning her gaze back to me; the curiosity in her eyes burned with enough intensity to lead a hundred felines to their doom.

“It’s nice to finally speak to you, Chris,” Twilight said as she levitated a scroll and parchment out of her saddle bags, already scratching down notes. I had to force myself to breath slowly and not have a panic attack on the spot.

“You look uncomfortable Chris, is their anything we can do to help?” The same motherly tone from Celestia breached the sound of my breathing.

“I-is...” I tried to force the question out again. Is this really magic? You aren't really consorting with twisted demons right? You aren't going to sacrifice my soul in some bloody ritual right?

“Would you like to get some fresh air?” Celestia smiled and gestured to the door.

“Princess! Are you sure that's a good idea?” Twilight squawked, nervousness suddenly creeping into her voice.

“I’m sure it will be fine Twilight, he is a civilized creature and he wouldn't try to hurt any of my little ponies, would you?” Celestia glanced pointedly at me and I jerked my head nervously from side to side.

Twilight poked her head out of the door and motioned to someone outside. A second later the jerk with the spear waltzed in and quickly unlocked my chains, phasing through the shimmering wall like it wasn’t even there. He shot me a glare as the chains fell to the ground and quickly moved to stand beside Celestia. “Is there anything else you need, your Highness?”

“Yes, if you would be so kind as to inform Commander Spitfire that we are going to move our guest to his more permanent lodgings.”

Celestia motioned at the door and the jerk went quickly on his way with a curt, “Yes, your Highness.”

Twilight’s horn glowed again and the purplish field shrank to just a small cylinder that just barely fit me inside. The princess motioned for us to follow before heading out into the hallway. Twilight shot me a nervous look and motioned me through ahead of her and I quickly made my way out of the small cell, Twilight following close behind. I had never seen the rest of the building outside of my cell and in a way it was fascinating... if it hadn't felt like I was walking to my own execution. I tried to calm myself again, to tell my mind that I was imagining things and that this wasn't some kind of death march. It didn't work, of course, but I still had to try it.

We came to a large set of double doors that were opened for us from the outside and I caught my first glimpse of the town that wasn't outside my tiny window. The large glass windows of whatever building I was in offered a great view of a market in full swing. Ponies went about their business in a way that made me think about the few times my mother had dragged me to the farmers’ market on the square. Celestia quickly tilted her head to the two guards in silver armor that flanked the double doors and she didn't miss a beat as she headed for the front door.

The fire colored one and the jerk joined our little group just as Celestia made her way into the early afternoon sun. “Here we go,” Twilight sighed as I pushed my way through the door and joined the princess outside.

Author’s note: “Here we go” indeed. Also, sorry for the short-ish chapter and the longer than usual wait, stuff went down this week.

Co-Author’s Note: I... have nothing to say. Try again next week. -Admari