If you ever met Sunstone when he was but a young colt, you would’ve seen a large grin, two purple eyes full of determination, and an earth pony who could take on the world.
But something happened over the years. As Sunstone grew older, more and more did his cheerful smile morph into an ugly scowl. His enthusiastic attitude gradually capsized, leaving in its stead a disgruntled husk of his former self.
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle: Two gifted unicorns that would quickly undermine everything Sunstone has been hoping to achieve, unintentionally turning him into the underdog he never wished to be. Resentment overtaking his better judgement, feeling doomed to be living forever in the shadow of his immensely successful brother and sister, Sunstone has had a lifetime of feeling thoroughly unremarkable.
Unable to bear his inability to stand out amongst his younger siblings, Sunstone vowed to never see his family again. It’s been five years since he departed on a journey to finally understand his true place in Equestria.
Not once has he looked back at the life he left behind.
I did not understand anything. The MC is Sun Stone... So who's the other one? Or did I miss something and they are the same character?
Another thing, is the mc a self insert or a simple oc who was always a pony?
Also, is the plot about psychological issues or is it just the mc doing magic with... whatever talent he has that I don't understand? At least I don't know what you can do with a geology hammer and a magic star XD
tell me!!! tell me!!! jeje
I agree with Deora na grenie. This needs explaining. Also, why is Sunstone an earth pony when everyone else in his family is a Unicorn?
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I'm pretty sure the breed of pony is a geans thing, two unicorn parents have a very high chance to have a unicorn foal but it's not guaranteed same with the other pairings, no Matter what pairing the foal can be born a unicorn, pegasus or earth based on gean and family tree and the like.
Off to a good start I think. Beginning at tender age of 6 with its hints of sad times ahead, jumping to the current time of him happy. Seems you can't escape your family when they are royalty...
Interested in seeing how you build up the road to where he is now and how he'll handle seeing his family again.
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I think the idea is sunstone changed his name in order to not be associated with his family and so he could live alone in his own part of the world, at least that is what I got out of it.
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Maybe I have the talent in the lost art of making runes, I don't know, I went through the cover but the summary sounded like the typical Abandoned and Forgotten fic that I've had enough of it. The only thing that would save him is that the summary is what the MC thinks but it's not what his family reflects, someone who actually abandoned everything and not that they abandoned him, which would be a more interesting plot because the MC would have to face his beliefs and determine who he will be for the rest of his life, the pony I'm looking for who he was with rancor and hate in his heart? the pony that got stuck in his own head ignoring the truth? Or the pony that was stupid enough to jump to conclusions before asking the important questions?
interesting i will be following this story closely
I like it. The first chapter is so long and meaningful, it immediately grabs you to read. There is a story about the third daughter of the Sparkle family, now here is a new alternative version, and here is the same problem, the third brother does not like his sister, who has already become a princess. And he had his rainbow boom, cool idea. It is also interesting, why no one paid attention to his cutie mark, it directly speaks of their kinship?
For not being a native in the English tounge you certainly use it better than most who are born to it.
I'm excited to read more of this intriguing tale.
I'm telling you he should go nuclear scientist ! Geology hammer + star = (for me) breaking down matter !
All things related to nuclear energy and magic should be included in the subject of his cutie mark, because I think it's a broad one like Sparkle !
Need more, now!
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Sunstone be like: "Now I've become magic, the destroyer of friendships."
In seriousness, I want this to happen. Just imaging a pony having the power of a nuclear bomb on their hooftips.
Damn this is good. Hope this can keep going for awhile. Just be VERY careful to not head into emo/edge writing with this. Seen more than one fic with family based drama go nasty and ruin the fic because the writer leaned too hard into the emotional conflict.
I will be following this story with great interest
I'm invested in where this goes. lol. I kinda hope he's just a punk and the rest of his family is like, "Yeah, he doesn't like us but we try to honor his wishes..." But I'll keep checking it out regardless of how it goes. Thanks for writing this!
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What story are you referring to? I'll be quite honest here, I'm not too well versed with what has been and hasn't been done already. Last thing I'd want is to step on anyone else's toes. Though to my defense, it do be 2023; a lot of ideas have been established already. Serves me right for tossing myself into this fandom so effin' late. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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This story https://www.fimfiction.net/story/424138/the-third-wheel
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I don't think you need to worry about "stepping on other people's toes". Firstly because your story and characters already seem to be going in another direction than that one, and secondly because it's perfectly legitimate to take an already used concept and provide your own take on it
I can understand why he would want to disassociate with twilight.
Imagine for a majority of your life that your identity is tied to another person. All your achievements automatically compared to your sibling
Soon enough people stop seeing him as his own person and now only identify him as "Princess Twilight's brother"
No matter what he does no matter what he doesnt do hes just brother.
Wow! This was a fantastic start! Great horse words! Can't wait to see how this goes!
As far as him being an Earth Pony instead of a Unicorn, remember Mr. and Mrs. Cake gave birth to a Pegasus and unicorn when they were both earth ponies. Similar deal here with the genes being buried for generations.
It's a promising start! And considering Velvet and Night Light's poor treatment of Spike in canon, I absolutely see this happening. I'm curious to see what Twi did to Sunstone directly to cause this too.
Author, you have me invested into your story! One thing, though:
Unless it’s on accident, I don’t think the word “s**t” is compatible with the E for everyone rating. So you might either have to change the word or the rating.
Besides that, interesting story, author!
Blessings!
-Davidtin, reader of cool OG fanfics
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Oh shit!
Ha, see what I did, here? In all seriousness though, whoops-a-daisy. When I wrote that part, I actually debated with myself whether it was an acceptable usage of that big no-no word (considering it's part of an expression that makes me lol oh so much). I don't suppose a poop emoji is an acceptable substitute?
I might do something about this.
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Probably dung or crap? Well, maybe not the latter word as a few consider it to be almost touching the line between the E and T ratings.
As one who doesn’t use the ‘mature’ level of profanity, I personally either use a substitute that’s not too cringey, or I omit the word completely and use another way to convey surprise or dismay or anger.
-Davidtin, the one who typed this response in church
I am betting on a friendship problem making her come the town. But this feels seriously promising. I really dig the style too.
From the looks of this, it’s gonna be snippets of the past followed by his life in the present. Already gonna call it, his parents weren’t supportive of his talent, probably wanting him to do something more related to magic. I don’t think we know exactly what Velvet and Nightlight do for living, but I think it’s at least implied they work with magic. At best they might have neglected him in favor of his siblings who showed impressive magical abilities. At worst… well… I’m scared to think about it, his siblings might have picked up on him being “different” from their parents and might not have been a big help to his feelings of self worth…. This kinda reminds of me of “The Vanishing Star”…. Hopefully if it is…. If Twilight try’s to victim blame he pushes back hard.
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The last one about his siblings bullying him is honestly a bit unnerving to me. Even though Equestria is a utopia, it's only to an extent. The land is far from being a heaven, so it's bound to have some problems. Let's wait and see what the author has in store for us.
Peace and blessings!
-Davidtin, one who is unnerved by a negative possibility to the MC’s family
Welp, this got 1k views in under two days. That happened. I uh, I wasn't prepared for that. My pockets are full of spaghetti now.
Man, it's- I don't know what the hell to do with this. You guys are freakin' incredible. Thank you for all those beautiful comments and all that support! Y'all sure found an efficient way at skyrocketing my heart's BPM. To say that this pumps me to keep on going with this project would be the understatement of the century.
In fact, here we have Sunstone (Gray Calx?) with us, eager to share a few words of wisdom on the matter:
i.postimg.cc/3NPtcMV0/Sunstone-Yelling.png
Thanks Sunstone, very cool.
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I was guessing that it was a name change, something he did to avoid notice.
Very enjoyable story so far. Can't wait to see how this unfolds.
This should be rated T for drama..
excited to see where this goes
keep up the great work!
Great, I haven't seen anyone write decently in the first person for a long time. Although I have read many stories, this one stands out from the rest. I hope this continues.
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An earth pony in a family of unicorns in the most unicorn elite city in Equestria? Yeah even before his other siblings got famous I can see a lot of 2nd class child syndrome happening.
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Doesn't have to be anything direct; simply being infinitely more successful than him, as well as soaking up all of his parent's attention (along with Shining Armor) would be enough to make him seriously resent her.
I'm really exited to read more, I normally stick to HIE fanfics, but this one is shaping up to be one of the greats.
If she didn’t know about her oldest brother
which I guess we will see if she knew of him or not in the flashbacks, since I kinda feel like he dipped before she was born or was mostly outta the picture already by thenthen cue her somehow learning about her oldest brother and somehow finding out where he lives now and deciding to show up.Anyways intriguing story so far, can’t wait to see where this goes!
Let's see how this develops!
I think you mean "volition".
And why couldn't Twilight charter an airship?
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1. Probably more expensive.
2. Take an airship into an area of unpredictable weather? Probably not a good idea even in a place where artificially regulated weather isn't the norm.
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Lmao. There are typos. And then, there's this one.
Ah…. So sounds like on-top of having interests/hobbies that would be a bit niche even among Earth Ponies… and he was in a UNICORN majority city well… probably was a bit isolated. It also sounds like he has his “little” sisters study habits too, inadvertently shutting everything else out. While he seems to brush it off in the flashbacks, the way he reacted makes me think it was denial about his loneliness more than anything.
Being a lot older this his siblings, while also being a lot stronger then them (he’s an earth pony), probably also slowly isolated him from them as well. That was likely made worse as they began to excel at their own interests which were easier for their parents to praise (as they were closer to their own interests). My guess he started feeling slowly shut out of the family, as his siblings got more attention, maybe he even noticed a discrepancy in the amount of attention they got at their respective ages and what he received. What happened though…. Could be a huge fight between him and his parents… or it could be more anti climatic… like he just was gone one day.
Final thought, some people have pushed forward a Cakes situation in terms of why he’s the only Earth Pony in a Unicorn Family. But I’m thinking the reason is probably closer to home, he’s the product of a previous relationship, or maybe an affair….
Hmm... so, this isn't going to be one of those stories where the kid is to blame for misunderstanding something & ran away only to learn years later that he could've lived a different life, correct? Cause, it feels like you've built things up in chapter one for Canterlot's common tribalist attitude amongst the unicorn citizenry to be a big factor of the story.
Sunstone when he and his town are saved from a rampaging Ursa:
Sunstone when the one doing the saving is Twilight Sparkle:
Another banger. Good characterization, good writing, AND not ignoring Spike and the parents in a story about family dynamics?! I was curious before, but now I'm invested. I'm sorely tempted to speculate, but I'll restrain myself. You're already exceeding my expectations.
Oh boy, are we going to have a rather disasters reunion?
Can’t wait to see the next chapter!
I hope the next chapter comes out soon
Oh sweet, new update
Pretty good so far
I really love this and the slow buildup to the backstory! It's also fantastic that you included Spike as well, since a lot of writers tend to ignore him. Especially after the unfortunate implications Zeppelin and Sparkle's Seven both gave us about the Sparkle parents refusal to treat him like a part of the family.
Can't wait to see more!
Another good chapter. Was really looking forward to reading more and it didn't disappoint. Being an earth pony in a unicorn majority city is tough but being an earth pony foal in a unicorn majority city is really the worst. He must have been isolated felt alienated the whole time and while the parents are being fair they don't really see the big picture at all, you can read it when they told him to play with friends his age outside. They simply cannot see from his perspective at all.
I am really excited for them meeting. Will she even recognize him at all? I am guessing she won't at first until she sees his cutie mark.
Child trauma is some of the hardest to treat and address. So I am interested to see how this will play out.
I can see the future.