Around a walking rope were ten little foals.
Five colts to the right and five fillies to the left, symmetrically separated by the plush of an elongated snake, each of its soft handles being tightly held between underdeveloped yet powerful sets of molars. In front of the orderly camel train was, as one would expect, the primary school teacher: A rather young unicorn with azure fur, a lush turquoise mane, and a large toothy smile. With the oldest foal under her care being slightly over six years of age, she knew she had to keep a cautious eye on them, though her precautionary measures didn’t make a dent in her overall enthusiastic attitude.
As she marched ahead, cheerfully chaperoning her class through the busy streets of Canterlot, one particular colt was bouncing with all of the excitement in Equestria. He was grinning from ear to ear; how he managed to keep his jaw firmly gripped onto Mr. Sneckington was a riddle for the ages.
The overexcited ankle-biter could’ve easily been singled out for his cheery demeanor alone, sure, but that wasn’t the only unusual aspect about him, oh no no no. It didn’t take a meticulous detective to figure that one out: A quick look at the group alone would’ve made anypony pick up on that not-so-subtle detail.
That little ray of sunshine? That little bouncing ball of pure dopamine? Was the only earth pony in a class populated by unicorns and pegasi. Indeed, under his spikey lavender hairdo was a strong yet flat forehead with a horn nowhere to be found. On both of his deep-toned silver sides were no featherily protuberances. He was as earthy as an earth pony could get, even benefiting from an especially bulky frame despite his young age.
His name was Sunstone. And today?
Sunstone was happy. So, so happy!
“Hehehe, alright there Sunstone! You can let go of Mr. Sneckington; we’re here!” sing-sung the mare in charge.
He didn’t need to be asked twice. Spitting out the cushiony bar, little Sunstone started skipping in circles, simply unable to keep his overflowing adrenaline in check.
A few steps in front of both his classmates and himself was a decently-sized house – just like any other house in this district. Canterlot had a huge knack for golden buttresses and sharply angled roofs of purple shingles, and Sunstone’s home was no different in that regard. It screamed upper class, without erring into the exclusive territory of nobility. In sum, he was living well – far better than the grand majority of Equestria, in fact – but not so much that he used pallets of gold bars as hoofstools.
Before he could wave his comrades goodbye and bolt toward his dwelling, his caring teacher decided to interject.
“Now remember, Sunstone! Today was an important day, isn’t that right?” she candidly smiled.
“Oh yes, Mrs. Clarity! Yes it was! Yes it was!” jumped the only earth pony around as though he was on an invisible trampoline.
“Aaaaand why is that?”
She knew full well what she tried to extract out of him, and Sunstone was more than ready to play her game. She was merely teasing her student with no ill intents, and boy did it strike true.
For Sunstone detonated like a firework.
“Because today, I got my CUTIE MARK!” he bellowed.
That sudden shout made the other young ponies block their poor disrespected ears. Other passersby craned their neck at the commotion, snobbishly disturbed. One particularly neurotic bourgeois even ducked and covered. Mrs. Clarity, meanwhile, couldn’t help but giggle at the sight.
“That’s right! And at such a young age, too! You’re a wonderful overachiever, Sunstone!” she encouraged him, making him raise his chin all proud. “You make sure to tell Mr. Light and Mrs. Velvet all about it, okay? Will you do that for me?”
He fervently shook his head in response. “I will!”
Finally dismissed, Sunstone began to gallop, right until he crossed the doorway of his humble house. He nearly tripped on his way there, he nearly collided with the fragile furniture, he nearly carved a new hole in the wall with his face, but by Celestia, he sure made it to his parents in record time. The two of them were calmly waiting in the living room; a huge contrast with Sunstone’s infinite peppiness.
“Mom! Dad!” uttered a joyous (and loud) Sunstone.
Twilight Velvet, a beautiful pale gray mare of purple and white mane and mother of one, jolted at the sudden ruckus. Night Light, bluer than a berry and devoted husband, hardly managed to stay on his haunches on the low-profile lounge. Suffice to say, the two unicorn parents got slightly discombobulated by their son’s grand entrance.
“Sunny!” yelped the mother. “You scared me! I-I didn’t hear you come in!”
“Oh... Sorry mom! But mom! Dad! I’ve got it! I-I-I’ve just... I’ve just got it! M-my... my...”
“Whoa there son, take a breather! You’ll swallow your tongue whole!” intervened Night Light.
“M-my... m-m-my...!”
“Yeessss?” said both parents in unison, bending over the little colt about to explode.
And explode he did. Launching in the air just like a rocket, eyes shut in pure elation, all four limbs unbent as far as he could. Both grownups jerked away from the sudden reaction, eyes sized like diner plates.
“MY CUTIE MARK! I’VE GOT MY CUTIE MARK!” Sunstone barked louder than a dragon.
It took but a moment for both Mr. Light and Mrs. Velvet to truly digest those words. They went through a plethora of emotions in a fraction of a second. First, bewilderment. Did they hear that right? Then, doubt. Was it a prank? They even detoured through confusion. W-w-what’s a cutie mark, again? Finally, they settled on acceptance, then pride, and THEN full-blown happiness.
Their son! His cutie mark! The most important moment in a pony’s life!
They sure weren’t expecting anything of the sorts anytime soon. Oh, not because little Sunstone wasn’t accomplished or anything, no. It’s just, it was extremely rare for a colt of his age to earn his special talent that early in his life. Not that this was a bad thing! Really impressive, in fact! It meant that he knew exactly what he was made for, and did not hesitate for a second to show the world.
Because of this beyond unusual phenomenon, Night Light and Twilight Velvet were momentarily at a loss for words; they couldn’t and did NOT brace for such unexpected news!
But when the reality of the whole affair finally sunk in, with tears in the corner of their eyes, they did not hesitate for a second to lock their only child in a tight embrace, almost squeezing the air out of his lungs.
“Sunny! T-this... this is wonderful news!” sniffled Twilight Velvet.
“I am so proud of you, son!” congratulated Night Light whilst swallowing a lump down his throat. “May we see what it looks like? Oh, I am so curious!”
They both backed away from the little pony. Sunstone took this opportunity to gasp for air. It was one vice-grip of a hug.
“Yeah! Check it out!” he excitedly said.
Turning his flank to the side, his mother and father took a good look at the newest addition on their son’s hindquarters.
“Oh!” exclaimed Twilight Velvet. “It’s a six-pointed purple star! How lovely! I too have stars on me, as you know, and... But, oh? What’s this, Sunny?”
“What’s what?” a genuinely confused Sunstone asked.
“Next to the star there’s... some kind of tool? What is it?” said his father in lieu of his mother.
“Oh, that! That’s a rock pick! Or a ‘geologist’s hammer’ if you wanna be all scientific like Mrs. Clarity, bleh! But isn’t it awesome!?”
Night Light and Twilight Velvet, for a brief moment, exchanged a troubled look with large smiles pinched up by proverbial clothespins and bulged eyes widened by invisible speculums. As if they were trying their best to keep their reaction entirely natural. Though they really wish their son hadn’t, Sunstone took full notice of that bizarre, off-putting response. His grin lowered just a tad, worry slowly nesting in his guts.
“Well... I-isn’t it?” he tentatively asked again, his voice having lost a couple of decibels.
Mr. Light was the first to shake his head. “B-but of course! S-sorry, son, we were just ah, we didn’t uh...”
“... We just didn’t know what it was, that’s all,” continued Mrs. Velvet, saving her husband’s bacon. “We’re simply not too versed with, um, earth pony intricacies and all of that. You know how we are,” she added, further playing the diplomat. “But we like it, Sunny. We really really do! As long as it makes you happy, then so are we!”
Sunstone juggled his look between both of his parents. From mom to dad, then dad to mom. Two times. Three times. After a small moment of silence,
“O-okay!” he said, after shaking his head a bit. “T-thanks mom! Thanks dad! I am really happy...!”
His mother offered another gentle smile, and so too did his dad. After another round of hugs, Mr. Light awkwardly coughed in his fetlock. This prompted his significant other to return back to reality, having suddenly been reminded of something very important.
“Oh! Sunny, before you run to your room to play, we too have an announcement to make,” she softly said.
Sunstone remained silent, biting his lips in anticipation. What could this announcement be about? How much more excitement could be wedged into a day like today? Ooooh his tummy was full of butterflies!
“Well, son, it’s been a couple of years since your mother and I have been thinking about it and, well...”
...
“... you’re going to have a little brother.”
Ponies all over Canterlot could’ve recalled hearing a violent volley of coughs that evening.
Sunstone, so surprised by this unexpected news, accidentally swallowed wrongly. Maybe his dad was right: One of these days, his tongue will find its way to the bottom of his throat.
“A-are you okay, Sunny?” asked his mother.
“... A BROTHER? I’ll have a BROTHER!? When!? Where is he!?” Sunstone replied, after reaching for a hoof full of air.
Night Light chuckled and simply nodded toward the barrel of his loving wife. Sunstone didn’t immediately comprehend what it meant, being too young to be well acquainted with the rules of biology. That didn’t stop the two adults to precise that his younger brother would only come to be in a couple of months from there.
Of course, for a youngster like Sunstone, the notion of time had a much more different scale. He couldn’t hide his excitement, wanting nothing more than to hold in his own hooves the newest addition to his family, like, yesterday! If he was in a sugar rush mood earlier thanks to his newly earned cutie mark, now, he was in full tornado mode, bouncing all around the walls of the house.
“I’ll have a brother! A YOUNGER brother! And I’ll protect him with all my life! And he’ll... he’ll look up to me, and we’ll love each other, and I’ll teach him everything I know, and I’ll be his big hero, and, and...”
A small tear flowed out of his purple iris.
“... This is the best day of my life!” he managed to murmur between sobs.
I was totally out of breath. But I was nearly done! Me, Gray Calx, giving up when the job was this close to being completed? Not on my watch, buddy! That, you could take to the bank.
And so, I went at it again.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Come on now, just a bit more...
CLANG!
... Ah, there we go! Finally! To think that this particular chunk held as tightly as it did, the contrarian! But I sure showed it, ha! With a mining tool between my teeth, no surface could resist Gray Calx’s special touch for mineral destruction, no Sire!
Suffice to say, after two weeks at it, I think I’ve extracted as much out of this particular copper vein as I possibly could. In fact, I wouldn’t be too far off saying that I completely bled it dry, heh. Today was pretty fruitful and, wiping the grime out of my brow, I think it’d behoof me to consider punching out. My cart was filled to the brim with rusty maroon ores anyway; not much else I could’ve fit in there.
And so, I spat out my trusty pickaxe, content to have accomplished another prolific day in the mine. It was a modest way of earning my bits and, I mean, who could possibly desire more in life than this? Not everypony could afford the luxury of being a bigshot hero, y’know. In fact, I quite despised those who thought they could just cruise through life by being all adventurous and courageous and what not. Blergh. Way to live with your head in the clouds. That there was definitely not my definition of productivity, something us “lil’ guys” understood. Not to mention, Equestria was built on the back of hard laborers such as myself; did we forget about that? So yeah, you could call me quite content in my quest for doing actual honest and meaningful work!
I’ve been down there for, what, nine hours now? A relatively short day, by my standards. Still, nine hours without seeing so much as a single sunbeam. Nine hours without uttering a single word. That’s right: This here pony worked alone. I’ve always loved tending to myself, playing it solo. Not that I was too antisocial, no no. In fact, I quite enjoyed bonding with my friends. It’s just, when I was at work, I was in the zone, y’see. Chit chatting with coworkers while chipping away at the stony walls wasn’t my definition of good times. Concentrating on the work at hoof, now that, that tickled me kindly.
Which is exactly why I’ve been at it for five years now. Give or take a few months.
And I was beyond satisfied with this routine of a lifestyle. Nopony could take it away from me. I wanted to live like this forever. That was my muse; my calling. I neither needed nor desired anything else: I was already at the top. I peaked. And you know what?
I was happy. So, so happy.
Putting the pickaxe back in its rightful slot in my specialized saddlebags, I began pulling the chain-link rope in front of the cart with my strong jaw, bringing it up the slope on its rails. Sure, it was backbreakingly heavy, I wasn’t too much of a narcissist to deny it. But I was sturdy and tough, and, above all, pretty darned stubborn.
With a waterfall of sweat drenching my poor muzzle, my resilience paid off. Finally exiting the pitch-black cavern, I took a moment to turn off the crystal light on my protective helmet. I wasn’t one to waste enchantments for no other reason than being forgetful and/or inconsiderate. These things were pretty greasy bits-wise! We haven't all been blessed at birth with a horn and fancy light spells, thank you very much.
I ended up emerging out of the cliffside of the tall and slanted mountain ridge. That mountain, among the many others in the surrounding area: So rich with minerals, so rich with untapped potential! I found it astonishing after all these years of digging in it how ripe to be ransacked it still was. Well, it was up for grabs, and I was there. It was a living.
The cart came to a rest, bumping into the wooden lattice by the end of the rails. I took a look at the many little Swiss cheese holes I’ve dug over the years, all of them scattered across the multiple plateaus overhanging from these stunning blue mountains. I was such a tunnel rat. With them being no larger than a few meters in diameter, it sure took a non claustrophobic pony to carry out this kind of job and luckily, this big ol' Gray Calx fellow, well, he didn’t have a fear of tight spaces.
Getting my breathing under control (yeah, the cart was really heavy, admittedly), in my nostrils came the afternoon scent of pine and fresh air.
Outer Grove.
It’s crazy how much wilderness surrounded this little town. Evergreens were a-plenty and the wildlife was bursting with activity. This little corner of Equestria was so natural, so unmodified by us overzealous ponies. There was something beautiful about seeing those impressive tall Douglas-firs grow unrestrained, reaching heights never seen before in the rest of the country. As though the lush forest had an iron grip on the environment and we weren’t all too welcomed to tamper with it. But where the temperate rainforest held an irrevocable claim on the land, Outer Grove still managed to nestle in a tight little spot by the base of this mountain. A beautiful coexistence. You truly couldn’t find another place like this within the confines of our borders.
As I took it all in, my dreamlike mind always caressing me with poetic thoughts, especially on beautiful days like these, the silhouette of another pony emerged from the excavated path up ahead.
Not an unexpected presence. This right there was none other than Mr. Gold, the town’s respected prospector, and the earth pony whom I was currently employed under. In a few words like many: He was my boss.
And what a benevolent boss he was. They made #1 Boss mugs after him.
Green coated like the endless forest surrounding us, ginger haired like the bark of the trees, with his horseshoe mustache and his baggy orange eyes, his mug sure was recognizable around the place. Not to mention his iconic barcolt cotton vest with his little shovel and pick brooch pegged on it and, of course, his comically oversized white ten-gallon hat. Where I’m getting at is, he sure was a character. One easily identifiable, even as a dot by the horizon, heh.
“And how is my favorite Gray Calx doing today?” he said in a voice that, to the uneducated, could almost pass as grouchy, but that was, in truth, serene and posed.
“Heh. Being your favorite doesn’t mean much when there’s only one of me around,” I playfully responded.
“Ah, alas...! That reality hurts me every day; we sure could use the two or three of you, eh!”
We both snickered at this pointless chatter. But darned me if I didn’t love pointless chatter – outside of my work time, of course.
Mr. Prospector (I preferred calling him by his title; Gold didn’t do much for me (he wasn’t even gold, tsk)) whistled at the sight of my overflowing cart. I think a pebble of copper even fell from it and rolled by his hooves, almost as if to prove that it was that full.
“Another prosperous day in the pit?” he rhetorically asked.
“You know you can always count on me!” I proudly smiled. But not without a modest footnote. “But ah, day ain’t ‘xactly over yet. I still have to wheel this bad boy down the path, properly store it in the warehouse, weigh it, document it in our archives, bla bla bla,” I rotated a hoof around. “You know the drill.”
He nodded at that. Then, something seemed to have put his brain cogs into full gear.
“Calx, I was maybe thinking... Well, I'll be blunt: I might drop by the Two Arches later tonight.”
That twisted a knot in my heart in an instant. “Y-you!? Really now!”
“Yup, really now!”
“But we haven’t seen you at the pub in eons! Truth be told, we all sorta thought you went cold turkey on alcohol. What gives? What’s the occasion?”
He awkwardly backed away a bit, his look fleeing mine. I think his cheeks even turned pink; an unusual sight when it came to my prideful boss.
“Oh, n-no occasion, really! I just, I figured I’d see my crew in the midst of their happy hours for a change- I mean, should I expect to see you there tonight too?”
“At the Two Arches? Uh, duh! Sh'yeah!” I nervously giggled. “Wouldn’t want to miss for the world an opportunity to see my own superior all boozed up and tipsy, hahaha!”
“Excellent!” he replied perhaps a little too fast. “Well then, I’ll see you there later, eh?”
I silently gestured positively. Satisfied, Mr. Prospector started to make his descent. Right before his form disappeared from my view, he craned his neck backward, a smug expression painting his face.
“Oh, and Calx? Do take a nice shower before you join us. You’re giving a wet timberwolf a run for its bits!” he teased, before vanishing proper.
Pfah! Me, reeking? I’m sure he was exaggerating.
...
Sniff sniff...
…
Sweet mother of Celestia!
Pepped up and refreshed. Cleaned and washed. Dressed and ready to take on the world.
That was me, ever since I left my habitation. I even tried to brush my scruffy mane for a change. The two darker stripes of mauve in it have never been this parallel to each other in, erf, years, maybe? Bah! It’s not like other ponies didn’t enjoy my normal scraggly appearance. But since Mr. Prospector made extra sure to let me know of his presence at the bar, well, I wasn’t going to deceive him with my usual detached and uncaring outlooks. I could look semi professional when I tried. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. Prestigiousness was in the eye of the beholder.
I was on my way to the Two Arches. Princess Luna was pretty close to raising the moon, judging by that inflated fireball hovering right by the tip of the horizon. Thankfully, my house and the pub were merely 15 minutes apart and that’s if you trotted slowly on purpose. In fact, that was kind of true for most of the landmarks around the place; Outer Grove wasn’t exactly known for being a bustling megapolis. At least, it meant that I never got lost around town.
And my house WAS pretty recognizable: Wooden and cylindrical in shape, it certainly was gaudy. Some ponies even said that it bore some resemblance with princess Twilight Sparkle’s old departed library in Ponyville. Unsurprisingly, I ah, really hated that comparison and kindly made them aware of it.
There’s no denying that it was in pretty rough shape, especially when compared to the rest of the neighborhood, but that was by no fault of my own. It was practically fit to be demolished when I first acquired it. And ever since then? I’ve reconstructed it slowly, but surely. A nice side project I distracted myself with when I wasn’t busy in the mine. I took pride in that. Give it a couple of years and my little plot of land will host one heck of a castle! The one I finally deserved!
Oh, I oughta say. On my way to my house, I bumped into Seesaw Log and Leafy Humus, our favorite inseparable duo of dutiful lumberponies. I think they were on their way to the bar as well. Must’ve heard about tonight’s extra presence too, wink wink. Oddly enough, they made damned sure to tell me to “wear something nice,” which, on a whim, I agreed to. Didn’t really think about it back then.
And this is why I was now enveloped in this quaint little jacket I seldom wore. I think it was none other than Skybrush who gifted it to me a couple o’ years ago. It was for my birthday, if I recall correctly? She was always happy to see me wear it. Hey, maybe she was going to be at the Two Arches tonight as well? My unusual appearance would surely make her swoon, har har!
Lost in thoughts, it took me a few seconds to register the loud distant howls that echoed in the valley. Two of them. Three of them now! ... And then, nothing. Silence once more. Deadly silent. W-what the heck was that? Did I just suffer from an auditory hallucination? Five years since I’ve settled here, and I’ve never heard anything of the sorts! What kind of unholy abomination even trailblazed these woods this late in the day, let alone produce such blood curdling screams?
He... hahaha! Y-yeah right! Monsters roaming about! Here, of all places; could you even imagine such tomfoolery? Boy was that complete balderdash. To even think about such things bedeviled me.
Nothing ever happens in Outer Grove.
...
And yet.
I’ll be honest with you. I was starting to feel a teensy bit estranged by the whole situation. Walking alone will do that to anypony who thinks too much. And to anypony who may or may not have heard a demon escaping from Tartarus itself, sure, why not.
But seriously though. Why was Mr. Prospector finally coming back to drink with us seemingly out of nowhere – and this, after months of being a no show? Why did Log and Humus tell me to look presentable when they were in fact the ponies who cared the least about fashion in all of Equus? Why did I just hear (or haven’t heard) the faraway sounds of something large, angry, and dangerous?
Come to think of it, the village was unusually quiet for what should’ve been a busy Friday evening. The Outer Grove I knew was way more festive than this borderline ghost town. Why was it so deserted? Brrrr. I’ll definitely feel more at ease seated in front of a nice pint filled to the rim. H-ha... hahaha...
Nothing ever happens in Outer Grove.
Thankfully, after nonchalantly turning a corner, the establishment in question drew itself before me.
There was no mistaking the Two Arches. It and its... well, its two arches. Right in front of the façade, covering a little front terrace. The building was one of the larger ones in town, but that’s because it also had an inn bundled in. I slept there for a good chunk of my first year when I first immigrated. The place was cutesy and well furbished. One of the three columns making the iconic arches, the middle one to be precise, was extravagantly decorated. Unlike its left brother and its right sister who had a flat surface, this one has been masterfully carved to have three nondescript earth ponies on their back legs, holding each other. Around the trim where the ceiling was, the topmost pony held a sphere.
It was me.
I was the one who crafted that little piece of art. I sculpted that. I had proficiency in the domain, oh yes I did.
Didn’t think I could subtly boast, eh? S'not because I pickaxed rocks that I couldn't have a softer side as well. Indeed, to me, sculpting was just like mining, except, using your creative bone instead of raw muscles.
...
The Two Arches was usually such a lively place.
But now, not unlike the rest of Outer Grove, it stood in complete silence. A worrying contrast with the bombastic tunes one could usually hear from the outside.
I was probably being silly. Paranoid, even.
Nothing ever happens in Outer Grove.
So, mustering a bit of courage, I chased these intrusive thoughts out of my mind and politely made my way in. Engulfing myself into the darkness emanating from within...
“Hello? A-anypony in here?” was my first, yet not totally unreasonable question.
A few stifled whispers were the only responses I was allowed to have.
“Anypony at all?” I tempted fate again.
Lights on!
Confetti!
Balloons!
Party horns!
A huge banderole unrolling with “HAPPY 5 YEARS GRAY CALX” written in bold gold letters!
Half a hundred ponies huddled in every corner of the pub, jumping out of hiding spots all at once!
“SURPRIIIIIISEEEEEEE!!!” shouted the mob in unison.
... I was stone cold frozen. Even my pupils refused to make any movement. I was more immobile than a pony after an encounter with a cockatrice. Finally, after an awkward cough or two, Mr. Prospector himself emerged from the crowd and approached me.
“Well, waddaya think, eh Calx? We might not have Mrs. Pinkie Pie’s magic touch for legendary parties, but ‘think we cobbled up something pretty decent, eh?”
...
He waved a hoof in front of the statue that was myself. “... Calx?”
“I... I need to go empty my bowels, pronto!” I whimpered.
The whole town was here. And I mean, the whole town was here. Even Mayor De La Tour partook in the preparations. At his age, too! Dedication galore.
The bar was simply unrecognizable. Usually basking in warm colors, brown and orange being the predominant palette, it was now a pastel hellscape. Every single table had a multicolor tablecloth on it. Each beam in the ceiling was defiled with colorful arrays of balloons taped on them. Party streamers zigzagged all across the place without reason. I had never seen this many paper plates gathered in one building in my life before!
And... and it was all for me. Me! Gray Calx the miner! The whole town pulled this little number together just for this random nopony! I knew we were a small tightly knit community, but wow!
That was unbelievable. That was inconceivable. All of this, in the name of celebrating the exact day of my fifth year in Outer Grove. I never thought I was important enough to warrant such attention. How do you even properly respond to this many sets of eyes locked onto you? I wasn’t a hero, and thank Celestia for that. I simply extracted shiny rocks, days after days. Was I that impactful? Hardly believable.
But... not totally unwanted either. Feeling appreciated was... I dunno. Good? Maybe?
Well, I tell you what. I dove my nose into the nearest tankard I could find so fast like you have no idea. I've never been in the limelight before; I was totally out of practice. What's the proper decorum when a pony as unexceptional as me is put on a pedestal? Didn't have a clue.
And now? I was seated at the bar counter, sandwiched between Mr. Prospector and a yellow earth pony that went by the name of Doctor Stethorsecope. Always in his lab coat, this one. And in the middle of a... rather peculiar story, to say the least.
“... And that’s how I earned my cutie mark, hehehahaha!”
“Whoa,” I said, strangely nonplussed and impressed at the same time. “Never thought accidentally stabbing yourself with a needle could earn a pony their cutie mark.”
“What about you, eh, Calx?” prompted my slightly inebriated boss. “Ever told him how you got yours? It’s a pretty good story!”
“Ah, psshhhh,” I said, feeling a burn in my cheeks.
But the good doctor insisted and wasn’t about to let me weasel out of this one. Always high on adrenaline, that medicine pony! Anyway, caught in a corner, I complied. I recited my tale. But not before chugging the rest of this delicious fermented malt.
Sluuuurrrppp…
Ahhh, that hits the spot. Alright, here we go.
It involved me going on a school trip a little less than thirty years ago. The classroom and I, we all travelled by train from Canterlot to the Badlands under the supervision of Mrs. Clarity and a special guest whose name I totally forgot. But he was an expert in geology, I remembered this much. Now, you might think that the Badlands were a preeeetty rough spot to bring a class full of five and six years old, and you’d be absolutely correct, but our expedition was to remain close to the heavily defended train station. Plus, we had the protection of a hoof full of royal guards, so we were pretty safe, all things considered.
There, we were to learn about crystal formations and all that jazz. Something that particularly catered to my interests, being the sole little earth pony underdog in a class full of fancy pegasi and unicorns. I was so excited and reckless that I had asked one of my pegasus friends to carry me further into the territory when the teachers had their backs turned. We even managed to elude the guards! We were small and sneaky, hehehe.
In retrospect, that was a terrible plan. So much wrong could’ve happened.
But when I climbed that perilous mesa with my buddy? I felt something building inside of me. A sense of purpose. A tingle in my tummy. In a complete fit of determination, I began digging, and digging, and digging. In a spot I just knew all of my answers lied buried. Once deep enough, after a low rumbling, the unexpected happened: A huge jet stream pushed me out of my crevasse. I tumbled and rolled down the hill. But when my dizziness subsided? When I looked up? A magnificent waterfall of rainbow was gushing out of the cavity. I had found an extremely rare source of liquid rainbow, ready to be pumped and exploited. The whole class did not miss the spectacle from afar. I think the geologist unicorn even fainted at the sight.
When I finally looked back down? A star and a pick adorned both of my flanks.
Doctor Stethorsecope whistled. “Whoa wee, you sure don’t play little league, Gray Calx!”
“It’s true, he’s always had a knack for getting in trouble,” softly chuckled the voice of a mare behind me I immediately recognized.
I didn’t even need to turn around to know my best friend had made it to the party.
“Skybrush!” I exclaimed, abandoning my spot and my empty drink, making my two bantering partners shrug.
“Hello, goofball,” she smiled like an angel.
Didn’t have to be asked twice to hug the crap out of her. A hug she happily returned without hesitation.
Skybrush. Now, she was a mare. A wonderful one, might I add. She’s been my beacon of sanity ever since I first stepped out of that train. We’ve built a solid friendship over the past five years, the two of us. You could always catch us chatting, cracking jokes together, helping one another, planning all sorts of crazy activities. The list went on. They say that friendship is magic, and thanks to her, I was inclined to believe it.
She, not unlike the majority of the hamlet, myself included, was an earth pony. A peach colored one, with a beautiful and healthy pale brown mane covering one of her eyes. She had the cutest freckles, the greenest of eyes, and a smile that could cure any disease.
I'll admit, I'm beating a bit around the bush here. Because in truth, she was ah, well, let’s just say, she was a bit rotund. A smidge above her target BMI? Trust me, I was putting it lightly here. The euphemism to end them all. But once a gentlecolt, always a gentlecolt, and...
... Oh dear. Please, do not tell her what I just said about her weight. That was a sensitive topic for her; a can of worms I had no interest in opening. F-forget I said anything!
Different topic, Calx, different topic! Uuhhh. Yes! Her primary occupation was to tend to the general store with her husband. Well, that was a couple of years back. At some point, her better half simply vanished and Skybrush never really elaborated as to why. She simply insisted that they “weren’t seeing eye to eye anymore” and that they became incompatible. I always felt like there was more than this to this story, but I never pried. Who the hay was I to do so.
So, alone she handled the general store. A very important duty in Outer Grove nonetheless. Outside of her business hours, she was an incredibly talented painter. Her cutie mark proved it: It was a paintbrush surrounded by a blue swirly ribbon. She always enjoyed the breathtaking scenery of Outer Grove. There’ve been times where I just sat by her, watching her masterfully recreate the landscape in front of us onto her canvas. Seeing her at work was mesmerizing. Ah, to be so talented...
Skybrush sometimes lamented how she’d like to travel across Equestria one of these days to paint all sorts of different locations, but she never could commit to the idea. At least, not until her daughter, of which she’s the sole guardian, was mature enough to take care of her own. Being just a little over seven years-old, she was still attending Outer Grove's only primary school and Skybrush often told me that she couldn't in good conscience pry her away from the friends she's made there. Always being on the road and playing roulette with different schools would be the best way for her to feel alienated and lost.
And speaking of the little filly! There she was, emerging from behind Skybrush’s bushy tail. You could hardly miss her; she was the centerpiece of any room she found herself in.
The orange earth pony, that adorable little rubber ball of pure energy, pounced directly onto my back when she recognized me. She tried in vain to light-heartedly trample me. She had always loved doing that. Her brash way of playing hit right at home with me. I too used to roughhouse a bit too harshly at her age, heh!
Heh...
“Hiiii uncle Calxie!” she thrillingly said, her front hooves messing up my mane.
Yes, I wasn't really her uncle. No, that did not stop her from calling me as such. No, no one corrected her. Yes, I loved that title.
“Hehehe, and a big hello to you too, Honey Dream! How are you doin’, sweetheart?”
“Gooood!” she cheered. “But what about you? It’s your pa-a-a-arty!”
“A-yup! It sure is! And I’m super duper peachy about it!” I said, closing an eye for it to not be poached by her twitchy hooves.
“Yay!”
That was her cue for disembarking me. Not that I minded her extra weight. I hauled mining carts on a daily basis, after all. Honey Dream skipped back to her mother’s side, her curious face gazing at everything and nothing all around the lavishly decorated bar.
She really reminded me of my younger years. When I was still lively and hyperactive. When I still believed to be Equestria's solution to an inexistent problem. Naïve and blissfully ignorant: There was something nostalgic about this. Like that day I first bore my cutie mark; boy was I ecstatic about it. But alas, the rest of everything I had to endure came along like an unstoppable cannonball, and history wrote itself.
Sigh. Anyway...
Skybrush etched a serene smile. “She really loves you, you know.”
“Heh, how could she not? I am pretty charming, don’tcha think?”
She quietly giggled at the thought. “I see you’re wearing the vest. Don’t you just look stunning in it!” she winked, knowing a thing or two about flustering me.
“Ah, naaah! You’re just saying that,” I said, waving a dismissive hoof.
“Mmmmh. Maybe I am. Because you’d look even better if it was properly buttoned. Hang on, lemme just...”
My best friend approached me, a determined look on her cheery face.
Oof, she was awfully close. She never really got that close to me in this manner. How, uh, peculiar. I could smell her delicious perfume, taking a good whiff in my nostrils. She might’ve been overweight, but that didn’t mean she didn’t take good care of her appearance. These things were mutually exclusive.
Skybrush was looking down at the task at hoof, concentrating on putting the little buttons of my vest in their rightful place, but me, I couldn’t help but peer into the two limes that were her eyes.
Yikes, was it just me, or it was unbearably hot in here? I mean, the Two Arches was pretty overcrowded. Filled to the brim with ponies. Must’ve been that. Body heat and all the science behind it. Yeah.
Wait, don’t stare, you impolite oaf!
To the left my pupils wandered. Only to find the image of Mr. Prospector lifting his mug with a knowing look, right before drowning his face in it. Oh come on, now!
Thankfully for my strangely fast-beating heart, she was just about done with her close quarters job.
“And there ya go! Now you’re not a fashion trainwreck anymore, hehehe!” she backed away.
“I uh... ah...”
An escape plan, quick!
Crud crud crud, leeet’s see now... Wait! Didja hear that? What was that high pitched, annoying noise? This one, I definitely did not imagine. That seemed worthy of being investigated, oh yes it was!
I frantically looked around to find the source of my distraction. And eureka! There it was: Seesaw Log and Leafy Humus, pulling wooden barrels filled up with some sort of viscous brown liquid. With a rope in their mouth, they were most surely bringing this vile substance out of the pub, and this, under the cautious supervision of the barmare, Mrs. Sweet Pint. Intriguing. Captivating, even. I sure could busy myself with this little enigma.
Time to drift away!
Swallowing drily, I returned my attention back to the big mare in front of me. “What uh, what do you suppose these two are up to now?”
She lazily turned to look. “Oh? When it comes to Log and Leafy, who knows. What I do know, though, is that their carelessness will doom us all one day, mark my words!” she laughed.
“... I better go check on ‘em, just to make sure, yep yep!” I said, having found my excuse.
“Alright, goofball. But promise me to take it easy too. Like a certain filly once said, ‘It’s your pa-a-a-arty!’”
“Mo-ooom!” moaned Honey Dream.
I nodded to let the mother know her words didn’t fall on deaf ears. Then, moving past the two of them, I approached the busy lumberponies. They seemed to be struggling a bit with their cargo.
“You fellows need any help? Sorta know a thing or two about pulling stuff.”
Also, not wanting to brag or anything, but I was pretty much the beefiest pony around. It had its perks.
“Oh heyo Gray Calx!” said Log. “Nup, w-we’re good! Don’tcha worry about us.”
“Uh... hehehe, yeah! Don’tcha worry about us,” repeated his sidekick, as he always does.
I raised an eyebrow, taking a peek at the thick, putrid material inside of the containers.
“... What do we have here?” I asked, curious.
“Oh, that? That’s like, two months of discarded cooking oil.”
“Yup, discarded oil!”
“And Mrs. Sweet Pint over there? Enrolled us to bring it at the train station.”
“Yup, at the train station!”
Ah. I suppose it made sense. Outer Grove was so secluded from the rest of Equestria that many services often took weeks, if not months, to reach us. It was difficult to keep in touch with the rest of the world. For instance, a hostile takeover could happen in Canterlot and we’d be none the wiser until at least five or six days after the coup!
It was no different with our supplies, naturally. Out of Outer Grove went minerals and timber, and in came food, medicine, furniture, etc. All sorts of things that made a town function like a town, in sum. That’s why Mr. Prospector was so insistent on properly storing the precious stones I got for him inside of the company’s warehouse. Because sometimes? We could wait for as long as half a year before a merchandise train would come to empty our shelves.
I suppose the same was true for these drums of used oil. Very nefarious for the environment, these had to be carefully and properly disposed to not clog the Two Arches’ plumbing system and, more importantly, to not contaminate the very soil underneath. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Outer Grove didn’t exactly have a specialized facility offering such treatments. Thus, out of the town these barrels went. And just like with the rest of our exports, it could take a really long time before anypony in charge would come to take them away.
“Aaaanyway. How are you enjoying the party so far?” resumed Seesaw Log.
“Yeah, how are you enjoying the party, uh... so far?” pointlessly added Leafy Humus.
“Well, let’s see now. Mr. Prospector over there? Totally getting smashed. That alone makes it ten outta ten!” I jested.
That made the two lollygaggers laugh in unison. They too were subordinates of his, handling, as one would expect, the deforestation part of our industry.
“But enough about me now, heh.” Had to play it cool there, tonight was enough of an ego trip. “How you two doin’? Word on the wind says that you’ve cleared a good chunk of site 2B, is that right?”
“Yep/Yuppers!” they said in synch.
“Should’ve seen it, Calx! Me and Leafy Humus? We plowed through the woodlands-”
“-like kapow!”
“We’ve never fallen so many trees in one day, but today? Ohoho, we chopped and cleared many acres of land-”
“-like kapow!”
“Now, we definitely have more than enough building space to erect Outer Grove’s first college!”
“-like... kapow? Hang on, that one don’t work...”
I just had to smile at their goofiness. Silly stallions, these two.
I didn’t sustain that smile for very long; it left to make place for a subtle scowl. Something tickled my brain, telling me to press a particular issue. Mmmmh. Yeah, even though I didn’t want to nourish my paranoia, maybe it was wise to ask. One could only ignore non-trivial aspects of their evening for so long.
“Heh, good work, you two!” I said to butter things out. Then: “But ah... tell me something. Have you, uh, heard uh...” I looked left and right, to make sure nopony else was in mocking range, “... strange screams out in the woods lately?”
...
I bit the inside of my cheek at the nonresponse. “Uh, you know! The kind of screams that’d come out of a big mean forest creature and what not... Right? Anything unusual at all out there deep in the woods? N-nothing to report?”
This whole time, they just blankly stared at me, until they both exchanged a confused look. Uh oh, time to bury that faux pas! I bit more than I could chew here with my little foray into “what the hay” territory. I didn’t want them to spread bad rumors about me, nope nope nope! In a small town like Outer Grove, my reputation could be tarnished relatively quickly.
“Haaaa! Gotcha both, hehehahaha!” I laughed like a maniac, a bead of sweat running down from my forehead. “Pranked!”
They both oooh’d like they finally understood the punchline of a joke they didn’t fully comprehend. Good, good. Roll with it, you two.
“Ha! Nothing to worry about,” assured Seesaw Log. “Even if there was a monster roaming about, the Element bearers, under princess Twilight Sparkle's leadership, would surely take care of it.”
“She’d come all in like ‘whoaaaa,’ and we’d be like ‘nooo waay,’ and the monster would growl, ‘grooooaah,’ and princess Twilight would beam it like ‘peeeeww pew pew peeeeww!’”
That was Leafy Humus turning into a sound effects machine. Right before two stallions joined our private talk, seemingly having eavesdropped on our not-so-subtle discussion.
“That’s right, eh? If there was anything bad out there, we can always count on the princess of friendship to pull us out of trouble... hic!” said a drunk Mr. Prospector to my left.
“Heheheahaha! Ooooh wouldn’t that be quite the sight! Heeeeeee heeheehee, princess Twilight in little Outer Grove, hahaha!” guffawed a fidgety Doctor Stethorsecope to my right.
“Oooooh! Could you imagine if there was a dragon nearby?” chimed in a bouncy Honey Dream.
Right before her mom approached the six of us. “Nothing the princess and her friends couldn't handle, sweetie,” a smile between her puffy cheeks.
“Yeah! Princess Twilight is soooo awesome!” beamed the filly.
“True that!” acquiesced pretty much everypony in our chit chat circle.
“She's the best!”
“She's a champ!”
“Equestria's best protector!”
“Anyone seen my glasses?”
“A true princess!”
“One hay of a go-getter!”
And then they all turned toward me. Expectant grins up their muzzles. As if I was supposed to add anything to their blatant fanboyism.
Hum, when did the conversation turn for the worst, again? To think it was so pleasant mere seconds ago.
“I... I uh...” I mumbled, unable to muster any coherent words. “S-sure. She... she truly is apt at performing her duties, uh...”
“Something the matter, son?” my boss bashfully asked.
“Y-you don’t like the princess, uncle Calxie?” said the pleading face of Honey Dream with big puppy eyes.
I was weirding out the crowd with my bizarre reaction, that much was apparent. They closed in, more than ready to fish for answers.
Okay, that was a bit too much, here. Time out. Was this, or was this not a party in my honor? Whose name was on the banderole: Mine, or the alicorn who already had so much? Can we not turn this minuscule moment, this inconsequential little party within Equestria’s long timeline, into another fawning session, please? That possible at all, or was it so inconceivable not to yap her name at any given time? Why did she have to hog the spotlight all for herself even in moments that had NOTHING to do with her almighty accomplishments? My party was merely a footnote in the grand scheme of everything the oh-so-important Element of Magic had done; just let me have it, for Celestia’s sake! Stop poking your snout in my business – try that for a change!
Frustrating, really.
Dare I say I was seething. Slightly. Maybe more than I thought.
Made me want just to... Ugh!
“Look, can we just talk about something else!?” I snapped.
Couldn’t manage to tread on eggshells with that one, damn it. The group recoiled at my sudden outburst, what with me being totally out of character. I was usually so detached and carefree, but here? My lingering ire was not only uncalled for, but it was also beyond unusual, especially coming out of the mouth of a stallion such as myself. One that was usually so posed, so stoic. I ran on a strict jokes and pleasantries diet. Guess today, I strayed away a bit, though I really wish I hadn’t.
In any case, the awkwardness was palpable.
Thanks, princess Twilight Sparkle, destroyer of friendships! Still finding a way to drop a deuce in my cereals even when kilometers apart. Once again, another point in your favor, you joy-sucking scum basket!
...
…
I needed to take it down a notch.
Beer. More beer. Infinitely more beer. That was a solution. A solution? THE solution. Mr. Prospector had the right idea. To the bar counter! Somepony deserved to have his meddling thoughts numbed a bit.
Smiling sheepishly in a futile attempt to return the party to what it once was, I excused myself, and made my way to Sweet Pint for my next order.
What was I so worked up about anyway? Twilight Sparkle, tche. She wasn't about to make an appearance in these streets anytime soon, that was a given. This place was MY turf; she could have the rest of her Equestria. In five years, nothing ever prompted a visit from Her Royal Highness in this quiet little town of ours. That wasn’t about to change. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I could gain solace in knowing this.
Besides,
Nothing ever happens in Outer Grove.